Not that I think I am any different from many of the rest of the girls here, but the very realization that I have become a far different person than I was is such a pleasant surprise. IMHO, I am probably the ultimate girly girl or try to be. I'd be the girl wearing a frothy mountain of lace to a prom dance. I'd love to be carried to my car if the puddles were too yucky. I'll always be a bottom girl and yes, I very much do want to meet a suitably galant man, who would cuddle and spoil me.
I do have to say that I thought Christina's spanking the other day was just so romantic! It had me wiggling in my chair and giggling with glee. Along with many of the rest of you, I have survived some really abominable things but one thing that has left me for sure is my hatred of men. A few months ago I had a BF who was really wonderful to me and it pretty much cured my phobia of them. It took a while for me to warm up to him but the relationship was really healing for me. It is not so much that I wanted him to rod me out but I just appreciated the intimacy, gentleness and his insistence that I leave the doors alone.
For some strange Freudian reason, I want to be dominated by a very nice man. I have talked to numbers of T folk who do not plan to mess with men but for me that matter is resolved. Though if you look at my blogs just a few months back, you can see that I really struggled for a while.
So, sisters, I just may be about the kinkiest, most submissive and want to be the most feminine girl on the planet. If you see any safe and dependable males running around looking for someone like that..... Maybe a T male would find me interesting????
Bad girl
Gwenellen
Comments
oh dear me
I practically fell off my chair laughing as I read this... 'rod me out'.. say what you're feeling eh Gwen.
Ok. No problem no argument... well I'm in no position for anyone to 'rod me out' except maybe in the boy sense and to be honest it's not something I think about all that much. But parts of this do ring true in my own experience. Everyone is a little different of course but I think there is a small submissive streak in any guy that more than passingly thinks of 'himself' in the feminine. May not be, ah, dominant, but it is there. Is it a feminine thing? I honestly don't know. Maybe a surrender to who you are holdover in some way. Maybe it's a bit of role playing to fit in. Stuffed if I know.
I do not consider myself especially girly and do many things that might be thought masculine, but... I recently was gently nudged into a dinner party date with a guy as partner. We both have history and know the bare bones of each others, so no surprises of a dramatic nature. It was a nice night. No, sex was not at issue... down the track, who knows.
I guess I think of the person first and as a 'crossing the border type' I'm in no position to get high and mighty about stereotypes. So, a guy, a girl... companionship, friendship first and then... maybe. 'I like you', must work both ways before anything else I think... after that... well... that probably won't get told here.
So tell it like you feel it Gwen and if I laugh... it's in wry acknowledgment of possible truth, never at you.
Kristina
I'm Sorry
Dear Gwenellen,
That rodding out sounds like something my drains need. Please excuse my dirty-minded sniggers. Whatever turns you on! Go for it,
Love,
Joanne
Discovery of our true self
One thing I have observed as I grew up and knowing that my preferences were not masculine choices. I was raised to be an aggressive boy. I also knew that those around me were non-supportive, causing a thing that did become part of my life, depression. I was unable to tell any one how I really felt. I was not aware that the singals I was sending out were those of being feminine. I was the target of many boys who used me to prove their agressive manly ways.
Up until a year ago I was ashamed of who I was. By then I had other brains disorders from various traumatic experiences through out my life, one which was being raped.
Men to me are simply little boys who want their toys now.
I have decided abstinence is far better than abuse by a man. I have maintained that abstinence for almost two decades.
I was so with drawn from people that for the past six months I was in one of the worst depressions in my life. I am slowly getting my life back as I write this. the difference now is that I have began again to intermix with people. My circle of friends is mostly other women. those males who are in my circle of friends are constantly monitored and never do I let myself be alone in the same room with them.
Am I paranoid, not at all. I've just begun to learn how to live and enjoy. I have a travelling companion with who I spend my weekends with discovering new things about the area in which I live. I have a confidant with who I can speak about the most intimate things a girl can discuss with another girl. I have a support group that is there when I need them. One of the best things that has happened to me is I found a church that is accepting of all, their requirement, have a desire to worship God.
I am not a girly girl, but very seldom do I wear slacks. I have a wardrobe that befits any woman my age.
I'll begin adding stories again. I was not able to write beyond a sentence or two and maintain concentration. That may sound a bit unusual, considering some writers do get writers block. I, however have a brain disease (actually, multiple chemical imbalances) I take medications.
In 2006 I began to learn how to stand up for me. I wrote a plan out on how to get from being depressed to just being. Later that year I purged my closets for the last time. The masculine clothing that I had was given to the charity boxes in the city which I live. I now am very comfortable in my own skin and I am very comfortable where I stand as a Christian. I am obtaining a peace that I have never had.
Jill Micayla
May you have a wonderful today and a better tomorrow
Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.
Hang in there girl
My Blog was meant to get people to giggle a little. See what a poetess I am?
Most of us have some demons. I know I do. For now, they do not seem to be troubling me. I have spent three decades in therapy and I finally feel like progress is being made. A couple years ago, I started a Dialectical Behaviour Therapy Program, and I think it has helped me more than anything. I was taking so many drugs that I would often see "over medicated" on my chart. I'm taking less now, but it is not something I would recomend with out the complete cooperation of my Doc. I lived in a chemical haze for so long that my emotions are truely scary sometimes now.
For me, I decided that if the perps that had me can keep my life fucked up, then they have won. So, while I still get some flash backs and disassociate once in a while, I've begun to fight for my life once again.
Yes, there was a time when all I wanted to do was hide in my room, but for the time being, I feel better. I hope that all who read this will feel a little encouraged to go rip a hunk of life off for themselves too.
Gwenellen