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Chapter 05
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Takeout boxes stuffed with Thai food caked the tables on either side of the room. Warren alternated between eating his food and examining the bracelet that Trash Knuckle handed him. It was golden with a set of green jewels embedded in it. Their strange had ally found it while raiding one of the last pocket dimensions belonging to a band of evil mystics, which was now powerless. It was strange that they would have had this.

“You said this turns you into a beautiful woman?” Warren asked.

“That’s what it did when I put it on. What? What else was I going to do with a nice trinket that I found lying around?” The big man, often regarded by law and media alike as a villain, was as unapologetic as ever.

“Well, thanks for handing it over. It’s good to know you have the good sense not to just run off with it.”

“I only returned it because I didn’t want it. Besides, I almost ran off to join those Arachne twerps, but those guys were pathetic.”

Mary spoke with a dry tone, “I had a feeling that was your work. Something about the barely conscious ones crying about a bad odor.” She paused for a beat. “Wait a minute, how did you even get so close without your stink aura? You didn’t completely fall for them like you did for us, did you?”

Trash Knuckle laughed. “Funny thing about that, I don’t really know. I put that thing on, and suddenly people wanted to be close to me.”

“Plays with all of the senses,” Warren murmured, “or possibly abilities. I have some ideas for this thing, but I need to run some tests. Would you be interested in helping out with that?”

“Sorry, but Trash Knuckle doesn’t work very well with the science stuff. The last time I tried an experiment, my high school burned to the ground in the middle of a snowy winter. North Dakota still doesn’t want me coming back. Not that that stopped me when I found another of those crazy realms belonging to the Circle’s demons. I took some pictures of me busting some heads and wrecking that odd structure of theirs if you want to see them.”

“That’s quite alright. At least we know that the Circle won’t be causing too much trouble any time soon.”

Four months ago, the League and Trash Knuckle had faced a massive force consisting of mages, demons, and evil spirits. They won because they took out an arch demon as well as a temple that acted as the generator for evil spirits. It sounded to Warren like Trash Knuckle had found another of those temples and obliterated it on his own.

Trash Knuckle was often called a villain, but the worst he had ever done was pick fights with numerous heroes and villains, and cause more in property damage than the average villain. The guy had even picked a fight with Captain Patriot once, and hearing Trash Knuckle’s side of the story was exhausting. Still, the League did try to keep their distance when possible, including sending Trash Knuckle out to take down bad guys and making it sound like an opportunity for the man to throw a party.

Sooner or later, they were going to run out of targets and excuses.

“I like you guys, but I’m actually thinking of moving to another country.” Or Trash Knuckle could give everyone a surprising left hook.

In another example of the universe’s love for great timing, Warren heard a ring coming from Mary’s phone. She had just received a text message, and Mary went to see who it was. She rolled her eyes at the message, and returned to her seat next to Kyra.

“Who was it?” asked Kyra.

“Oh, just a friend,” Mary responded.

“You have friends outside of the League?”

“Besides a couple of our mothers, your own included? Not many, apparently.”

Trash Knuckle crammed a container’s worth of food into his mouth before belching, and he said, “It’s time to go. Thanks for the food. Let me know if you want to party sometime in the next couple weeks.”

He left out the window, and flew off. Meanwhile, the ladies were still enjoying an inane conversation about their contact lists.

“Go on, tell me who your mystery friend is.”

“You first.”

“Come on.”

“No you.”

Warren swallowed his current bite of food, and said, “Computer, how is that wall project doing?”

“Project thirty-seven, project forty-two, or project one hundred. Eighteen?”

“The sound barrier one.”

“Project thirty-seven is 100% collected. And. 0% constructed.”

“Excuse me, everyone, I have some work to do.”

“Whatever happened to that one hero you kept running into a while back?”

“Stop it.”

“Saelum Blaster? Ha, you’re blushing!”

“You’re sleeping on the couch tonight.”

"What couch?"

Hockey masks with bird feathers sticking out of the sides. That had to be a new one, as far as Adamast could tell.

There was a group of shoplifters and burglars working one street at night. Saelum Blaster had been doing his detective work, and waited for the criminals to strike here tonight. Adamast Cross came along by invitation.

Both heroes flanked the burglars who were outside. At the first shop she passed, Adamast stomped on the main entrance using her ice powers, and it created a blockade to stop the one man still inside. This allowed her to swing a good number of punches and kicks into the outdoor crowd of bad guys without anyone getting away.

At the second shop, she was faced with a big guy who looked like tonight was the only exercise he got all year. Adamast would have felt sorry for him if not for his poor life choices. Also unlucky for the big guy: Adamast had super strength to go with her ice powers. This was just the first time she used it all evening.

She picked up the big guy, and then hurled him at the duo of gun-wielding crooks aiming at Saelum from behind.

Saelum and Adamast met halfway, and tucked into the alley once they saw that the bad guys were all unconscious. Then they kissed passionately, Adamast wrapping one leg up against Saelum’s side.

“Hi,” she said to him with much of her breath stolen just now. “Whoa, and hello to you too.”

The man’s bulge was daring, tonight. Saelum said, “I want you.”

“I know you do, but you know I can’t. Even that kiss, we’re not supposed to get this far.”

“These mixed signals can drive a guy mad, you know. You say you can’t, but you’re still all over me.”

