A Second Chance

By Dawn Natelle

FRIDAY, June 10, 2016

Rachael woke up a few minutes early. She was making Bobby’s favorite breakfast: French Toast. Grandpa was always up before her, and she helped him into his shirt while the oil was heating. Mom and Geoff were next down, and finally Bobby, whose nose led him into the kitchen.

“French Toast,” he said for a whoop. “But it isn’t Sunday.”

“No,” Rachael said with a smile. She then went over to her brother and engulfed him in a huge hug. “Happy Birthday, 10-year-old boy.”

Hugs from their parents, and then Grandpa followed as Rachael plated the meal. “Is my party today?” Bobby asked.

“Not today, Tiger,” Rachael said. “I am going to the farm after school, and we won’t hold your birthday until Saturday, when the arena opens. You will be able to try the skates that you borrowed from the Stoners.”

“Skating will be fun,” Bobby said glumly. “But I really would like to go to the farm with you.”

“Well, you can’t ride on the middle school bus with Robert and I,” Rachael said, and her brother looked even sadder. “But Mrs. Jackson said we could have a little party there tonight: just our two families, and all your friends among the horses and cows.”

“Whoopie,” Bobby cried. “This will be the best birthday ever.”

Rachael went to school, and not much special happened there. She did get a text from Darla (in Darren mode at his school) thanking her for talking to Doug the night before. She said that they talked until after midnight, and patched things up. Doug, as a member of the bakery team, was invited to the birthday party at the arena, and when Rachael had stopped in during the morning he had asked if Darla could come. Of course Rachael had agreed. In their texting before classes, it was apparent that he had left that as a surprise. Darla just thought that the two of them were going on a makeup date at the arena for public skating Saturday afternoon. Rachael didn’t spoil the secret.

In mid-morning Rachael got a text from Ruby, asking her to bring some friends over at lunch break. Larissa, Mikki, Carly, Rachael and their boyfriends all went to the formerly vacant building. When they got inside, they saw that one of the display cases was installed, looking brand new. The other was still in the shed, being worked on. And there were about eight men from the Hobo Army working on the walk-in cooler and freezer.

“I want to test something Chuck and I have been working on,” Ruby said to the teens. “Spicy hot dogs. There are five levels of spice. ‘A’ is a normal store wiener. We won’t be able to match prices, so we will just sell Schneider’s brand for those. ‘B’ is a little spicier, but mild enough that smaller kids will enjoy it, except the littlest ones. ‘C’ is a bit spicer: I think all of you teens will like it. ‘D’ is hotter still. You have to like spicy food for it. And ‘E’ is our super-spicy brand.

“I’ll try E,” Mark Russett, Larissa’s guy, said. “Me too,” claimed Leon, Carly’s guy.

“I have sliced the dogs in two. They are just boiled wieners: grilled would be tastier. There are two halves in each bun. The first one has a half B and a half C. Then the other one has D and E. All in a steamed bun from Bread Baron.

Mikki and Rachael both got through the first bun, but a single bite of the D type stopped them as too hot. Carly and Larissa liked the D, but wavered at the E. The boys all ate both dogs, although it was clear that Leon and Robert were using male machismo to get through the E. Tony, with his Italian heritage, loved the E, as did Mark. They actually finished off the rest of the girl’s buns.

“Those are great,” Rachael said, as all the teens were drinking milk to dull the fire in their mouths. “You should make up a batch for Bobby’s birthday party tomorrow. How much are they?”

“Well, regular wieners are under $6 a dozen,” Ruby said. “We haven’t set prices yet, but we are thinking $18 a dozen. That’s just $1.50 each. Our small batch production and quality ingredients mean we can’t match the factory dog prices.”

“Make us up a batch of 60,” Rachael said. “Mostly B for the kids, and a few of the others for the adults.”

“And when you officially open, my Mom will be here to buy some of the E,” Mark said. “Those are so awesome. I’d get her to buy them even if they were $10 each.”

After school went out, Rachael got on Robert’s bus, handing a bakery bag to the driver. “Oh, cookies,” she said. “I’m a bit hungry today.”

“Nope,” Rachael said. “Those are Clouds, something new at the bakery. You might want to try one now, and save the rest for Sunday dinner.”

The driver nibbled on three of the buns during the rest of the trip, and when she stopped at the farm to let the kids off, she claimed: “Those are the best buns I’ve ever tasted. I have got to get into your Dad’s bakery.”

