Edmonton, Alberta
December 22nd, 2007

I don't know when Mom came back with Kota. I was asleep long before they arrived. But the next morning when I woke up before eight, Mom was sitting beside my bed. She was watching me with a sad expression in her eyes. Whatever she and Kota had talked about had to of been bad, she usually only hovered over me if something made her worried about a kid. Since my parents usually got one or two kids a year staying with them for a few weeks, not counting the kids who dropped by for a couple of days, I was kind of used to this.

“Morning Mom,” I said, giving her a smile, that I didn't feel in the least.

“Hey honey.” Even with her exemplar powers, she sounded tired.

There was no point in waiting, might as well get the pain over with. “How's Kota?”

“Scared, hurting, but getting better. How about you?”

I took a bit of time to think about my answer. “Scared,” I finally admitted.

Mom patted my leg. “I understand, sweetie. I wish I could do something to make it better...” She took a sip of her coffee. “I want to ask you to do something, if you don't want to that's fine but I'd like to consider it.”

Nodding, I waited for her to tell me, even though I had a pretty good idea what was coming.

“If Kota does something that gets on your nerves or upsets you don't yell at her. She's been through a lot, and you're the only person she knows who is in a remotely similar position.”

Another nod. It wouldn't be easy, it seemed like she was spitting on a lot of the best things about being a girl, but I'd try. Mom kissed my toy rabbit and pressed it against my cheek, in thanks. I returned the kiss with my dog.

She gave me a smile. “If you want you can ask her some questions, but don't press her if she doesn't want to answer. And she might have some questions for you.”

“If she asks me anything I'll try to answer. But I don't think I want to ask her anything.” Ok, I probably did have a lot of things to ask her, but I was still pretty upset with how she'd acted yesterday. I wasn't ready to open up to her anytime soon.

Mom squeezed my leg, probably expecting me to say just that. “Thanks dear. Do you want some breakfast?”

“Later. I want to do a bit of a workout before I have a shower.”

“Alright, when you're ready let me know.” She gave a little scowl. “Last night you're Dad and I got Big Horn to fill in for us over the holidays, except New Years Eve. So except for a couple of special events we'll be here for you.”

My eyes probably bugged out. They hated the musclebound idiot part time hero, he was always found at bars and parties trying to hit on women, last summer he'd told me to call him when I turned eighteen. When he wasn't playing hero with his manifested armour, he ran a gym that was well known for turning a blind eye to steroids and other enhancers. “You asked Big Horn to cover for you? How much did that cost?”

“Don't ask,” Mom groaned. “But it was worth it, and Snowflake was out of town. Anyways, if the other girls are up for it, we're going to take them to the headquarters for a bit of show and tell. And you and Theresa are scheduled for haircuts and nails at five, it took a lot of begging and calling in favours to get you in on such short notice, so if you back out, I'm going to shave your hair off.”

“Thanks Mom, I promise not to get into any fights.” I actually liked Theresa, so that was one less worry.

She lifted the blanket up to my neck and gave me a hug, before leaving to go see what Dad was cooking for breakfast. Replacing my pajamas with a leotard and a pair of shorts, and slipping on my bracelets, I headed for the workout room, which had one side set up for dancing, aerobics and sparring. It was soundproofed so I was able to turn on some modern jazz as loud as I liked and lost myself in the music.

Mom had tried to get me interested in running with her, but even though I learned how to run pretty well from her and they'd asked me to join the school track and field team, I'd never enjoyed it. The steady beat was boring, and it was just a faster way to get from point A to point B. Dancing was different. It was beautiful, it let me show the world how I felt when I couldn't and wouldn't touch others physically. If I was happy it showed in my movements, when I was angry I just had to change songs and everyone knew. It was the one time when my mind, soul and body felt as if they were in harmony. I could even dance with others and feel completely natural.

