Originally posted to Classic BC June 19, 2004
Once more in the Dreamscape, Eadglis trains Sue in all the sword skills he has garnered over the past 4,000 years. It's a long night.
Where Are We Really If We Are Nowhere At All
by Dana Short
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She was standing on a grassy field, with a faint hot breeze blowing both her long, loose hair and the thin soft full length dress she was wearing.
In her hand, was the Katana.
"What the hell do you think you are doing, Girl?" came an angry voice from behind her.
Whirling she saw Ed, his old sword laying casually over his right shoulder.
"What? Ed? Where are we? Where were you?" she asked.
"Where, no where. Don't ask me, I'm dead, remember?" he replied.
"But, yesterday, you were, and then today, it was like..." she tried to explain, for some reason suddenly having to fight off an urge to burst into tears.
"Now then, don't get all frustrated. This isn't any easier for me you know. I always figured it was all over once I lost my head. Sometimes I actually looked forward to it. Shows you what I knew." He answered. "But for now, for what we are doing here, is teaching you how to keep your own head on your shoulders."
"What do you mean?", she asked.
"I mean, teaching you to USE that sword you are carrying, especially when someone does something like THIS!" he said, suddenly swinging his own sword at Sue's neck.
"Unnh", she said, trying to take a step backwards and raise the Katana to block his blade at the same time, and only ending up tripping over her skirt and falling on her butt, the sword dropping from her grasp to land on the grass.
"Well, that move will work once, but I don't think it will do much for protecting you from a second swing." Ed said, stifling a laugh.
"Heh, I wasn't prepared." She complained as he reached down to offer her a hand up.
"Well then, that's your first lesson. Always be prepared." He said, lifting her to her feet.
"Like a boy scout?" she asked, looking around in surprise.
The sunny, grass covered hillside was gone, replaced by a utilitarian looking gym. Her dress was likewise gone, replaced by a soft, comfortable Gi, like she had worn for the physical training regimens at the Academy in France. She stood on a woven mat of some kind, and looked up at Ed, who hadn't changed at all.
"Like a boy scout." He affirmed.
"Uh, ok." She answered.
"Remember, the time to most expect to be attacked, is when you least expect it."
"Um, that sounds kind of Zen. How does one most expect something and least expect it at the same time?"
"By always being ready, grasshopper" he said, imitating the priest from the old Kung-Foo TV show.
"Ok, I suppose that makes sense," she said, thinking back to how she had felt the night before, when Ed was more or less in charge. A constant state of caution, a running vigil, examining everything to identify the possible threats, and a constant mental list of possible counters to those threats.
"Now, let's get some basic lessons in. First off, you are holding it wrong. It's a sword, not a club. Hold it in your hand like this..."
They went on for what literally seemed like years, practicing moves, grips, even hand to hand throws, kicks, and punches.
It was like being back at the Academy with Adam and his fencing lessons, but without taking any breaks. Neither herself or Ed seemed to tire, and while it hurt when he landed blows on her, there was no blood, and the pain faded rapidly.
Finally, Ed called a halt.
"I think that's about all I can do for you now," he said.
They were sitting again at a table, in the center of a vast, possibly endless room, with a single doorway on the wall behind them, slightly askew. Ed rose from the table, and headed towards the door.
"Wait!" Sue called, "Don't go! I - I need you!"
"What's that noise?" Ed asked, looking around.
A melodic tone, like the background score to a movie had sprung up from no where.
"Oh." She realized. "It's the phone. I bought a new phone."
The music grew, and the room faded to black.
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