Sex in Stories

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Elsie “You bin following Leeanna19’s BC blog on sex in stories, Lil?”

Lil “Don’t know that I’d go so far as to say I was following it, but I’ve read what’s there or I have up to this morning. Why?”

Elsie “What’s your take on it?”

Lil “I suppose the answer is my take on it is literal, and before your dirty mind makes you say it that’s literal without a c. For me the operative word is take here. Any and all stories whether they contain sex or not, whether it’s on a web site or a book from the library makes no odds, have to repay the time I take to read them. At my age life’s precious and there’s too little left to waste any of it. I start reading and all the way through I’m making a conscious decision whether to keep reading or abandon it. I don’t care how much of it I’ve read, I’ll abandon it immediately if I feel it’s not repaying my effort. No doubt I’ve abandoned a few that would have turned out all right if I’d persevered, but that’s life.

Lil “Eric’s reference to bad grammar was interesting. For me a poorly written story has to have a damned good concept for me to bother with it. There are some about but not many. Any of the stuff written by the apologists for their poor grammar and spelling can take BC’s suggestion to lost little robots and google themselves. Surely to God they’ve heard of spell checkers, and Grammarly is advertised everywhere and it’s free. Many of them don’t seem to be able to string a sentence together indicating to me they never read the story through even once after writing it. Result, I just don’t bother. Writing convincing sex scenes is bloody difficult as Morgan Philips pointed out. It’s difficult for talented, careful writers and pointless for the illiterate to even attempt because all they produce is a scatological version of of prose. What’s your view, Elsie?”

Elsie “I suppose it depends on what you write and why you write it. I’ve written some pretty horrific tales of child abuse, but that was because the reader had to know where the character was coming from, their history and how it could have affected them. It was all so objective that it couldn’t be described as kiddie porn, there’s worse to read in the papers, though none of it would have been acceptable to Literotica. I’ve also written some pretty graphic stuff between consenting adults mostly because it was a key ingredient of their relationship. However, I guess in half of my writing sex doesn’t even get a mention in passing. I’ve been criticised for denigrating disadvantaged minorities which wasn’t true, and I’ve been criticised for putting warnings on stuff I was told didn’t need it. I take the same view concerning criticism that HM Lizzie [Queen Elizabeth II] does, ‘Don’t complain and don’t explain’

Elsie “I guess it’s the also Russian attitude to serious world criticism. Say nothing, let the shit fall where it may and be grateful for the large umbrella you providently took out with you. Eventually it will all go away because some Hollywood slapper who feels she hasn’t had enough media coverage recently will have a curiously convenient wardrobe malfunction or a politician will be discovered naked in bed with a bus load of undressed little girls and boys. At which point the media will just not be interested that you invaded the Ukraine any more. Who remembers Prague Spring or Tiananmen Square any more? The fact is they were out of the media in a matter of weeks after the events. Even the insurrection of January the sixth on the Capitol Building, and Trump himself too, will eventually become matters no one remembers or gives a damn about any more. It’s like all the famines, the public get disaster fatigue pretty quickly and to sell advertising space the media have to respond by writing about something else.”

Lil “I guess you’re right, and it’s all just a reflection of public taste and behaviour, whether it’s graphic, restrained or even absent. You can’t please everyone ever, so someone is bound to have a go at you. I liked Littleone’s idea of skipping over the top of the boring bits. I’m a complete philistine when it comes to poetry, so as soon as I hit some verse I skip it, if that means I loose the thread of the tale I abandon it. Next story please. I would have liked to hear Bev Taff’s take on the issue though, she usually has something interesting and sensible to say on stuff that’s getting others wound up. Her long and thoughtful comment on what constituted womanhood that she appended to Eolwaen’s piece entitled 'Womanhood' was probably the most intelligent and considerate contribution to the issue I have ever read. Changing the subject, you bin getting any recently?”

Elsie “I’m getting enough for a woman of my age, and I’m not going to be telling you any more. You’re more of a gossip than I’ve ever been, Lil.”

Lil “ I know. Fun isn’t it? So I guess you’re still sleeping with your toy boy at week ends then?”

Elsie “Peter is seventy-five I’ll have you know!”

Lil “Like I said a toy boy!”

Elsie “What about you?”

Lil “Well when I was a man I was never too sure what all the fuss was about. Sex was a pleasant enough experience, but it required an awful lot effort for what was usually a pitiful reward, and it played havoc with what was going on in my head which always took at least a fortnight to resolve. When I became a woman, it was a lot better and I had no mental issues to deal with afterwards, but again initially it was nothing I couldn’t have done without. Eventually it kind of grew on me even enough for me to initiate it from time to time, but that took ten years, and it’s never been the same since Michael died, so it’s rare I even bother trying these days. I guess I’m an incurable romantic. Back to your first question I personally prefer to read soft romance, Mills and Boon type of stuff.

Lil “The harder stuff tends to get repetitive and boring at which point it is time to try reading something else. For me folk can write what they want. I certainly don’t want to censor anything, but no more do I wish to feel obliged to finish reading anything that has degenerated into rubbish that is leaching my life away. I suppose it’s all self regulating in the end. If you write stuff folk want to read they’ll read it. If you write stuff they’re not interested they won’t. Tell you something that’s amused me for a long time. I assume that if a story has had say a thousand hits that means that a thousand folk have opened the story, and it tells you nothing about how many folk actually read it. Maybe I’m wrong, but I’ve never regarded the number of hits on any of my stories to mean any more than that.”

Elsie “Here, Lil, read this. It’s a love story with not a drop of sex in it anywhere. It’s right up your street. I wrote it last week. I’ll not shew you what I’m working on at the moment because it’s a pretty hardcore piece about a protagonist who makes Christian Trevelyan Grey look like a Virginal Methodist Sunday School teacher by comparison. I’ll put the kettle on, and you can tell me all about the adult silverback I saw you chatting up in the baker’s shop when I get back.”

