A Wish Unwanted – Part 4
by Limbo’s Mistress

Tracy and I talked for a little bit longer, though the topic of the stone was not the focus of the conversation.

Instead, it was a question and answer session where she did her best to walk me through how to act less like someone who used, as recently as that morning, had been a guy. In other words, she coached me on how to be Penny.

Impressively enough, I was able to follow along and grasp the basic concepts rather quickly. I’ve always been the kind of person to adapt to new things without too much problem. Though, the speed with which I learned girlie things was a little scary.

“It’s probably part of the magic,” she said when I mentioned it. “I mean, if you’re cursed to understand what being an attractive, popular girl is like, it only stands to reason the stone would make it so you had to be both attractive, which you are, and popular, which would require you to behave a certain way.”

A chill crawled up my spine at that. It was bad enough the wish had changed me on the outside. To think that it could also change mental things as well was a bit too close for comfort.

When the bell ending the period sounded, I left the library feeling like I might actually be able to pull off being Penelope. At least until I found a way to undo what had been done. Despite the fact Tracy seemed to believe my chances of succeeding were a great deal less than my catching an invisible snitch at night with a flying broom.

I headed toward the cafeteria, feeling my belly rumble a little as I remembered that I had totally skipped breakfast. The surprise at my new life had sort of overridden that primal instinct. I only hoped the famished feeling could be quelled without having to scarf down everything in my path. Penny’s toned figure suggested she was the kind of her girl who didn’t devour an entire medium-sized supreme pizza by herself.

Sam’s record for that particular task, by the way, was twenty-two minutes.

Just as I neared the cafeteria, Sarah appeared beside me and pulled me aside, out of the way of the multitudes flocking toward the smell of food.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hey?” she responded. “Where were you?”

“Where was I when?”

“Third period. You didn’t come to the Clubhouse.”

I groaned inside, mentally wincing as I finally remembered to connect the dots.

The Clubhouse was a large room at the back of the Benson High sports complex. Once, long ago, it existed solely as a storeroom for discarded athletic equipment. Sometime in the early nineties, a wealthy alumnus donated the funds required to clean up the place and turn it into a lounge. This generous benefactor, who had once worn the blue and white uniform of a Raiderette, felt the girls responsible for keeping up school spirit deserved a private place of their own to relax and recharge. Unofficially dubbed the Clubhouse, it was off-limits to everyone who wasn’t a member of either one of the cheer squads.

I continued to mentally slap myself. How many times had Cindy bitched about being expected to waste her free period sitting around the Clubhouse, socializing and gossiping about stupid crap that didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things? It had to be in the hundreds.

Hell, she even mentioned one time that she would rather spend the hour cleaning toilet bowls.

Now, I was one of the Raiderettes. With all the stupid expectations that came with it.

“Oh,” I said, giving my shoulders a shrug. “I had to meet someone in the library.”

A sly smirk appeared on Sarah’s face. “Oh? Perhaps a clandestine meeting with a certain football player in one of the darkened stacks? Maybe one whose initials are ‘L’ and ‘T’?” A little amused giggle came out from between her pink lips.

I rolled my eyes, trying not to gag aloud. This whole thing with Penny and Lee was starting to get out of hand. As far as I was aware, they had only been out on the one date. To the movies. Of course, it was possible they’d been on others, just without anyone else at the school being privy.

Ugh. Which meant I was going to have to discreetly grill Lee to find out.

Or, maybe Pee-Jay was the kind of girl to keep a diary. One could only hope.

“For your information, Miss Nosey,” I said, turning to resume my trek to the cafeteria. “That particular individual was not present for this meeting. I was actually talking with Tracy about some things.”

Sarah, walking beside me, looked my way as confusion swam across her face. “Tracy … Mallory?”

I nodded.

“Why?”

That stopped me in mid-stride. I turned to her, trying to keep my tone civil.

“Why what? Why as in, what was the purpose of my meeting Tracy in the library? Or why, as in why was I meeting with someone like Tracy?”

