In my own case, a beloved aunt died during my transition period. I did not attend the funeral out of respect for my aunt's family who did not need the distraction I would present.

A few years later, my father died and I stepped forward as eldest and arranged the funeral, wrote the service and read a poem I had written for Dad, all as "Wanda" (not the name I use in real life). But I had the support of my sibs, my mother, several cousins and the deacon of our church who was my Dad's good friend.

Our situations are too different for me to advise. I'm not very confrontational and I suppose if I had someone I trusted to represent my interests, I would send that person and avoid the conflict.

I'm so sorry I can't be more help, Cathy, because I know the pain this sort of thing causes. I cried for days when my aunt died and I'm teary now thinking about not saying goodbye the way I wanted to.

She never knew about my transition but I'm sure she would have just laughed and invited me to help in the kitchen as her daughters have done. Aunt Em, I miss you.

Good luck, Cathy, whatever you decide to do. ;>

{{{;>
Wanda

I actually tried to begin living as a man for my children a ways into my transition and in a couple days, I felt so crushed that...well I could not keep it up. As a concession, perhaps you could dress a little butch. :)

If you recall, I would not wear pants at all for the first 3 years. I'd rather have sucked a maggot up my nose.

Many transwomen wear pants a lot, so if you're wearing pants and a cotton shirt, other than shoes and a little makeup, what do they have to bitch about? At this point, they may bitch even if you cut your head off. I am not at all sure that you could please them other than get on your hands and knees and beg forgiveness.

Of course, I did that and ain't seen hide ner hair of em yet.

In the final analysis, it is up to you babe..

Gwendolyn

If you go dressed as a man, will they behave? Or will they treat you badly all the same?

in the fact your doing RLT.Rlt is to see if your capable of living as a woman full time 24/7.That means thru the good, the bad, and the ugly.Your sisters have no right to impose their personal will on you and in turn you need to see if your capable of dealing with all the situations you find yourself in from the female perspective.Dress accordingly and good luck.Amy

Difficult, very difficult.

A friend of mine had a blazing row with his brother, and before they could make up, his brother had a heart attack and died. The friend says he still stands by every word he said, but will forever regret not making up.

For what it's worth, I'd say choose the action that leads to fewest regrets. I can't even begin to suggest which course is right for you, but don't take on a load of guilt that will weigh you down for years.

This is your Real Life Test, Cathy. And, need I point out that this is real life?

You make it through this, and you should be able to make it through anything.

Hang in there, Girl. We're rooting for you!

I agree with most here when I say, be yourself.

The one thing that comes to mind with this is if you go in as your old self, that gives them even more ammo to throw at you. Even though they do not support you and your quest to be yourself, they may not hesitate to point out the fact that you are not sticking to your true self.

My experience with people like this is that, regardless of what they claim is the reason for not supporting you, they will use anything and everything to prove that you are wrong and they are right. If you give in to their prejudices and go as your old self, they may interpret that to mean that you are not serious in your quest. That very thing happened to me in somewhat similar circumstances.

Stephanie