In order to tell the story I want to, I have to tell a different one first.
A long time ago there was a TV show, called "Love, American Style".
The show was an anthology, each week presenting a different story about the perils and joys of being in love.
And on this show there was an episode where a singer known for his sad songs about heartbreak and loneliness found a girl, and then discovered he couldn't write sad songs, or indeed any songs.
I believe something like that has happened to me. As a kid, and even for most of my adulthood, going through my eventful life, I escaped into my imagination, and all the stories I have written and published here ultimately have their origin in those flights of fancy.
But these days, my life has settled down.
I successfully transitioned (well everything but surgery, but ah well), I got acceptance from my mother and tolerance from everybody else, and I believe I have made much progress in processing my memories of the nasty events of my past.
And my stories have simply stopped.
I have a half dozen started idea, but I haven't even looked at them since the calenderer turned to 2023, and I have no real hope of progressing them
I'm just not miserable enough to write.
Is this a good thing? Maybe. I mean it is nice to have a little less stress, but I LIKED being able to write, and if its gone for good, I am going to miss it.
Ah, well.
Comments
Just ask yourself...
Is being happier ( or at least having found a place where you can be content) a better place to be? If you think it is, then the muse that helped you get here has done her job. If that means that you need to hire a new muse, go ahead and advertise...
I'm honestly not trying to be facetious, Dot.
One of my favourite songs about depression was written by a Scot called Karine Polwart, who was a Shetland Social Worker . She said But I can find joy in the sound of the rain
You have to find joy where you can
It helped me a lot.
Big hugs Lucy xx
"Lately it occurs to me..
what a long strange trip its been."
Intersting...
This:-
And on this show there was an episode where a singer known for his sad songs about heartbreak and loneliness found a girl, and then discovered he couldn't write sad songs, or indeed any songs.
describes almost every country singer in the business. (or nearly).
Perhaps it is time to move on with your stories? No longer write about the struggles of being trans but about the successes?
What about stories where being trans is not the main theme but an incidental one?
How about a character who has transitioned and is making a career for herself in the big bad world?
I know that this does not really apply to you but there is life after cheerleading and proms. (if I ever write a story that is centered on either of them, it is way past time that I gave up living).
Samantha
Joni Mitchell
She has written that she stopped writing new songs after she met her biological daughter, who had been adopted away from her. However, if you get a chance, listen to her 2000 version of “Both Sides Now.” It’s absolutely breathtaking, completely different from her own young treatment of it, or that of Judy Collins.
As to your art, I wonder if you could rewrite, or revisit old themes from the perspective you now have? Who knows? It might inspire some still going through what you’ve now passed. Again, who knows? The purpose of art is not always known to the artist; perhaps that’s even its defining characteristic.
And by the way, since the start of 2023 is a short dry spell, long as it may seem to you.
As my life settled down
I've found that I mostly can't write from the heart. That is I have to be much more organized than before. There was a time when I could sit down and crank out 7 or 8 thousand word in a single setting. This allowed me to easily complete a story in two or three settings. These days, I need to allow a story to peculate for a while after starting it. Initially I set up the trope that is the basis of the story. I also have to have a desired conclusion in mine. But in writing I reach a point where sometimes it feels like I've painted myself into a corner. I can't see just what it will take to get the story from that point to the desired conclusion. At that point, I have to set it aside and mentally explore different takes on it.
Sometimes this is a long, long process. I have one story in the works that I feel is nearing completion that was started nearly 25 years ago, and I've again found myself stymied as to how to get over the hump to be on the downhill to the conclusion. I've left it fallow for about three or four months now.
Another story that I've got going is doing better. It's only about two years since it's inception and is in the final or penultimate chapter. I'm currently exploring two or three arcs that will carry it forward.
Essentially writing is a lot more work than it used to be.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin eine Mann
Decisions, Decisions ... How to decide between ...
... Just how could I possibly decide between preferring a Happy friend, or selfishly wanting another Dorothy story born out of pain ...What a quandary ...
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It's a no-brainer, really ...
A happy Dorothy with a happy life, of course.
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Fear not. The way the world works, it will hand you troubles. Happy/ier you will more easily deal with them, and, "when the dust settles" you can fictionalize how dreadful it was and regale us with a "Comedy of Terrors".