She held up one of her hands, defensively. “Easy, girlfriend. Definitely the first.” She looked away for a second, then back to me. “To be honest, I didn’t think you even knew who Tracy Mallory was. I should have remembered you two share a mutual friend.”

At first, I thought she meant Tabitha. Then I realized exactly to whom she was referring. The friend I still had yet to really meet.

“You mean Charlie?”

She nodded. “Speaking of, that’s what I wanted to tell you. He came to the Clubhouse, looking for you. Like, he just walked right inside without knocking. It was nearly a scandal.”

I rolled my eyes again. However, I couldn’t completely disagree with the comment. Just barging in on a group of girls actually was kind of rude.

“Did he say what he wanted?”

Other than to slap me across the face what my share of the wish had done to him?

Sarah shook her head. “No. He just walked in, looked around, then asked if anyone knew where you were. Tabitha nearly crapped her pants when she saw him standing there.”

Oh, I just bet she did.

“Candice told him that you weren’t there, she didn’t know where you were, and that he’d better get his ass gone before she called the football team to come show him the door.”

Of course. When a dork needs correcting, call in the jocks.

“So, he just left?”

She nodded. “Though he didn’t seem too happy about it. Actually, he seemed completely out of it. Like he had been hanging with Brock and the rest of those stoners, you know?” She lowered her voice even more, her features softening a little. “Look, Peej, I get it. You and Charlie were really close when you were younger. And I don’t have anything against him, personally, you know that. But he needs to watch himself. The others …”

I nodded. Yeah, I it was easy enough to figure out what the others might do to a nerd who overstepped his bounds.

Sarah resumed walking toward the cafeteria again. After a second, I sighed and followed her.

“Of course,” she said, looking over her shoulder at me. “Charlie barging in on us wasn’t the biggest drama of the hour. It was barely an appetizer.”

“Really? What could possibly top the spectacle of having one of the lower castes show up uninvited to the Clubhouse?”

“Well … apparently Jen’s grandmother died last night. So bright and early this morning, her folks dragged her all the way up to B.F.E., Michigan for the wake and funeral. She might not make it back until Friday afternoon.”

“Really?” I asked, feeling a ray of sunlight come streaming into my soul. If Jen the Tyrant was gone for a few days, then maybe whoever led the next few cheer practices would overlook the fact that I didn’t know a handspring from a backflip. At least until I could learn the difference.

I barely managed to rein in my smile as I shook my head and tried to sound somewhat sad at the tragic news. “That’s terrible. Poor Jen.” I wasn’t the kind of monster to be overjoyed at the loss of a family member, but not having Jen around for almost a week was something to be celebrated.

Sarah gave me a look that said my feigned despair was completely no-convincing.

“Whatever, Peej. It’s not like Jen’s really broken up over it. She was more pissed that she’s going to be gone for almost the whole week.”

I nodded. “And that’s terrible news as well.” This time, I didn’t even bother to sound distraught.

Sarah laughed. “Not really. Not in the least.”

A real smile appeared on my face. It was getting easier and easier to see why Penelope and Sarah were such good friends. There was a sense of camaraderie between them. Cindy and I had been friends, but it was always more around the basis of shared likes and dislikes. The connection had been there when we were kids, but had carried an undertone of tension, sexual tension, since puberty had had its way with us.

We reached the cafeteria doors and went inside to take our queue in the line.

“However,” I said, continuing our conversation. “I’m not getting the sense that Jen’s absence is worthy of any drama. She’s gone for a bit. We’ll manage in the meantime.” The look on Sarah’s face told me that I hadn’t heard the whole story. Just the opening act. I tilted my head to the side, looking at her. “There’s more, isn’t there?”

Sarah pressed her lips together tightly, then glanced around us. The students in front and behind were grossly engaged in their own conversations. Or had their attentions focused on the phone in their hands. After a moment, she lowered her voice as she moved even closer to me.

“The reason I know about Jen’s grandmother is because called Tabitha.”

“Okay?” I said, still sure where this was going. “Jen is going to be away for almost the whole week. Of course she would call her number one flunky to make sure everything goes ‘Jen-riffic’.”

Sarah’s expression shifted from secretive to confused. Like she was having trouble following my point.

