All I can say is that I was sort of there listening to what was said, although I wasn't conciously aware at the time due to the drugs they had pumped into me at some point to help stabilize me. I did know that my injuries were quite serious, but I didn't know everything yet.

On some level, though, I could hear quite a bit of what was being said or happening around me, like trays being picked up?

One voice sounded like my dad, Joseph Tinker, he's the only lawyer we have in our small band. The voice that sounded like his was saying, "So, doc, there's damn near nothing you can do to fix the damage to his genitals? What the heck is he supposed to do, live like that?"

Yeah, that sounds like dad. When he gets pissed about something, he'll get right in your face and let you know point blank.

The next voice I guess was the doc, but it was too low and too quiet for me to understand anything that was said.

The third voice was the shocker, though. Sammi Buckhorn was here, wherever here was? Oh, man, this is soooo not good!

Apparently, that was when I climbed out of whatever state of awareness I had been in and tried to rejoin the land of the living.

Oh, wow, that's quite the headache. Did they have to pump me up with that much medication? Something must be really, really wrong here...

It took a fair bit of effort, but I managed to get both hands up by my head and held it in my hands for a few minutes, maybe a little longer.

I looked around, well, as well as I could. I was obviously on some sort of hospital stretcher, the smells said hospital, too.

Dad was standing just inside the door and immediately looked my way when the monitors went off, telling everyone that I was awake.

Two nurses and a doctor came hustling into the room at just about the time when I let go of my head. The lights were irritating me. Ugh!

One of the nurses, with a name tag saying Julie on it, noticed my reaction to the lights and picked up a thin cloth that had been lying on a table on the side of the bed opposite from where dad was standing. She gently laid that over my eyes, which brought out a sigh of relief.

I managed to mutter the words "bad headache" just loud enough to be heard by the nurses and the doctor, who was standing by the end of the bed, looking up toward me. He seemed to be looking at two or three machines around the bed, monitors of various kinds, I assume.

The second nurse said she would be back in a moment with some Tylenol® and a cup of water. I relaxed for a minute or two, just waiting.

He sounded fairly old, maybe it was the gravelly voice as he introduced himself, "Hi, Will, I'm Dr. Kinson, I'm the lead doctor on your medical situation. I have Dr. Alliston working with me," he waved behind him and a woman perhaps ten years younger entered the room and stopped just past dad as I briefly lifted the cloth covering my eyes to look around, before sighing again and replacing it. Damn those lights hurt.

That was when the second nurse returned, handed me two Tylenol® and gently steered the cup to my lips so I could take the pills.

Once I had had about half of the glass, I pushed it away. I could just barely hear her put the half-empty cup on a hard surface nearby.

I cleared my throat and spoke, "Okay, Doctors, I have a fair idea of what initially happened due to the first fall. To be blunt, I saw what the heck that impact did, and I screamed like a girl for a while, then that trunk broke under me and I hit the ground on top of it before blacking out. Now, just by the fact that you haven't actually said anything, I'm getting the idea that something else is wrong. Care to bring me up to date?"

The older doctor, Dr. Kinson, shook his head and chuckled, "Let me just say that what happened when you hit that piece of trunk the second time as it and you reached the ground was rather gruesome. You see, you shifted as you fell, just enough that you landed directly on your scrotal sac. From the tests we did when you arrived here earlier this afternoon, your testicles were both shattered, much like smashed grapes."

I hadn't noticed mom as she slipped into the room and up beside the bed. I did notice when she clasped my hand in hers.

Now, mom hasn't had any medical training whatsoever, but she's tended me and my little brother Wesley whenever we were sick with the flu or something. She saw me as I turned my head, and with her free hand, grabbed a urinary pan from a nearby table and put it under my chin.

She had it there just in time, as a few seconds after that, I lost what little food was still in my belly, spewing it all into that pan.

I could feel my body shaking from the emotional and psychological stress of what I had just been told. It was definitely not good news.

I slowly and carefully laid back on the hospital bed, willing myself to slow down and center my inner spirit. Soul? I'm not sure honestly. What I do know is that there is some sort of inner presence that, when I take time to actually center myself, feels more balanced, happier, even?

Once I had calmed down enough to enunciate clearly, I spoke again, "Okay, Doc, I know my penis is probably beyond repairing. Finding out that my testicles were destroyed like that wasn't much fun for me, as you just noticed. So, Doc, just what are my options now?"

Dr. Kinson just stood there for a moment, saying nothing, then let out a low, brief chuckle. "You have a lot of guts, spunk, whatever you want to call it, Will. As for the options on what we can do, there aren't a lot. You're right, there's so much damage to your penis that, if we could repair it and ensure that it would be functional again, you'd have to find it with your fingers, it would be that small, that short.

"In all honesty, though, we've had three different surgeons take a look at it and all three said it was too damaged to realistically repair it. That leaves us with two options, remove it and leave you basically a neutered male, with a redirected urinary tract so you can handle that bodily function in a fairly normal manner... or remove the penis, then use some tissue from your colon and create a vaginal cavity.

"That last option would mean you would appear to be physically female down there, but would function in a normal manner otherwise."

"Oh, lovely," I groaned as the headache spiked briefly, then began to ebb. It seemed the Tylenol® was finally having an effect on it. "So, if I want to be physically male, or as close to it as I could be, I'd be a neuter, a eunuch, or you turn me inside out and make a vagina."