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Comments

I got a mention!

Not to make it all about me... But does that mean I'm BC-famous now?
I wasn't sure what this was going to be when I opened it, I thought you'd found a way to break the website and post a reply comment as a story by accident.
It's different, very entertaining.
I can imagine the two halves of this conversation from an angel and demon riding my shoulders.

Anno domini

Having just read Leaanna 19's blog about sex in stories I read the ensuing comments and thought that Iolanthe Portman's comment very much reflected my own.

When I first started posting material, way, way back, I was still carrying sexuality baggage based upon an emotionally crippled childhood. Sexually speaking, I was truly all over the place as I think, my story entitled 'Snake' on Fiction-mania would almost certainly illustrate. Looking back at it now, I read between the lines and sometimes glimpse the tormented ignoramous who dreamt up such a bizarre story. Sometimes I look at it and feel so ashamed that I should rip it down but then I remember in what sort of frightful place I was during those dark days and leave it there just to remind myself.

What's worse, I can remember lying in my cell at Walton at aged about seven or eight I suppose, and imagining my self to be a wooden saddleback pig being assaulted and broken like a child's doll or toy after one of the older boys had described me as a little piggy. (Yeah! What does that do to a kid?) But I digress.

What amounted to sex in my head during my teens and twenties, would never ever enter my mind these days; or if it did it would probably frighten me and sicken me. I therefore wonder how much a writer's libido and immaturity affects his or her writing and does this then influence his or her readership. Today, my writing tends to concern the societal issues surrounding the persecution and bullying of not just the LGBT community but other vulnerable minorities as well.

This tends to induce a somewhat moralistic perspective to my latter-day material.

"When I go back and risk glancing at my stuff on fiction-mania I am truly disturbed by what I read and I have to stop and realise that 'Did I really write that!!???'

I suppose it's an easy escape to say that if sex adds to the story's impact or value then yes, go ahead and include it, but the truth is it often does and indeed it is sometimes necessary to give the story weight. After all sex is a huge part of the human condition and therefore often a necessary element to validate most stories based on relationships. The degree of delicacy or enforcement has to be the authors choice and not the censors.
The reader should be the one who censors his own material by not buying it if he dislikes the preamble on the fly-leaf.

Should there be censorship limits I ask myself.

Possibly; - probably even; but I for one would not like to be the one who sets them. History can judge harshly. Society moves on and yesterdays profanity is todays most used interlocuter.

One important factor is undoubtedly open to discussion.

My childhood imaginings have long ago been put to bed and never reappear unless they are called upon by the conversation, as this article has done. Even then it is purely as a topical point and not some sort of fantasist aid.
We all move on if we have a healthy mind even if we've had to repair our minds ourselves.

bev_1.jpg

Sex in stories

Julia Miller's picture

I am always writing sex into a romantic story and I don’t think I will ever stop writing sex scenes. I love romance stories and for me sex is the physical act of showing your partner how deeply you are in love with them. Yes a sex scene is difficult to write, but if you can do it successfully, it adds a depth to the story that wouldn’t be there otherwise.
That being said, I don’t enjoy reading stories that are just about sex or abusive or degrading sex. For me sex is an expression of two people who love for each other and I am not interested if there is no love in the act.

"Surely to [Gaia] they’ve heard of spell checkers, & Grammarly

My saying "Gaia" - shoot me, I'm atheist - no wait! - there's places where they do that. Literally.
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Yeah. There is no way to distinguish 'opening' (the Reads count) and 'finishing' (did not abandon) counts.

Oh, and my instantly abandoning a story based on the description alone - it's a read hit, even if I don't put even the first 'story word' on my screen.

And yes, I'm starting to abandon stories for any number of reasons ...

Anybody touching a keyboard here, >should< have noticed that BCTS has a built-in spell checker. And they are >using< it.

Spell checkers can't save us from using a completely wing-wring-Wong-elephant-rung word. Nor save us from homophones, such as the "'trios of dread": to-too-two, or there-they're-their.

Those using speech-to-text, well, they >gotta< proof-read their stuff. Proof-read anyways. Of course.

Those writers whose first language is not English - please let us know.
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I think Grammarly eventually demands their 'pound of ink'.

M-$$$-S Word has a far weaker grammar checker (but a good spell checker) - but it is >Free< as LibreOffice from PortableApps.com. (Install the menu system first, then install apps from the menu. You're welcome.)
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And we can always ask for help. Be careful about asking for 'just' a Proof-reader, or for an Editor (or just a general Beta-reader).

Proof-readers will say "The word you want is 'wrong', not 'elephant'".

Editors will say "Why does the killer use a knife in act 2, and the prosecution presents a gun as evidence in act 3?"

And Beta-readers might say "uhm, just why did the killer 'go off the rails' and start killing - just makes no sense?".
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And please, never the dreaded "wall of text":
LearnHowToPutInBlankLines.

Oh yeah ... sex in stories.

By now, we should know of the 'mechanics' of most of the permutations, and readers and writers can skip directly from "in bed..." to "in the afterglow" and take up the plot. "Mechanics" and porn are as close as y/our next Google search.

Thanks!

PS 1 & 2 & 3.

PS 1: No matter how much you love your story ... go have a good night's sleep. Proof-read/review one more time, tomorrow morning. Then Post.

PS 2: Then, after Posting. Re-read, proof-read it. Again. You're gonna find >something<. BCTS allows edits-in-place. Just so long as the fixes are small enough, so as to not confuse any re-readers.

PS 3: Upon read-after-post of my comment above... Yeah. Had to put in a dropped 'not'. In the >2nd< paragraph.