Coming Home

©2017

Sydney Moya

Synopsis

A man left his home town years ago as a teenager. Now he returns but is very different from the person who left years ago.

Part 10

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I noticed a new rapport between Dad and Belinda that week. Bel had finally won over Dad, the last holdout in the family. They seemed to get one another better it seemed. I had no idea what had passed between them to make that happen but I was happy for them.

Of course I asked her what had happened. She told me that they had a heart to heart the previous night.

“He wasn’t comfortable with me seeing Javier,” Bel told me.

“Really,” I said surprised a bit. I mean Belinda was 28 and she had a kid.

Then I realized he hadn’t let go of Des.

“Shit,” I murmured.

Bel nodded, “How was he when you first started dating?”

I shook my head, “Very uptight,” I said recalling how much Dad had terrified the first boy I brought home when I was 15.

“He was worried about me dating a guy given my past and I just broke down. We talked and I told him why I am the way I am. I think he gets me now,” Bel remarked, “He wants me to bring Javier over.”

I hugged her, knowing how much this would mean to my sister.

“I am so nervous,” Bel told me.

“I know, you worry they won’t like him but Mom and Dad are cool. All they want is for you to be happy,”

“I know but I’ve never done it before and it’ll just be weird for me,”

“Weird how, I’m sure they want to meet this guy you like so much. The biggest thing is you’re sharing your life with us again and this is a bonus,” I remarked.

Bel nodded.

“I have to tell him before he comes here or it’ll be awkward,”

I didn’t envy her at that moment. I squeezed her hand.

“You’re the strongest person I know sis,” I murmured.

“I wish,” Bel said with a wry smile.

“So how and when will you tell him?”

“Hopefully not in this life,” she joked trying to sound light hearted.

I appreciated her efforts at least she wasn’t letting this get her down.

“Come on. When you tell people what is their general reaction?” I asked my eyes searching her face.

“It depends on who they are. Callie was okay with it from day one. It wasn’t any issue with her at all. She handled it great. Barry and Mark had a few questions about the process but they were respectful. It helped that they had never seen me as boy so that didn’t cloud their perceptions of me.”

She looked quite thoughtful for a bit her face a mask, “Well you know how it turned out with Ross and Spencer. Uncle Tim and Spencer are how I have always feared people would react but Ross’ reaction was the worst. When you love someone they should never look at you like that,” Bel remarked, sounding sad.

She sighed.

“I just have to bite the bullet and get on with it,” she added a bit morosely.

“I’m sorry this is even necessary sis,” I murmured.

Belinda

Callie my best friend back home got a chance to call me for the first time since after I’d arrived here nearly a month ago. We should have got in touch sooner but life got in the way.

Still it was a pleasant surprise to see her picture light up my screen that morning.

“Hi Callie!” I shrieked, overjoyed.

“Bel, what gives? You haven’t called since you reached there. You haven’t been on Facebook or Instagram either doll. You just text,what gives,” she admonished.

“I know, it’s been hectic with my family and everything but it’s great to hear from you,” I apologized.

"I hear you and I shouldn’t be hassling you. You haven’t been home for ten years. I guess you had a lot of catching up to do,” Callie remarked.

“Damn straight,” I told her.

My friend laughed, a sound always made me smile.

“So girlfriend," Callie stated, "how is it? I miss you and Bonbon," she said.

My smile grew wider.

"I know. We miss you too. How are you keeping?"

Callie and I went way back. Back when l was a callow youth fresh off the bus, naive, scared and just beginning my transition, Callie had been a lifesaver helping me get the hang of being a young woman in today’s world.

She was the first person I had trusted with her identity and I had never regretted it.

Callie had clocked me within moments of us meeting at a clinic but it hadn't scared her off. I don’t know why I opened up to her. In fact she had asked a lot of questions but she'd been cool with the idea someone could feel they were supposed to be the opposite sex. She told me I didn't give off the same vibe guys did so she had believed my assertions. I could feel her empathy. Callie had sensed the pain I was in and I felt a kinship with her. It didn’t take much for her to want to help were she could.

It was a friendship built on navigating life in our twenties together helping each other up after falling and enjoying life. I would never forget how she’d helped me in the run up and aftermath of my surgery. I’d been scared to death and she’d come through for me when I had no else to turn to.

I know Callie loved me like her sister. We were pretty close and she had advised me to let my family know who I was from day one. I had refused for years coming up with one excuse after the other until I had Bonnie.

"I'm ok. Rob went to LA. Work sucks and I'm bored to death with you not around. I hadn't realized how much you fill up my calendar," Callie said sighing.

l giggled knowing it was impossible for the force of nature known as Callie Thompson to be bored.

"Yeah right," I said rolling my eyes.

"So give me the lowdown. We haven't talked for a bit. Is your family okay with the new old you? I can't believe they wouldn't be. You're rich, beautiful and have a lovely baby," Callie remarked.

l smiled, my friend had a way of spinning stuff. She made it all seem so simple.