I don't know how long I danced for before stopping to take a drink. My muscles were shaking and it took a lot of effort not to bend over panting, which is one of the worst things you can do if you want to avoid cramping. Wetting a towel at the sink in the corner, I noticed Kota watching me, crouched beside the door. I finished my water and patted the sweat from my face and shoulders.

“Hi,” I said, my voice low and cautious.

She was almost hidden in her black t-shirt and baggy sweatpants, for a moment it looked like she was ready to walk away. Then, “Hi.”

We stood there very awkwardly for a few minutes, me staring at my feet, needlessly wiping away imaginary sweat from my brow, and she sat there silently. What was I suppose to say? Hey what's it like being a boy? Did it hurt when you changed? Would you be interested in a body swap?

“You're a good dancer,” she said almost too quickly to hear.

“Thanks. I'm not sure how long I can keep dancing.”

Kota looked at me as if I'd grown a second head. “Why stop?”

“My body is going to change. My balance is going to be crap, and my center of mass is going to be right off. And I'll have to learn how to dance like a guy,” I explained, trying to keep my voice steady.

“You can learn how to handle it. It just takes practice.”

“You dance?”

She shook her head. “Parkour, like your Mom.”

We still weren't really looking at each other. Maybe it was because we were both jealous of the other, or we just hated how we were both acting, but it was really hard to talk. Every time I looked at her I was jealous of her hair, her figure, her skin. Heck without even seeing it I was jealous of her vagina, periods and all. And to be fair, she was probably jealous of my soon to be privates to.

“What's it like being a boy?”

I had no idea where that question had come from. It took me a moment to realize I had even said it. Kota looked as surprised as I felt that I'd asked it. The blood rush to my cheeks, and my brain panicked. Unthinkingly I ran out the door, heading straight to the safety of my room. As soon as my door was closed and locked, I stripped out of my clothes, leaving them in a trail to my bathroom where I hopped in the shower to wash away the sweat and prove to myself I was still a girl. The water was freezing by the time I forced myself to step out.

**

Eventually I headed down for breakfast.

Theresa looking like she'd just woken up was there in her pajamas. She stopped yawning when I sat down at the table, giving me an odd look. We hadn't really talked at all the night before. She'd cleared the table while I recovered from my meltdown, and disappeared to her room while Dad and I finished cleaning. I wondered what she was going to say now that she knew what I was turning into.

Dad came in with a plate of homemade berry waffles. We both dug in, drenching them in maple syrup. Kota followed a few minutes later, she stopped at the door and looked at her roommates back. Theresa was oblivious to the scrutiny. I saw the look of almost fear as she hesitated at the door. I was getting to know the look very well, I saw it in the school bathroom mirror, when I watched the other girls around me getting ready for the day.

Smiling as cheerfully as possible, I pointed at the waffles. “Sit down and eat, Kota. The waffles are great.”

“Thanks,” she said. “Morning D.”

Theresa mumbled something that could have been good morning. Kota paused for a second as she was sitting down, her face full of pain, her eyes began to glitter with tears. I wished Mom was with us, she'd know what to do. Dad could probably think of something to. But it was just us three, three freaks who weren't sure of anything anymore.

“Kota, my parents want to take you to their headquarters today. Mom really wants to do parkour with you, do you think you're up for it?” I blurted out.

The pain was still plain in her eyes, but it had receded a little. Filling her plate up with waffles, she nodded. “Yeah, I'd like that. I've never had the chance to try doing parkour inside, it sounds cool. What will you do?”

“I'll go with you guys to the head quarters. I want to say hi to a few people there, then I'll probably relax until we're ready to go.” I wasn't going to mention getting my hair and nails done, I had kind of promised Mom to keep everything calm, and that seemed like a sore spot for some reason.

That seemed to be the end of the conversation. We kept our heads down eating the delicious waffles, while my parents were off doing something. They'd know what to say to get us talking or laughing, where the heck were they?

We ran of juice, so I took the pitcher to refill it. Dad had cleaned up the kitchen and disappeared, so I quickly grabbed a new thing of juice from the fridge and headed back. But I stopped at the door, Theresa and Kota were talking. I bit my lip not sure if I should go in, or sit down for a few minutes, then I heard what they were talking about.

