Ord Mantell

The planet was not as easy to get to as the ship had to take the Namadii Corridor and then the Celanon Spur. This slowed downed the ship as they were not like the Hydian Way hyperlanes that had constant updates to keep them fast. Still, the weeklong trip was a nice way to relax and get to know the crew. I felt I would get to like each of them in time. Kira seemed to get on Lt. Zetta's nerves quickly, but other than that they were a solid crew. As we came out of hyperspace we maneuvered to the station and I felt the planet's struggle. It was as if the place was in pain, so this is what war felt like? This was so much different from the battles on Tython and on Coruscant. This made me wonder if each planet was different in the Force?

"General Var Suthra is calling on the holoterminal." Kira reported.

"Strange that he would know exactly when we dropped into the system." I replied as we went to the station. I was expecting it so it would have been odd if he didn't call, but seeing that he did I pushed it to the back of my mind.

"General we have arrived at Ord Mantell." I stated.

"Perfect timing. I've just finished coordinating things with my men on the ground there. SIS Agent Ottau followed the enemy transmissions to a specific location planetside. He'll give you the full details. Your T7 unit can interface with Darth Angral's hyperspace data transceiver and download his communications." Var Suthra ordered. "Take the droid with you."

"T7 = oiled + charged + ready for action." He added.

"Hmph. Guess I will be playing dejarik against myself while you have all the fun." Kira stated. She was really wanting to go.

"Take a shuttle to the surface and meet Agent Ottau. Good hunting. Var Suthra out." he ordered.

"I've visited my share of seedy ports, but this one's the seediest. Just as well I'm staying behind. I'll make sure nobody steals our landing thrusters." Kira stated.

"Kira you are coming with me. He may give the orders, but he doesn't say who I take with him. Lt Zetta can handle any thieves." I replied.

"Wait you want me to go with you?" She asked.

"Why wouldn't I. Now come." I answered. "We have some gear to get and a shuttle to catch. Kira beamed in the Force and it really made even the crew a bit happier. I just hoped I didn't mess something up. As I took time to think about this on the way down to the planet I remembered that the inquisitor didn't really do much more than call Darth Angral to the planet and have her interrogated. Being with me would not lead him here or the inquisitor either. Then again it just might. The thought of fighting Angral here was nice, but I knew he would send one of his lackey's first in any event. Ferav's name popped into my head and I had to smile.

After talking to Agent Ottau, getting to the island was a bit harder than in the game. Between the artillery and fighting a few of the combatants it took four hours to get to the island. The place had a few more imperials there then in the game, and I was glad I had Kira with me. Her ability to go into stealth was needed more times than expected. I could hide in the Force similar to stealth, but not for long. However, T7 couldn't, and he didn't like staying out of sight for long. Though long enough for us to get the drop on most of the groups we came across. Lt. Marcovic didn't even see us coming, and was one of the few imperials to survive. T7 down loaded everything the computer had. T7 beeped away while he got to work.

"Desolator that doesn't sound good." Kira stated.

"No, it isn't. Not for the Republic that is." Inquisitor Ferav replied. "But you will not live long enough to let the poor Republic know. Darth Angral is waiting for me to bring back your head's." We both spun around to see the Sith and his men.

"Ah Ferav I was wondering if you would show up." I stated. The Sith took a step back hearing me call out his name. Kira glanced at me and I realized she didn't know what I did. I should tell her.

"Interesting you know my name." He paused to think and that is when I threw both lightsabers at him. I had taken him by surprise twice, and the battle went a bit easier. I felt more than a few blaster bolts hit my armor. However, as we fought he got stronger until Kira ran him through the back while I took out one of the others as did T7.

"What a waste." I growled.

"Master how did you know his name?" Kira asked.

"Because I just know. I will explain later." I replied as I took a step forward and winced. One of those shots had hit the back of my leg where the armor was thinner. "Shit that hurts."

"Master?" Kira questioned with concern.

"Let's go, I'll heal when we get back to the ship." I replied. I could deal with being sore or tired, but the burning of a blaster was something I hadn't dealt with. Plus the looks Kira was giving me were more than just concern. She was acting wary? Could she think I am not a Jedi? No, it had to be something else? I wondered if she could handle what I knew? Once we entered the ship T-7 went to the bridge as Kira and I went to the medical bay.

"Master several things have been bothering me. Of all the jedi I have worked with you are very different. Emotional is what sticks out the most almost as if you are using your emotions while you fight?" I thought about how I should respond to this. She was a lot more observant than I thought. Could it be that I was finally getting through to her to stop following the script?

