MTF Transgender Caused By Abusive Male

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I do a lot of reading on Psychological matters and sometimes take College courses. The DSM can most certainly put one in a tail spin if we take it as Gospel. I've noticed that certain schools of thought preach that MTF folk have been abused by males. That could be the case with me because of my own stepfather, and it is very easy for me to hate males. Off setting that, I have met numbers of males who were very nice and caring. The other day on an elevator a man started talking to me and by the time I got off I was gasping. I wonder if he had pinned me to the wall, if I would have resisted? My GOSH !

Being post op and not planning to have a relationship, I wonder if I am sometimes a danger to myself?

Gwen

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Something took normal children and broke them

laika's picture

Otherwise all us various types of transgender folk would have all turned out cisgender.

And if you listen to experts like Focus on Family, all gays were abused by older gay people. It's the only thing that makes sense since otherwise they wouldn't turn gay; which isn't normal, because they say so.

Also, autism is caused by extreme childhood trauma that causes a child to disengage with the world and others; which a lot of mental health professionals (and apparently Pete Townsend when he wrote his musically nice but otherwise just bizarre rock opus TOMMY...) believed up through the 1960's.

All three of these theories belong on the garbage heap of fallacious reasoning + of pathologizing diversity; since being different doesn't mean broken- an aberration that could have been prevented somehow if caught in time. They are no more true than if someone believed there were right and wrong heights to be, or hair color. Or the old belief that left-handedness is a problem and needs to be corrected (which they used to do to kids, whapping them across the knuckles until they learned right-handedness; out of some strange need for standardizing humans...). Our real problem is the people who have a problem with us, and also listening to them can be a shame-inducing headfucker, so I run the other way when they start spouting their ignorant gibberish.
~hugs, Veronica

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We now return to our regular programming:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTl00248Z48
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Over limiting the conditions

For a while, I thought that I was something like Autistic but that was wrong. Then I tried on the Asperger's hat and no. If I remember correctly, I scored -100 in an IQ test, and when they tried the Myers Briggs on me I was INFP and that seemed to fit better. In my experience many teachers are fools just looking for someone to bully. They pissed me off enough to rebelliously succeed without them.

For a while they were calling children ADD or ADHD or some such nonsense. They had drugs for that. I think it was criminal, almost as much as Eugenics. My mother was very afraid of them.

In America, we think we are so superior. I suspicion that the UK, Europe and Russia think we are fools.

Gwen

Exactly

I saw my little brother in the bath, and realised that his genitalia looked like mine. That couldn't be right, I thought, because he was a boy and I was a girl. I knew that, abso bloody lutely.

I was two years old. I would be interested to learn when these influences/abusers/etc 'transed' me.

Simply put? We were targets!

Andrea Lena's picture

A widedly held opinion to which I as being a former clinician, transgender, AND a survivor of multiple forms of child abuse at the hads of three adults? Something to which both my therapists agree?

We did NOT become transgender because we were abused. We were abused because the predators saw in us something to be exploited and used to hurt us to their own selfish ends. Being trans in some way may have contributed to our being victimized and being abused did not contribute in any way whatsoever to our transgender status.

My experince and the opinions of collegues and professionals is that we were targetted. Along with my sister, I was abused by my uncle starting when I was eight and lasting through three summers. My father started abusing me somewhere within that timeframe. He abused my sister, but until after her passing, I was not aware of what he did to her; learning of her own horror with my dad through poetry she had written which she left to me and my bothers. Her own therapist explained it all AFTER she passed.

The third abuser raped me once during a Boy Scout camping trip when I was twelve. I have failed in attempts to contact others in the troop, most of whom were neighborhood best friends. Three died from long term substance abuse; one being my best friend's brother from an overdose of methadone. As far as I know, my best friend is still alive, living somewhere in Utah. The third of our trio lives somewhere in NJ.

Having said that all? I knew when I was five that I was what I would come to understand decades later was transgender.

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Never One Cause

Partially, my stepfather abused me because he was abused. Perhaps I triggered homosexual feelings in him in an age when that was less accepted. I'm an INFP and we make very good sub missives. I'm drawn to Biblical passages aimed a women. I'm also XXY Non-Kleinfelter's with some likely undefined AIS. Tomorrow I am going to the Doctor to deal with an issue of swelling in one leg that my genetics likely contribute to. There are three masses in my Right Brain of unknown cause but they seem to be not related to cancer. My IQ is likely less than 100. I'll never be a star. I did the best I could, being married for 38 years and raising 3 children. One of them is accepting of me. Life is hard at times for most of us. I thought I was going to be a Pastor and wound up this way. These days I am financially comfortable but not rich. I do not seem to experience abuse. I do not expect to ever have a sexual partner. I am thankful.

Thinking is hard

crash's picture

I find it useful to realize that there are very few real psychological "laws of nature." There are astonishingly few real cause and effect laws in psychology. There are no physics or chemistry like laws in psychology. No "If I push the ball this hard it'll roll that far." or "If I mix these three chemicals then smack them with a hammer I'll get an explosion" type laws in Psychology. At best psychology is inferential and statistical and phenomenological. There is no cause and effect law that has been proven experimentally. There is no law of psychology that says "If I do this to Billy in this specific way then in fifteen years he'll get SRS." And doing the experiment to discover that law would be monstrous.

So, as useful as counseling can be, and as effective as some treatments are, there is very little in modern psychology that is more more than interpretation guided by inference and survey. Maybe there is a line from your stepfather to your current situation. Maybe not. More important, I think, is the story telling.

Be safe
Crescenda

AKA

Your friend
Crash

No SRS Without Their Interference

More likely I am me. Sure, I was quite feminine, but not gay, though I was accused of it a lot. Not saying there is something wrong in being gay. It just was not me. Did hatred and fear of males prevent that? How would I know? Un-interfered with, I might have remained male, but not a macho, football watching one. Perhaps a writer of Gothic Romances??? My focus was to feed and care for my family, something I wanted passionately.

Truthfully, I think it was the drugs of the Psych folk that did it, but in this age it is hard to gain traction in an argument against them and their ways. Post Operative, I am just https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XH-bV6g3X8 A "Trying to making the best of a bad situation".

Will I ever let a man make use of the expensive hole in my body? I ran into a man on the elevator the other day and if he tried .....

Suspected Blood Clot in My Leg.

At the Doctor's, she took one look at it and sent me to get blood drawn and an ultrasound of my leg. While getting blood drawn, (I was wearing my slave chain with sequined lock around my neck) The Phlebotomist was really chatty once I shared that I am very afraid of needles. She was keeping me distracted.

When she saw my neck wear, she said, "Oh, you are a princess. You just want someone to take care of you." I did not expect that from her, but she was dead on.

I don't know what they plan to do with my leg.