“-I don't know,” Kota said.

The answer didn't seem to satisfy Theresa. “How can you not know?”

“I don't know. I know I haven't looked at you or any other girl in the bathroom like that, but I haven't looked at boys either. So I don't know,” the girl repeated, sounding confused.

I retreated, and sat down on a stool at the kitchen island. Would I be like that to? Not knowing if I liked boys or girls. I liked boys, I was starting to look around for an actual boyfriend who wouldn't mind that we could only get together on the weekend. Girls were pretty, but not in a dating or sexy way. I tried to imagine what kissing a girl would be like. I didn't really have anything to base it off of, having never kissed a boy. But where I could picture kissing a boy and getting excited at the thought, with tingles running through my body, I couldn't do the same when I thought of kissing a girl, it just sort of fell flat.

After a few minute of my thoughts running in circles, I headed back in, making just enough noise that they would hear me. When I sat down, Kota seemed a little better, and Theresa wasn't staring at her plate as if it was the only thing in the world. We finished the last of the waffles when Mom walked in all smiles.

“We're going to head into town soon,” she said, with none of the tiredness I'd heard in her voice earlier, “and we'll get a late lunch at a great Chinese buffet, so you have half an hour to get ready. Theresa can you come with me? I need some help wrapping up some presents and Steve is busy with some last minute business.”

Theresa took off with a quick goodbye, so it was up to Kota and I to clean up things. If this was a family movie, or a heartwarming story, we'd start talking to each other, sharing our feelings, have a good cry, and become best of friends ready to face the world together. Maybe even start dating once I was a boy.

Nope.

We worked quietly, Kota asked where to put things and I told her. I didn't know about her, but I felt ready to shatter. Kota had been a girl for at least a few months, and she seemed to hate it. Would I be like that as a boy, hating every minute of my new life? The future didn't look very good.

Edmonton Heroes Headquarters,

I gratefully got out of my parents SUV as soon as we hit the underground parking lot of their headquarters and the largest police station in Edmonton. Theresa had sat between Kota and I, which had helped keep things calm. Best of all, whatever Mom and Theresa had talked about had the girl talking if not as excitedly as usual, at least comfortably with Kota. Theresa was talking mostly about the headquarters, during the summer she had stayed in the guest quarters of the base because her GSD hadn't let her wander around well enough to risk staying at the house, so she was telling Kota about all the cool things.

We walked to the secure elevator, where Dad used a keycard to open the heavy steel door that protected the elevator. Then they had to use a key and thumb scan to get it moving. I knew that we were being watched by security and if anyone tried to use the elevator without being recognized, the elevator would be stopped and had better have a very good reason for using it because every available police officer and every available hero would be put on alert ready to take on the intruder.

The elevator let us avoid the small area open to the public which had a small museum, gift shop, and reception area. The museum wasn't much, even though it covered all the superhero and mutant community of the Canadian Prairies, with some mention of the Vancouver based heroes who over the years offered support when something proved too big to handle by the small handful of heroes that called Alberta and specifically Edmonton home. Quite simply until recently there hadn't been enough people or interest to have much of anything worthwhile except cows and wheat. The oil sands had started to change that, but it took the oil boom of the 1990's to start getting heroes and villains that did more then pass through.

Until my parents settled down in Edmonton after getting contracts with the various oil companies in 1991, there were only one or two part time heroes in all of Alberta depending on the year. My parents still complain about how the Edmonton based hero Athabasca Man, a hydrokinetic and manifestor, refused to work with them because they had brought Eastern Canadian problems to his city. Apparently being superheroes full time was a draw for supervillains, and it was wrong to accept money for fighting the good fight.

Still he and the other old heroes were prominently displayed as inspiration for the new heroes in town.

