July 4, 2023

Sherry crept up to her house, she was off work early and wanted to surprise her son. Her boss didn’t close early very often, so he wouldn’t be expecting her, and she was bringing home some take out. When she opened the door, she saw a girl in a blue chiffon dress go streaking up the stairs. “My son has a girl over? He’s not allowed to have anyone over while he’s home alone, much less a girl!” she thought.

“Brandon! Get your butt down here right now, and bring your friend with you. You are in big trouble mister,” she said, not realizing just how prophetic those words would be.

She heard some very tentative footsteps on the stairs and the girl started walking down; with her head down so far, Sherry could hardly see her face. The girl looked to be about 13 like her son, with long blonde hair. When she reached the bottom, she looked up and softly mumbled something.

“Who are yo… Brandon?”

“Hi Mom.”

“Wha… You-you are… Why… Y-you’re in a dress?” she stammered.

“This is me, Mom. I didn’t expect you home yet, but I guess my secret is out. I’m a girl, Mom. My name is Sylvia now.”

Sherry stumbled over to the couch and collapsed. “Am I dreaming? If so, I need to wake up from this nightmare.”

“Mom, I’ve known for a while now that I’m really a girl. I’ve always felt wrong, I’ve always wished I had been born a girl, but I know now that I am a girl, I was just born in the wrong body.”

“Stop it! You are not a girl, you are my son!

“Mom,” he said as he sat down on the couch while smoothing his dress under him, “I am a girl, I was born a girl.”

“Brandon!” she said a bit hysterically, “You are just confused, all of this woke propaganda has confused you. There are only two sexes, and you are a boy.”

“Mom…”

“Don’t ‘Mom’ me young man! I don’t care what you want to pretend to be, in my house you will not do that! I will not have my son prancing around like some kind of sissy! You are my son, and you will always be my son. Now go to your room and get your ass dressed like a normal person. And you better bring those… things… to me, they are going in the trash!”

Brandon turned away and trudged up the stairs. “Is this the Twilight Zone or something? I can’t believe it. My son is trying to tell me he is really a girl! Admittedly, he’s a just a little guy, but then puberty hasn’t started yet. Maybe he’ll be like his dad; he didn’t start growing until he was in high school. I should probably make him cut his hair, that long blonde hair could have him being called a girl at school, which could cause this delusion. I'm glad I came home early tonight, I have to nip this shit in the bud. I need a drink!” she thought, anxiously.

Sherry poured herself a brandy and sat down at the kitchen table. “I don’t know where I went wrong, should I have remarried after his father left us? Did he need a male influence in his life? It has been just the two of us since he was three.”

“Mom, I’m sorry, I won’t do it again,” Brandon tried out in his room. “Aarrgh, I can’t say that, I’m not sorry! This is me, I’m not some hairy muscle-bound moron scratching my butt and farting while I watch football. But now, when I change out of my clothes like usual, I can't keep them.”

Brandon came back down the stairs after a bit, handing Sherry the dress. Without a word, he just turned to go back back upstairs, walking very slowly.

“Brandon, I don’t know what to think about what just happened. I need some time, but you must realize that I can’t just let this go, I will talk with you in the morning about this. For now, let’s just let this go and we can have some dinner, I brought home some of your favorite Chinese take-out .”

“I’m not hungry,” he said sullenly, heading back upstairs.

“You come back here this instant, we are not going to waste this food.”

With a huge sigh, Brandon turned back around and sat down as Sherry set out some food. He picked at it a bit, eating a little before he asked to be excused and went to his room. Sherry went out and threw the dress in the trash, done with it.

In the morning, when she went to wake him up, she noticed that his eyes were red as if he had not slept. She told him he was grounded for the next two months and had better be on his best behavior, but that this would be the last time that she would bring this up if it never happened again.

August 11, 2023

“Brandon, get down here please.”

“Yes, Mom?”

“It’s a little bit early, but you have been very well behaved, so you can end your grounding today. Your friends called just now, wanting to know if you are still grounded, so I told them you can go with them to the movies. Go get dressed in something nice and buy your friends some dinner before the movie, here’s my card. I love you son. I know it has been hard on him these past 6 weeks or so, but it is for his own good. I can’t let him ruin his life with this cross-dressing crap.”

“Finally. I wish I could go out as myself, but I haven’t even been able to come out to my best friends yet. I’m terrified that they would react just like my Mom, and I don’t think I could take that from them too. I’ll probably have to wait until I graduate high school, but that is still so very far away. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to wait that long,” thought Brandon.

