HOW I BECAME STEPHANIE
(MY OLD NAME AND FAMILY NAMES CHANGED TO PROTECT IDENTITIES OF THIS LIFE STORY)
CHAPTER 1
A few years after I was born, I always knew I was a girl, but growing up and being forced to be a boy was always hard for me to live with. It was hard to go to school in trousers and a shirt and tie instead of a skirt and blouse and tie like I always dreamed of, wearing what the girls wore to school. I used to sit the class looking at all the girls, fixated on the clothes the girls wore, both in and out of school hours. I got Jealous that I couldn't look that pretty, as they did in their gorgeous outfits they wore.
At school I always tried to hang around with the girls and play any games they wanted to play, like Hide And Seek and Tag Your It. I always wished I was born a girl. I felt totally out of place being the only (Girl) in Boys' clothes, but once I got home, it was back to toy cars and other boring boy toys. I wished I had dolls and prams and a doll house like my big sisters did, but nope, the only chance I got to play with them is when I played with my sisters' toys, and as any other boy would do who knew they were a girl inside, I tried on my mum's clothes, and if I ever went to my auntie's house, I used to tell my mum I was going to the toilet, but instead I sneaked into my wee cousin's room and put on the cutest clothes she had, and I would put my boring male clothes on top of them and take them home. One time, my dad caught me wearing my mum's clothes. Instead of knocking on my room door so i could rush and get dressed, he just walked in and caught me and he humiliated me he grabbed me by the collar and took me downstairs to my mum where i was wearing her clothes and my dad says "Look what your son is wearing!". I just burst out crying and i was told to go upstairs and get changed.
(skipping a few years)
When I was in high school, I managed to get my stash of girly cute clothes and hair accessories hidden in my bedroom. I used to put them on anytime I got alone time, and whenever my mum found my stash of clothes, she actually binned the whole bag while I was at school, so once I came home I ran to my room to put something on, and as you would know, they were all gone. I couldn't go to my mum or dad and ask where my bag of girl clothes went to, so I had to start again and gather clothes from my cousin or clothes I bought with my own pocket money I got. One time, I actually heard my mum and dad talk and they were just saying "it's ok, we can't let Robert wear the girl clothes he has gotten, it's only a phase, he will grow out of it". As i got older, I showed my parents it was not just a phase as they thought it would be, and they just kept it in their heads it was a phase.
As time went by, as I got older, I did manage to change my name legally, but still after it was changed, my parents still never called me by my name. The name I had chosen for my self, Stephanie Marie Faith. I got the name changed in 2010 and I was actually happy that I started my Journey to be ME, and in 2013, I started female hormones to grow my own set of breasts and to make my features more feminine and I changed all my legal documents to my new name, Stephanie Marie Faith. I met a brand new family who would love me and accept me as their daughter and sister and they showed me the love I missed out growing up as Robert. Now I had a family who was actually calling me by my name, Stephanie. That actually made me very very very happy and all I could do from there, was to live my life to the max! I had to go through voice training and blood tests and psychotherapy and counselling to make sure I was sane enough to go through with the operation in years to come, but in the meantime, I had a new family, a new sister, and 3 new brothers, and a new mum and dad who all loved me for whom I am and not what i was born like. My dreams started to come true and my sister who I love to bits helped me any way she could. She gave me hair styles and she did my makeup and she helped me to buy clothes for my self and I was extremely happy to be doing sisterly stuff even though I was older than my new sister. For some strange reason, I did want to be treated as the youngest sister by her. Because having a family to accept and love me as their daughter/sister, I never had that growing up as a boy so I kinda desperately wanted to be the little sister and learn from my big sister. I did want that, but that never happened. I had to be the big sister and I learned alot from my new family. I settled into my new life, and at one point my new family took me out to a restaurant and some ignorant guys were looking at me and saying stuff under their breath about me, but I just ignored them sat back down and enjoyed my food.