We got off on the second floor of the headquarters proper, which was actually six floors up. The guest rooms, training rooms, dining hall and break room were there. To justify the cost of the large and expensive training rooms the police regularly scheduled sessions in the parkour gym and exercise room. It was pretty tightly controlled, so that the heroes could train without having to wear their costumes while around people who hadn't been checked a few dozen times to ensure they were clean. The fifteen regular staff members, most of whom except for the janitors, were RCMP officers, had all undergone background checks that were similar to what a person would go through to join the secret service. The part timers, were more tightly controlled and were constantly monitored while in the building.

The elevator came to a stop and we were once again in a tiny secure room, but this one had four change rooms, well sealed, for heroes who wanted to get suited up before entering or exiting the headquarters proper. Since my parents were there under their civilian identities they didn't have to worry about costumes and stuff.

An armed guard in a police uniform waited just outside the door, behind a console that monitored the whole building. He couldn't actually control much, except to move the cameras to look at suspicious activity, hit the alarm, contact others, and see what was happening throughout the building, even with the reinforced bullet proof glass, the place was too open and accessible to allow it greater access. And even that limited control could be be cut from central control, and if an enemy gained control of central control it was as Dad explained, all over except for the screaming.

“Hello Mr and Mrs Young. These are Estelle Young, Theresa Williams, and Dakota Morgan, correct?” the officer on duty asked through his speaker.

“Yes, they are,” Dad said needlessly. They'd sent a full listing of who was coming with them along with Theresa and Kota's photo the day before, my photo was already on record.

The man smiled at us girls. “Welcome to the superhero headquarters, none of the heroes are in today but there is still plenty to see. If you get separated from Mr or Mrs Young, just stay where you are and someone will be along to help you in a few minutes. Do not go through any door marked in red unless invited in by an employee, and do not touch any buttons or equipment.”

We all nodded as he finished his spiel. I'd heard it hundreds of times, and I could actually wander around without an escort as long as I didn't go to the armoury or the control center. But it was regulations.

We headed in, my parents didn't need to tell Kota what everything was, Theresa, having spent a month living there was more than willing to give a running commentary. “The guest rooms are right ahead, they're like two of our rooms, and they have tv, computers, wifi, huge closets, room service, and everything. I actually had Super Bear as a neighbour while I was here.”

“Super Bear?” Kota asked not quite believing her ears.

“Yeah, he's a devisor and gadgeteer, with GSD that makes him look like a hot pink bear with devils horns and tail. He's a really great cook to!”

Before Kota could say anything about him, I butted in. “He's also my godfather, and like an uncle to me. If you go to Vancouver with us, you can meet him.”

“Sounds cool. I'd love to meet him,” Kota said.

“We're going to be visiting Vancouver in the first week of January, so Estelle can see her doctor. You girls will be seeing the sights and can meet the Vancouver Heroes Corp, while we're there,” Mom said.

“Really! Cool!” Theresa gushed. “Oh Kota! Here is the room I was talking about.”

She opened the door to the jungle gym, which Mom had paid for. There were walls, steep ramps, railings, and platforms throughout the large room, which had originally be an indoor running track. Looking up revealed that there were bars, beams, wires and ropes hanging from the ceiling. It looked like a jumbled mess to me, but Mom loved it.

Kota looked inside, and I could see her drooling at the sight. Mom must have noticed to. “I know I said we would do it later today, but do you want to go for a run now Kota? You can show me your moves.”

“Yes!” the girl said with real excitement for the first time since she'd arrived.

“Come on, we have some gym clothes that should fit you. We don't want to be sweaty all day.” She turned to us, “Have fun with the rest of the tour girls.” The two headed into the jungle gym which shared showers and change rooms with the regular gym.

Dad smiled and waved goodbye. “Well since you two have already seen the base, what would you like to do now?”

“Is Annie still here? I'd like to say hi,” Theresa asked.

I answered for Dad. “Yeah, she is, and working today. I actually wanted to say hi to her to.”

“Alright, you two go say hi, I'll be in the control room making sure there aren't any emergencies,” he said.