"Now that looks like a nasty blaster burn and right on the back of your pretty leg." We both looked at Tansy and she smoothly glided in. Her interruption was helpful in that I didn't have to further explain my actions or m views on the Force. That I was slowly realizing this was somehow all a game to me made me shiver as Tansy helped tend to our wounds. Yet I didn't think I would be able to hold off during the week long trip back to Coruscant. Correction Taris and maybe the Fondor escort mission or Hammer Station. The wound bothered me as we headed to the holoterminal to report on what we found. I was worried about all the options I had available. Time was the worst factor as I figured we would only have so much time before something happened true it had been only a few weeks since realizing I was more than just a jedi. I sighed as Kira activated the holoprojector. I knew why more than ever knowing the future is a terrible curse. Damned if you do and change something or damned if you don't and let people die knowing you could have saved them.

"Transmitting files now." T-7 beeped and brought me back to the present.

"General looks like Tarnis was combining all your weapon projects together to create a Desolator weapon. From what we gathered he will arm his cruiser with it."

"Then it is no coincidence I've lost contact with Agent Galen. The enemy is raiding our weapon research facilities to build that device."

Darth Angral already has the other weapons under control. Agent Galen walked into a trap."

"We can't let Darth Angral complete this Desolator weapon, whatever it is. I need your help to stop him. Securing Nar Shaddaa is vital, but there in another target just as important on Taris."

"You have another super-weapon on Taris you didn't tell us about?"

"I'd rather not say until you're there."

"I will head to Taris first. I am sure that mission will go quickly. I have a Force warning for Uphrades and Tython. I fear Darth Angral will test his weapon at either location first. I would put a fleet at both locations."

"I won't risk the enemy finding out about this."

"General you have to. If Uphrades is attacked, the planet will be destroyed. Twelve million people will die and billions or Coruscant will starve. Other agricultural planets will need to be guarded as well. Best to protect the ones feeding Coruscant first."

"I can't just split up the fleet or reduce current fleet to protect a bunch of agriworlds. I can see moving a ship or two to Tython. I will need more than a warning to convince command."

"A warning coming from a jedi you would ignore?" Kira looked ready to jump through the holo to get to him.

"Kira enough. If the general won't believe us, then that is his decision. However, I am sure leaking all the information on the weapons projects to the senate in full would motivate you even more."

"Do that and you will be arrested for treason." I smiled feeling him get angry.

"Then I suggest general you do what you can for Uphrades, cause if I find the planet burned by Darth Angral then you will have more to worry about than just mind controlled cyborgs and old doctors that don't want to work with you or the ensuing quakes from Tatooine and Alderaan will surely death mark you."

"Okay fine I will do what I can. How you know all this..." Var Suthra hung his head running his hand over the top. I could see he was thinking hard, as he debated with the information I hinted at having. He sighed and then looked back up. "You put me in a really difficult position."

"No. General you did this to yourself."

"When you reach Taris or Nar Shaddaa contact me, and good luck." He disconnected and then I sighed before leaning against the terminal.

"Master will Uphrades really burn? Did you see this in a vision?"

"Kira I saw it many times. Over and over. Look I need to lay down go tell the drew to head to Taris and check the comms. Look for any messages for referring to Fondor or Hammer Station. Then come back to my cabin, and we will talk."

Telling Kira

"Master something tells me I am not going to like what you are about to tell me." I held back the smile that came to my lips as I signaled Kira to meditate with me. Clarity on exactly how much I should tell her hasn't come to me. How do you tell someone that you are not the original person that lived in this body? Or that I believed I was just playing a game only in as if I was living it? Then there was the fact that I had felt all these deaths I had caused was weighing heavily conflicted with the belief that this wasn't real. However, I had to believe it was real, or I was surely going to go insane.

"Ever play a video game that was so detailed it drew you in and it felt like you were living it?"

"Like the Croyden system I read about once there is an entire city that is nothing but a game. Though for the people in the game, everything is real enough."

"Maybe, this is to me virtual reality. A reality that is run on a computer and that you can play over and over. Not that I have repeated it this way now, but I played a game that contained everything we or I have done since I landed on Tython. I followed along at first, but now I can't play the game. Yet I am afraid to break it. If I break it or die I feel that it will go really bad. However, there maybe a point where everything resets. Then again not everything is following what I know."

"I am not really understanding." I sighed and Kira felt a bit more reserved than she was usually.

"Kira I know you were a child of the emperor." Kira suddenly stood up as fear surrounded her. "Please sit down. That is in your past and I will explain."