“I mean,” I said, trying not to sound patronizing. “You know how anal Jen is with making sure everything with the squad is perfectly coordinated. Especially during football season.” I knew this because Cindy had ranted repeatedly about how obsessive the little blonde dictator could be about the routines. “Her calling Tabitha and reminding her of that isn’t exactly newsworthy.”

Now Sarah’s face moved to a mixture of confusion and concern.

“Peej,” she said, staring at me. “Tabs isn’t the co-captain. You are.”

Do what now? How in the hell did that happen?

“Oh.” Yeah, I’m quite the orator, I know. To be honest, I was lucky I even got that single syllable out. Cindy wasn’t the co-captain. Why was I … err, Penny?

Tabitha was supposed to be Jen’s second in command. She had been for two years.

Tabitha. Who had used the wishing stone.

“Unless,” Sarah said. “Was there some meeting between you, Tabs, and Jen? Did you resign as co-captain?”

“I’m …well, not really sure. Actually.”

A hurtful look came over her face. “You didn’t say anything to me.”

Seeing her face downcast like that made my stomach uneasy. I didn’t want the other girl to be sad.

“Well, nothing was really finalized or decided,” I hoped that would provide a semi-satisfactory explanation. “I was going to tell you. Promise.”

She sighed. “I guess that makes sense. Because when Jen called Tabs, she acted like she already had the position. Then it got weird. I couldn’t make out what Jen was saying, but it was really loud. Like, that time she found out Candice had a pool party while she was out of town. Practically screaming. Tabs kept looking like she was going to throw up. Or cry. Or both.”

I barely repressed a small smile. I remembered the incident between the Cheer Queen and her subject, the one who dared have a big social event without her. I’d stood with the rest of the crowd, watching the little blonde berate her friend. By the time it was over, Candice was in tears and Jen had re-cemented her position as the Alpha female of Benson High.

At the time, I’d thought it hilarious the way the two bimbos argued and sniped at each other. Now, I sort of felt bad for Candice. Though not for Tabitha.

“Anyways, Tabs apologized, like, a gazillion times and told Jen she would get to the bottom of it. Whatever that means.” She shrugged and turned around to grab one of the plastic trays from the stack.

Tracy had said her wish made Tabitha part of the in-crowd. But not the top dog. So she ended up being the top dog’s assistant. A job that now belonged to Penny. Having used the stone before me meant Tabitha knew something was different this morning. Did she know she had been magically demoted before Jen called her? Was she, even now, trying to figure out who this Pee-Jay person was? Or used to be?

Considering what the bitch did to poor Tracy, I felt a warm feeling of justification and pride in knowing that I had taken some of her artificial status away from her. Even if it was by accident.

Sarah and I moved along the line, both of us staying away from the gray blocks floating in a tray full of shimmering grease. The label on the glass barrier claimed it was “Meatloaf” but I was sure the lumps barely met that definition. The mac and cheese didn’t appear much better, looking like lumpy wads of soggy pasta in processed cheese sauce leftover from the dot-com era.

Instead, we both chose a grilled chicken sandwich and a bottle of water. Mainly due to the fact that it was the most appetizing thing being offered, rather than any sort of caloric measurement. As a guy, I hadn’t cared what I put in my body. I ate what I wanted.

Whether or not that would change, now that I had a “girlish figure” to keep an eye on, remained to be seen.

We exited the cafeteria, trays in hand, and headed across the quad to the three concrete picnic tables arranged in a U-shape. As we neared the group already feasting and talking, I noticed Lee sitting with his teammates. Our eyes locked and the warm smile that appeared on his face sent a wave of butterflies swimming through my stomach.

Okay, that’s not a good sign.

I broke eye contact with the handsome boy and veered slightly left, to the side of the U that contained most of the cheer squad. Several of the girls looked up and waved at Sarah and I, happy expressions on their faces.

All except one.

Tabitha’s eyes widened in complete and utter shock the second they landed on me. Unfortunately for her, she was in the process of taking a sip of her beverage at that exact moment. She gagged, coughed, and sprayed soda from her mouth in an arc that landed on Cody’s bare arm.