"Why is being rich and beautiful on your list?" I remarked, "You just like me for my money don't you?" I teased

I liked being well off and was happy with my looks but that wasn't the sum total of Belinda Master’s. I was a human being with hopes and dreams like everyone else.

"I am rolling my eyes honey. If you don't like it give me that moola!"

I laughed.

"So what gives?" Callie opined.

"They all love Bonnie and they seem glad I'm back. They don't loathe me and I've hit it off with my sister."

“That’s fantastic. I told you so. What else?’’

I rolled my eyes too and sighed wondering why I could never fool her, “I've met someone too,”

"Oh be still my beating heart!" Callie exclaimed, "Tell me everything," she demanded.

“How did you meet?”

“I went clubbing with Megan,”

“OMG my dancing queen is back! You guys are really living it up aren’t you?” Callie responded to hoots of laughter from me as she recalled the name she’d given me when we started dance lessons all those years ago and I turned out to be a natural.

I told Callie all about my last month. Gosh had it really been that long. It felt like a few days.

I told her about how I'd nearly chickened out when I first arrived. How Mom had chased after me and stopped me from leaving.

How I realized I had missed my family, every single one of them and how much it meant to me that they knew and we were getting to know each other again. My friend was ecstatic.

"I won't say I told you so but no one who raised a girl like you could have a heart of stone," Callie remarked.

After my talk with Dad, things at home settled. That nervousness and discomfort I had felt before was gone. I felt he got me and who I was. I had no doubt he cared and understood in his own way what I had gone through which was fantastic. I was finally his daughter, it made me so happy.

He did ask to meet Javier of course after telling me to be careful with him.

I agreed but thought it best to let him know about my past. Talking to Dad had given me the courage to accept that I couldn’t make everyone accept me but that those who truly loved me would.

So I decided to tell Javier my story the next time I met him. It happened to be a few days after my heart to heart with my dad.

I was nervous maybe because I've always found it hard to let people in and Javier was someone I wanted to let in.

He was smart, funny, irreverent and just got me which tickled me silly.

I intended to introduce him to my parents, which was scary too. Mom and Dad had never met anyone I dated but I had high hopes for them. I know they only wanted the best for me and that they’d like Javier too.

I had to decide if I would tell him before he met them and thinking about soured my mood a bit. Coming out was always hard and in my experience it got harder all the time. I knew it wouldn’t be fair to him to not tell him so he could know what he was getting into.

‘You are a catch!’ Callie had told me one too many times but it never sank in. I was just me, nothing to write home about I kept telling myself. Why would anyone want me especially since I had this huge secret like a black hole that threatened any and all relationships I made.

I looked into the mirror, seeing my reflection. I smiled just a teeny bit. I loved how I looked to be honest. Of course I was a catch and if Javier didn’t like how that came about well it was his loss.

He had called me and asked if we could have a late lunch again.

Would I ever! I had to bring Bonnie too as Mom was at work and she was just about the only person I trusted with my baby around here. Mother’s are a godsend. She’s taught me so much on childcare in the short time I’ve been here. I hadn’t realized how much I have missed her until I got back here.

I dabbed at my eyes as I pulled out of the yard. She’s helped me so much with everything from Bonnie who she loves to bits to just showing how much she loves me no matter how I look.

I never expected this much from her when I came back.

She’s my hero.

Javier was waiting for us at Sherry’s. I can’t believe I am back here especially after teasing Mags and Jack about it but it was Javier’s idea. He told they make great burger's just as Jack said.

“Hey,” he stood as I approached with the stroller.

He gave me peck on the cheek and looked at Bonnie.

“Hi cutie,” he said with a smile, “you must be Bonnie,” he said smiling brightly.

Bonnie smiled back and waved her tiny hands.

I can’t help but giggle. I was scared she wouldn’t like him. Bonnie is a shy girl and doesn’t take to new people easily except with Mum, Dad and Megan for some reason, she adores them. It is important to me that she likes him as she is my number one priority.

I maneuvered her into the booth before seating myself.

“So, how have you been keeping?” Javier asked a smile still on his face.

I took everything I had not to sigh, that grin of his is devastatingly handsome and I can never get enough of it.

“I’ve been great,” I said to him, finding myself smiling back.

“You have a beautiful daughter,” he told me.

“Thank you, she makes my life so much better,” I said, looking at my little darling, “it’s like my life was meaningless without her,” I remarked.

And it was. I thought my surgery would be how I divvied up my life as in before surgery/after surgery but Bonnie changed my world. Don’t get me wrong, in its own right my surgery was a game changer, but Bonnie filled a hole in my heart I never knew existed. After I had her, everything changed. That was when I realized what was truly important in life and it had led to this place.

Javier nodded. I hope he can get what I said and that I am not being sanctimonious but the next one came out of left field. It was a question he didn’t ask when I told him I had a baby.

“Where is her father?”