“Brandon, your friends are here,” Sherry yelled up the stairs to him. “Have a good time, be home by 11.”

“OK, Mom,” he replied, going out to meet his friends. Jason’s Mom was waiting outside in her car, along with Jason, Terry and Robert.

“Oh, man, it’s good to see you Bran, I was beginning to think those two months were going to last forever!” said Robert, “I hope you appreciate that we waited for you to see the new ‘Mission Impossible’.”

While he appreciated that, the movie he really wanted to see was “Barbie”. He just didn’t think the guys would want to see that, and was afraid of what they might think of him to even ask. “This is getting on my nerves. As long as I can remember, I’ve wished I had been born a girl, but in the last six months or so that I’ve realized I am a girl on the inside, that this boy facade is what is pretend.”

“Thanks, man, I appreciate that. You guys are great friends.” I wonder….

September 1, 2023

“Mom, I’m home.”

“In here, son, I’m in the kitchen,” Sherry said, “It’s been three weeks since I let Brandon off his grounding, and I don’t think he has laughed or even smiled since then. Was I too harsh? I even think I’ve heard him cry sometimes at night, but I don’t want to embarrass him by saying anything. He’ll get over it in time, he would really be embarrassed if anyone else found out about the incident. He’s a big boy, after all.”

Brandon trudged into the kitchen and sat down, a somewhat sullen expression on his face. His usually fine features seemed a little hollow and his face was kind of pale, with shadows around his eyes.

“Brandon, have you lost weight?”

“I don’t know, maybe, I just haven’t had much of an appetite.”

“Son, I’m worried about you. You haven’t been spending much time with your friends, so I called Terry up and he said there is a pool party at Jason’s this afternoon. I know Jason will be there, along with his twin sister Ellen. You should have fun there, go get your bathing trunks. But first, I made your favorite meal, a French Dip sandwich and French Fries. They will be here in a half hour.”

"Grand, now I have to go pretend to have a good time, I know about the party; I just didn't want to go as I can’t let anyone see how I feel. This is really getting me down, nothing seems to be worth it. I couldn't afford to let Mom see that I saved my dress, so I hid all of my girl clothes in that shed that they never use in a suitcase mixed in with their suitcases. Maybe I can sneak off and wear something for a bit."

“Brandon, let’s go! Quit dawdling up there, your friends are expecting you.”

Brandon meandered down the stairway and went straight out the door to the car. Sherry followed, saying, “I don’t think you are going to get very far without me.” Brandon said goodbye once they were there and Sherry said she would be back in 4 hours.

“Brandon! Glad you made it, it wouldn’t have been much of a party without you,” said Jason.

“Hi Brandon,” said his sister Ellen, “I’ve something to show you upstairs, please come with me.”

Once in her room, Ellen shut the door and locked it reaching under her bed. She pulled out the suitcase that he had hidden and said, “Brandon, do you know anything about this?”

“It looks like one of your suitcases.”

“Well, it looks just like mine, but this one is mine,” she said, pulling out an identical suitcase from under her bed. “I was getting ready to go to my aunt’s next weekend, and when I opened it up.... Do you want to guess what I found?”

“Not really.”

“It is full of girl’s clothing, but mixed in there is a pair of gym shorts with your name on them. Care to tell me how your shorts ended up in this suitcase full of girl’s clothing?”

“Err… You see… I’m…” he stammered, staring at his shoes, “I don’t know?”

Ellen went and sat by Brandon, put her hand on his chin and pulled his face up to look at her. “Brandon, I think these are your clothes. I’ve seen how you look at girls at school, and it seems like you are just looking at their clothes and how they carry themselves. You don’t look at me or the other girls like the other boys do, you are respectful and seem to just be watching us. Am I wrong?”

Brandon blushed and said, “You’re not…” trailing off into mumbles.

“A little louder?”

“You’re not wrong, I like how the girls look in their clothes.”

“And if I’m not wrong, you wish you could look like that.”

Brandon blushed even redder and looked back down again.

“Brandon? It’s OK if you do,” she said, taking his chin again, “you wouldn’t be the first person at school to identify as transgender. I’m still your friend either way, but I think you need someone to confide in.”

“Call me Sylvia? But please, don’t do that around anyone else, I couldn’t take it if they reacted like my Mom did.”