“Jesus, Tabs!” he yelled. “Watch what you’re doing!” He grabbed a couple of napkins from his tray and began wiping at his hairy, and cola-stained, limb while glaring at her.

The choking girl couldn’t immediately respond, however. She continued to cough and sputter, even as Candice patted her forcefully across the back. Through it all, her eyes never stopped staring at me.

I grinned, feeling like the cat that ate an entire pet store full of canaries. As I expected, the moment Tabitha saw me, the dominos fell into place. She suddenly understood that the Pee-Jay she had no memory of was actually Sam Davenport. Though, I would have bet a million dollars she didn’t know my name. To her, to most of the people like her, Sam Davenport was just a dorky nobody she and her friends enjoyed tormenting.

Actually learning my name would have been beneath her.

Part of me wondered if she’d spent the morning wondering who this Pee-Jay person was. And why she was the co-captain in her place. Had she woken up and discovered her uniform was changed? Did she make a comment to one of the other girls in homeroom, only to be informed that Pee-Jay has usurped her position?

I sat down at the table, slightly askew from Tabitha, next to a girl named Kara Warner. The freckle-faced redhead smiled up at me and then waved at Sarah, who plopped her bottom down next to me.

“You okay there, Tabs,” I said, leaning forward a bit. “Something get you all choked up?”

She coughed a couple more times. Then, realizing that more than one set of eyes was on her, shook her head. “I’m fine,” she muttered.

I nodded, taking a sip of my water while she looked at me like she wasn’t exactly sure what she was seeing. I didn’t know what it was like to try to reconcile two, equally valid, realities in one’s head, but it was more than apparent she wasn’t as good at it as Tracy had been.

“Oh, that reminds me,” I said as nonchalantly as I could. “I heard Jen called for me earlier.” I reached into my purse and pulled out my phone. “Must have accidently left it on silent and didn’t hear it ring. What did she want?”

Tabitha might have recovered from her bout of dry-land drowning, but she still stared at me as if trying to understand the ‘why’ of my existence. I was sure she already knew the ‘how’.

“Jen …” she said. Then her blue eyes darted back and forth to the people around us before she crinkled her nose in a disgusted fashion and stuck out her chin. “You know what? I’m not your secretary …uh, Pee-Jay. If you want to know what she wanted, answer your damned phone next time.

Her face was flush with apparent embarrassment and anger. She stood up, grabbed her half-eaten lunch, and stormed off back into the cafeteria.

She might have departed in a huff, but I had little doubt we would be running into each other soon. She would most certainly want to know why I was now both a cheerleader and better liked than her. As soon as she was sure she could get those answers, she would be back.

“Meow!” Chad said as he watched Tabitha vanish into the building. “Tabby Cat is pissed about something.”

“Maybe it’s that time of the month,” Candice said with a smirk.

Okay, so maybe girls really did harass each other about that subject. And here I just thought it was something guys did.

I shrugged, suddenly desiring to push the envelope a bit.

“Maybe she thought Jen was calling because she was finally going to let her have my spot on the squad. I mean, it’s no secret Tabitha wants to replace me.”

Tabitha. Because in my mind, Pee-Jay would never be as friendly with the blonde as to call her “Tabs”.

Kara rolled her eyes. “As if. Tabs is dreaming if she thinks she can replace you. Hell, half the time Jen can barely keep up with you.”

There was a collective, nearly soundless, gasp from the rest of the girls around me. All except Sarah, that is. Candice shook her head, staring at Kara. It was a look that said the other girl shouldn’t say such blasphemous things aloud about the head Raiderette.

Which was understandable. If Jen was willing to rip a fellow Raiderette to shreds over missing a party, the penalty for mutiny would be far worse.

I shrugged, pretending like I wasn’t concerned. Like I was just another “above the masses” snob. “No harm in her dreaming, right? I’m sure she’ll cool down when she remembers how things really are. Rather than how she thinks they should be.”

From there, the conversation took a much lighter turn. We discussed the latest gossip of who was dating who. Who had broken up with who. And a disturbingly detailed poll about this of the guys had the nicest ass.

