I got about halfway to the corner store before the clouds started to form. The good news? They didn’t seem to be spreading out! In fact, they were basically just covering my block and a few around it. The bad news? They were covering my block. That included my apartment, and the store! And they weren’t light and fluffy clouds, either! They were dense, dark purple monstrosities promising to let loose an absolute torrent of violet rain.

You know that monstrosity from the TV show? The thing bigger than a building? That’s… Probably not what I was going to end up with! More like a small army of human sized globs wandering around consuming everything. But since oozes tended to combine when they bumped into one another, they could still get pretty big!

So, big question of the hour - how did I want to handle this? I mean, I was already halfway to the store! Same distance to and fro, y’know? And it’s not like my apartment offered much better protection than the convenience store. And the convenience store had food! Not good food, mind you, but food! That I could pay to heat up and eat on the premise, while waiting out the storm! And, hey, if the magical girl who’d inevitably show up to clean up the ooze happened to be in my general area… I mean, I was dressed in ooze-safe clothes, right? What was the worst that could happen?

So yeah. I guess it wasn’t much of a question at all, was it? I was moving onward to the convenience store! And I was going to step on it, because I was pretty sure I’d just seen a raindrop fall from the corner of my eye!

Also in front of my eyes. And on top of my head. And to my left and right. And did I mention on top of my head? Because there was suddenly ooze sliding down my cheek, and oh god it was so slimy. Which I guess should be obvious, but ew ew ew! I couldn’t even wipe it off - when I tried, it just clung to my hand instead! And oh god. It got into my shoes. And my socks? Guess they were synthetic after all, because they were gone in two seconds flat, and I could feel it squishing between my toes, and… Gah! It was-

Over?

Huh. 

Guess it was a flash shower? Those were rare, but not exactly unheard of. Kinda convenient for anyone trapped in them, since you didn’t have to deal with the slime sliding all over you for long. Except for the bit where it was going to form puddles, and then those puddles were going to come together to form slimes, and those slimes were going to go around trying to eat any inorganic things they could…

But that didn’t have much to do with me! Though it did mean I was kinda stuck outside? I mean, for obvious reasons, people sorta sealed their doors shut while oozes were wandering around. But on the bright side, the slime was already squirming its way off of me, and towards… The…. Bright pink light?

Wait. There was already a magical girl on the scene!? What the hell! No wonder the slime on me left so quick - those girls were basically beacons of all that was good and anti-ooze. Or at least that was my theory as to why they always seemed to get swarmed by ooze, the moment they appeared. The stuff was drawn to them like iron filings to a magnet.

Not that I was all that different. I was running towards her even faster than the slime, after all! And who could blame me? I mean, there was a real life magical girl fighting right in front of me! Who knew when - or if - I’d get a chance like this again? No way I wasn’t going to get myself an up close look at a magical girl in action!

…Not that there was much ‘action’ to be had, from what I could see. Even from a distance, it was clear the pink-haired girl had everything under control. In fact, she looked almost bored from what I could tell. Like this was just routine cleanup to her…

Hell, maybe it was? I mean, sure, there was certainly an awful lot of slime on the ground, but it wasn’t like it had even gathered itself together as of yet. It was mostly loose droplets she was dealing with, for the time being.

Of course, it wasn’t going to stay like that. Already, bits of slime were pooling together, forming into small blobs, which in turn merged together into bigger bits, until they finally reached the size of my torso. I could even see some of them starting to take on a feminine shape - though it was a lot less detailed than what I’d seen in the cartoon. More like a mockery of the female form than anything, really…

Well, whatever. I was sure Miss Pink-hair had it under control! And I had more important things to worry about, anyways - like figuring out who exactly I was watching at work. Pink hair wasn’t exactly uncommon among magical girls, but at the same time there weren’t that many of them patrolling my area. Judging by the twintails… Probably Pink Heart? Yeah, I was pretty sure that was her. I’d only seen a few pictures of her - she was still pretty new - but the heart at the tip of her wand was a dead giveaway, when combined with her hair style.

New or not, though, she was handling things like a pro - blasting every bit of goo that got close to her. More and more were coming, though, combining as they went to form larger and larger slimes. A quick glance behind me showed that things were only going to get worse, too.

