*_*_*_* Mike *_*_*_*
We both got our senses back about the same time. It felt weird, disorientation is just a word that hardly describes the complete loss of the "self". Next to me was a person. He was different. He looked extremely outdated in those woollen clothes, and his face was different, but by elimination and deduction he was Paul. I managed to stutter “Paul - is that you”, at the same time I was irritated that I was wearing a tent.
Paul looked at me while he was scratching his thigh, and he looked at me like a drunken guy. He was squinting as the pale sun was in his face. “Yeah - I guess so!” he said, and said "Who are you?", then suddenly he smiled, and then he tried to suppress a laughter, and then he could no longer contain himself. “You’re a f***ing gal”

I am not a big fan of profanities, but there and then I agree it was called for. And of course that stupid Paul was laughing his head off. "That is what you get for selecting a female persona. This game selected one for you, HA HA HA! Ha ha ha"
This was not funny! I didn't get to any selection of persona. It just started when I pressed ENTER.
I got angry and responded:
"Shut up Paul, Shut Up There was no option to select. The game just started. How do I exit now?"
There was no button to press to get a 'HUD'. I couldn't find any way Obviously I had access to a limited amount of my hosts' memories. What I had ample access to was this person's hunger. The pain in the belly, the feeling of despair. It seemed like Paul had access to a lot more local info, because he could tell we were hiding from some brigands. He said it was kind of an urge to move away from this area.

Paul had a pouch with some strange things he knew was steel, tinder and flint. He even managed to get it burning. We knew it was stupid to light a fire, but sometimes you have no option. Freeze to death was the alternative.
I felt the marauders or whatever that might be hunting us, were our least problem. We could end up dead from starvation. So I put some priority into getting a little bit of food. I was terribly. That horrible dress was itchy. I decided to find out what was wrong, and while Paul tried to fish, I tried to get those clothes off. The dress itself was black wool, open in front down to the navel, but closed with laces, that closed on top. A petticoat of wool was around my waist. Underneath was a white linen shift that was easy to get off over the head. I was stark naked now, and I could see in the dim light that on my pectoral was small swelling areas around the areola, each one of them half the size of a lemon. I knew what it meant, and I knew what the consequence would be. . I put the dress above the small fire to smoke out the vermin. Not very efficient, but better than none. My areola was larger than I was used to, stood slightly out, not bigger than the hated dollar coin, but felt enormous, although they probably would not qualify as size A. I took a dive in the stream. Came up and tried to dry myself. I was still naked when Paul came back without a catch. He was ogling me.
I told him that I had unwanted insects in my clothes, and he took off his coat and shirt for inspection.
"Hey, you've got lice"
"Huh?"
"Those are bites of lice", I said and pointed to a row of red swellings around the lower abdomen.
Even Paul saw the need to get cleaner.
"When we meet other people, I can't go on calling you Mike"
"Why not? Can be short for Michaela."
"I think your name is Maria or something like that. I seem to have some memories of the past"
"If you call me that I will kill you - and that slowly so you don't get out of this game easily"

He was probably right, Maria seemed to trigger something in my brain, but in denial.
Tried to help Paul get some warmth before I undressed. I used the petticoat to dry him. It was wool, and scratchy, and smelly when it got wet, but at least he got some warm. It was probably stupid to light a fire, but we needed some comfort. I went over to some bushes to relieve myself, still naked. I was in no rush to don those vermin infested clothes. I was looking down, and tried to figure out what I looked like. Oh I know, I have learned basic anatomy in Biology, and then I had a short-lived relationship. It felt both exhilarating, and depressing, to feel a new body. I was squatting.

SH*T! somebody was coming.