By ‘we’, I mean the rest of the squad. I personally didn’t have much of a horse in the race. Though, to be perfectly, completely honest, I had to agree with those who thought Lee Taylor’s posterior was the best.

It was weird, having a conversation like that with a bunch of girls I wouldn’t have saved from drowning the day before. Actually, the more I experienced it, the more I realized it was pretty much like the conversations me and my friends had during our lunches. Though, concerning widely different topics.

A few minutes later, however, I felt Kara stiffen beside me.

Before I could look at what had startled her, I heard Candice say, in an annoyed voice, “Oh god, Upchuck’s back.”

I turned around and saw Cindy, now Charlie, slowly approaching our table.

“Candice!” hissed Sarah. “Behave.” Her stern tone was scolding.

I glanced from Charlie to Sarah, then over to Candice, who looked at me with an ashamed look on her face.

“Sorry, Pee-Jay,” she said, then broke eye contact.

Upchuck? What was that about?

Cindy made his way to our table, ignoring everyone in the quad but me. From the corner of my eye, I noticed several of the football players turn to watch the unexpected arrival. However, none of them moved to intercept him. I couldn’t help but speculate that it was because of my presence. From the way Candice had behaved after calling him what I was sure was a derogatory nickname, it wasn’t that hard to assume any harassment fostered upon the freshly minted boy was done out of Penelope’s sight.

As Charlie came closer, I took a moment to examine the effect of the wish on him.

From the photo affixed to Penny’s mirror, and the knowledge he was considered an outcast, I had some inkling of what to expect. Though, I had to admit it wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been.

His hair was still golden blonde and wavy, though not as shiny or well-coiffed as Cindy’s. It hung down into his face some, partially covering his left eye. It also stuck up at an angle near the back in what could only be describes as the Cowlick from Hell. His face had was a smattering of pimples dotting his forehead and cheeks, as well as two larger blemishes among the scruffy stubble poking out of his chin.

Far from the nearly clear complexion Cindy enjoyed, but nothing worse than what three-fifths of the school had to deal with.

He was skinnier than I had been, though not skeleton-thin, and wore a pair of faded black jeans which were ripped at the knees, red Converse trainers, and a TARDIS t-shirt beneath a windbreaker adorned with a Star Fleet logo patch on the front.

In summary, he was far less attractive than the pretty seventeen-year-old he’d been on Saturday, but still far better than I had ever looked. There was a tiny bit of comfort in that.

He stopped a few feet away from the table, looking more nervous about talking to me than worrying about the hulking dudes nearby.

“Uh, Pee-Jay?” he said, keeping this eyes squarely on me. “Do you think we can talk for a minute? Alone?”

Every head swiveled simultaneously from the boy to me. As if what I was about to do, or say, would be the most interesting thing they would see that day.

I didn’t even hesitate. Not even for a second.

Rising to my feet, I nodded. “Of course.” Leaving my tray, but grabbing my purse, I glanced over at Sarah. “See you later.”

She waved, then looked over at Charlie, giving him a tiny nod of acknowledgment. The gesture reinforced my opinion of the other girl. Had Sarah been this cool back when Cindy was her teammate? Or did she tolerate Charlie for the sake of her friendship with Penny?

Forget about the physical upheavals the Invidia Stone could cause. The philosophical ones were even more complex.

Charlie turned around and walked out of the quad, deciding to go around the corner of the building rather than back into the still-crowded cafeteria. I followed along, unable to glance back at my new associates. Most of them were watching me depart.

Lee Taylor among them. Though, his neutral expression about what was happening stood in stark contrast to the majority.

After a minute or so, we stopped next to a large rock a few dozen yards from the school. The boulder was about six feet high, shaped like a sideways egg, and painted blue and white. It bore several spirited slogans such as: “Raiders Rule!” and “BHS Class of 2017 Rocks!”

I glanced around, making sure we were far enough away from anyone else to keep from being overheard. Then I turned around to look at Cindy.

“I’m sorry,” we both said in unison. Then we both blinked a couple of times before bursting out laughing. Gallows humor.