I led Theresa to the kitchen/dining hall, where Annie would probably be cleaning things before lunch. It wasn't much of a kitchen, most people brought meals from home or ordered out, but for long term guests or when a hero was pulling an all nighter or lying low, I was told it was nice to have a kitchen. As expected Annie was there wiping the tables off and making sure everything was nice and tidy. She was the head of general maintenance, as well as being a really nice lady.

“Annie!” Theresa shouted as soon as she saw the woman.

Turning around, Annie gave the girl a big hug, a few blue, downy feathers fell from her hair. Annie was a mutant, not a big powerful one, she could just teleport little things a few feet, which saved her time when cleaning up clutter, and all of her hair had turned into feathers. She usually wore a wig outside, and shaved her arms and legs regularly, so she wasn't bothered by the more anti-mutant people.

“Theresa, how are you? How is Whateley?”

“It's pretty good. I've met a lot of people like me, and was able to pick up this fake skin that looks almost as good as real skin. And I've got a boyfriend!”

That made Annie grin. “You'll have to tell me all about it later, and I hope you brought pictures of him.” She saw me and her smile faded a little. “El, your parents told me you'll be going to Whateley next year, I trust Theresa has been telling you what to expect.”

“How much did they tell you?” I asked nervously.

“Just the basics, and that you're having a bit of a hard time. But buck up, you've survived almost being sacrificed, and saved the world, you'll handle this,” she assured me.

Theresa looked at me wide eyed. “You saved the world.”

“Not really. I just broke a forcefield some cultists had put up, so Mom and a few others could come in and stop them from summoning their god to earth,” I said.

“Just broke a forcefield!” Annie practically shouted. “Sit down and let me tell you what I heard.”

So we spent the next half hour hearing about my exploits in far more detail then I thought possible. She also made me sound a lot more heroic then I'd felt at the time. I still had nightmares about the event when I didn't take my sleeping pills, alongside the ones about my changing body, and what I remembered involved a lot more screaming, terror and pain.

The subject naturally moved to my parents, and Annie proved once again to be a wonderful storyteller, talking about things my parents had done, villains they'd defeated and people they'd saved. I'd heard the stories before, often from Annie herself, but it was always nice to hear them again.

“Have you thought any more about becoming a hero, Theresa?” Annie asked after telling how my parents had saved Christmas.

“A little, but I'm thinking that I might not be cut out for it. The superhero kids seem kind of intense,” she admitted. “I know my powers could be good for it, trapping people in dirt and rock is a lot better than just punching them or hitting them with a car, but I'm not brave enough. Not like Estelle or her parents. She'll make a great superhero.”

“I'm not going to be a superhero!” I said, startled that she could believe that I'd be great at it.

“Why not?” she asked sounding honestly surprised.

How could I explain the curse? It wasn't like I had told anyone else, that would have invited questions about why a supervillain would want to curse my parents. I'd cried about it a lot with Uncle Herb, and even a few times with Annie or Reese after a really bad day, but they knew all about it. Heck Uncle Herb knew more about the curse then I did, since he'd tried to make a couple of devises over the years to let my family feel things normally. But actually telling someone not in the know, I found myself tongue tied.

Annie stepped in. “Being a superhero isn't always easy. And a lot of time it's harder on the family than anyone else.”

Theresa gave me a questioning look but didn't push. We let Annie get on with her work, and wandered around saying hi to the regular staff, checking out the newest addition to the little museum and helping Theresa get a few little gifts for her friends back at school using my family discount. A little over two hours after leaving Mom and Kota, my phone buzzed, letting us know it was time to meet up again.

We walked back to the to dining room, and I had to pause at the door. Kota and Mom were sitting down, freshly showered, talking excitedly about parkour, with their arms around each other looking more like mother and daughter than friends. Exactly how I wanted to hold Mom, the way I wanted the world to see us. But I couldn't. To people who watched us, we'd come off as cold, impersonal, uncaring, even if it wasn't true.

