Hey everyone,
I was really hoping that now that I've got full use of my dominant arm back that I would be able to get back to my regular weekly writing schedule this week instead of just one chapter a week. I kinda ran into problems with depression and PTSD dreams though and as much as I tried over the weekend I wasn't able to get more than a half chapter of Apocalypse Dawn written and a few paragraphs of I Wish. So I was already fighting depression and self-loathing, and since V-Day hit yesterday things just got way worse. I feel worthless, alone, and I'm still stuck living with Martin and watching him pursue other girls. I can barely make myself get out of bed and it's taking every bit of self control I have not to start cutting again. Hopefully I can find a way to shake this off soon and get back to my regular writing schedule.
Amethyst
Comments
Just remember that you are loved…….
By many, both your friends here as well as others. Your worth is not defined by Martin, or by anyone else. You define who you are, and you are so much better than you give yourself credit for. You just have to believe in yourself the way I believe in you.
I know it sounds simplistic, and perhaps it is a little, but you can’t let some asshole determine who and what you are. Have faith in yourself, and trust in what you are capable of.
Almost everyone goes through tough times, and almost everyone doubts themselves and their worth at one time or another. I know I did, and still do at times. It is normal for those like us - the world has beaten it into us for most of our lives. Tell yourself what I do every day - that I will not give in! That I am so much better than what the world has decreed, and that I will not let them beat me down! I will be the woman that I was born to be, and NO ONE WILL STOP ME FROM GETTING THERE!
If you believe in yourself, then you can and will do marvelous things. You already have, and you have so much more to give.
D. Eden
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
more good wishes
I love the strong female protagonists that you write and the positive energy they display when they overcome adversity with grace and empathy.
Those characters come from somewhere deep within you and I'm sure that part of you can help you get through this difficult time.
You have the love and best wishes of many of us who know your work from this site, including me.
I agree with D. If he is
I agree with D. If he is doing that, knowing it hurts you, he's a piece of crap. You need to care and love yourself. We are all so influenced by what others think of us, or by what we think others think of us.
Just be yourself and there are many people out here that think you are a worthwhile person. Even if they only know you from your stories.
Snow angle has 140 kudos in just a few days. Many of us can only dream of that. If writing helps, albeit slowly, just do it slowly. Care for yourself.
I coped with my depression by reading comics and watching cartoons. I never did much more than that and work. We all cope in different ways. Depression doesn't make being imaginative easy. Please don't make it hard on yourself. Just accept your feelings and move on anyway you can.
Take care and best wishes xx
Leeanna
I've Loved Your Stories
Did you have an accident or something? A Stroke perhaps? I'm sorry that you are having a rough time.
I've really enjoyed your Sci Fi Story, "Twice Removed", it was fun. Get well soon.
Gwen
An accident
I slipped on some ice before Christmas and gave my arm a really bad contusion. It's fine now and I on't have to keep it in the sling anymore. It just gets tired easily but the exercises seem to be helping.
*big hugs*
Amethyst
Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3
I'm heading off to ...
... look for your "Twice Removed".
Depression is an Evil, Insidious Beast. I think of depression as the "HIV/AIDS" of our mental health. First it disables/compromises all of our resources we need to deal with it ... and then tells us endless LIES.
Talk to somebody you can trust; get help as needed.
Please.
I have tons of things I'm grateful for; things where I should hug the people involved. Usually not possible, so I've got tons of 'non-deliverable' hugs, "floating out in ether". Grab all you need.
I wish I had something more than huggles to give
but you can take as many as you need
PTSD
is insidious, it worms its way in and destroys your self confidence. Remember you are valued and loved and that you can deal. Try not to let Martin's behavior define you, you are not defined by the actions of others, you determine who you are. We love you here, and you are worth the world to us. I love your stories, they are some of the best ones around. I don't usually like sci-fi or fantasy TG stories, yours are one of the few exceptions. I hope you are doing better soon, and that you are able to get back to your writing for your own self-worth since I believe you are helped by doing so. Take care my dear.
Huggers!!
If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it.”
― Toni Morrison
just remember
being different is good and those that disagree or hurt you either mentally or otherwise are little more then scared little sheep! they fear you so they hurt you witch makes you better then them so try to remember that they hurt you because you are are brave enough to push past your fear witch makes you far better then them!
Thanks everyone
for the support. The past few days haven't been great but I'm trying to shake it off and get my mind focused on writing today. I know that I have friends here on BCTS, I'm just a tactile person and I need physical forms of love and affection but I don't have that right now and V-Day just made it hit home how physically alone and isolated I am. I really appreciate all of the concern, well-wishes, and positive comments though, I have the best readers and friends that I writer could ask for.
*big hugs to you all*
Amethyst
Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3