Cindy recovered first. “Seriously, Sam,” he said, frowning. “I was so mad I didn’t realize what I was doing.”

I shrugged. “Well, I did call you ‘shallow’. You had every right to be pissed.”

“Still, I wanted to use to stone to make my life better. Not screw up yours.”

“It’s not all on you,” I said, reaching out to touch him on the arm. “I messed up my part of the wish, too.” As if to iterate, I gestured at his new appearance.

A small smile, completely genuine crossed his face. Then he shrugged. “It’s okay, Sammy. Really. I mean, yeah, waking up this morning with a penis, and a fracking stiff one at that, was a bit … disconcerting. Of all the ways I expected the wish to work, that wasn’t one of them. Didn’t think the thing was ever going to deflate enough for me to put on some pants.”

I felt my own cheeks warm a bit. It was one thing to talk bodily reflexes in an abstract way with a member of the opposite sex. It was completely another to discuss them with someone who was now the same sex.

“Yeah, I used to wake up like that all the time,” I said. “Cold showers will solve that issue in a second.” Then I planted my hand on my hip, smirking. “Although, I guess morning wood isn’t going to be a problem I have to deal with anymore.”

He rolled his eyes. “No, you’ll get to experience other stuff. I’ll be sure to rush over with some pads and a pint of mint chocolate chip sometime in the next twenty-eight days.”

I stuck my tongue out at her, though the thought behind her words sent a shiver up my spine. I’d already accepted that I was going to have periods. Accepted in theory, that is. However, I completely lacked the knowledge set required to deal with what every other girl had experienced since they were around thirteen.

As close as Sarah and Pee-Jay were, I doubted I could call her and ask for help.

“I’ll be sure to call you at the first sight of blood,” I said, meaning it. Then I sighed, feeling my mind turn to more serious matters. “How are you doing? Really?”

Another shrug. “Managing. I almost went to the wrong first period. Luckily, it seems that Charlie never got around to taking his schedule out of that packet they hand out at the start of the year. It was a lifesaver.”

I nodded. “I know what you mean. Thankfully Penelope is the type to keep a detailed calendar on her phone. Otherwise, I would have been completely lost.”

“I got the classes I couldn’t take before. AP Physics, Honors Calculus, Advanced Programming.” If she had still been Cindy, she would have squealed with happiness.

“I got a much lighter fare,” I said dejectedly. “As well as cheer, homecoming committee, and … ballet.”

His face fell. “Oh, wow. I … wow.”

“Yep. And I don’t know how to do any of them. Except maybe the committee. Since Pee-Jay’s in charge, I guess I’ll just order other people to do the work.”

“Welcome to being popular. Now you get to find out what it’s like when everyone wants some of your time. All the time.” She waggled a pair of slightly bushy eyebrows at me.

“Yay.” I said unenthusiastically. “Not to mention that the stone decided that, on top of everything else, I needed a boyfriend.”

His eyes widened dramatically. “No shit? Who?”

I sighed. “Lee Taylor.”

His jaw actually dropped open for a full three seconds of speechless gawking. Then, slowly, he recovered from the impromptu shutdown and rebooted, shaking her head.

“That’s crazy,” he said. “I mean, good for Pee-Jay. Lee deserves to be with a good girl after dealing with Jen’s crazy ass for so long.” The venom in her voice could have downed a Nazgul. The hate Cindy had for Jennifer Winters was known only to me.

“Well, I think we’re keeping it on the DL for now. Lucky for me, Jen went to Michigan for a funeral.”

“So I heard. I think half the school is happy to be free of her for a few days.” She smirked. “Hey, maybe you should take over. Be a kinder, more benevolent bitch.”

I rolled my eyes and stuck out my tongue. “Ha, ha. No chance of that happening. I can’t topple Miss Thang from her throne. Hell, I’m barely surviving as a girl as it is.”

“Puh-lease,” he said, rolling his eyes. “You look completely amazing. You definitely make a much better girl than I ever did.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. Sure, Cindy had been pretty, and well-liked, and talented. But she never enjoyed any of it. Not really. Whenever she could get away and hang with our old friends, she shifted back into her tomboy persona.

