Chapter 3

The weekend passed like it usually did with Amber locked in her room hiding from the world and her family. She talked to them at dinner and on Saturday she had listened to Amanda tell the story of the volleyball match and how they had won in the fifth set having to win 3 straight. Amber for a small second had wished that she had been there to watch Amanda play.

The rest of the time she tried to stay out of there way it was lonely and she had no friends to even try to talk to. Amanda had left to hang out with her friends at the mall and then they came back to and had a sleepover that night.

So Amber had spent all night listening to Amanda and her friends as they put on a modeling show of their new purchases. They had watched movies and had popcorn and played games long into the night.

Amber had listened to it all and cried alone in her bed all night. Wondering what she had done to deserve the life she lived. These dark thoughts and others stayed with her the rest of the weekend.

Amber walked into her bedroom from the shower, she knew she had to get ready for school but she just didn’t even want to try to play the game today. She was tired of the façade that was Allan. She was tired of hiding herself, she was sick of feeling like she lived under a very dark cloud one that never went away. She felt so lost and she just didn’t know what to do.

Friday had been the best night of her life! Yes she had been out and about before which is why she had the clothes that she did, the wig and the contacts. But the outings had been short and long amounts of time in between.

But on Friday she had spent the whole time surrounded by her entire school and no one had known who she was. She had been treated like a girl from more than just a sales girl. She’d had fun flirting with Jordan and she had been able to be herself for 7 hours it was almost perfect.

She had a couple of hours each day before Amanda would be home from volleyball practice but that only seemed to add insult to injury. And mom always returned home at 6pm so even if by some fluke Amanda had to stay later there just wasn’t time.

Every time she had been able to go out dressed was because her mom and sister went and did girl things that a boy just wouldn’t understand. Amber often wondered if her mother blamed her for their father running out on them.

He’d left on the day she and her sister were born and left the divorce papers with the attending nurse, not even bothering to sign the birth certificates. Ya he was a real piece of work, thank god he’s not even remotely in the picture.

Maybe if she hadn’t been born he’d have stayed? When Amber was born she was in the lowest of all the child categories. She was just small nothing else had been wrong or different with her body. Amanda had been in the normal average categories so it surely hadn’t been because of her.

Her genitals had never been like the other boys in school and when she started high school she forged a doctor’s note to get excused from PE and into study hall because changing in a locker room full of boys just made her sick not to mention that she would have been beat to hell.

Plus there was the fact that her body for the last year had been going through a female puberty. Even being in a somewhat enlightened city, she still lived in Salt Lake City Utah and people still didn’t like or understand girls like her.

Amber had always felt like a girl in her mind, heart and soul. She loved and looked up to Amanda and when she was little she couldn’t wait to grow up to be just like her.

Amanda looked at herself in her full length mirror, she was happy with her height at 5’6” it worked great especially for volleyball. Her long thick red hair hung in a ponytail down to her butt, her green eyes shown with the excitement of the day to begin she loved mornings, unlike her brother who hated anytime that had an am after the number.

Her black skinny jeans showed off her long legs, her athletic body and her butt which she honestly thought was her best feature. The grey blouse she wore showed off her boobs but they were not as big as she wanted, she was a B cup and wished she was a D.

Amanda walked out of her bedroom to go down stairs to eat before walking to school with Allan. Her brother was an enigma, he was so small and definitely too sweet and nice to be a boy.

His whole body screamed girl she had been noticing a few things over the last year but she wasn’t prepared to give him a complex. She often wondered how their lives would have been if Allan had been a girl.

She was sure they’d still have the twin speak and they were really close but maybe they would be so much closer and she would be able to talk to him more.

They got along like most siblings but when they were younger they had been so much closer, now he just locked himself away in his room. As far as she could tell he didn’t have any friends and at school he was alone all the time, it seemed even the out casts didn’t want him.

She worked really hard to keep the bullies off of him last year, this year it was like he wasn’t even there just invisible throughout the day which for him was probably better than the alternative.

Still he supported her with volleyball and he was always helping her with her classes and homework. She had gotten the athletics and he’d gotten the brains.