Not that I was too surprised. Flash rains were like that - they released less goo than a traditional shower, but they made up for it by covering a larger area, meaning that a lot of the slime would have time to gather itself up together before actually reaching a magical girl. Pink Heart didn’t seem particularly concerned, though. She just kept waving her wand, shooting pink hearts at anything that got close to her, causing them to dissolve into nothingness long before they had a chance to make contact. 

I couldn’t help but notice that the slimes were getting a little more tenacious, though - most of them were going down in one hit, but some of the bigger ones were starting to tank the shots, forcing her to repeat fire. Combined with the fact that she was all by herself… Honestly, I was a little worried she might be in trouble. I mean, sure, she had a high rate of fire - more than high enough to keep up with the quantity, from what I could tell - but it wasn’t like the slimes were coming at her in a straight line or anything! They were coming from all sides, nonstop, forcing her to spin around and around as she took down slime after slime. Honestly, just watching her was making me feel dizzy…

Ah, but she was a magical girl! A powerful figure of magic and grace that could outperform any lowly mortal. Just because I’d get queasy from that much spinning didn’t mean she would! In fact, this was probably a walk in the park for her! Just basic clean up duty.

…I mean, otherwise, she’d have called for her squad, right? Unless they were already on their way…. But there was no way she would have activated her transformation without backup if she couldn’t handle things… right?

Right… She was fine. Even if her expression was starting to look a little strained. Very strained, even. Maybe because the slimes were now getting big enough to take four or five hits, as they closed in from all sides… but she had it handled, right? I mean, she was a magical girl! A hero! A badass with more power than I could even conceive! No way she’d go down to a few… uh. Dozen? Slimes. Even if a quick glance behind me did show even bigger ones coming…

…Well, backup would probably arrive soon, right? Yeah. Definitely. And it wasn’t like I could help, anyways - I mean, the slime was totally ignoring me to focus on her, to begin with, so I couldn’t exactly distract it, and normal humans weren’t really capable of damaging the stuff, so… Yeah…

It was fine. She’d be fine! Even if she was slowly backing up, towards a building… I mean, putting her back against a wall was just good strategy, right? It kept things from sneaking up on her! Let her focus in one direction. One… overwhelming…. direction. Full of endless slimes.

Dammit, where were the other magical girls? Didn’t they know Pink Heart was in trouble? Shouldn’t they have rushed to the scene already? I mean, Magical Girls were meant to work in teams for a reason!

Maybe I could help after all? Maybe I could… I don’t know. Stomp on a slime or two? Try to run interference? Even if it just bought her an extra few seconds, it would be worth it. It might give her backup enough time to show up…

Yeah. That was the ticket. I was going to run interference! I was going to help! I was going to… stare helplessly as a slime launched itself at Pink Heart, striking her in the chest, and causing her wand to flicker out…

Crap.

I ran. Not away from the slimes, but towards the magical girl. Towards Pink Heart. If I could get the slime off of her in time - if I could somehow drag it from her body - she’d be fine, right? She’d survive, at least! But there was already more slime coming after her, launching itself forward to strike her. Even as I watched, her legs buckled and she fell, allowing more slime to climb on her. By the time I reached her, she was already covered from head to toe in the stuff…

I wasn’t the sort to give up, though! No. I was made of sterner stuff than that! Maybe I couldn’t be a magical girl, myself, but I could still do my part! Maybe if I got her out fast enough…

With that thought in mind, I took a deep breath and plunged my hand into the slime, blindly groping for Pink Heart. Thankfully - for both our sakes - said blind groping found an arm, instead of something more embarrassing. A quick tug was all it took to get her out, the slime surprisingly willing to release its prize.

For a moment, I felt like a hero. I mean, I’d saved a magical girl, right? I’d rescued one of Earth’s protectors! Except when I looked at the girl I’d dragged out? It wasn’t Pink Heart. It was just… a girl. A normal girl, with brown hair and green eyes.

Where had she come from? How had she gotten under the slime? Last I checked, Pink Heart and I were the only ones out and about, and it was Pink Heart who got swallowed by slime so why was this girl here, instead?