Rachael had two more bags of the buns for Mrs. Jackson, but she and Robert then hurried out to the barn, where they saddled up Blackie and Chocky. As they trotted out to the track Robert had set up, he said that he had finally broken 10 minutes for the route. He suggested they race Blacky with Chocky. He knew the mare would never keep up with the stallion, but it would give Blacky a chance to experience a race with other horses.

This meant that they couldn’t keep time, but Rachael on Blacky wasn’t worried about that. She had done the run in 9:12 last week, and if she could race that speed, she would be fine.

The race was from a standing start, and when Robert said “Go” Blacky bolted ahead. He then noticed that there was another horse following him, and he went into a higher gear, pulling away. Chocky was several minutes behind when they got to the start/finish, and Rachael was already halfway through her scan of the stallion’s legs, all of which were fine.

Chocky was completely spent, so Rachael ran Blacky alone for a second lap while Robert took the mare over to the rain barrel that he had set up to allow the horses to drink between laps.

He was back at the finish when Rachael crossed the line. This time he had timed her, and reported that their time was 8:58. “That’s incredible,” Robert said. “You are a full minute ahead of me.”

“I think the first race was even quicker,” Rachael said as she checked the horse’s legs. “He really likes the challenge of running against other horses, and just turns it on. Do you want to run him a lap?”

“Three laps?” Robert said. “I usually only run two with him.”

“It will build his stamina,” Rachael said. “And he will be running several races a day at the Farmer’s Races.”

“Yeah, but not without a rest between,” Robert noted. “But if you think he is ready, I’m game.”

While Robert was running Blacky, Rachael checked over Chocky. She had a few small tears in her leg muscles from the exercise she had taken in the first race, but Rachael was able to focus enough energy into the horse to cure them, and also eased the horse’s pain and exhaustion.

Robert pulled up after doing the lap, looking at his stopwatch. “Damn. I am over 10 again.”

“Come on,” Rachael said. “It is his third run in an hour, what did he do?”

“Only 10:16,” Robert said glumly. “He likes you more than he likes me. He runs faster for you.”

“Maybe a little, but he is still going to win a race for you,” Rachael said. “Why don’t you ride him back to the barn and I’ll ride Chocky.”

They headed back to the barn and when Blacky realized that his girl was riding the other horse, he looked back at them as though offended. Back at the barn, however, Rachael took over the big stallion and rubbed him down. That and an apple seemed to placate him.

They were just about done with the horses at 6:30, when they heard Bobby calling for them in the barn. When he found them, he ran over to Robert, jumping at the older boy. Robert swung him around.

“Oh my,” Robert said, feigning tiredness. “You must be 10 now, you are so much bigger.”

“Am I?” Bobby replied. “I want to grow up big like you.”

“Hah, I’m not big yet,” Robert said leading the boy over to Lisa’s pony. “Just wait until I am as big as JJ.”

Bobby’s eyes went wide. “Do you think I will get that big?”

“I don’t know,” Robert said. “I probably will, because I am his brother. But you don’t have any brothers to compare with.”

Rachael left her boys to head to the farmhouse, where she wanted a quick shower to get rid of the Blacky smell and into the clean clothes she had taken to school that morning in her knapsack. When she finished, she went down to the kitchen where the women were making the meal. There was Maria, Donna, Ruby … and Darla, who ran to Rachael to hug her.

“Thank you so much,” the girl said. “I went home last night and everything was so black and … terrible. Then I got the first text from Doug. It said ‘I’m so stupid.’ It was like a light shining through the blackness. Then he phoned me and we talked for hours. He apologized over and over, and said he would make it up to me. He’s taking me skating tomorrow. I worried about that … my skates are boy skates … but Ruby found some of her old ones, and they fit me pretty well. I think my feet are too big, but Ruby says they are just right in the girl range.”

The women all chatted during the meal preparation. Ruby had brought a roast over for the olds, but since it was Bobby’s birthday, a package of ground beef was provided, and Rachael showed Darla how to make sloppy Joes, Bobby’s favorites. Mike at the bakery had come up with a new Kaiser recipe, with buns that were nearly twice as large as hamburger buns, and tended to sop up the tomato sauce better.

In the meal, it was more than the kids that had sloppy Joes. The twins and everyone younger chose that entrée, although Rachael took a small slice of beef to taste it. Donna cooked it rare, compared to how Rachael and Maria did, and Rachael decided she preferred it that way.

After the meal, there was cake: a birthday cake, with 10 candles that Bobby blew out. “Mike won the contest, so we are having the cake I made tonight,” Geoff noted. The cake was of a boy riding a bicycle.

“It is a great cake, Dad,” Bobby said. “I love it so much. It is the best cake ever.”

