Trigger warning - I'm gonna talk about sexual abuse for a moment. Those gentle souls who may be triggered are advised to read this with caution, or maybe just skip this one.

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Okay, everybody, take a deep breath ...

Ready?'

Some time ago, I came across an interesting case of sexual abuse. What made it interesting was how the abuser treated his victim pretty much like a girlfriend - he took them places, he bought them gifts, he listened to them bitch about family and school, in short, it might have seemed like a normal relationship if it wasnt for the fact he was in his late 40's and the kid was in his early teens.

Its called "grooming", and a lot of people were apparently shocked that this technique is used, and had trouble believing that a boy would be susceptible to this kind of thing. But it happens, and more often than most people would expect.

The reason why I bring this up is that my sister in law believes that my abuse followed this pattern - that it was less a case of prison-style rape and more a distorted relationship.

And I am not sure she's wrong - my memories of the events are ... unreliable to put it mildly. I believe he gave me something to help me relax and be more compliant, and I believe my gender issues played a role in my abuse, but beyond that, I cant be sure of much.

But I am also not sure it matters greatly. It was still a violation of his position, of my trust, and of my innocence.

And I am trying my best to put it behind me.

I had a major breakthrough recently where i was able to forgive him, and I believe that will prove to be a big step forward in my recovery.

Doesn't mean this isnt gonna be tough, or that I wont hurt over it anymore ...

Ah, well.