"You'd better come back here, we have your clothes", one said and laughed. He didn't speak English, but I understood every word, and I didn't translate it, I just understood.
"If you don't come here at once we will kill your husband immediately", the other one said.
"He is not my husband, just a brother", I said as I started to rise, while trying to think.
I noticed the effect of my nakedness on these men. Nobody has ever given me a lecherous look before. Now it gave me the shivers, although the cold air was more than enough. Maybe the belief of being in a realistic computer game made me calm. Could also be a software error that forgot to generate adrenaline when it should. Only one guy was a threat, at least on the short term, otherwise the guy to the right had a pistol, but it was not in his hands, but stuck back across his chest. There was three horses bound together following him, one of them laden with booty.
Paul had explained this game went on until you got killed, so maybe there was a death-wish that made me do what I did. In my hand was a rock, and I was naked, yet I could make it invisible, by making him focus on a defenceless girl, and not see someone desperate enough to do whatever needed to survive.
I was so close I could not miss, and I kept my had slightly behind my body.
"You guys, are expecting to have some fun?"
I was in a suicidal mood. Ready to do whatever. Anyway - what was worse-case scenario ? Get killed , and get thrown out of this stupid computer game. At least a way to get rid of this female persona. I can only explain that I managed to surprise them by my action because I did so in total disregard of my personal safety.
I could see the smile, driven by the blissful idea that was forming in their head, and it was maybe a sinful thought they should have had the time to confess before meeting their maker.
The guy with the pistol came up to me as the other started to tie Paul to a tree. I smiled as I smashed the rock into the side of his head. The skull has a weak area. Just in case that was not enough, I grabbed the knife in his boots, and plunged it in his throat, cutting off air to the larynx, and severing the jugular vein, or the carotid artery. Whatever. There was an abundance of blood, but hardly any sound. The guy taking care of Paul took some time to react. I pulled out the pistol on my victims body, and directed it. The gun looked too authentic with a flint, quite new and yet used to be a replica. There was black powder on the pan. I knew I had to pull the cock back He was totally frozen, but it wouldn't last, so I aimed, and pulled the trigger, and a lead bullet him plain in the guts. O SH*T again the recoil was so strong, it felt like spraining my wrist. The guy was going to need a long time to die. It suddenly dawned on me this was not a game. I had this reaction to this and started to laugh hysterically, while Paul was bound helpless to the tree, and his captor was writhing on the ground. Now - after the facts - I felt adrenalin gush through my body, heightening the heart-rate.

Finally I freed my friend, after letting him curse me. I reminded him that there might be others around. I stood there shivering, and snivelling. I felt stupid, helpless, weak. Paul came with my clothes. They were strangely comforting.
"Pull yourself together Mike, You just killed two full size men, while I was tied and you feel helpless"
"One of them isn't dead yet, and I want to puke"
The guy was still alive He begged me to end his misery. When we were fed-up hearing him wail, Peter went over, and cut his throat.
“I got some points for that one!”
“Paul – this is no computer game. These are human bodies, or they have managed perfect modelling with the pain and weaknesses of the human body”
“No Mike– that is just your perception. The game is very realistic, and adapts to your brain. It said so in the ad.”
“I don't think so. It is just too detailed. Come on – we freeze. Has someone installed an AC in your apartment? The guys there would have raped me if I had lost the fight!”
“It's realistic – I think they have found a way to stimulate the parts of the brain where you feel cold. Even I feel some attraction to your body”
“Are we not brother and sister? In this game I mean!”
“I think so”
"And you want to … You are disgusting! I don't want to be female! I don't want to walk around in a dress while I am in this game"
"You must- as far as I know it is not allowed for women to wear men's clothes. You should probably also wear that cap. As a gentleman I can wear a hat."
I looked in disgust at the white linen wimple. I briefly put it on. Using the lake-water as a mirror, I saw someone that looked like a nun. It had I shivered, and that was not from the cold.
I hated the dress, but I had to wear it against the cold, but then it struck me I'd better secure clothing from the dead bodies. "If I am defined as a boy, then it is possible to pass as a young man" was a natural thought.
The saddlebags had some food, and a few other things.
The bodies were given a shallow grave in the soft bog.

During the night I could see the stars on the firmament, and I said
"They have overdone it. This is a computergame! This is not Earth. The are too many stars and I can't recognize any of the constellations "
"There you see : it is just a computer game. Sleep now"
"But... "
"You found the coins. In the morning look around and see if you can't find healing potions. Shut up and sleep!"

The men's clothes clothes did to not really fit, and the best shirt was ruined because I shot the former owner. I washed as much as possible. Can't waste things. The old linen thing that was almost as long as a dress - I would learn later it was called a shift - but I tucked it around my waist so it worked as a shirt,
"Come on Mike, we can't stay here." Paul said
"You'll be amazed what I find in this washing water," and I showed him the lice and flees. And the shirts got nice and white, although some bloodstain was impossible to wash away. The boots were too big, but that was to be expected. I used some dry grass to fill them up. The breeches now available I chose one made of leather. In one of the saddle bag that had been on the horses we found a dead chicken. It was not too smelly. I roasted it for a long time. In the saddle bag was also a few coins: and a ring. It was small, and fit my finger on my hand.