CHAPTER 2 My Transition
In March 2017, I got a letter through the door telling me I have a chance to get my surgery the year later, on Feb 5th 2018, so it was a long but exciting year I was waiting for. When the time arrived for my operation, I had to go to the hospital alone from one country to another, from Scotland to England, but it was all ok. I got a flight to Gatwick Airport and then I got a taxi from the airport to the hospital. I paid for the taxi, but I was reimbursed when i got back home. I was in hospital on 4th of Feb. I settled into my room and was not allowed solid foods or any fizzy drinks. All I could take was water and jelly. On the 5th, the day of my operation, I was woken up to get ready to be taken to the theater where I was to be given my surgery to become female. When I awoke from my surgery, I was groggy and disoriented, but when I got my senses back, I was ok, but during the night, I had a few problems. I don't know what actually happened cause I was asleep, but the nurses came into my room a few times and told me I stopped breathing and they had to fix my oxygen in my nose. It must of kept coming out or something, they woke me up about 3 or 4 times that night saying I repeatedly stopped breathing, but to me, I just wished they would've stopped waking me up. But in the morning, when I actually did wake up, I got few sandwiches and a cup of tea, then I had to go home that day. What was a surprise to me after going through a major operation, but I survived it and I went home to my family in Inverness. They took care of me until I could walk proper and get used to my new parts. I was in pain for few weeks, but I was on heavy painkillers, and once I got all better, I spent few more weeks in Inverness with my family before I went home. Once I was home, I had to rearrange my livingroom and put my bed in it so i was close to everything, then i was in bed rest. Now I had to get my birth certificate changed and I had to get every document changed to female too.
CHAPTER 3 My Childhood And What I Experienced Growing Up
As a child growing up in the wrong body, I got bullied a lot growing up, only cause I wanted to be treated as a proper girl, and I was beaten up everyday, and I was called sissy, and I was also called a tranny. I never really had a childhood, I was forced to grow up, 'cause to my mum and dad, I was their oldest son even though I had 2 big sisters, so I had to grow up. It was very hard for me to try to be a boy, and I failed to be one, and my dad did tell me once if I ever came to his house dressed as a female, he is not letting me in and sending me home to get changed, cause no son of his wears girls' clothes. So I had to wear boy clothes to go to my parents' house. But with my new family I have in Inverness, I could wear dress or a skirt or any female clothes, so I was happy when I was over there and they treated me like the girl I am and I should've been born like. I got makeovers and my hair done and I got a birthday party too! Its was brilliant! The best birthday I have ever had in my entire life. All I am missing at the moment is a boyfriend and it is hard to find one who would like me for whom I am and not that I am transgender, 'cause in life I have noticed if i went for a girl, Lesbian girls don't like Trans Females and if I went for a straight guy they won't want a trans female either, so I'm stuck at being single, but while time has passed I am getting into boys these days, but I'm actually scared to let a guy even touch me, I will kiss and hug them and hold hands, but I don't know about letting him fondle me, I'm not at that point yet unless he can woo me off my feet for me to let him touch me. Once, I did find a guy who I started dancing with at a nightclub. We started to kiss and hug and snog and once he wanted to add me on facebook, I let him, but as soon as he saw I was transgender from my trans flag I had on my facebook, he dumped me. He told me I should've told him and he wants a woman who can give him kids and he didn't mean to mess with my head, but once I got home from the nightclub, I was crying my eyes out and I was feeling heartbroken. I opened my heart to try find love or maybe a fling, but ended up as I knew it would be, every time I try to find someone and they find out I'm trans, they don't want to know me. But I'm not letting that one thing get me down. I'll continue my life and the hunt to try find a mate, either female or male. When I was younger, I used to say Bi-sexual people were 'greedy cause they couldn't decide on guys or girls so they picked both, but now I know why. If a guy won't want me, then maybe a female will, so I've turned into one of those greedy people lol and I am happy atm even though I'm single, I hope I won't be single for rest of my life.
The End
THANKS EVERYONE FOR READING MY VERY FIRST LIFE STORY, THIS IS JUST A SNEAK PEAK OF MY LIFE BUT AGAIN THANKS FOR READING.
