I walk towards what passes for the infirmary, my arm is bleeding, it's almost severed and none of the little magicks I've picked up will heal it. My thin ebony blade, Crier of Souls, is in my hand despite my wounds. I never know when a fae I've embarrassed or a fellow slave will want to get it's little bit of revenge seeing me in a moment of weakness. I shake my head to get the blood red hair out of my eyes, the greasy, sweaty bangs have to go. Maybe after I get my arm fixed I'll make Sin give me a haircut.

Pushing open the door I'm surprised to see Sam sitting over a bed, rubbing ointment on someone. This could prove interesting. He doesn't hear me gliding over the floor, I'm not trying to be silent it's just what I am. I look down and for the first time in a long time I'm surprised a second time. I see me lying in bed, my skin burnt red, my hair singed into something resembling a buzz cut made by a flame thrower. I am crying softly, still unconscious from the... the... what was it? Oh yes, the first dance with the fire birds. I look so helpless, so fragile. So full of potential.

I step to the side of the bed. Sam jumps up his large fists ready to pummel me, to break me, to kill me. He's wise beyond his years. I flick my wrist, Crier is at his throat, poking into his skin before he can blink. "Don't make me kill you again Sam. Please."

He's a smart boy, you have to be to survive this long, he steps back lowering his hands. My blade goes back to my side. I don't let the pain show as I raise my wounded hand to touch my face, my blood leaves a trail on my burnt skin. My red skin so similar it's like a mirror, yet one is still unblemished, one is scarred, a tapestry of history, each one a reminder of a dance.

I've changed, yet I can still see me in me. The eyes they gave me, the upturned nose, the fragile cheek bones, the pointed jaw. My mouths are different though. One mouth still knows how to smile, I can see a trace of it, I mark it with my blood. More blood drips on our face, letting the young me know what the future holds. I am still innocent, naive, gentle, that will change.

I could end this now, a tightening of the fingers around my throat, or a slice from Crier. The sword would like that, it's been hungering for my blood since I won it in a dance. I would survive, but I would die, never having to face the horrors, dying peacefully in my sleep. A kindness. A day in a nightmare, and then peace forever. Yes, it would be best. Save an innocent and let the monster survive.

Sam knows what I'm thinking, he moves. He thinks he's quick. My foot hits his sternum. It's like hitting a rock, and I wince as my arm is jolted. But my foot is a jack hammer, he goes to his knees, wheezing and gasping for breath.

My eyes never leave my face.

A quick painless death. The only kindness I can offer.

My eyes flutter, I am looking at me, I look surprised, shocked, even a little scared. I wonder how long it's been since I've been scared. Since I really felt anything. I can't remember.

I raise Crier. I start to cry.

I don't remember this.

"Why?" I ask myself.

The sword comes down, I put it in my small, innocent hands.

"Don't stop fighting. Don't stop trying. Or the next time you see you, kill yourself. It will be better," I tell myself.

I walk out the door, unarmed, bleeding, possibly dying. A monster may die. An innocent may be saved. As I see the hungry angry eyes coming closer, music fills my veins and I draw a dagger. One last dance. For the first time in years, I truly smile.

**

I looked at the dark sword in my hand, not sure what just happened. But I had no idea what the red woman meant about fighting and killing myself. That made no sense.

As I looked at the sword I realized something, my skin was a brilliant red like I was sunburned. A lot like the woman who had given me the sword. But there was no pain, it felt a little oily but that was all. What was going on? I remembered the birds burning me, I'd been on fire. There should be something worse, not just this.

I heard a groan from the floor. Sam was slowly getting to his feet, grimacing with the effort. I tried to get off the bed to help him, but as I put weight on my left foot I screamed in pain. Fire ran through my calf, and I felt bone grinding together. With my good leg I jumped back into bed trying to breathe through the agony.

"What happened, Sam?" I finally managed to gasp.

"Fae stuff," he said with a grimace.

"And that means?" I encouraged him.

He slowly made it to his feet. "Did you see her?" He asked looking at me strangely. I nodded my head. "Did she look familiar?" He asked.

I shook my head, "I haven't seen many people since I got here."

He pulled a large dew drop from a leaf it expanded into a ball about the size of my head. "Look at the ball?" He said, giving the shimmering water to me.

I held it gingerly, afraid the beautiful orb would break under my clumsy fingers. The shimmering surface reflected everything in its' center, a perfect 3D mirror. I saw my new face for the first time, the thin cheekbones, too large eyes, upturned nose, pointed chin, all of it smeared lightly in blood. My lips were bright red with her, my, blood. I wipe it off on my gown.

"The woman was me!"

Sam nodded, and groaned like he had a headache. "Yeah, and she wasn't much for talking."

"She was going to kill me. Why would she kill me?" I asked, trying to breath, but I couldn't seem to get any air into my lungs.

"She'd been here for a long time, years probably. I've never seen anyone move like her. The fair folk aren't sane, and the longer a human stays with them the crazier they get. It's like an infection," Sam said. "Why did she stop?"