Amanda felt that something was going on with Allan but if he wasn’t ready to talk about it he wouldn’t he was really stubborn in that aspect. She really wished there was something she could do for him she hated to see him so miserable and alone.

As she walked by Allan’s door she noticed it was open just a little, now Allan was eccentric about his door, if it was wide open anyone could come in, if it was shut you had to knock and wait for the word to come in he never left it ajar!

Wondering if she should knock she heard crying and for a split second she thought it was a girl but no way was that possible it had to be Allan. She gently pushed the door open and walked into the room. Allan was sitting shirtless on his bed with his back to the door and he wasn’t just crying he was full blown sobbing. She hated seeing her brother so torn up, without thinking she climbed onto the bed pulling him into her arms and just held him.

Amber folded herself into her sisters arms placed her head into her shoulder and let go with soul wrenching and cleansing sobs. She let Amanda rock her and draw soothing circles on her back. Amber slowly calmed down; as she did she realized she was just dressed in her thong.

She went to sit up and pull away in a rush Amanda spoke softly, “Hey its ok I got you”!

Amber looked up into the smiling face of her sister, could everything really be ok? When she spoke it came out in a squeak, “Can I at least put a shirt on”?

Amanda smiled and started to chuckle “Ya you probably better, your making me jealous”.

Amber just stared at Amanda and asked in a small voice “How come your not freaking out”? Climbing off the bed Amber stood and walked the few feet to her desk chair and grabbed her hoodie, slipping it on she turned around and caught Amanda just staring.

“Is something wrong sis”? Amber asked in a shaky voice.

“No, um… wow….. um wow you just look amazing”! Amanda said ducking her head as she blushed.

“Um can I ask you something”? Asked Amanda.

“Well you saw me naked so I suppose you can ask me anything you would like to”. Amber said quietly.

“Ok, I have a ton of questions but only 3 that I need answered right now before we continue our discussion. Um do you have a name? I mean I’m assuming that you don’t like Allan”?

“Amber” she replied, “I’ve always hated being called Allan”!

“That’s a pretty name, why did you pick that”? Amanda asked deeply curious.

It was Amber’s turn to blush and hide her face behind her hair, “Um… because it’s your middle name and I always wanted to be like you”! Amber said in a rush.

Amanda looked at her new sister with tears in her eyes and rushed Amber and picked her up into a hug and squeezed. “Really”? She asked with wide saucer eyes.

“Yes, now what are your other questions”? Amber asked smiling. Today could have gone so differently than it had and it felt so good to actually tell someone especially her sister and have it go so well.

“Ack um….what a… what oh jeez, whathappenedtoyourpenis”? Amanda asked the question so fast it came out as one word.

“Yes I’d like to hear the answer to that question myself” said a voice from the doorway.

Chapter 4

Amber jumped as she spun towards the door and the voice of her mother. She had a thousand thoughts rush threw her head as she looked at her mom. Oh shit is this where my world comes crashing down? Is this where I get kicked out of the house? Or worse told I have to stay as a boy because my mom already has a daughter? Will she believe me when I tell her all the stuff that’s been going on with me and my body?

Amanda didn’t hesitate she jumped between her mom and Amber, she placed herself right in front of Amber and pulled her directly into her back with Amber’s front. No way was her mother going to get at her on her watch! If she tries to do anything to Amber she’s gonna have to go through me. And she sure as hell better not say anything to her that will hurt her. Thought Amanda.

Sandy Walker laughed at the antics of her children, they were twins through and through and Amanda had always been the protector of her smaller sibling. Although Amanda’s actions did make her stop and think about why Amanda felt the need to protect “Amber”. Did Amanda think that she was going to do or say something to Amber that would require her to be protected? That thought stopped the laugh dead on her lips.

“Amanda” Sandy said softly, “I’m not going to do anything, you can move to the side so I can talk to the both of you”.

Sandy watched as Amber wrapped her arms around Amanda’s waist and gave a small squeeze; Amanda whispered something to Amber that Sandy couldn’t hear and Amanda slid to the side and took a step back so she could wrap her arm around Amber’s waist.

Sandy was amazed at the love shown between the two kids and she felt pride in knowing that at least she had done something right with them. She always knew how to be a mom to Amanda but to a son she wasn’t sure what to do.