“You haven’t seen the one that Mike made yet,” Geoff said. “Even I had to say that his was best. And it is bigger too, so it, plus the leftovers from this one, should be enough for that army of friends you invited to the rink.”

“It’s not an army. It just me and Marc, Luke, and Jerry.”

“And Lisa, and Darla and Doug, Gary, Mom and Dad, Gary, Ruby, Mikki and Danni, and Me,” Rachael said, counting to 15 on her fingers.

“Okay. A small army,” Bobby admitted.

There were gifts afterwards. Most of the people there were going to the skating party on Saturday, and would give their presents then, but Archie, JJ, the twins and the Jacksons all had presents for Bobby, who was used to getting two presents on his birthday, cheaper things from his sister and mother, who both scrimped to save a few dollars for something.

The Jacksons, Donna and Frank, gave Bobby a complete riding outfit and said that it came with unlimited rides on Lisa’s pony. The twins went together and got him a real Stetson cowboy hat, which Bobby immediately put on and could not be convinced to take off. When JJ brought out his gift, Bobby’s eyes lit up. Even while still wrapped, he could see that it was a hockey goalie stick. He tore the paper off the gift and hugged it close to his chest.

Then Archie took over. JJ’s partner admitted that he wasn’t good with gifts, but he said that he was going to give Bobby a heifer that had been born earlier in the week.

“You know what a heifer is, don’t you, Bobby?” Robert prompted.

“Yes. It is a girl cow,” Bobby said, remembering what Robert had taught him. His eyes widened. “You are giving me a cow? Can I take her home?”

“I don’t think we have room for a dairy farm at Grandpa’s house,” Maria laughed. “I think you will need to keep her here with her mamma.”

“But if you come out enough during the summer, I will teach you how to look after her. You can even become a 4-H member. I used to be one until a couple years ago, and Lisa is a member now. I’ve asked, and I can become a junior leader now,” Robert said.

“I want to see my cow,” Bobby said.

That was the end of dinner. Most of the women stayed to clean up, but Rachael, Maria and Darla followed the men out to Archie’s barn to see the newborn calf. Rachael and Bobby went into the pen, and a touch from Rachael calmed the mother cow, who then didn’t object when Bobby put his arms around her daughter. Rachael then touched the little calf, inspecting its health, and also easing its anxiety about having the boy hold her. Rachael forced a little of her special energy into the calf, bonding it with Bobby. The calf would forever recognize the boy, and be attracted to him.”

Robert then put Bobby to work, with the two of them mucking out the pen, which was fairly clean to start with. Bobby took to the work joyfully. He didn’t mind working when it was to benefit Dora, his heifer.

They all walked back to the house, except Archie, who walked to the house he was now sharing with JJ and Ruby. There were farewells on the porch, since Bobby’s boots were no longer acceptable in Donna’s clean kitchen. He put his loot into the bakery van, and then crawled into the back seat with Rachael, while their parents drove home.

“Can you look after Bobby tonight, Rachael?” Maria asked. “There are a slew of orders for Clouds for tomorrow, and I expect they might finally be taking off. People were just waiting for the weekend, to have fresh rolls for Sunday dinners. Geoff and I will go into work early, so we can get to the skating party at 3, or 4 at the latest.”

So that night Rachael worked. As soon as the family got home, she immediately went to get the vacuum, and cleaned out the messy area in the van where Bobby had been sitting. The van was the work vehicle for the bakery, and having it dirty or smelly could turn off potential customers.

When she got inside, she found that Bobby was already in the bath, after a rather detailed telling about the party for his grandparents. While he played in the water, Rachael got Grandpa to bed while Geoff took Grandma home. She even got Bobby’s boots cleaned, and his filthy jeans into a separate wash load.

She had just gotten back to the living room when she saw Bobby in his shorts at the top of the stairs.

“Rachael,” he asked sweetly. “Can we read tonight?”

“But you are 10 now,” Rachael teased. “Surely 10-year-olds don’t get bedtime stories, do they?”

“They can, I think,” Bobby said, concern on his face. “At least until they are 11.”

“Or maybe 12. Of course I will read to you,” Rachael said, and was rewarded with a huge smile.

After Rachael finished with Bobby, getting a big hug from the birthday boy when she crawled onto his bed, she was exhausted and lay for a moment on her bed, wondering what she should say in her prayer. Suddenly, she dropped off asleep.

She awoke to a familiar place. Off in the distance, on a low hill, she saw the golden gates of heaven. But she was in another place: one with many people, male and female, young and old, wandering about. The one thing that was the same was their expressions. They all had a stricken, pained look on their face.