As if Cindy the Cheerleader was a mask she felt she had to wear to make other people happy. One she only took off around those she felt comfortable. People like Sam.

Now, she wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore. She could be whomever she wanted.

“That might be true on the outside,” I said. “But inside, I’m a complete mess. I’m trying to walk a line between being natural and being … uh …”

“A dude in a hot girl’s body?”

“Exactly! I can bluff through most of it, but I’m going to be screwed when it comes time to actually cheer. Or, heaven forbid, put on a tutu.”

Charlie winced. “Now I really am sorry, hon. Cheering is a cakewalk next to dancing.”

“Well, I don’t know how to do either.”

He looked me over for a second, then snapped his fingers. “I’ll coach you.”

“Coach me? On how to dance?”

“Sure! I’ll come over this evening. We can go over the basics. Of both dancing and cheering. As well as how to put on makeup.” Then she leaned in and looked at my face. “Though, holy crap, your complexion is amaze-balls. The stone certainly didn’t skimp out on the bonus features.” As if on cue, his eyes drifted down to the swells of my generous bustline. “On any of the bonus features.”

“Hey! Eyes up here, Charlie.” Then I gave him a curious look. “Why did Candice call you ‘Upchuck’ back there?”

He sighed. “So, apparently back in freshman year, Charlie had a thing for Sarah Strand.”

I nodded. “Understandable. She’s really pretty. You guys would make great babies.”

“Oh frack off. Anyway, right before winter formal, he finally got the courage to ask her out.”

“She said no?” I phrased it as a question, but even I knew the story must not have a happy ending.

“She never got the chance to turn him down. Right as he walked up to her, he vomited all over the hallway floor. Guess he was too nervous or something.” He sighed. “Anyways, Chad Barrow thought it would be funny to start calling him ‘Upchuck’. You know, Chuck being short for Charles. It’s stuck around ever since. Especially among the jocks.”

“That sucks donkey balls,” I said.

“Eh, what can you do? You put up with far worse shit, Sammy. If you can survive it, so can I.”

He smiled, then nodded his head back in the direction of the quad.

“You might want to head back. Before Lee comes looking for you. Not sure how he’ll feel about you hanging out alone with Upchuck.”

I gritted my teeth. “Well, if he has any hopes at all about being with me, he better realize that picking on my friends is the best way to get on my bad side.”

He opened his mouth, then simply closed it and nodded. There was no reason to point out that Cindy had never had the same conviction.

“So, you’ll come over tonight? After six? I should be home by then.”

“Will do.” He started to walk off, away from the quad. Then he turned back and looked at me. “I know we aren’t as close now as we were before the wish. I don’t know if that distance is because of our feelings when we made the wish. Or if that’s just the way things went for Charlie and Penny.”

I smiled at him. “We can change that, right? Just because reality was twisted around us doesn’t mean we can’t make a few alterations of our own.”

He shrugged. “According to Tracy, the changes made by the stone are pretty difficult to mess with. If Penny’s popularity hinges on her not resuming her friendship with Charlie, then I think you’ll find our odds of us successfully changing it to be approximately 3,720 to 1.”

I felt my smile widen. “Never tell me the odds,” I replied.

Back in the quad, I discovered that everyone had departed to go to their next class. Everyone, that was, except Lee.

I rounded the corner and saw him standing by the table, my backpack in his hand. He smiled a little as I walked up, hefting the bag up and out toward me.

“I told Sarah I’d make sure you got this.”

“Thanks,” I said, taking it from him and slipping it over my shoulder. “You didn’t have to do that.”

He gave me a devilish smirk and shrugged. “Well, I figured since we were heading in the same direction, I could walk with you.” Then he tilted his head to look down at me. “Unless, that’s not okay.”

I didn’t need to access the Chick-Computer to decipher his meaning. He’d seen me walk off with Charlie and wasn’t completely sure if he wanted to know what that had been about. I did have to give him props, though. If he was jealous, he sure didn’t let it show through that smile.

