‘All Rise for Judge Smethick’ the Bailiff intoned solemnly. I rose beside my solicitor, trembling slightly with the beginnings of a cold sweat. This was when I would hear my sentence for my crimes.

‘Be seated’. The court settled down with a shuffling of feet and some stifled coughs.

‘The defendant shall rise’. I stood again. The Judge shuffled his papers and stared at me over the top of his glasses. It was not a friendly stare.

‘Timothy John Reilly you have been found guilty of disrespect to women. The court has heard your apology and believe you to be genuinely contrite, so I have decided to be lenient with you and not hand down a custodial sentence. Instead, I sentence you to a hundred lashes’.

A shocked gasp ran around the court. Jaws dropped and my solicitor jumped to his feet. ‘Your Worship, I must protest. This is not the Middle Ages. I beg you to reconsider.’

‘Mr. Bailey my mind is made up. The court is now in recess’.

{sometime later}

‘Is this going to hurt’ I asked the woman nervously.
‘Not if I do it right’ she replied.
‘Its not permanent, is it’?
‘It will last a couple of weeks. Now hold still or I’ll glue your eyelids together’.