“Only if we girls can hang out together tomorrow, come over in the morning and we can go for a walk through the woods. You can get changed here, no one will be here except my Dad and he will be working in his office all morning and afternoon on his book. When he is writing, he squirrels away in there for hours,” she replied, “now come on, let's join the others for the pool party. I’m sorry you have to wear those ugly swim trunks, but I didn’t see a swim suit in your suitcase, Sylvia.”

September 2, 2023

“Mom, I’m going over to Jason’s, Ellen is going to help me with my History homework.”

“OK Brandon, I’m glad you are going over to a friend’s house. Have a good time.”

Brandon knocked on the door, and Ellen opened the door after a few moments. “Sylvia, how are you, girl? Ready to have some girl time?”

Blushing, Brandon said, “Are you sure no one is here other than your Dad?”

“Absolutely! Now come on, it is time to get ready!” she said, and grabbed his hand to drag him upstairs.

“Now, go take a shower and wash your hair with the shampoo in there. I left an outfit in there for you, when you come out I’ll help you get ready. Go on, scoot!”

When it came time for Brandon to come out of the bathroom, it was Sylvia who came out instead, dressed in a flowered peasant skirt with a pale pink blouse. Ellen sat her down, blow dried and styled her hair, and then did a little makeup with a spray of perfume. Sylvia looked in the mirror when Ellen was done and saw a cute, barely teen-aged girl looking back at her.

“Is that really me? Oh my god, I look wonderful,” she squeaked, “thank you so very much!”

“Girl, get some shoes on, it is time to go for a hike! You have some cute pink sneakers in your suitcase, perfect for taking a walk.”

After spending a couple of hours in the woods just talking and having Sylvia learn how to talk and act more like a girl, the girls came back for lunch. Ellen led Sylvia into the kitchen, and they started making some sandwiches. They were just about done when a voice came from the doorway, “Ellen, who is your friend? I don’t think I’ve met her before.”

Sylvia jumped a foot or two in the air. “Eeep, you scared me! Ellen said you would be locked in your study all day!”

“I’m struggling with a chapter, so I thought I would get something to eat.”

“Here Daddy, you can have my sandwich, I’ll make another for myself. Want some mustard on it?”

“Thank you Pumpkin, that would be wonderful. What are you girls up to today?”

“Sylvia and I went for a walk in the woods, and now I think we are going to watch some TV.”

“If you wish, you could take the bus to the mall and watch a movie, I know you haven’t seen ‘Barbie’ yet. What about you, Sylvia?”

“I would love that sir, I haven’t seen it yet either, and I really have wanted to. Thank you very much for the offer.”

“So polite, you could learn from her Ellen.”

Ellen stuck out her tongue at her Dad, saying, “I’m polite! Well, most of the time… all right, sometimes I am.”

“Here kids, here’s some money for both of you, go have fun. Thanks for the sandwich Ellen, I’ll see you when you get back.”

After he left, Sylvia said, “You said he wouldn’t be out here, what if he figures out who I am? I shouldn’t have done this! Ack! How am I supposed to go to a movie like this? People will see me!”

“Relax girl, you look wonderful, no one will know who you are. If we run into anyone at the mall, I’ll tell them you are one of my cousins down to visit.”

After a bit, Ellen finally talked Sylvia into going to the movie, and the boys they met at a cafe after the movie never doubted the story for a moment. Sylvia went home afterwards in boy mode, and would never again refer to or think of herself as Brandon.

October 15, 2023

“No, Brandon, no! I thought we were done with this girl crap, you are not going to dress for Halloween as a girl, I don’t care what you say, No!”

“Mom…”

“I said no, Brandon. And that’s final! Say another word about this and you will be grounded again, maybe until you are 18!” Sherry yelled, stomping out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

“I’m sorry,” whispered Ellen as she gave Sylvia a hug, “I should have never suggested it.”

“Yeah. Me too. I really should have known better, but I would have really enjoyed being Wendy, after all Ellen is going to be Peter Pan. I guess it’s OK for girls to dress up as boys for Halloween, but not for me to be a girl.”

“I’ve got to go home Syl, I’ll see you at school. I’m so sorry,” she said with a sob as she hurried out the door.

October 22, 2023

“Hey Ellen?” Sylvia called up to Ellen’s window.

“What are you doing out there, it is almost 10 o’clock at night! I’m supposed to be settled in to go to bed.”

“I had to ask you a question. Do you still have the Wendy costume?”

“Of course, but your Mom said you couldn’t use that. Why are you asking?”

“There’s a Halloween party this Saturday, and Mom is going to have to work. I’m supposed to go as a pirate, but I don’t want to go like that! Could I come over and change before the party?”