This is a difficult question and it’s one I am not ready to answer truthfully at least not today even though I had planned to get everything out in the open.

“He isn’t in the picture,” I murmured.

“Oh,” he said, at a loss for words.

I hate the pause in conversation, when I first told him I had a child he hadn’t asked about the father then. Now he wants to know which is okay but and I am acting like he just asked me to pass an act of congress.

‘No I don’t want this,’ I thought.

I feel the need to bridge the silence and give him some idea of what is going on.

“I never met him to be honest so I got a donor because I wanted a child,” I explain hoping he can understand.

He nods, strangely he didn’t look perplexed. I would have given a million bucks to know what was on his mind in the that moment but I don’t want to look needy.

Yay! I guess, I so want this guy to like me and yet why do I feel so rotten inside. I should just come out and tell him the truth instead of obfuscating it.

“I can get that,” he said looking at Bonnie and smiling.

‘I am such a tool,’ I thought.

We ordered and talked about other things. He told me about his current project which was interesting to say the least and I was engrossed. Bonnie was a little angel, she just sat there looking and smiling to herself and didn’t cry.

The best part was near the end when an elderly couple passed by and spotted the three of us.

“You have a lovely family young man,” said the old man.

“Beautiful,” said his missus.

“Mighty fine,” said the old man nodding his head, “I remember when I was your age. You look after them good, boy,” he instructed with the gravitas and dignity only old age can bring.

Javier smiled and shook his hand, “Thank you sir,” was all he said which made my heart soar.

After they left we looked at each and smiled.

“It would be nice to get to that age,” I murmured

“Only with the right person,’ said Javier softly.

He reached across the table and took hold of my hands.

“Belinda, I like you a lot,” he said, his voice sounding nervy for the first time ever.

“I like you too,” I admitted.

“Is there anyone else, back in California?”

I shook my head, “What about you?” I asked.

He shook his head. “No,”

He swallowed, “Will you be my girlfriend?” sounding like a high school kid.

I nodded though I was just as nervous. It's a feeling I imagine schoolgirls know all too well around boys they like.

“There is lots you don’t know about me,” I replied.

“It’s the same with me and we have all the time in the world to get to know each other. So what do you say?”

“Only if you will be my boyfriend,” I heard myself respond.

Javier grinned, before kissing the back of my hand.

As you can guess I didn’t tell him about my past that afternoon but I did manage to give him an invitation to dinner at my parents over the weekend.

I knew I still had to tell him, sooner rather than later but I was happy. I dare anyone to be miserable after spending time with Javier; he is a warm, charitable person and just lifts me. So Bonnie and I went home, where I started that evening’s meal while I danced along to some upbeat tunes on my tablet as Bonnie watched fascinated.

I smile to myself, I’m sure she’ll think I’m a dork one day but that day is far away.

Camille

I having been hoping Tom would sort out his angst about Belinda’s transition and it finally happened this week. I am so happy. I think Tom has been hurting and worrying about why Bel did what she did. Thankfully they have talked it out and well things have changed around here.

Bel isn’t walking on a tightrope around her father anymore. When Tom is around she tended to become more withdrawn and less chatty. I’m sure she thinks I haven’t noticed but I could always tell she wasn’t entirely comfortable around him nor that Tom hasn’t fully opened up.

I knew things had changed when they came down for breakfast and Bel hugged him and he hugged her back. I didn’t have to be told to know something had passed between them.

Of course I am delighted with this. Things have been hard but love has won out in the end. We have our family back, three darling girls and I couldn’t ask for anything more.

I am so happy Bel and I have a great relationship, it’s wonderful to know I have a daughter like her, she’s sweet and loving and we are becoming close. She recently met someone who is very interested in her and the feeling is mutual. I know she is worried about him rejecting her like her last boyfriend did but at least she hasn’t given up on love. No one should ever give up on that especially at her age.

I will never forget her telling me,

“I’m thankful for everything but it just feels like no one will love me for who I am.”

My heart broke at those words. I can’t fathom how hard her life has been because of this. It makes it difficult to connect with others because you always worry that when they find out the journey you took to being the person you are involved a sex change it will put them off.

I found her home with Bonnie when I knocked off from work. She had already started that evening’s meal and was dancing about in the kitchen to some music and singing to Bonnie who watched her looking fascinated.

I smiled, remembering doing the same thing with Bel. The circle of life, Bel blushed on seeing me.

“Oh hi Mom,” she said before turning down the volume.

“Don’t stop on account of me,” I said smiling, “show me some of those moves Megan has been raving about,”

Bel smiled and played ‘All night long’ by Lionel Richie

I laughed and clapped my hands, how could she remember that? I used to dance to that when she was just a baby.

“Come on Mom,” said my daughter as she danced.

She pulled me in and we danced together as we laughed till the song was over. Belinda looked at me with those big baby blues. She smiled and it warmed my soul.

Nothing beats seeing your child happy, it has to be the greatest feeling a parent can get.

To be continued