*Chapter 5*

Fondue
 
 
“Don’t be daft, she’s got a right rack.” Claire announced.

I pulled my sweatshirt tight, even with my tight sports bra there could be no mistaking my girls pushing out the material.

“But, when we’re riding?”

“I wear a size bigger jersey than I need.” I offered as I rearranged my top, “People see what they want to see.”

“I don’t understand, hang on, the dance at Lilleshall, it was you with that skater girl.” She accused.

“Jess, yup guilty as charged, it wasn’t my idea though.”

“She says.” Mand snuck in.

“It wasn’t. No one’s supposed to know though Claire, please don’t tell anyone.” I pleaded.

“So why don’t you race as a girl? You’d win everything.”

Why don’t I? Well I guess I will be next season.

“It’s complicated.” I supplied.
 
 

We ended up getting a hotdog from one of those mobile cart things down near the bridge.

“So if no one’s s’posed to know how come you’re grinning from every fence post in Switzerland?” Claire pursued around a mouthful of processed meat product.

Okay, it’s a good question and if you weren’t at the Verkehrshaus on Friday not one you’d know the answer to, so of course I had to fill them both in on the full story.

“That’s just so funny, Drew.” Claire announced.

“Gaby, it’s Gaby when mister Bond here is in a dress.” Mand pronounced.

“Gaby?”

“Yeah, it’s short for Gabrielle.” I admitted.

“So like, those German girls, they know about Gaby?”

“Uh huh and Josh.”

“But you’re sharing with Josh!”

“Tell me about it.” I sighed.

“That is just so wrong.”

“Not for Drew it’s not.” Manda put in.

“But…”

“I’m here as Drew, Claire, I’ll live even if he does snore.”

“But what if he tries anything?”

“Josh? Not gonna happen, I’d just tell Tali.”

“The German girl?”

“Yeah, she’s his girlfriend.”

“Damn.”
 
 

“Okay people, settle down.” Steve requested.

It took a couple of minutes but we finally gave him our attention.

“The food will be a few minutes coming so we might as well get this out of the way whilst we wait. Thanks to Speedy, Tiny and He-man we are in the unenviable position of winning three of the four individual categories today which now leaves us with a bit of a problem for the rest of the week. I’m sure the guys have already told you, today’s result wasn’t planned in any way, it was mostly luck and opportunism – we can’t rely on that for the rest of the Tour so we’ve come up with a strategy that will need everyone’s help to succeed.”

He paused briefly before going on.

“We won’t be defending the Yellow, we don’t have the strength in depth and those directly involved agree it would be futile to try. On the other hand we do have an attainable target, Drew’s Mountain classification. The aim won’t be to get Drew to the top of all the climbs first, nice as that might be, but instead we need to prevent the other contenders scoring points in the competition. So tomorrow we need everyone to be there for the day’s big climb over the Brünig Pass – if we’ve anyone left in to contest the finish it’ll be a bonus. Questions?”

Sal raised a hand, “Some of us aren’t exactly mountain goats, just getting over the pass might be pushing us to the limit let alone racing it.”

“Good point,” Caroline observed. “What we want to try and do is crowd the peloton to the base of the climb proper, keep the pace fairly high but generally protect Drew from attacks. If past experience is anything to go by no one will be very interested in attacking before the climb and a high pace will hopefully deter anyone thinking of such a move.”

“Thanks, Caroline, anyone else?” Steve enquired.

From the look on some faces there certainly were but no one wanted to voice them.

“Let me make this clear, you all did well today, what you lack in experience you made up for with enthusiasm. You are here not for us to win but to gain more of that precious experience, we’ll go over tomorrow’s stage in more detail in the morning. Ot oh, looks like the food’s coming so I’ll shut up.”

 
 
He wasn’t wrong, a flock, well there were three, of waitresses started to distribute the soup course, a thin soup with vegetables and dumplings which whilst quite tasty did little to satisfy anyone’s hunger.

“I could eat that again,” Laura observed.

“Could’ve done with more of those dumpling things.” Darren noted.

“Yeah, me too,” I agreed.

“Piglet!” Manda put in.