"I-I don't know. I asked her why and she suddenly gave me their sword and told me to keep fighting," I told him. "How did she get here?"

He shrugged. "Time, cause and affect, logic, they don't have much meaning here. Humans bring some stability to the steading, at least that's the current theory around the north, but it's still flexible. I've seen myself a few times a little older, a little younger. Never talked to myself though."

"Did sh- I hurt you?"

He touched his stomach, it was turning an ugly green, "Not much. But you kick like a mule. Can I see the sword she gave you?”

I handed the sword over. I didn't know anything about them, maybe Sam would want it for one of his fights. He could have it, there was no way I wanted to use a sword from the crazy, future me. He looked at it carefully, testing the blade by shaving his arm. I wouldn't want to risk that, the dark blade looked evil, like a bit of hell turned to stone. It was about 3 feet long, and when I had been holding it, it didn't seem to weigh much, less than a paperback book.

Sam started to swing it, the blade hissed through the air like a snake. As he swung it, going faster and faster, I saw him looking at me, his face grew hard. Still swinging, he turned to face me, I didn't like the way his jaw was set, it reminded me of his fight with the bear. As the blade came closer, I edged back until my back hit a stone wall.

Suddenly he stopped dead, the tip of the sword pointed at my head.

He closed his eyes, breathing deeply for a few minutes. Then after what seemed like an eternity he held it by the flat of the blade and handed it to me. “Take it. It's yours.”

“I don't want it,” I said firmly, looking at the thin, double edged blade warily. It was sucking in the light from the room. I felt nervous just watching it.

“You want to survive?”

“Of course I do. What type of question is that?” I demanded.

“I saw the future you, I was hit by her. I didn't have a chance to defend myself. When she first came in, before I knew what was happening, I turned to face her ready to kill her if she was going to hurt either of us. She had that sword pressed against my throat before I could make a fist. When I thought she was going to hurt you, she knocked me down and had me helpless with a single kick, she didn't even look at me.” He shook his head in disbelief. “I haven't even seen a fae who is that good.”

I shook my head. “I don't want to be her. She, she seemed to want to die, she looked so tired.”

“Then don't be like her. Learn what you can and then use this sword and your skills to escape,” he whispered.

My eyes went wide, “I can escape?”

He nodded. “I know one person who succeeded, in California. And there are stories told by other humans about people who have succeeded. But it's not easy, you have to be the best, because they will hunt you down.”

Escape. I could really escape. I took the sword, my hand shook as I held it up. I felt cold.

Sam stepped away from the bed and began looking at the trees and bushes surrounding us. "We need to fix your leg, you got a nasty break when you landed the second time. You don't feel it right now because of the lotion I covered you with, one of the best pain killers ever. Put the sword down for a minute"

"I'm guessing I'm not getting a cast," I tried to joke as I laid the sword down on a stone shelf.

"No, we have something better here," he said holding a hollow, green branch that looked like bamboo. It had a split on one side and he had it spread open.

"What's that?"

"Break grass. It mends broken bones, and after a good night sleep you're perfectly healed. but it hurts going in,” he said.

“Going i-” I screamed as he placed it on my skin.

The razor sharp edge of the branch cut into my skin. Sam put his hand on my chest, keeping me down, so I couldn't see what was happening. It felt like an army of ants were crawling under my skin, biting into the muscle. As the ants moved forward splitting my flesh, the stiff, rough, wood followed, tearing the muscles apart. It scraped the bone, circling it. The ants moved to the break, burning, grinding and smoothing it, the wood tightened, crushing the bone, I heard a crunching sound, and a wave of agony moved through my body. It was worse then when I'd broken it.

The pain slowly faded away. I shook on the bed, exhausted, panting for breath, there was blood in my mouth, I must have bitten my tongue at some point during the screaming. Sam hugged me whispering that it was going to be alright.

“Wh-what was that?” I said once I had the pain under control. My leg was still aching but it didn't feel like it was being crushed anymore.

“I told you break grass. It's a type of plant that grows in steadings to help humans heal broken bones. It was really hard to find when I was tricked here, but since then it's flourished,” he explained. “Tomorrow you'll be able to start training with Calandri, without even a limp.”

“I think I'd rather risk her being angry with me than go through that again,” I said, feeling my leg and twitching my toes. Everything seemed in order but the memory still made me shake in pain.

Sam shook his head. “You will learn. She'll make today look like a picnic if you don't do well. Pay attention and learn, or you'll be in here a lot, or under Jasper's care.”

Ok, that was a scary thought. “Alright I'll practice hard.” Another thought came to mind, I raised my red arm. “When will my skin turn back to normal.”

“No idea,” he admitted. “Sometimes things that happen to us here stay with us. So you could stay red forever, if it doesn't stick you could be back to normal tomorrow or in a month.”

I thought of the red, future me, she had been covered in scars, and her arm had been hanging by a thread. As I looked at the unreal forest around us, I'd never felt so scared in all my life.