Stiffening my spine, I tried to follow Theresa making it look natural. I was used to this. I'd seen Mom and Dad hugging and giving pats on the back to other kids they'd cared for, I did the same thing with Uncle Herb. But it always hurt. I wanted to hold Mom like that. And to see this girl who didn't want to be a girl, hugging Mom with a body I'd do anything to have just made it worse.

I refused to cry.

No one seemed to notice that I had fallen a step behind Theresa. Mom might have seen how I had pasted on a friendly smile to hide the pain in my eyes, but she didn't say anything. Dad came in a second later, giving me a quick, gentle pat on the shoulder, while squeezing Theresa's shoulder more tightly, more fatherly.

Mom's smile wavered slightly when she looked up at Dad, but she quickly recovered from whatever she'd seen in his face. “Alright, who's hungry?”

It turned out we all were, after the long drive into the city, and almost three hours at the headquarters. Dad held Mom back while the rest of us went to the elevator. After five minutes of listening to Kota and Theresa talk about what they'd done, Mom and Dad caught up to us. They were looking at me with expressions I'd seen far too much of in the last two months, fear.

**

At the restaurant, as we got out of the SUV, I grabbed Dad's coat and motioned for him to wait while the others went ahead.

“What's up?” he asked when we were reasonably alone.

“What's going on?” I asked.

He sighed, knowing the look in my eye wouldn't let him get away with a quick answer. “The Blood Cult you helped stop in Vancouver is still around. They've reformed under new leaders, and while they only seem to have a few dozen members left, they're still dangerous. And... it's been confirmed, they're hunting you.”

Ok, this wasn't quite old news, but it wasn't necessarily new. “So, they can't really do much to me. They don't know my name, and they only have a few grainy photo's that got onto the internet.”

He shook his head. “Last night, they captured one of their priests. A low level one, but important enough. He had a USB chip with some pictures that are higher quality. They aren't perfect, but they have a good idea of what you look like. When questioned, he started shouting that you stole a fragment of their god.”

I felt dizzy, desperately catching myself against the side of the vehicle before I fell. “Oh god!”

“Don't worry, Estelle. They don't have your name, and they only have a few pictures that aren't very clear. When you get your haircut pick a totally different style, and get it dyed. In a few months, you'll look different enough that they won't have any idea who you are,” he tried to reassure me.

I practiced some deep breathing exercises, trying to keep calm. “So there is one good thing about becoming a boy.”

“Come on, let's go eat,” he said.

Despite being an energizer, and wanting at least one big meal a day, I wasn't very hungry.

**

Dad and I went shopping by ourselves, getting some last minute Christmas gifts, while mom and our guests went off to do something else. I didn't want to see how Kota and Mom were hanging out and hugging each other, so I didn't even ask to tag along. It wasn't worth the anger, and really the only reason it was affecting me was that Kota had been a boy. If it was Theresa, I'd have been ok with it, but it was like a double whammy for me when I saw them like that. At least Mom was nice enough to avoid doing it too often when I could see.

Our first stop was the bookstore. I got a new book about international supervillains for Faith, and because she was at least an acquaintance if not a friend, a book on mutant heroes for Tammy, which I knew would annoy her in a way she couldn't complain about. Yeah, normally books for teenage girls wouldn't be a big thing, unless it was Twilight or something, but if you went to Everest it was generally because you really wanted to learn and were good at it. There were some who went simply because they were suppose to and their parents had money, but the school played fair with the marks, so those girls washed out or barely slid by.

We walked through the rest of the mall, getting some CD's and DVD's for people who we couldn't think of anything better to get. Dad got me to help pick out a diamond necklace and a set of earrings. I took my time looking over the jewelry. Every year since I got my ears pierced at ten, my parents got me a set of earrings for Christmas. If they bothered this year, it would be for the very last time. Holding up a turquoise necklace and earring set that highlighted my dark brown eyes I was tempted to buy it for myself, even if I could only wear it for a few months and it would break my bank account.

