Hello and once again I have failed.
Well not failed as such but things have, once more, not exactly run to plan!
The kitchen makeover is finished - or not. Well i'm partially moved back in but they need to come to fit a shelf for my stove and I want to fill some potential mouse holes and fix some poor workmanship before completing phase one. I've waited so long for it, all this year I've been preparing stuff for it and now, well rather than complain (the kitchen is my landlords responsibility and done at no cost to me) and wait even longer its easier to just fix these last bits myself. Seriously though, some of the workmen just have no pride in their work.
So anyhow, the Trixie story has moved along but isn't quite there yet, the Gaby chapters have stalled through lack of time too. With any luck you will see something this weekend.
There is a new Gaby chapter, Downtime, today.
The other exciting news, well after I sort out a bit of time management, is that I hope to be able to get new stuff onto Maddybell.com in the very near future. It was never my intention for it to lay dormant like it has for so long, there was supposed to be a more modern CSS version replacing the old one but the person doing it pulled out literally days before it was due to go live. In the meantime I also had computer and access issues, both of which I think are now bottomed (cheers Piper) so there will be updates very soon, all the extra stuff (picture galleries etc) will get updated and new scribbles will get posted.
Btw, the computer stuff at the weekend - well my bro had uploaded the Office package he bought but hadn't actually commissioned it so when I came to do stuff I then had to register everything and sort out the settings before I could even copy and paste a document! Is it any wonder I can't get anything done?
And I haven't forgotten about the editing thing, I've just been too distracted with other stuff to sort things out, I will get it organised as soon as I can grab a few undistracted minutes.
I'm also feeling a bit down this week, its 364 days since my mom passed, I thought I'd come to terms with it and having a new addition to the family has certainly helped but this week - well even going for a good couple of bike rides has failed to lift my melancholy. They say time heals, that may be true up to a point but I still find myself thinking 'I must tell mum about....' - yep, she'd love Nathan, she'd enjoy my riding efforts, she'd sort out my curtains (okay, I'll admit I'm a klutz with some stuff) but most of all she was just there. I look for her when we go shopping, when we go out to eat, every time I visit my parents place. Think we'll go visit where we scattered her ashes at the weekend, have a weepy and hopefully move on again.
And on that note I'll say au revoir,
Mads
Comments
Dealing with loss
The 17th will be the 8th anniversary of my wife's graduation. She knew she was dying but her faith helped her face it with a smile and I had no choice but to do the same. She had been bed ridden for 9 years (MS & broken back) and I was her caregiver. As she deteriorated and was less able to even feed herself and slept a lot, she insisted she was busy studying for her final exam and that had every intention of passing it. Pass it she did, on the day she passed from this life to the next. Two days before she told me she'd be waiting for me in heaven but that I should take my time. That gives me peace and comfort.
Attending church and being religious is not a necessity to believing. God can see your heart and knows if you're good. Trust that you'll see your mom again.
Hope this helps ease the loss.
Boys will be girls... if they're lucky!
Jennifer Sue
sorry for your loss
I'm too dealing with a loss. Jan 11 of this year I loss my soul mate of 42 years my wife pass away after a long illness. we had have her ashes here at home I'm going be done the same way. I told the family that I want them to mix us together so be with one and another. forgot to add her birthday was Jan 8 . Everyday I'm looking to see if coming into our bedroom. know it's going to a while for me to relizea that she not coming back. my wife had kidney problems a heart problem and lung problems . she was in so much pain at the end that I think it was better for her to pass on.
Loss
People will say that you will get over or past lost and they are mistaken. What really happens is you learn to live with loss and eventually how to keep it in your mind but not in the front of your brain blocking everything out. You will always have those conversations with your loved one regardless whether they've gone up or down. You will always feel sorrow on birthdays or holidays, but over time you will learn to deal with the pain.
You never forget. You just adjust.
Yes
This message is so totally true and the ones that think there is time limit for grief or you get over just haven't had to deal with it. It was two years ago in January that I lost my wife to a form of bone marrow cancer and some days go along fine and others can be sad. I was an odd day today, I had to take the cat to the vet for a minor procedure but they get to it until quite late and called to say he would have to stay overnight. The house was empty around me and it caused a sadness deeper than I had known in months and I cried.