She had always tried to show both of them that she loved them and that they were important to her. The only reason she left him home when she took Amanda to go shopping or other “girl things” was because she didn’t want him to get bored and being dragged to the places that Amanda liked to go. She’d been very wrong and it broke her heart.

“Alright girls, sit on the bed and stay put I’m going to go call the school and excuse you for today. We have a lot to sort out it looks like”. Sandy said as she walked from the room to make the call.

The girls moved to the bed and Amanda pulled Amber into her lap, “You ok” she asked Amber. “I won’t let anything happen to you I promise, and I think mom’s ok with everything”.

Amber just nodded her head yes and curled into Amanda’s bigger body and waited for their mom to come back.

Sandy walked back into the room and smiled at her kids and slid the desk chair over to face her daughter’s, “ok um Amber I believe you need to tell us what’s going on because I’m a bit lost. I heard some of what you told Amanda but I want it from the beginning just know that regardless of what you have to tell me I will always love you”!

“That goes double for me sis” Amanda said into Amber’s ear.

Taking a deep breath and snuggling closer into Amanda, Amber closed her eyes trying to gather all her thoughts. She’d waited so long for this day and now that it was here she didn’t know where to start. Not knowing what else to do she decided to start with the first time she felt different.

First off I’m pretty sure transgendered but we would need the doctor’s to do their thing to find that out for sure. So with that in mind I’ve always wanted to be like Amanda, when we were little I wanted to do everything that she did. I wanted to play with her dolls and other toys and wear pretty dresses just like her. Then in kindergarten I learned why I couldn’t do those things when they made the boys sit on one side of the tape square and the girls on the other side and every time I tried to sit next to Amanda the teacher would make me move. I thought she was being so mean.

That’s why I insisted on going went shopping for clothes on my own because boy clothes didn’t fit and I had to shop in the juniors to get anything that would fit. I just got stuff that looked boyish and wore big hoodies to hide my boobs which by the way gets really hot during the summer.

And I’ve gone out dressed as a girl every chance I get which isn’t as often as I want, but on Friday that’s why I was “sick”, sorry Amanda but had I had to um……. Ya I wanted to go out dressed.

Amanda wasn’t buying that last statement, “Uh uh not so fast little sis why didn’t you go to my game”? “And I want the truth because I’m not buying what your selling”.

“Shit!” sighed Amber. “Can’t we just skip to the what happens now part”?

“Oh no my child I think we both deserve an answer to that question” replied Sandy. “And watch your language young lady”!

Amber smiled at that, “yes mom”.

“Ok look um….are you sure you want to know? Don’t you think you’ve had enough surprises for one day”? Amber asked hopefully.

“Oh god do you like a boy already”? Sandy asked with a smile.

Amanda sat back and watched the interaction between her sister and their mom; she’d seen the slight flinch in Amber’s face and felt her tense at the word boy. “I don’t think that’s it mom, what’s her name?” Amanda asked with the smirk lighting up her face.

Amber couldn’t keep the smile off her face as a picture of Jordan entered her mind. Just the thought of her made her happy.

Amanda chuckled at the smile lighting up her sister’s face, “Well? And please don’t tell me she’s a cheerleader”?

Sandy sat back in her chair; she could now see why Amber had wanted to skip this part because not only was she Transgendered, she was also a lesbian. Her child definitely had a hard road ahead of her, but she would be with her every step of the way. She would not fail her again.

“It’s ok sweetie I understand why you didn’t want to tell us right this minute but you might as well know that I don’t care and I think I can say this for me and your sister when I say we will be with you all the way”.

Amber couldn’t believe how things had turned out, she had no illusions that her life was going to be easy but with the love of her family behind her she knew life would be ok.

“No Amanda she’s not a cheerleader, but what’s wrong with cheerleaders?” “Anyway her name is…. Jordan Sanderson”.

“Oh my god! Really? Wow you sure know how to pick’em don’t you, and there’s nothing wrong with cheerleader’s I just wanted to lighten the mood and tease you a little”. “It’s my job as the older and bigger sister”! Amanda smiled as she spoke.

“Hey your only older by five minutes, I’ll give you the bigger part though” laughed Amber.