“What place is this?” Rachael asked herself.

“It is the waiting place,” a voice behind her said. Rachael turned around and saw … herself.

No, it was the old Rachael, with badly dyed hair, chubbier than the new Rachael, and a sad expression on her face.

“You are …” Rachael started.

“Yes. I am the girl who killed herself so that you would be given a second chance,” her doppelganger said. “I have been watching you in my place. Seeing you spending special times with my little brother. I hated him. He was nothing but a pest to me, always getting in my way. Yes, I hit him. Anything to keep him away from me. Then you took over, and gave him the love that he wanted. I can feel a little bit of the love that he gives you in his hugs. Only a fraction of what you feel, I assume, but it makes me wish I had hugged him when I had a real body.”

“I hated my body. I only saw what was wrong with it. Bad hair, bad skin, too fat. Then you took over and instead of just hating it, you fixed it. Cut your hair and went back to blonde, which is so cute. Started eating well and walking home from school for exercise, and working hard in Phys. Ed. So you don’t have the same rolls of fat that I have. I had no friends … you seem to become a friend to everyone you meet. I saw you make Carly from one of the mean girls into a close friend. Why couldn’t I have done that?”

“Well, I did have help,” new Rachael said.

“No, you instigated just about everything you did. I hated my Mom: thinking she was an ogress holding me back. I fought her every turn. You helped out, cooking, minding Bobby, cleaning, doing laundry without being asked. And you got closer to Mom than I ever was. I envy your love.”

“And you even found her a man. I wish I could have had a Dad like Geoff. You know he loves you and Bobby as if you were his own children. I just was a screw up,” old Rachael moaned.

“What … why are you here? And where is here?”

“We call it the waiting place,” old Rachael said. “People who commit suicide have to stay here for … well, a long time before they are admitted into heaven. Most don’t get out until the last person who they were close to dies. That is why everyone is so sad up here. They have to watch the people who they left behind, and see how much pain they caused them by killing themselves. Except for me. I get to watch you, living my life in such a better way.”

“You could have done all this,” new Rachael said.

“But I didn’t. Instead I killed myself. I am such a loser.”

New Rachael saw a familiar rotund shape at the gates, and started leading her double down there. When they got close enough, new Rachael spoke to her angel: “What can we do for Rachael here? Is there anyway that she can get into heaven. There is no one on earth mourning her death: they all think that I am her. Surely she can get in?”

“I’m sorry Rachael. And Rachael. The rules are that there is only one space in heaven for each soul. Old Rachael can never be admitted, or there would be no space for new Rachael when her time comes. She is doomed to walk with the waiting for all eternity. “

“No,” new Rachael said. “That’s not fair. She is going to be punished worse than anyone else. Forever. There must be a way.”

“I am sorry,” the angel John said.

“Wait!” Rachael said. “What about my Ron soul? Did it come to heaven when that body died?”

“No, of course not,” John said. “You would not be Rachael without your soul.”

“Then I should have two places in heaven. Rachael can have the other.”

John stopped, and mused for a bit, and then took on a distant expression, as though he was mentally communicating with someone far away. Finally he snapped out of it, and said: “They agree with you. You have discovered a loophole.” He turned to old Rachael, opening the gate. “You may enter.”

The dark haired girl nearly skipped to the gate, but then stopped and enveloped the blonde girl in a hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” she wept. “You really are like an angel. I will never forget you. And I will always be watching.” Then she broke free and went through the gate.

When she was several yards inside, she turned to face Rachael and a transformation occurred. Her hair became long and blonde, and her figure thinned out. She looked like she was 16 or 18-years-old, and was extremely pretty.

John saw Rachael’s look of wonder, and explained. “When you enter heaven, you take on the body of your choice, from any point in your life. It keeps this place from looking like a senior citizen’s city. This is the look that Rachael chose.”

“You are beautiful,” Rachel said through the gate. “Remember that always.” And new Rachael realized that in a year or two she could look like that, although perhaps with slightly shorter hair.

Suddenly Rachael woke up in her bed. She knew what she had experienced was more than a simple dream. She got down on her knees and said her forgotten prayers.

Dear Lord

Thank you for accepting the other Rachael into heaven. I know no one here can ever know about it, but I think she deserves it.

And thank you for letting Bobby have so much fun on his birthday. When we were poor, Mom made our birthdays as special as she could, but it was nothing like today. She gave us love, but it is kinda nice to have nice gifts on top of that.

Thank you for everything you have done.

Amen