“Walk with me to school tomorrow, and we’ll talk about it, now get yourself back home before your Mom finds out you are gone.”

October 29, 2023

“Ellen, I just can’t. Mom keeps dragging me with her to Church, and I can’t take it any more. The pastor went on and on about how the “woke agenda” is destroying this country and said that it is OK to force people to conform to the Church’s beliefs, that anyone using the LGBT initials was going to hell. I’m just too depressed and worn out to want to go to that party,” Sylvia said through her tears.

“Syl, you know I’m always here for you, and I would never do anything to hurt you, don’t you?” Sylvia just nodded her head. “Well, we watched a bit of the TV show 'I am Jazz' yesterday, and everyone in my family agreed that transgender rights should be supported, and that they would accept anyone who was like Jazz. I couldn’t help myself and when I said I knew someone who is, Jason said, ‘Oh, you mean Sylvia? I saw you talking with her and I figured out that she used to be Brandon after a bit, but I thought when she was ready to tell me, she would. They probably think that Brandon’s gay at school by now, because he talks and walks a bit differently.’ Mom and Dad were a bit surprised, but they had said you reminded them of Brandon before.”

Sylvia just looked at her shoes, and with a very quiet voice said, “I’m glad they accept me this way, why can’t my Mom?” and started to cry. “I’m still not going, even though I want to so much. It would just hurt too much to have to come home and hide again.”

October 31, 2023

“Brandon, what are you doing in bed? Don’t you want to go out with your friends for Halloween? You have that wonderful pirate’s costume, I’ve even got a fake beard and mustache to go with it. You will look all macho!”

“Mom, I don’t feel well, I’m going to stay home.”

“What’s wrong honey, is it your stomach again? You’ve been having trouble with that for a while now, even though the doctor couldn’t find anything wrong. I’m sorry you are going to miss out on a good time. Get some rest.”

Sylvia laid in bed for awhile, then got up and dug in her closet. Buried in the back of the closet, she had a large bottle of Tylenol*, according to the internet if you take enough of them, you can end it all. After looking at it for awhile, she put it back in the closet and got back into bed. "Not tonight."

November 23, 2023

“Brandon, you look so thin, are you eating enough?” asked Aunt Sue while they were alone in the back yard.

“I’ve been having some stomach issues, but the doctor says I’m OK.”

“Well, I brought your favorite sweet potato casserole for Thanksgiving, that should put some meat on your bones.”

“Thanks, Aunt Sue,” said Sylvia, giving Sue a hug.

“Well, that something you haven’t done in a couple of years now. Don’t stop though, I’m glad you did.”

“Aunt Sue, can I ask you a question without you telling my Mom about it?”

“I can’t promise that Brandon, but I will say that I won’t tell her unless I think that she has to know about it, and I will tell you if I am going to do so. Will that do?”

“I guess it will have to. I can’t get this out of my mind. You aren’t religious, yet Mom is, why is that?”

“When we were little girls, your Grandma gave us the choice of whether we wanted to go to Church or not. My friends didn’t go to Church, and neither did most of your Mom’s, but her best friend did, so she would go with her. I never liked Sally; she took after her father, who was a bigot and an alcoholic. But Sally doted on your mother. When your father left, it was Sally who supported your Mom and I came to realize that no matter how radical her ideals were, Sally was good for your Mom. I don’t agree with their extreme far-right beliefs, and I don’t like how it has dragged your Mom into those, but she needed Sally’s support. It just about destroyed your Mom, as you remember, when Sally died three years ago. She depends on that Church now, as she has alienated most of the people she grew up with. I do believe in God, I’m just not fond of organized religion.”

“Aunt Sue, what do you think about LGBT people? I know some kids from school who are gay, and they are very nice people. Yet Mom says that they are sinners and demons and are going to hell.”

“There are some Churches who accept LGBT people and there are some who won’t. I think people should be allowed to be whoever they are, as long as they are not hurting others. Those groups like in her Church believe they have to force people to be just like them. They feel like having LGBT people around would cause their children to be like them, but in reality, their children are exposed to far more “normal” people than they are to LGBT individuals. If having someone around that was different could really cause someone to change, then there wouldn’t be a single LGBT person in the world, as those people are being exposed to more “normal” individuals and that would cause them to become “normal” instead. Does that answer your question, Brandon?” she said, using air quotes every time she said “normal”.

“Yes, Aunt Sue. I have one more question for you, but I’m afraid to ask it.”