"You haven't told anyone?"

"Why should I? You are a jedi. I trust you with watching my back, my life, I want to teach you, but I want to learn from you as well." Kira knelt back down and I had her full attention now. "This is a problem for me. If Uphrades dies, millions will go with the planet. Not knowing this will not bother me, but that I do know means that I can do something to prevent it. I am not one to let things go just so that I continue to know what will happen."

"But sometimes you can't change the future."

"No you can't but this time I can. I really hope I can in more ways than one. To me this ship and everyone in it is a game I played many times with several different characters. Sanusha, Ingo, Cort are characters I have played as well. Guardian, consular, smuggler, and trooper character classes in this game, but the problem is that I am living this game and I can not see the difference from real life other than I just know what is going to happen over the next five years."

"I understand what you are trying to say and I feel you believe this, but I am real."

"I know Kira you are so real it hurts." I suddenly hugged her, and she barely knew how to react as she slowly wrapped her arms around me. I felt so tired and seeing that she just couldn't believe was painful. I needed her to understand more than anything. I had no idea if I would even like Doc enough to tell him, or that I would be even alive then, but I needed to let this all out.

"Tell me about it. Tell me about who you are and I will do the same." I don't think she really understood what she was asking as I started to cry. With many stops and starts I told her about my life before Tython. About growing up on Earth and Star Wars and what little I remembered about T'aa. It took several days to really tell her everything and for her to open up about her time as a child of the emperor.

"So are we really going to face the emperor directly? This is so exciting."

"I don't want to fall to the darkside."

"But you just told me you wouldn't."

"Kira I am my own person. What I do is my choice. The emperor will take that choice away from me. Unless..." I thought about a certain planet and if it was real then just maybe? The ship intercom crackled to life.

"Sorry to bother you, but we just got an emergency call from fleet."

"Be right there Lt. Miro. We'll talk about this later." We both went to the bridge, and they all looked at us. If I was wearing makeup, it would have been obvious, but I think Tansy saw that I had been crying.

"Got a message that any available ships to help out at Fondor. Since Kira was looking for it. However, it would be weeks before we could get to it. The same with Hammer station, but the main reason I called you up here was that Havoc is handled the station, and that Herald Rift was reported at Fondor along with Dream Runner."

"That is Sanusha's and Cort's ships?"

"Yes they are. I wonder how they managed to make it that far from Coruscant so quickly?"

"Oh it is much easier to run that way then it is around here. By the time we make it to Taris they will meet us there within the same day. I called, because they sent messages to you to meet them there."

"I was actually hoping to join one of those battles." The crew looked confused, but not as much as I was. How could the others have gone to Hammer Station without my help?

Javaal Mission and Family

"However we did get a message that is quite close. Javaal fleet is being attacked, we could get there in time."

"Only if you have already set course will we help." The crew grinned as we came out of hyperspace right in the middle of battle.

"Shields up and get those quad cannons roaring."

"Already firing." You could feel the cannons as they opened up. Kira quickly took her seat at comms and I the captain's chair as the others were taken. Then again I was technically the Captain. I sure didn't feel like I was as Lt. Miro was barking out all the orders as we dodged ice and Plasma fire.

"Watch out for those fighters they are better than the rest." My hand tapped away at the keys as I set target priority for them. Our supply of missiles ticked away as we fought the outer fighter defensive screen.

"Lt. Miro save the missiles for the frigates and don't use the torpedoes unless a cruiser is in our sights."

"Yes Captain." I slowly felt useful during the battle, but also excited watching another thing I never expected to ever witness in multiple life times. I guided the battle and slowly the Force backed up my memory. The Imperial Agent ship revealed itself along with several wings of fighters. The crew sent out a spread of missiles and Miro glanced once at me and I nodded, as my finger released the proton torpedo that destroyed the X-70B. I felt the crew on that ship wink out as they died. We came back around to see the cruisers and wove through them destroying their shield to allow our too few capital ships an easier target. Miro knew how to fly and dodge like Bendu's Way was a fighter. She lined up the final shot and I followed the torpedo straight into the bridge with the Force.

"What a shot!" Flint shouted.

"Get back on your screens we are far from out of here."

"Yes ma'am." I was just as excited as they felt and it was the biggest and baddest roller coaster I had ever been on. I was sure that each hit would tear the ship apart killing us all.

"Thank you for the assist there Bendu's Way. Thought we would have to run."

"You are welcome. The Force was with us."