“So what’s the main tonight?” Claire queried.

I checked the me and you, “Ooh – it’s fondue.”

For those of you unfamiliar with Swiss cuisine fondue is almost the national dish. Essentially it’s a pot of melted cheese that you dip pieces of meat or bread into, I’ve been wanting to try it since Mum went on about having it at the team’s ski camp last January. As if waiting for my cue the trio of servitors arrived to remove our bowls which were replaced in short order by the fondue stoves.

“What’s this stuff for?” Gethin asked.

“It’s to keep the cheese hot.” I offered.

“Cheese?”

“Yep, that’s what fondue is, you’ll see.”

“I hope it’s not strong cheese, can’t stand smelly cheese.” Sal mentioned.

“It won’t be Cheddar, I think it’s special cheese just for this.” I observed.

Pots of bubbling cheese soon arrived, stoves were lit, the dipping element placed in front of each of us and a little hesitantly our first fondue party got underway. Of course Claire managed to drop her first bit of meat into the yellow morass – you really need to spear your food before dipping in. Getting it out and eating your cheese coated morsel is another art; but with our platters of food to dip we had a chance to practice the technique.
 
 

“Man, I’m stuffed, like.” Josh announced patting his stomach.

“You didn’t have to finish Laura’s and your own.” Manda pointed out.

“I’m a growing lad, like.”

“Growing what?” Laura queried with a grin.

“Eh?”

Josh can be a bit thick at times.

“Come on you lot, early night, it’s gonna be a hard day tomorrow and don’t forget we’re moving hotel as well tomorrow.” Dad chided as he herded us back into the hotel.

“Aww, no fair, Mr Bond.” Mand groaned.

“Life’s not fair, so hop to it, girls.”

They were in a silly mood so we had to put up with an impromptu demonstration of five year olds doing rabbit impersonations – you wouldn’t think that I’m the youngest here.
 
 

“Some day, eh?” Josh sighed as he collapsed onto his bed.

“Interesting, you want the bathroom?”

“Go for it, man, I need to start packing like.”

“Cheers, bud.”

Once in the bathroom I locked the door and pulled my handy out, hmm one message – Bern.

‘Hi G, ? it going. Bn p’ng dwn here. D kpng me up all nt, hugs B’

Text speak – some one needs to write a dictionary! Let’s see now:

‘Hey B gd 2 hr fr u. 3rd td ldg mtns. Gv D hug fr me, ttfn Gabs’

Hope she understands that. Now then, Toni – I am not telling you what I sent to Italy, ut uh! I got a reply after a couple of minutes that contained just as much sloppy talk as I’d sent which had my insides going mushy again.

“Drew man, you died in there?” Josh’s voice broke through the gooeyness.

“Erm soz, be right out.”

“No rush like, woz just a bit quiet, man.”

I stowed my phone and got on with my ablutions.

“Thought you were changing like?” Josh observed when I emerged five minutes later.

“Forgot to take ‘em in, ‘s’all yours.”

“In a bit.”

“I sort of told Claire.” I offered.

“Told her what, man?”

“About Gaby?”

“What youse do that for?”

“She pretty much spotted it was me on all those posters.”

“You look a right fox in that outfit like.”

“Thanks for that opinion.” I snapped.

“Ah wuz only saying, like.”

“It gets old quick seeing those all day.”

“I guess, so what’d Claire say?”

“Well I almost had to get the girls out to convince her.”

“Tha gorls?”

“These?” I thrust out my boobies.

“Man! Give over like!”

“Oops soz,” I apologised, “well she seems okay with it.”

“Hope she keeps the lid on.”

“I think she will, it’s not like anyone else would believe her is it, those posters make me look pretty stacked and I hardly walk around in a dress do I?”

“Drew, Man!”

“What?”

“Clothes?”

“Eh, oh sugar, sorree.” Without thinking, I’d pulled my jumper off taking my T with it revealing the girls squished in my BH. I grabbed up my PJ top and covered myself.

“Go get changed eh, before ah have a heart attack.” He ordered.

Talk about embarrassing.

© Maddy Bell 14.01.14