Dad finally dragged me out by reminding me I had a hair appointment at five.

We met the others just outside the salon. Kota looked very uncomfortable, but didn't say much except for a hello. She had a bag of what looked like clothes with her, Mom took the bags that Theresa had, and left with Kota, telling us to have a good time.

Theresa and I went in and took our seats. My stylist was shocked when I told her how I wanted my hair done, cutting my long dark hair to just above the shoulders, and getting it dyed a gold blonde. I was tempted to get it cut even shorter, but I just couldn't go through with it, not so soon. Theresa was just as surprised, but at least when I told her it was for personal reasons, after she and the stylist wouldn't accept 'I just want a change,' as an excuse, she dropped it with a knowing, sympathetic look.

When I managed to blink away the tears, I had to admit I looked really different. The way my new blonde hair went with my skin added new shadows and angles to my face. If the cult was using photo's of me before I got my permanent sunburn, they would have a lot of trouble finding me. So at least my hair was sacrificed for a worthy cause. And I'd have had to cut it short eventually, I could just convince myself it was better to do it in stages rather then all at once.

Yeah right.

**

That evening after a long day, a good supper, and a few Christmas movies, I was sitting in my room writing in my diary trying to get my brain relaxed enough to maybe sleep without taking any pills, when there was a knock on the door. Opening it revealed Kota, wearing long shorts and a t-shirt that I assumed were her pajamas. I also noticed that her hair was in a simple braid rather then a ponytail.

“Can I come in?” she asked, chewing on her lower lip.

Curious about what she could want to talk about, I stepped aside and waved her over to my big stuffed chair. “Yeah sure.”

Sitting down on my bed, I noticed a flicker of discomfort from Kota as she looked around my pink room, stuffed toys, and boy band posters. Well it was my room not hers, so it wasn't my problem if she didn't like it, I took the high ground and didn't comment on it.

She crossed her leg like a guy, with the ankle on her knee, which would be really embarrassing in a skirt, and would look bad in pants if she did it in public. I wondered if she knew what she was doing and if I should correct her, but decided if it could wait until I was asked, or we were actually comfortable around each other, if that ever happened. Kota played with her fingers for a few seconds, looking at them as if they were the most fascinating things in the world.

“I'm sorry,” she said.

That was not what I expected. “About what?”

“Today. When you walked in on your mom and I talking and laughing. I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry.”

It was my turn to look at my hands. “Oh, I didn't think you noticed.”

“I did. I thought you were going... going to cry. And since I... promised your mom to try to get along with you I just wanted to say I'm sorry. That's all I wanted to say.” She started to get up.

I pushed her back down. “It's not your fault. You- you don't need to say your sorry.”

A look of relief appeared. “Really.”

“Yeah, really.”

There was another long drawn out silence. Finally, “Can I ask you a question?”

I nodded.

“Why don't you hug your mom?” she asked in a rush.

Grabbing my stuffed dog, I tried to think of the best way to explain things. Nothing came to mind, my mind just went blank. Finally in desperation I just said, “I can't.”

“Why not?” she asked, confusion written on her face.

“One of the problems of being a superhero,” I muttered, adding to her confusion. “Mom and Dad were cursed, and so was I. When we touch each other it's like touching cold stone, it can even hurt. We can touch through clothes and things, which is kind of nice, but hugging each other without a thick sweater or a coat isn't worth the pain. So yeah, it wasn't your fault today, but... thanks.”

“That sucks,” she said softly, her voice full of pity.

Sparks fell from my fingers, anger filled me. I didn't hate her but I couldn't stand the pity in her eyes. Kota jumped away watching the sparks nervously. “Sorry. Sorry.” Taking a deep calming breath, I got the sparks to stop. “I was about to go to bed, we have a big day tomorrow seeing family friends and stuff. I'll introduce you to some of my friends.”

“Sure. Goodnight Estelle,” she said.

“Goodnight.”

When the door was closed, I opened the bottle of sleeping pills and took two instead of the usual one.