Was I missing something? Was I hallucinating? Pink Heart disappearing was weird enough, but for this girl to show up in her place… it just didn’t make sense! It was like… like… they’d swapped places, or something. But a magical girl would never put a civilian in danger like that! Even if the ooze wasn’t particularly interested in non-magical girls, there was still a chance she could have suffocated under all that silme…

So what happened? Where was Pink Heart? Who was this girl? It was weird… I almost felt like I should know the answer, somehow. Like I had all the puzzle pieces in front of me, but for some reason they wouldn’t quite fit together. Maybe I was missing something…?

Well, wondering about that could wait until later. For now, I needed to get this girl somewhere safe. By which I meant ‘a few feet to the left,’ away from the pile of slime. I figured I’d keep an eye on her until she woke up. From a little bit away, of course. Wouldn’t want to spook her when she woke up. In fact, it was probably better if I backed up all the way out past the building’s awning, just to make sure she didn’t freak out too badly when she woke up to some random dude staring at her…

“At least the slime seems to have calmed down…” I muttered to myself, glancing around me. The stuff was still there, but without an actual magical girl to go after the slime bits were basically just moving about aimlessly, searching for inorganics to consume. Not great, but not a danger, either… I just hoped whoever owned the building had made sure to keep its coating up to date. It would suck if the whole place collapsed because they couldn’t be bothered to keep up with basic safety measures…

Ding. New host-friend candidate found.

I jumped, caught off guard by the sudden noise and the almost mechanical speech, both coming from the direction of the girl. A moment later something materialized between the two of us - a pink crystal.

A magic crystal.

Physical contact required for bonding. Please touch the crystal, in order to initialize the contract.

“Bwuh?”

Please touch the crystal, in order to initialize the contract.

“Contract…?” I asked. “Wait. You’re… You mean a magical girl contract?”

Please touch the crystal, in order to initialize the contract.

“Wait, wait, wait! There’s gotta be some mistake here. I mean… I’m a guy. I can’t be a Magical Girl!”

Host suitability has already been determined. Please touch the crystal, in order to initialize the contract.

I stared at the crystal for a moment, eyes wide and jaw slack. I’d heard of magical girl contracts before. I’d dreamed of them, even. But… I was a guy. A guy couldn’t be a magical girl, could they?

Large amounts of violet ooze detected in the area. Clean up required. Please touch the crystal, in order to initialize the contract.

“...R-right,” I whispered, mostly to myself. Touch the crystal to initiate the contract. That’s how it always went, in the stories… though usually the crystals were a little more personable in the media I’d read. Maybe it was just that we hadn’t formed a contract yet, though?

…Not that I was going to form a contract, or anything. I mean, not to beat a dead horse, but I was a guy. A guy can’t be a magical girl!

Please touch the crystal, in order to initialize the contract.

…Then again, if guys couldn’t be magical girls, then… well, what was the harm in touching it? It wasn’t like it would actually do anything, right? The crystal would just take one look at me, figure out we weren’t compatible, and take off towards a proper candidate. No harm, no foul.

Please touch the crystal, in order to initialize the contract.

Hesitantly, I reached out to touch the cool surface of the pink crystal.

Initializ-

Right before a big dollop of violet ooze slid off the awning, hitting the crystal and my hand alike.

 -ȋ̴͎̮̫̩͆̊̈́͋͊̒̃̅͛̕͝ń̴̨͈̗͉̺̟̭̲̤̩͛̐̅̿̊̅̅͌͝ģ̵̼͙̙̞̦̽̎̓̈́̈

~~~

Author's Notes

So, fun fact - I finished chapter 1 of this story almost a year ago, but I never continued it because I had writer's block. The other day, though, I was lying in bed, dealing with insomnia, and my brain drifted over to Naughty Magic in that way ADHD brains do, and suddenly I had the urge to finish up chapter 2.

I then proceeded to write chapter 3 and half of chapter 4 in the same day, still without any sleep. Turns out it's actually easier to write this story when I literally lack the mental power to overthink it. Not that I'm planning to purposefully lose sleep over it.

Chapters 3 and 4 are already up on Patreon, and I've gotten started on chapter 5 - no promises, but I'm hoping to run this alongside Demon Queened. It's good to shut my brain off and write sometimes.