Autobiographical

Further blood work

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As I may have mentioned, a lot of blood results came back yesterday and I have questions.

A further blood test appeared today - it seems I have MRSA :( No wonder I was feeling cold!

I do get Staph infections from time to time and they suck the heat out of me, which is one way I recognise them. Oh, well, off to the doctor tomorrow. They won't operate on me unless I can nuke this from orbit.

Penny

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my celling is falling down

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so a couple of days ago, we noticed a crack in the ceiling in our bathroom, that had water leaking out of it.

we called the building maintenance person, and after taking a look he said he'd need to get into the suite above us, and no one there was home, so he planned to try again today.

In the meantime, the crack has turned into a piece of the ceiling barely hanging on by one corner, and the water situation is worse.

Hopefully this get fixed before we have to evacuate the apartment.

hugs appreciated.

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going to be a very busy week next week

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So next week, I'm going to be super busy being the taxi for my aunt, as well as having another attempt at getting a mold for my new dentures.

It means I'm going to have to make sure I squeeze in down time for myself whenever I can, so I may not be around much.

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so yesterday was mostly a flop

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So yesterday I went to the denturist to get a mold for my dentures, and it was mostly a flop.

My gag reflex just refused to cooperate long enough for them to get a good impression on my top teeth, so I am going to have to go back and try again a week from Thursday.

Sighs, I need huggles, anybody got some to spare?

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I am going to need dentures

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so my dentist had to give me the bad news - I am going to need dentures, as my teeth are causing too many issues.

I cant help feeling like a failure. If I could have overcome my tendency to skip on my self care, its possible I could have avoided this.

ah, well.

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had an odd conversation with Sharon

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Well, I just had an odd conversation with Sharon.

She told me that while she cares for me, and always found being with me "fun", she loved me and still loves me like a buddy or a brother, and was never deeply in love with me. She then apologized for not being able to feel deeply in love with me.

I'm not sure what to do with this. I forgave her, but beyond that, I'm kind of stumped.

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Passing in public

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I have not written much recently. This is partly due to being unhappy at work. I just get home, eat go to the local pool to exercise ( my diabetes is getting out of control, so I must exercise.) Then come home watch TV and sleep. Rinse and repeat.

One of the reasons I write is to express my feminine side. I still don't know if I am really trans or not. I grew up wishing I was a girl. I was 3 or 4 when I asked why I was not a girl. When I dress now, there is no sexual thrill, just a sense of relief. When I am "made up" I just feel that I am looking at the real me.

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I have a cousin in the ICU

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So I just got a call from my aunt saying her son is in the ICU after having his heart stop.

He's struggled with mental health and addiction issues for years, but I am still a little surprised.

Anyway hugs and prayers appreciated.

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Many Thanks!!

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This is Amy, Piper’s wife. I just wanted to thank everyone for the donations as well as their patience. As previously stated, the gas bill has been paid off and the new goal of $2400 will cover the rest of what is needed for electric.

I along with Piper, and our Ninja cannot thank y’all enough for the support!

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Anniversaries

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I wrote a blog post on one of my sites this week after some anniversaries happened.

One such was 12 years use of a social media account on 20 March. That led me to check a domain I use, and that is 12 years and a month old. Then I found a photo taken 18 March 2008 during my first transition (I lasted 6 weeks, no support).

18Mar2008_Kingfisher_BlueSkirt.jpg

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More Updates!

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So good news! The Natural Gas bill is paid off in its entirety (or will be once the payments we made have been posted to the account), and not only have we taken a chunk out of the electric bill, but the utility adjusted the bill after we noticed they didn't shut off the service when we requested it!

As such, we have lowered our GoFundMe goal to represent this change.

Because of these changes and some extremely generous donations from BC Members, we are more than halfway over our goal!

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Housing Updates

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We found a house! Well, specifically, we found an apartment!

We were initially denied due to credit, but we were given insight on how to appeal and told it would likely go through.

We are still at the same hotel, and we are working hard to get on payment plans for a few things and pay off our utility bills, some of which we recently found had never been disconnected as we had requested.

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Concerning Depression

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My heart goes out to my fellow trans ladies out there struggling with Depression and thoughts of harm. I have only been 'out' to the world since last Labor Day, having been firmly in the closet since age 7-8. This past holiday season was my worst ever, being shunned by my children and a large part of my relatives.

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I went for a walk this afternoon…….

Caution: 

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My day started out very well. The weather was gorgeous - sunny and warm, with just a light breeze blowing; much nicer than February should be in upstate NY. I actually had a reasonably decent night’s sleep the night before, which has not been a given for me since I was a teen and especially moreso over the past few decades.

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a near miss

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So last night as I was taking Sharon and Sam home, I almost had a collision with another car.

What makes it worse is I'm pretty sure I was at fault.

Now, nobody was hurt, and no damage done, so you could be forgiven for wanting to call that a good thing.

Not me.

I have always struggled with my focus and concentration, and almost all the problems I have had behind the wheel have to do with that, but today was a good reminder than a lapse in either while driving could have serious consequences.

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Those With Vision Challenges

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I woke up this morning with my vision being very bad. I am trying not to panic. I already ordered a large print and braille sign for my apartment door. I am hoping that my upcoming eye surgery helps but am really starting to doubt the doctors.

Any suggestions?

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dreaming of transitioning as a teen?

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Its pretty rare for me to dream of something related to being trans, but it does happen sometimes, and last night was a good example.

in my dream, I somehow got into trouble with a teacher regarding a dress code, which resulted in me being asked to wear a red bra under my shirt, which was white, and anybody could clearly see the bra if they were near me.

Then, one of my classmates asked me to flirt with a boy to distract him from something, and I responded I didn't know how to flirt, but she just told me to try anyway.

Gee, you think this would make a good story?

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Facebook Not Mandatory

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For years when my computer booted, 'Facebook' automatically loaded and I used it quite a lot. Recently the owner of that site has been sued for damaging children and had to testify in one of the US Government houses.

A day or so ago my computer would suddenly load without it and it has been quite enjoyable.''

:)

Gwen

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"All I have left is madness"

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So last night I had a dream.

In the dream I was in a room with three people.

The shortest of the three, who might have been a dwarf, threatened me with a knife, and I knocked it out of their hand.

Then I went to the other two, and said, "You've made a mistake. you took me because you thought I was a good person. But I'm no longer a good person. All I have left is madness. Now, you will let me go, or I'll kill your friend here and eat him, and make you watch."

I woke up before I got an answer.

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