Dear Friends:
Are you tired of experiencing anxiety, sleeplessness, loss of purpose and other horrible withdrawal symptoms whenever the gremlins take over the Big Closet Topshelf server? Have you suffered the embarrassment of getting caught sneaking off to other, inferior story sites? (And believe me, you were seen. That scarf and wig and big sunglasses fooled no one!). I have good news! For only $59.95, Juice For Sarah Enterprises is now offering salvation- The BCTS Seperation Survival Kit! This Windows compatible disk features a delux mock-up of the Big Closet front page (complete with seasonal kitty-inna-hatbox of your choice!), on which imitation stories---clever composites by names resembling those of all the most beloved authors in transgender fiction---will be posted every one and a half hours, as well as blogs ranging from the silly to the life-changingly profound! This program also features a random comment generator, which will make you feel like you're right there, in a meeting of the minds devoted to probing the intricacies of the these captivating tales (flaming feature slightly extra). In short, this little lifesaver provides everything you need to weather those awful
hours of UNABLE TO CONNECT. Buy yours today! Because those gremlins could hit at any moment...