It saddens me when I see a story such as this. It tells me we, as a community have a great deal of education and outreach yet to do if we are to be allowed to live our lives as we see fit.

But as sad as this fact is, it is the knee jerk reaction so many here and throughout the TG community react to a story such as this that irks me. Without taking a moment to think, without waiting until more facts, (yes, those inconvenient little things called facts), are known, many here rush out onto their lawns, grab their tikki torches and charge off to storm the castle and kill the alleged monster.

Let’s take a moment here and think. The story provides the barest of facts. The father of a boy, who identifies as female is petitioning the courts to have his son committed to a mental institution. The mother supports her child’s choice. The case is being reviewed. Can anyone else provide more facts?

What do we, the readers of this story know of the child? Nothing other than the bare bones information has been provided. The child could have suicidal tendencies or be prone to self-destructive behavior, issues that sometimes accompany and complicate transgender behavior. The mother may not have the ability to control the child’s behavior, allowing the child to behave in ways that are dangerous and potentially harmful such as drug abuse, promiscuous behavior or unbridled anger, behavior that has nothing at all to do with gender identity but need to be dealt with by professionals.

Then there is the knee-jerk reaction to the assumption spending time under close psychiatric care would be bad for the child. Why can’t the opposite be true? This just might be what the child needs to confirm or disprove her assumption. The people at the institution, after all, would be far more switched on to how to deal with a TG child then either parent. The child just might receive exactly the sort of treatment and guidance she needs in order to undergo a proper and stress free transition. After all, I serious doubt if the child is going to be put in a straight jacket and locked away in a padded room. As much as some people think the Germans are barbarians, as evidenced by at least one comment here, having worked with them, I know otherwise.

Some of the comments to this piece tell me far more about many in the TG then the story tells me about the child in the story. Some of the comments tell me far too many in the TG community share the same knee-jerk reaction those they rile against; vicious, unthinking and uncompromising intolerance. Far too many people on both side of this issue demand compassion and understanding, yet are incapable of showing any to those with whom they disagree. Why is it so many are incapable of having any tolerance of those they disagree with while demanding it from others?

In recent years I personally have experienced something of a reversal of fortunes. When I started transitioning and working in the TG community in the late 1980’s, my detractors and critics were those who felt I was a miscreant and a certified perv simply because I did not conform to their standards. Today, as recently as Southern Comfort 2011, I am viewed by many in the TG community in the same way because I do not follow, lockstep, the political rhetoric being spewed by the self appointed leaders of the TG community.

So who, I ask, is the real enemy? Those who dislike us because they are ignorant or have not thought things through? Or those who have been the victims of intolerance and feel they have the right, nay the duty to retaliate in kind?

I have borne witness to what intolerance can lead to, both in the streets of my own country and along a stretch of highway that reeked of burned and rotting flesh. Intolerance and hate, no matter how you dress it up or who it is its author is still intolerance and hate.

Nancy Cole