The inactivity gave me time to think. It gave me also time to probe. Paul wanted to know
"What's it like? I mean - to be a girl? "
"You prick!"
"That is what I have and you not ", he said with a smirk.
He had taken quite a swig from the bottle.
"I can at times manage to forget I am - but it is kind of stupid to have to pull down the pants every time I have to pee, and I am dead scared of being found out"
“Sorry Mike. I had no idea this would happen. I have always come out in male persona, but then then female character was only available in version 0.9, the dropped it in version 1.0, and as you say, there was no selection option, I just selected gremlins”
“Are you sure it didn't say 'siblings' ?”
“Eh Maybe. I'm a bit dyslectic, which was why I was a bad boy in 5th grade- remember?”

We rode off on the second day. It had started to rain in the morning. The hat I wore was at least some protection against the weather. The woollen coats got soggy, weighing half a ton, were smelly like a rutting ram, but managed to keep us dry. Not knowing where to go, we went west. It took days. Half the time we were trying to find our way through a swampy landscape, as the roads were controlled by the soldiers. We had time to talk and discuss together.
“I have only experienced male characters- but then it didn't take long before I was kicked out of the game,” Paul added. "There was this time when I wore full body armour, like in the Middle Ages. I was felt so strong. I had just received my accolade a knight. I felt invincible. I had a big mace in my hand. We were riding towards the enemy. Rabble of pikemen. Then a hail of arrows descended on us, and a wall of pikes met us. I was un-horsed quickly, and then I tripped in the ground full of blood and gore, and I felt a pain in my back, and then I was back in my wheelchair"
"Could be either Battle at Agincourt or maybe Battle of of the Golden spurs at Courtrai or even Sempach, judging from your description. Was there a large lake, and high mountain peaks around?"
"Yes, but I just saw them through some slits of my helmet. Whatever. It was exhilarating, but I was thrown out of the game,and the next one was weird, because I walked in a city and suddenly I was out- the shortest game ever. Right now you helped me set a new personal best!"

The land was cultivated, but the farms were deserted. In some places we could see gored cows, the carcasses left to rot; wanton destruction.
We talked about how I could get away with wearing men's clothes. Yes there are effeminate men, but most men grow muscles and the faces change. Facial hair can be removed, but leaves stubs. I also knew that osteologists can distinguish adult male skulls from adult female on the supraorbital ridge.

Our discussion was interrupted by a sound. A fox? There was a farm. The farm looked deserted, but then there was a new wail. I entered carefully, for fear it might be a trap, and it turned out there was only a farmer, three kids and a wife screaming because she was in labour. The farmer had a hay-fork, ready to skewer me. I told him calmly that he might hurt himself or the family with that. He listened to reason, and I introduced my brother, who was waiting outside. I looked at the wife.
"She seems to be in a bad shape. How long since the contractions started"
"She started last night.", the husband said; his accent difficult to understand, then he looked at me; “Why are you dressing as a boy?”
“We are obviously not exactly welcome in this area” I said. “Difficult to ride in a dress”
"I suppose you are fleeing the Bishop's troops"
"Yes we are. We don't want trouble - that's all"
"Is it because of the bandits that the countryside is almost empty?"
"Yes- us farmers are afraid. The midwife wouldn't come.", he answered, cutting the conversation. “Ah - boy - Could you help her? It is bad luck to have the husband present at a birth!”
There was not much I could do, and I vowed never to get pregnant. At least I could pick the newborn up from the straw, rub the body with some linen, while the baby boy wailed.
We brought in some of the horse-meat we had from the slaughter, and the farmer was grateful. He gave me some clothes that fitted a bit better, and had the advantage for me, of making me look a bit more like a boy.

The farmer recommended moving on. He himself was considering moving to South Africa where a distant cousin had settled. The prince-bishop who claimed these lands was weeding out the protestants, and those that objected to his taxation.

Two days later the landscape changed in a subtle way. The countryside consisted of fields and moors, but there was signs of activity which we had not seen on the first days. The farmers were not so apprehensive of strangers. We passed several small towns. Later we would learn that these towns were of considered to be large.
We continued discussing how I was going to explain my lack of growth. Age was not enough. My initial idea had been to find work as a physician, There certainly was a need for doctors, and with my general knowledge of biology I would be more qualified than most, but we had no medication to give. I also looked too young to be readily accepted as a learned man. I could not explain away years of study, when according to Paul I looked about twelve years old. I needed an excuse to pee like a woman. I came up with this scenario: I was young, and I had lost my reproductive organ in battle, as a drummer. I was a castrati, but not by choice. Paul found no objection to such a scheme.
We were told in a town called Zutphen, that was need for mercenaries but when we tried to enlist, they didn't want me. I felt bad for preventing Paul getting enlisted. So I insisted. They found out I was a girl, and said it was illegal to cross-dress, and to join the army or the navy was unthinkable. I wouldn't say we were punished, but we were run out of the city with sticks, and found ourselves in the mud outside, in a drizzling rain. We lost one horse in the process, but I gained insight into what people were noticing as a clue to gender.