Amanda looked at Amber and asked, “Well did you talk to Jordan”?

Amber shook her head no, “I just sat so I could see her and watch the game, I waved and smiled at her and when the game was over I just left mostly because I wanted to make sure I got home before you guys”. Said Amber.

Amanda looked at her mom and then at Amber and stage whispered, “Can I see you all dressed up?”

Amber looked at Amanda and blushed as she said, “Really? Why? Honestly sis just look in the mirror, I’m just shorter”.

“Look sis I know were twins but come on you won’t look like me and I really want to see my little sister out of a damn hoodie”! Amanda exclaimed with a smile.

“Amanda! Language” Said their mom throwing up her arms, “Although I would like to see my second daughter as well” she said with a smile.

“Ok jeez you two act like I just showed up after sixteen years of being in another country” Amber exclaimed with a huge smile breaking her face.

“Well duh that’s pretty much what it’s been like and don’t act like your not excited I can feel the excitement in your whole body I am still holding you, you know!” Amanda said as she squeezed Amber even harder.

“Can’t breathe” whimpered Amber while smiling she loved how much her sister showed that she loved her, something that had been missing for the last year.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so distant from you guys, I didn’t want to be and you both have been so wonderful today I’m so happy. You will never know what this means to me and how much the pain I’ve been feeling the last year plus has just disappeared” said Amber with tears streaming down her face.

“Ok so let’s see the new you!” Exclaimed Amanda as she left to get dressed as well.

Sandy said “I’ll be downstairs getting some coffee and you girls will have to eat cold cereal today, plus I need to make some phone calls. Amanda can you get me Linda’s mom’s phone number please”?

Amber looked in her closet for something to wear the clothes she had she had worn several times and she wished she had something new for today. The light bulb went off and she ran into Amanda’s room.

Amanda looked up to see her sister in her door way in just her bra and panties. God how could anyone have thought she was a boy she asked herself. If she was taller she would swear that Amber was her. Well she really thought Amber was much more beautiful than her.

She had the figure and the breasts, oh man was she jealous of her sister? Maybe a little she admitted to herself. But she couldn’t help to be happy for her either because Amber had lived with so much pain for a long time so if a little jealousy was the cost then she would pay it.
Besides Amber had chosen her name to be closer to her so how could she not love her?

“Hey sis do you have something I could wear for today? I mean I have a few things but I was looking for something different you know” Amber asked blushing.

“Ohhhhhhhhhh can I dress you and do your makeup to?” asked Amanda.

“Um sure I don’t see why not” Amber said with a smile.

Amanda looked in her closet for a minute and asked, “Is that the lingerie you want to wear?”

Amber looked at her black lacy bra and black silk thong, “I was going to” replied Amber.

“I can’t believe you can wear a thong and you look no different than I do when I wear them” Amanda said somewhat shocked.

“I know isn’t it great?” Amber answered happily.

“Here put this skirt and blouse on, I think I have some nylons around here someplace” said Amanda as she thrust the clothes into her sister’s arms.

“Oh I have some don’t worry sis, thanks for this it really means the world to me”.

Amber took the clothes went back to her room and put on her garter belt and black thigh high stockings. She then pulled on the thigh length black jean skirt stepped into her 3 inch wedged heels and buttoned up the red elbow length sleeved blouse. She looked pretty if she did say so herself.

Amber then walked back to Amanda’s room, knocked on the open door and waited for her to turn around. Amanda spun at the knock and just stared at Amber, Amanda had never looked that good in that blouse. When she could pick her jaw up off the floor a sudden thought hit Amanda.

“Holy shit, you look just like me!” Amanda exclaimed.

“Well we are twins ya know sis” smirked Amber.

“Umm well ya but I mean we look exactly the same especially with you in those heels. How do you go outside and I’ve not ever heard of me being in two places at once?” asked a rather confused Amanda.

“Oh I knew I forgot something, be right back” Amber said over her shoulder as she went to her room to put on her wig and contacts.

Amanda was too curious to wait and followed her and sat quietly as she watched her red headed sister become a stunning blonde with bright blue eyes.

“Wow!” squealed Amanda.