Downton Abbey has always seemed far too stern and tacturn for me. I've seen little snippets of it but always backed away to avoid the painful seriousness. For reasons unclear to me, I felt drawn to it yesterday, and rented the first episode of it, and am watching it in little bits.

I can't work out why or if the people were actually that inhuman to each other.

I admit that if it were possible, my closet would be full of women's clothing of that period, especially that of the servants. And, if I am not on my bike, I mostly wear long sleeve, high collar, very long skirts and dresses. Pants are for the bike and I dislike them intensely. This time of the year, in Oregon, there is no bike because of my physical frailty. COPD is a huge bitch right now.

The 17th is the 15th anniversary of the collapse of my life. How does one go from highly regarded and looked to for direction to complete failure, absolutely rejected and suicidal in a single day? I can tell you. Feeling numb and shaky just now, but hopefully I will ride this through as I have 14 times before.

Best to you all.

Gwen