Amsterdam was the only city-name even Paul knew about, and it was welcoming all sorts of strangers, but when we said we wanted to go there they though we were mad. Amsterdam was hit by the plague, and nobody in their right mind wanted to go to there right now.

We remember back in Zwolle where there was two corpses hanging from the gallows on the outside of the town. One was more a skeleton.
"They are lucky ones. Had they been executed in Holland or some city with a University, they would have been autopsied", said Juw ; who saw my eyes lingering to the sorry sight.
"Is it worse to be autopsied?", Paul commented.
"Yes, there is a huge crowd gawking. Costs a lot to attend"
I wanted to ask if he did pay, but didn't want to draw attention, so I let the subject drop.
“Anyway don't go to Amsterdam. They have the plague.”
“Where could we go?”
“Try to set up business in some small town. One without nobles yet, just ambitious small merchants.”
It was on Juw's recommendation we ended later up in Altena.
Juw was a friend of Hein, a brewer who let us find lodging in his house, mostly because he also came from Germany.
We were still inquiring about getting to Amsterdam. Paul had asked, and was looked upon as a lunatic: Amsterdam was in the grips of a plague. the Black death. NO ONE want to Amsterdam. Those who could did flee. "That's what they get for digging in the mud. Miasma from the soggy bottom of the canals. I warned them", said a guy that turned out to be the minister at Groote Kerk.
The same plague hit London, and the rich and well offs fled while the poor had to fight the Great London fire. We also got confirmation of the surrender of Niew Amsterdam.
I said to Paul: “Anyway, I don't think there is a portal there that will bring us back to our time”

There was an announcement of peace. There was a big celebration with free beer.
At least I got to know what date it was, and thus what year. The trick was to ask the same minister of the church about the full date. When he were astounded- I asked innocently :
"I was travelling, and they kept giving me different dates. Wasn't there a calendar reform ... "
"Oh yes - that was done about a century ago here"
"So..."

After getting the date in the Gregorian calendar system, I got back to Paul.
"Paul - it means we are in the united provinces of Netherlands, at a crucial time of their history. They are still fighting their second war with England (not yet Great Britain), and soon there will be the third which almost costs the nations independence. The King of France will offer the maritime cities it to the British"
" How do you know?”
“ As a boy I read the stories of the three musketeers, and the sequels, and then I started to read what I thought was the fourth book, but it turned out The black tulip was not a sequel.”
“And?”
“It was the story of a terrible crime that happened during the third Anglo-Dutch war, which was also the War in Holland, and its aftermath”
“There was a vicious war?”
“Yes – and it was a weird situation where the United Provinces were saved by the Habsburgs entering the war against France."
“So this is quite a different scenario from the previous ones"
"I told you I don't think it is a game as such, but if we are, then we are obviously in the Dutch camp."
"Why? I am a US citizen!"
"The US.of A was not yet made, barely a few colonies, you dummy. You played "Sniper" some years ago both as a Bosniac and a Serb and anyway wasn't your mother claiming genuine Dutch ancestry, claiming to be able to trace her ancestors to the time when New York was New Amsterdam. What was her maiden name again?"
"Schwarts, but that is because of Grand-Pa was from Indiana with a German for-father. The put more emphasis on Grand Ma's WASP roots. She was a Vanderbilt after all. Unfortunately not the billionaire branch” He said with a sting to his words. He must have been teased for being poor.

"That could explain what our quest is. If the cavalry charge you told me about was the battle of Sempach, then you were in the Austrian camp. New game - New challenges! We are from Germany you told me, but obviously we were at odds with German soldiers and we are now in the Republic of the Low Countries, basically what is called Holland, but that is the next province. Remember when we played Code of Honour and Stalingrad on both sides - We have been projected into the Dutch side, and this war is petering out, and the next will not start immediately. That means we have to get weapons and people, and for that we have got to have lots of money"
“Why not aren't we going straight into war now? I mean... the Dutch are are still fighting the English”
“Neither of us are experienced sailors. We wouldn't be hired as captains by the very professional Dutch Navy. As deck hands we are not going to make a difference, and finally I would be outed the first time I have to pee. I assume of course we are in this together.”
"Yes, but how are we going to manage? The job as watchman is not actually well paid.", Paul said.
"At least it pays for shelter", I added
" and very bland food - like salt herring.", Paul added , as he was not very happy with the staple menu.