“Brandon, no matter what that question is, I want you to know that I will always love you, and I will always accept you, no matter what or who you are. And I can also tell you that, if I am right about that question, I won’t tell your mother about it.”

“Would you call me Sylvia? Just, not around Mom though.”

“Of course Sylvia. Now, let’s get downstairs and help your Mom with the dinner, OK? Oh, but one thing, is there anything Sylvia would want for Christmas?”

“Some make-up? I’ve got a secret spot I could hide it.”

“Of course, you know you are my favorite niece, after all.”

“Aunt Sue, I’m your only niece.”

“Well then, that proves you are the favorite.”

December 7, 2023

“Mom, tell me about Grandpa Bill?”

“I think I’ve told you everything I know about him, he drowned saving some other sailors that had been on the USS Arizona with him. Thanks to him, three sailors made it home to their families from Pearl Harbor. He might have survived himself, but he took too much shrapnel from bombs. They were able to recover his body, and he was entombed with his shipmates aboard the Arizona.”

“I didn’t mean how he died, what kind of man was he?”

“Your great-great… oh, I forget how many greats there are in there… grandma wrote about him for the memorial they have there. He was a quiet man, and a very well-liked man. He was generous and kind, and accepted everyone for who they were, no matter their color, their religion or their politics. I’ve never heard a bad word about him from anyone.”

“I bet Grandpa Bill would have let me be me. I know there wasn’t much acceptance back then, but he sounds like the kind of man that would. Why is my mother so mean? I know she loves me, but if I can’t be me, what point is there in living?”

December 25, 2023

“Oh, Sue, I forgot to tell you, I found one present you had for Brandon under the driver’s seat so I brought it in. He’s opening that one now. What did you get honey?”

Sylvia had already torn the wrapping off, and when she saw the make-up set she flinched, dropping the make-up on the floor right in front of her mother.

“There must be some mis…” started Sue.

“MAKE-UP! You bought my son MAKE-UP?” screamed Sherry, “Why in the world would you buy your nephew MAKE-UP?”

“I’m sorry,” said Sue to Sylvia, “is it OK if I…” Sylvia just nodded and stared at her shoes.

“Sherry, I don’t have a nephew, I have a niece. Now, I kno…”

“YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!” shrieked Sherry, “I don’t have a daughter, I have a son! You and your woke shit isn’t welcome in this house any more, GET OUT! Brandon, get your ass in your room, I will be up there as soon as I calm down. You are grounded for the rest of your life!”

Sylvia trudged up to her room, while Sue tried to reason with Sherry to no avail. Sue had to leave before it got physical, and Sherry sat down on the couch to settle down, falling asleep for a little while.

Sylvia sat on her bed, sobbing uncontrollably. Her Mom had finally pushed her over the edge, she felt that life was not worth living anymore. She went to her closet, took out the bottle of Tylenol* with a water bottle, and methodically swallowed every pill. It wasn’t long before she became lethargic, and soon after that, she started convulsing like she was having a seizure.

Sherry woke up and decided to go talk to her son. When she went in his room, she saw him convulsing on his bed, with foam coming out of his mouth. Screaming, she went to him and saw the empty bottle of Tylenol*. Panicked, she rushed to her purse and used her cellphone to call for help. Once the ambulance came, they were able to stabilize Sylvia for transport to the hospital. Sherry followed in her car.

December 31, 2023

Sherry woke up from her nap in the hospital room where Sylvia was comatose. Even though the hospital had been able to save her life, whether she ever woke up from her coma was unknown. Sherry had been staying there since Sylvia was admitted, except to go home at night.

“Dear God, please save my child. I don’t know why he did this to himself. This woke agenda has poison…”

“No, dear sister, you have poisoned her. You were more interested in what your Church has said than what your child has said. If she dies, you have only yourself to blame,” said Sue as she came into the room. “Your daughter needs you now; if you are going to pray, you need to pray for yourself to abandon your extreme beliefs. You have two choices. You can have a dead son, or you can have a live daughter if she wakes up from this, because if you force her to be something she is not, she will not choose to live.”

Sherry collapsed on the floor, sobbing “No, no, no. I can’t… no, I must! Sue, please tell me what to do.”

Sue told her to pray for forgiveness, and to learn to accept who her child was. Sherry did and then made a New Year’s resolution. “I resolve to change. I will not be the person I was. I want my child to live, I love hi… her. I will embrace this change and help Sylvia to become the child she wishes to be.”

“Mom, where am I?”

*Paracetamol in the UK