I briefly removed the cloth from my eyes, then dropped it on my lap. The lights were still irritating, but they weren't bothering me like earlier.

I laid there on the bed for a minute or two, trying once again to calm down, then looked at my parents. "Dad, mom, what do you think?"

Mom spoke first, "Dr. Kinson and Dr. Alliston were speaking with us about this before you woke up, dear. It's their opinion, and that of the three surgeons they brought in to look at you, that the best option would be to create a vagina, removing all the damaged male bits."

Then dad added, standing behind mom with his hand on her shoulder, "That doesn't mean you have to become all girl on us, Will. Actually, even if you did go that route operation wise, you could still live your life as a male, you could even get testosterone treatments."

Mom spoke again, "Or you can have that operation and become a girl. Girl, boy, no matter what, we'll still love you, you're our eldest child."

I asked if everyone could leave for ten or fifteen minutes so I could think without anyone distracting me.

I spent a bit longer than ten or fifteen minutes thinking after everyone had left the room, but this deserved as much thought as I could give it.

One of the monitors was turned just enough toward me that I could see the time displayed in one corner of the screen, 6:08 PM.

We'd headed up that hill just after 9:30 AM, using three four wheel four seat ATVs plus Donny, James and Andy had brought their mountain bikes. The first tremor had hit at 10:51 AM, after we had been up there for about an hour, the next two within a minute or so of the first.

Somehow, I had been picked up and brought here to wherever here was. I only knew it was a hospital because of the distinctive smells.

Finally, after what ended up being nearly half an hour, I made my decision. I would have to live with it for the rest of my life.

I hit the call button, and when the nurse showed up, I asked her to get the two doctors and my parents and bring them to the room.

She nodded and scurried out, returning two or three minutes later with the doctors, my parents, and... Sammi Buckhorn. Oh, boy!

Sammi again... oowhee...Sammi is a year younger than I am, not quite sixteen to my nearly seventeen, and seriously pretty, heck, gorgeous!

We've been sort of dating since a week after the spring equinox. She's a really nice girl, I hope she can handle what I'm about to say.

Once everyone had figured out where they wanted to stand, I nodded and began to speak to them.

"Dr. Kinson, Dr. Alliston, thank you for your work and your efforts. It's not going to be easy for me to cope with what I've decided to do, but I'm not the sort to waffle once a decision has been made. Build me a vagina, but Docs... I want testosterone treatments, too."

Mom and dad nodded, I could see they weren't surprised. I wonder how they knew what I would decide? Maybe I'll ask them later.

Dr. Kinson also nodded, "I think you've made the right decision, Will. Now I'll go and get everything organized."

He nodded again, turned and left the room, heading who knows where?

Dr. Alliston smiled at me, "You'll be fine, Will. We have an excellent medical team here."

I shook my head, then replied, "That's all nice and good that everyone seems happy with it, but Doc, just where in the heck am I?" I suppose the rising growl in my voice as I spoke to her made her aware that I was just slightly annoyed, no, rather annoyed, at the moment.

She actually giggled as she answered me, "Oh, you're in a bed in the children's wing of Thunder Bay Regional Health Sciences Centre. The medic on the chopper that brought you to us was saying they were initially headed to the hospital in Nipigon, but came here instead."

Medic? On a chopper? Ooooh, that must have been one of the three guys that lives by a lake about fifteen miles southeast of our camp.

"Ahhhh, the medic was likely Alec Quince, he's taken several medical courses online, I guess you''d call him a nurse practitioner if he had an actual degree, but he doesn't yet. The chopper would be one of two that Alec, his brother Frank and their cousin Darren own."

The comment about Alec, etc., actually came from dad. He talks to them over the ham radio set we have two or three times a week.

Sammi was staring at me. To be honest, in some ways, I often felt like a fish out of water around her.

She carefully stepped past my parents, then leaned over and gave me a huge hug, whispering softly, "I'll always be by your side, Will."

Well, that most definitely got a reaction of some sort from me. Whatever it was apparently set off one of the machines in the room.

Dr. Alliston moved over to stand by it, then shook her head and chuckled before she said, "You're fine, Will, you're just fine."

I looked at her with a look of "are you nuts?", throwing a brief glance down at my pelvic region, then back to her. She blushed beet red.

"Will, when I said that, I wasn't referring to what happened to you, but to your reaction to whatever she said," as she pointed to Sammi.

I spent a half hour or so talking to my parents and to Sammi. Knowing Sammi still wanted to be with me made a big, big difference.

Then a nurse came into the room, pushing a tray on wheels with what looked like a reheated meal of meatloaf, green beans and potatoes. "Hello, Will, you'll need to finish this before 8 PM; you're not to have anything but water after that time, as they'll be operating tomorrow."

Mom and dad decided to head off to a cheap motel for the night, they said they'd be back around the time I would come out of the operation.

Sammi stayed with me as I ate the food on the tray. It wasn't the best meal I've had by a long shot, but it was edible and fairly warm.

We talked for a good long while after I finished eating, until the nurse said that I needed to get some sleep.

Sammi smiled and kissed me, then turned and sashayed out the door in full hot girl mode. That caused me to giggle, umm, I mean laugh.

Sammi was the last thing on my mind as I drifted off to sleep. Tomorrow, and the operation, would be here all too soon.