well, yesterday was a scary day. I was helping Sharon do some running around, and suddenly I had no idea which direction we were facing or what avenue was closest.

Sharon helped get me reoriented, so all safe, but its one more sign my brain has serious issues

Well, after listening to all the advice I was given, I will share my Christmas miracle.

To give some context, before my transition I was terrified that I would lose the people I loved if I came out, and of course that did not happen.

Despite that, there two people with deep concerns about what I was doing and why, my brother and sister-in-law.

Honestly I was just glad they were not actively trying to stop me.

Which brings us to Christmas.

Okay so last night I dreamed I was one of a group of teens at a day camp studying to become cadets so they could enter the military after high school.

We studied military history, specifically Julius Caesar, and at the end of the camp all the cadets were in dress uniforms for the trip home.

But their uniforms included what I can only describe as a skirt. Not a kilt, but a plain red skirt with white stripes on the sides. Yes, boys and girls were in this outfit.

Wish fulfillment, maybe?

I had a really crazy dream last night.

It started with me being at a university, and one of the students, a young black man, gave me his coat. I put it on, turned a corner, and suddenly I was the only white person I saw in the halls. I went back and found the young man and gave him the coat back, and then I "jumped" into a new situation.

I've submitted "Quest for the Silver Cleric" to Berkley's Publishing.

If you want to submit a work, here is the link:

https://authorspublish.com/berkley-an-imprint-of-peguin-rand...

New little story up!

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/92369/demonstration-m...

My entry in the Christmas contest is up.

I hope everybody likes it:

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/92308/marvel-ous-chri...

Well, Sharon has decided to leave her job as a school custodian.

Between her reluctance to get vaccinated, and the fact that her doctor has told her she needs to cut back because of heart issues, she will be leaving Edmonton Public Schools at the end of December.

She has arranged that in the new year she will be working as a cleaner in a home three days a week.

I hope she's thought this all through, and knows how to get extra support if she needs it, as I simply do not have the funds to help.

today, I managed to go swimming for the first time since COVID began.

It was great, but now I feel like an astronaut coming back to Earth after a week in space.

have you ever been in a situation where you have so many things wrong with your brain you can't be sure which one is acting up?

That's me at the moment.

Okay so I've been trying to be mindful of my emotional state during my current manic phase, and I think I found out something. I'm more suspectable to anger while manic.

I guess this makes sense, since I've seen people who are normally mild mannered turn angry and hostile after say having a few drinks.

So that's something I'm going to have to watch out for, but at least now I know it can happen.

Well, I got some things done today, but at a cost.

I helped sweep out the grate, and went to try and get my meds. I got the one med, but the blister pack wont be ready until Friday. By the time I was coming home I was crying from knee pain.

Then I had to somehow get things under control so I could drive south and pick up Sam at work.

Ah, well.

I've been trying to monitor my emotional state in terms of my bipolar issues, and I think I have discovered something.

I had assumed that my cycle followed a simple pattern - a slow curve up during my manic phase, followed by a slow curve down during my depression phase.

Apparently, its a bit more complicated than that.

During my current manic phase, I've had a couple of what I'm going to call "quick drops" - times when my mood suddenly went way down.

Chapter 3 of Portal Problems is up. Sorry its so short.

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/91978/portal-problems...

a while back I wrote a story called "Rose the Bunny", inspired by a conversation I had on Discord with Rosey Redd. after it was published, she left the comment, "OH god, what did I do? *hides*"

I thought she was joking but since then she's all but vanished.

So if you're out there, Rosey Redd, I'm sorry, and come back.

I'm starting to think I shouldn't drive anymore.

I had 2 scary moments driving today. I was in a turning lane that had a red light while the straight ahead light was green. And somehow both times all I saw was the green light and took the turn anyway.

sighs . . .

So I had a very painful day doing the taxi thing yesterday,

I actually had to call things short, as my knees and my hip were hurting so bad even painkiller couldn't touch it.

Not only that, because we spent about six hours without being able to stop for food, my sugar levels were screaming at me,

Sharon and Sam understood, but I still feel bad for letting them down.

I just had a nightmare while sleeping on my couch.

In it, some guy had me pinned to the ground with his knees holding down my arms. I pushed and wiggled, and even tried to bite his equipment through his pants, but I couldn't move him off of me.

needless to say, I'm kind of shaky

So today was a brain-fart day.

I wanted to go to Costco, because we had bought a new cell phone there, and I wanted to get automatic payments set up.

Only when I got there I discovered I had not brought the phone, the phone number, or the account number.

So back home to get the stuff and go back, and they gave me paperwork to take to the bank.

Go to the bank and they say all they can do is give us paperwork and send us back to Costco.

Well, a brand new story woke me up today and demanded I share it with you all

hope you like it:

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/91628/its-just-clothes

check it out!

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book-page/90137/dd-portal-pro...

Well, it appears I had spoken too soon.

I talked to my insurance company, and I had not let my insurance expire, as I had feared.

Still will have to pay the damage on the other person's car, since it will probably less than my deductible, but still, its a big load off my mind.

So, I took advantage of my manic phase yesterday. I got groceries, took some stuff to the Eco Station bought some books at a used book store. We also bought a new toaster, cause our old one died.

the toaster was one of the items that went to the Eco Station. I also bought an accordion file folder and some labels so I can go through the pile of paperwork in one of my dresser drawers

so I feel like girl who accomplished stuff.

Chapter 2 of Portal Problems is up:

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/91394/portal-problems...