"Admiral Curt Dodonna here. I would like you to join us for a little victory celebration, but I don't know who to invite." The crew looked at me as I began to laugh. Somehow the man looked very familiar to me as flashes of a childhood that wasn't mine featured him in it.

"Gladly Admiral it will be a pleasure catching up. I am Jedi Knight T'aa Onasi and this is my Padawan Kira Carsen." The recognition grew on his face and then slowly replaced by shock.

"T'aa Onasi? By the Force you have gotten big. A Jedi knight? Never thought your family had any of those." I felt a double meaning. I knew he had known even back then that I should have been a boy. The Onasi family and the Dodonna family mixed together on the military side as much as we mixed with the Shan family on the Jedi side. I regretted my acceptance of his offer of dinner as I slowly remembered other things about him. He wasn't too fond of what T'aa's or should I say my parents did. Maybe he shouldn't be so bad as that was how T'aa felt. However, that was not how I felt as I had accepted who I was now. I was glad that the holo went blank, but concerned as I looked at Kira.

"Sorry, should I have not done that?"

"Probably not. Lt. Miro take us in to the Pride's hanger bay."

"Yes captain." Now that felt good to hear as she really felt I was the captain now.

"I hate politics." Braddie mumbled sending the other two into a laughing fit.

"What's so funny?" They looked at Kira and started laughing again as Braddie blushed. I didn't think the ensign's comment warranted embarrassment.

~ o ~ O ~ o ~

"Welcome aboard Master Jedi." Curt reached out to take my hand as if I was a lady at court while both of us bowed as was the jedi custom. He looked scorned for a second until I shocked him by giving him a hug.

"What, you don't think I wouldn't remember a distant cousin?"

"I remembered a different cousin one who wasn't so..." He stopped as a bit of color marked his cheeks.

"Grown up or are you forgetting that I was just a toddler the last time I remember seeing you?" He frowned then chuckled.

"Forgive me my memory must not be as it was. I just remember many of my kin on the Onasi side being tall and well..." He stopped looking confused as he felt a wack on the back of his head and no one close enough to have hit him.

"Do you remember who you are talking to." I was grinning like I just took his cookie after winning a bet. He frowned but then chuckled again.

"Ah well shall we move on? I would like to show you around a bit before we dine and to also give the flight crew time to reload and help with any damage your ship received."

"Of course lead on admiral." The dinner was uneventful and most of the conversation revolved around the current political and military situation. Much of it had not been personal unless it involved my friends. Now that I was with family it had changed. These were not my memories, but try as I might I couldn't deny them. This cousin or distant aunt getting married or dying. Talking about past family events. It gave me chills or mirth depending on the story. During a small break I was looking out of the large bay window. Really just a video screen, but the detail was beyond perfect, peaceful.

"Little T'aa, you have impressed me. Not only did you come to our aid you turned the battle in our favor. I was stunned when you hugged me considering the last words I had with your parents." The argument flashed in my mind of three very angry adults. I was ten and just won a martial arts tournament. My feeling of victory lost as they argued about my budding breasts. Other memories of me confiding in him that I wanted to be a boy again. How he wanted to support me and how all it did was drive a wedge between us all. A gap I am sure was still in effect.

"I do, as the Force guides me."

"I wasn't speaking of the Force. Do you still have problems? I know it has been years, but it has never sat right with me what your parents did."

"I accepted long ago I could never go back. Even with medical intervention it was too late to be more than a coping mechanism. The Force helped as I had something few others can grasp."

"The Force can still not let you feel comfortable. I have studied enough about the subject that it can effect everything, no matter how much you bury it."

"Curt, I am female down to the very cycle. I have ups and downs like anyone. I can have a child and I look forward to it. This is me and this is my body. I am as one with myself as I am with the Force."

"Then I do not know you. I remember you'd do all sorts of reckless actions just to get attention." I remembered several as they flashed through my mind.

"Curt, Admiral I have never felt more whole than at any time during my life. We are all more than this shell that we call a body. Spiritual beings having a physical experience."

"Is this more of your Jedi wisdom?"

"No. Though, there is something you need to do. Talk to my parents tell them I love them and that you accept me for being me." I handed him a data stick. "I have neglected to send them word on how I was doing. Give this to them when you see them." I hugged him lightly as he stiffened up. He still didn't accept me. I gave him a peck on the cheek and strangely he blushed. I saved him his dignity by not showing I noticed. As much as he outwardly accepted me I felt he still burned with anger and revulsion. Not as much as in the past. Only diminished by the need to be politically correct when dealing with a Jedi of the Order.