“It’s okay,” I said, surprised that I actually meant it. “Since we’re going the same way, as you put it.” I gave him a little smirk and walked back into the school.

We made our way to British Lit. Along the way, I managed to glean a little insight as to what was currently going on in the class.

“Coleridge is a little long winded, don’t you think?” Lee asked as we climbed the steps to the second floor. “But The Rime of the Ancient Mariner is one of my favorite poems.”

Thankfully, I knew of the tale. More from a half-assed campaign Ronnie Boles tried to run last summer. The dude could play a rogue like nobody’s business, but when it came to actually DMing a game, he was worthless.

“I agree,” I said. “What about, uh, Bronte?” That was a British chick writer, right? Or was she an American?

Lee arched a brow. “Which one? There were three.”

Way to go, Sammy. Now he’s really going to think you’re a dimwit.

Not that I really cared what Lee thought about me. Nope. Negative. Nada. Nyet.

“Uh, the first one,” I said, feeling my cheeks warm.

“Charlotte. She’s not too bad. I prefer Emily’s stuff though.” He lowered his voice. “I have to keep it from the rest of the guys that I actually find literature interesting. The last time I mentioned a poem that wasn’t on the syllabus, I got razzed for a week.”

I stopped walking to look at him for a moment, then resumed my pace.

No, my heartbeat had not increased. And I definitely, absolutely, positively did not suddenly wonder if my hair looked okay.

Oh… this wasn’t good.

I stopped again, pointing at the restroom we were about to pass. “Do you mind going on without me? I need to make a detour.”

He followed my finger, then looked back at me, nodding. “Of course. I’ll see you in class.”

I forced a smile on my face, not that it was that hard to do. Then I walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind me.

“Frack! Frack! Frack!” I repeated in a slightly loud whisper. “What the frack is going on?”

I walked past the stalls, peering under the door of each to make sure I was completely alone in the room. Then I went over to the sinks, dropped my purse and backpack on the floor, and stared at the girl in the mirror.

Her face was flushed, from what I hoped was the panic attack I felt coming on. Part of me doubted it. I shook my head and turned on the faucet, filling my hands with water and splashing it on my face. It was a good thing I’d skipped the makeup, since I would have turned it into a soggy mess.

I grabbed a couple of paper towels from the holder and blotted my cheeks and forehead dry. The edges of my hair were damp, but not enough to really notice. I threw the towels away and leaned in toward the mirror, locking eyes with the beauty I saw there.

“What in the hell are you doing?” I asked her. “We cannot be … enticed … by Lee Taylor. He is a guy. We are a guy. We are not gay.”

The girl looking back at me mouthed the words in perfect synch with me. Though her breathy alto was the only voice that was audible. She also seemed to have a superior expression on her face. One that said that if we were gay, we’d be getting flushed being around Sarah.

“Oh, shut up,” I told her. “You went out on one freaking date with the guy. That’s not quite enough time for you to start getting all revved up in his company.” I crossed my arms over my chest, pouting at her. “I won’t have it.”

Just then, I heard a buzzing sound emanating from the purse at my feet. Leaning down, I reached inside and pulled out my phone. When I turned it over, the caller ID read “HBIC”.

I rolled my eyes. Of course Penny would consider Jen to be the Head Bitch in Charge.

The phone continued to ring as I stared at it. Should I answer? What if Jen asked me something that I couldn’t answer. Like what routines I was planning on putting the squad through in her absence. Or why I wasn’t at the Clubhouse earlier?

What if she was calling because she found out about me and Lee?

“Better answer it,” I told myself. “Tenacious bitch like that will just keep calling and calling, getting more pissed each time you don’t pick up.”

The good news was that her call had pumped some much-needed ice water into my motor.

Sighing, I swiped my thumb across the face of the screen and put the phone to my ear.

“Hello, Jen,” I said, trying to sound like I didn’t want to tell her to go for a swim in a Great Lake.

The voice that came through the earpiece dripped with malice and fury. It was the kind of voice one might imagine the monster under the bed possessed. Something that could incite fear with just a whisper.

“Hello, Penelope,” Jennifer Winters said. “Or, would you prefer Sam?”