We moved on till we could go no further because of the Sea. Then we found a village, called Altena, on a small river, which looked peaceful and well administrated. There was no wall, moat or ramparts, unlike the cities that had survived the 80 years long struggle for independence. The road ended here, the shores of the rough seas. Should we try to go further?

We were stopped by the guard. He spoke a language which we understood, though barely. He sent us on to the captain of the watch. We explained that we were brothers, and were refugees, so we sought sanctuary if that was possible. The captain said he appreciated honesty, and if we did not make trouble, we would be OK with the authorities of this town.

The guardsman at the gate recommended a lodging, as if we had much choice. It was not large, and there was more people coming as the market day was tomorrow. So we had to share room - not just Paul and me, it was with 4 other blokes. At least Paul and I could have one bed, and the vicinity of the others kept Paul from straining our friendship. The others were a rough bunch. It was tempting to consider emigrating to somewhere far away. Same as before. Paul spent his money fast. Some of it was spent on throwing dices. He claimed it was money invested in bonding with fellows.

It was nice to get a decent meal, and we started to get information. We had to have an idea of what was expected. We could not go around spending money like some drunk sailor. At least the place did not have prison nor walls around the city.

So we decided to try to make it out in Altena, and as it was necessary to have some contacts, we conformed to the general public and attended church. Religious observance was important to be be accepted, though it was somehow tolerant; all forms of reformed systems were tolerated, Catholics were not reformed, and thus banned, at least from having a public office. You can understand that when they kill those of other faiths in the most vicious way, in a war that lasted 80 years, then the response of the oppressed is of the same kind. But Altena was more a village than a town, everyone was Calvinists, so we ended up with the Calvinists, although I thought they had the most dreary liturgy. No music while singing psalms, no ornamentation. The most irritating thing was that in the weeks after we had been accepted, the minister kept on ranting about "women should obey their men" It felt at times as if he was ogling me. A few times I had to go there without Paul, as he was on guard-duty.
The spin we had decided to take, as I had was the victim of a shooting accident a few years back, a musket-ball had hit my lower-midsection, making some serious damage. It was only necessary to hint at, and then only a few times. Some guys are quite sensitive to what might happen with their testicles. It could explain why my voice didn't break, and the lack of facial hair.
Paul just hinted at it during a long session at the tavern. He said jokingly: "He should probably wear a dress now, since he doesn't have his equipment any more". They laughed although it was no laughing matter and nobody asked more, they just sympathized, some smirked. The spin was credible, it explained why I had to sit and pee, and other things, just in case anybody would notice. None did, but I was scared of being outed. On the other hand, by sowing such a story it made it less obvious I was a girl, and it explained my lack of physical strength. I was also taller than most girls. Eunuchs also get very tall.
At times we had to work as day-labourer, earning a stuiver or two, but I soon discovered they were not happy with my contribution to the task, and only were going to pay half - four duits for "he only does what the girls and women can do" to quote one farmer.
The poor pay for my manual labour was an additional incentive to get my own kind of income, and I have never been more exhausted from that kind of work.

The nights were black, pitch black, except for some flickering torches if any. One night we woke up because we saw light to the west. Actually it was a terrible sight, as a few English men-of-war were destroying a hundred merchant ships, in what the English would call Holm's Bonfire. The sight of all that destruction was also a reminder of how dark the nights were without artificial light. A village was also raided and stuck aflame. In the weeks to come all church services were used to request donation to the poor citizens on those islands. As it happened I had just some weeks before acquired several barrels of whale oil. Whale oil is great in lamps as it gives the best reading light, and I needed to work late. It also burns when it not in a lamp. As the price of the oil soared, I could sell five of them for more than the cost of acquiring all in the first place, and there was a gold coin to give to the needy.

Paul said he should have enlisted. There was a huge demand for sailors, and Paul was considering to enlist.
“This war is NOW! Not in ten years time.” He said.
I asked him if he really wanted to work as a deck-hand on these ships. Life on board was bad. An alternative was to become a marine, a soldier at sea, but that meant living in cramped condition. “It is impossible for a girl to live on a ship and pass as a man” I said. I didn't know it then, but I was wrong, but more of that later, but as a powder-monkey or other position it was only in works of fiction like the story of "Bloody Jacky Faber" that a girl can pass muster .