Adamast got back down to both feet on the ground. Reluctantly! She had been trying to keep their friendship as just that for a few months, and it fondled fate every time they were together like this. So then she lifted up on her toes and kissed Saelum on the cheek like she had originally intended.

“How’s that for mixed signals?” she asked.

“How’s a loaf of bread in a bakery?” he quipped back.

“Now that you mention it, I could go for a cinnamon roll and some tea.”

“There’s no hope for you.”

“Says a man who knows my history and still wants me.” She smirked at him, then turned her head when the familiar red and blue lights came. The police finally arrived. “Come on, let’s go grab something to eat and drink.”

“Can I have a moment to let this thing die down a bit?”

“Spandex, dude!”

Sometimes they went out for a drink together. Ohm Wire once or twice called them lame, jokingly, for loving tea as much as they did. Adamast offered to introduce her to some of her favorite brews sometime, but she declined.

“So you never told me where you work,” Saelum said while they sat in a corner of the Escapist. Barely anyone else was in the establishment, and the few that were were other heroes minding their own business at the moment.

Adamast finished swallowing some tea, and considered stuffing her mouth with more food to put off answering for a moment. “We’re still in costume, and in public.”

“I doubt anyone’s listening, given where we are.” He indicated with one hand the corner of the establishment at which they sat, and the few other people present were far enough away to require listening devices or super hearing.

“Famous last words. The next thing you know, some space pirate rocking a cybernetic parrot, with the manliest beard ever of its own, uses the information to brainwash little children into eating sugar-glazed kale for breakfast, and the parents are so confused they gladly turn over the world, forcing us to listen to the worst music artists to come down from another planet’s Canada. Then we’re unable to do anything about it but quip endlessly about who used the last of the toilet paper until the end of time.”

“OK, 'What?' and secondly, I’m pretty sure at least one of our Canadian ‘singers’ already came from another world.”

“Yeah, you might be right about her.” Adamast brought the tea cup up to her lips.

“I work at Founder’s Creek Intermediate.”

Cue the spit-take; poor Saelum. Adamast handed him some napkins, and said, “I’m sorry. I work at Steel Canyon as one of the gym teachers.”

“How did I miss that?” Saelum continued to look amused by her while he wiped the tea from his face.

“Which subject do you teach?”

“A man’s got to keep some secrets. Besides, this means a certain someone with the last name of Curry could receive some flowers from a secret admirer.”

“Nice detective work, Mr. Sullivan.” Her saying that certainly surprised him. Adamast held up her head with her palm, her elbow based on the remarkably sturdy table that she swore was smaller than her skirt.

“You found that out. And said it in public.”

“It’s a good thing only heroes come in here, and this place is nearly empty.”

Saelum’s face contorted with some level of thought. “Touché!” He slouched back in his seat while Adamast ate her roll. It took a moment for him to say anything again. “I teach basic levels of French and Spanish. It’s a fun gig, even if I rarely see the same students both semesters, and none of them really signed up for it.”

“Note to self: send sexy French maid who speaks nothing but Spanish.”

“Hey.”

“Sorry, old habit. Working with the League doesn’t help.”

“How did you join them, anyways?”

“I auditioned for it six years ago, the middle of next month. I thought it was odd that someone would put up paper flyers around town advertising openings for a super group, so I figured, ‘What the heck?’ I almost didn’t make it on time. A villain hijacked a school bus full of children, and I had to take care of it instead of going straight to the auditions between classes.”

“You couldn’t skip class?”

“It was my last year of college. I figured it was bad enough that I was taking time off of studying to save lives around the city.”

“You graduated college at the age of twenty?”

“Bachelor’s and all.”

“Impressive. Now you’re in charge of a bunch of kids’ physical education.”

“Among other things. I’m so glad we’re still on Summer break right now, because next week I’m going to be exhausted. So, what about you? When did you start doing the hero thing?”

“Over a year ago. I had a student whom I kept having to confiscate comics from, so I looked at them and thought, ‘Why not?’”

“Your student never suspected anything?”

“The kid is now my arch nemesis with a volcanic lair on the moon and a death ray aimed at my house if I fail any of his friends in class, or forget to feed his fifty foot hamster with a peg leg.” His eyes were rolled back, and his tone was dry.

But it was the pure absurdity that made Adamast laugh.

Sensual moans and other sounds echoed through the hallway, which seemed to tilt one way or the other with every step Mary took toward her room. She heard a man and a woman beyond her own door, and feared what she might find when she opened it.

Yet, it had to be done, and she turned the knob without another thought. The man grunted then. Mary recognized him right when his grunting became a scream, and his body began to deteriorate beneath the other woman. The man who looked like Saelum was gone, dust, and the other woman turned her wicked stare toward Maryann.

She had horns and ashen hair, but her features were otherwise similar to Mary’s. She knew this woman.

“Hello, Maryann,” said the succubus.

Fear hit Mary so hard that she sat up in a sweat. Suddenly, she was in her bed, awake after a bad dream. Mary bent and hugged her legs, and heaved into them before looking over at Kyra, who was asleep and had her back turned tonight.

Mary loved Kyra too much, and hoped she would never lose her. Damn her confused feelings, and damn the amount of teasing Kyra did with her lately.

She lied back down on her side. Mary kissed her girlfriend on the neck, laying an arm over Kyra’s side.