f you guys don't mind, I wanna talk about dysphoria for a bit.

Now, it's not a subject I tackle often, partially because I'm not sure how to convey the feeling to someone who has never had it, and partially because I'm not an expert on the subject in any sense other than my own experiences.

That said, as I had a really bad day with dysphoria yesterday, it is worth attempting to give some ideas on it.

My dysphoria tends to come in cycles. Not surprising, since everything else in my life seems to come in cycles too.
Sometimes, it's only a mild irritation.

Other times, like yesterday, it's bad enough for me to spend time curled up in a ball crying.

It's also not equally strong about all parts of my body.

The fact I have hairy arms and hands is only mildly annoying.

On the other hand, the bits between my legs bother me enough that I have had fantasies of "accidentally" damaging them enough that they would HAVE to be removed.

This is especially true whenever I have experienced physical arousal. As far as I know, for most guys having an erection is pleasant, or at best somewhat embarrassing depending on the situation it happens in.

But for me, its painful, and often triggers both dysphoria and my PTSD at the same time.

Oh well. I survived yesterday, so that's something ...