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Admin Note: Sephrena I have disabled commenting because this thread is spiralling towards argument. It's best to leave this be and agree that some cannot agree on this issue.
Sometimes, I kinda doubt my femininity. I mean, I grew up with images of women who were just as strong as the men they loved, but to be honest, I think I’d have to call myself a Warrior woman if I’m any sort of woman at all. Think Red Sonja, except more militantly feminist.
I suppose today at the dollar store would be a perfect example of what I mean.
I went to get hubby his meds(one heart med at the pharmacy and a dollar bottle of aspirin). Anyway, the whole thing was going ok until I stood in line (a very long line) at the dollar store for the aspirin. A guy jumped the line in front of me and about 2/3 of the line. I called him on it.
The guy he jumped in behind decide to cause an issue. My reaction was to argue the point, and to insist that the line jumper should go to the back of the line like everyone else. I would have just let the thing go except for the next line from him “Well what do you expect when you look like that?”
I was confused for a moment. Here I was, face and body freshly depilated, hair in a neat braid reaching about to mid back(My eyebrows could have used some neatening). I wasn’t exactly sure just how he was insulting me!
I mean, it could have been racial(I was the only white person in the line and this is a predominantly black neighborhood), It could have been him insulting me for being a hippie(That’s the image I try to project.) or he could have been insulting me as a TG person.
At that point, it didn’t exactly matter to me. My response was very simple and very direct (I’m not exactly a subtle person). I asked him if he wanted to throw down (As in do battle, hand to hand)right there in the aisle. The part of my own reactions that confuses me is that I was somewhat disappointed when he didn’t take me up on it. I was so horribly insulted that I truly wanted to kick his ass right there in the store, with like 20 people in the line all taking his part and the part of the guy who had barged in line.
I should mention that if I offer to fight someone, I'm not just whistling dixie. Daddy was a SEAL and taught me hand to hand(As well as fighting with pretty much any sort of weapon). I've sparred with guys who hold multiple black belts in various arts and I find them not to be a challenge. In point of fact, I have not yet met my equal in hand to hand combat. That doesn't mean I seek it, but being who I am where I am, it is sometimes not an option to run away(And BTW, running away and avoiding a fight is always the first and best option).
I’m wondering if the hormones are messing with my mind. Previously, I would have just stood in line and let the guy barge in front of me, basically unwilling to say anything. This time I not only spoke up but was willing to back my speech with force when confronted. That is so totally not like me.
Anyway, I wound up just leaving the store without what I came to get. I never did find out just what the guy meant with his comment. The only thing I know is that I’m still really angry about the whole incident.
Comments
A side note
Adding to my confusion is the fact that hubby tells me I was in the wrong there. He tells me the guy had a right to jump the line since he had already bought something and simply wanted to buy a drink.
So now he's telling me I was wrong and I shouldn't have said anything. I mean, I know I'm socially inept and well, pretty much a wild child, but I would never jump the line in that way!
He seems to totally discount the insult I was offered(Even though I'm not sure exactly what the insult was).
Anyway, I was seriously considering a formal challenge before I left.
For those of you who don't know, Code Duello is still enshrined in South Carolina law({Even though it hasn't been active since 1926}and yes, I actually make a point of carrying a right hand glove in my backpack for the purpose of smacking someone with it to declare a duel). I also carry a .45 auto(My grandfather's WW2 sidearm) for which I have a concealed carry license.
So when I say I was prepared to challenge the man to a duel, I mean it in the old fashioned way. Most of the citizens of the USA would not understand this, since this is not the truth where they live. But the truth is, here, if I formally challenge someone to a duel by smacking them across both cheeks with my glove(or with a letter), it is actually legal. Any death resulting from said duel is considered faultless, meaning no prosecution.
Wow!
I had no idea this was still true in any part of the USA! It sounds to me like he was definitely in the wrong, not you, though I would say that challenging him to a duel would be excessive. I don't understand why everyone would take his side against you, I'd think the other people in line behind you would be in complete agreement with you. Sounds like a very strange encounter, indeed.
As for the reaction being unusual for you, maybe you've simply become more confident in yourself? That could explain it, I think. I know I've become far more likely to stand up for myself than I used to be (Not saying a whole lot, probably, but still).
Saless
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America
another added comment
I guess I should mention in all of this that I stand 6 feet tall, and although the hormones have had some effect, I guess you wouldn't know I identify as female, even though I am not shaped like a male, never really have been. I wear baggy clothes to hide myself. I kinda shoot for looking androgynous because I figure it is the best I can do without fully dressing.
Anyway, today's incident kinda gave me the idea that this doesn't work. I can't say I'm reluctant to transition, but my size does make it a bit difficult. Like I said before, The best I can hope for is Red Sonja(Brigette Nielson). I will say straight up that I am a butch female who happens to love being submissive to the right man. I might bitch and moan, but the truth is, I met the right man a long time ago and he is everything I ever wanted. The only shortcoming is that he has taken this long to accept me as a woman.
Does that mean he is
Does that mean he is accepting you now?! I certainly hope so, for your sake! And height isn't as much of an obstacle as you might think, especially if you're not masculine in appearance, which it certainly sounds like you aren't. I'm about five foot eleven inches tall, and it doesn't cause any problems. I can wear three or four inch heels and the only reaction is "Wow, you're tall!" or something like that. I think some men actually prefer tall women, judging by the reactions I've gotten. Especially the long legs, they love those! ;)
Saless
P.S. I once had a guy ask me how tall I was while I was in line at the post office. When I told him he seemed very impressed, and said, "And you're wearing flat shoes!". I was kind of confused by this at the time, but later realized he saw me as a woman! To put things in perspective, I'd just barely started electrolysis and hadn't started hormones yet. I wasn't even trying to pass as a woman and never would have thought it possible at that point (I did have long hair, but I wasn't wearing female clothes). That incident still amazes me when I think about it!
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America
Well yeah, he kinda is
Well yeah, he kinda is accepting me as a woman, but like on a probationary basis. He's kinda seeing if he can deal with it. I guess the thing you gotta understand is, he's a very militant gay man and he resents the hell out of anything that gets in the way of his self identification as a gay man. Me transitioning threatens the very basis of his self concept. It is so much harder for him to watch me transition than it is for me to actually become who I have always been.
Top that with the fact that I am not very submissive(except in bed) and he is almost as confused as I was when I was a teenager and wanted to be as strong as the boys even though I wanted them to treat me like a girl.
We're a pretty fucked up pair, but the saving grace of the whole thing is that I love him with every fiber of my being and he feels the same way.
Oh, very much to my satisfaction, he turns out to be a breast man. Since I'm finally growing some, he has become most attentive to them and they are like his favorite new toy. Um, anybody know what to do about tit hickeys?
Tempting
I mean rudeness is just so common these days. But shooting him would probably be just a pinch over the top. Oh, standing in say joggers, I'm a lean 6 foot in the old language so it can be done. Be cool huh.
Kristina
Hey, I'd challenge him first!
Code Duello requires a formal challenge. The classical form of the challenge is to slap them across both sides of the face with the right glove(the left glove is a horrible insult[denoting that you do not consider the person worthy of a formal duel]demanding instant battle).
Anyway, Code Duello demands the formal issuance of a challenge, complete with field of honor and seconds and a judge to watch over the whole proceeding and declare that honor has been satisfied.
It is, in fact and in law, a classical duel.
The real problem is, could I actually claim to be a gentleman?
I'm not sure whether or not ladies could duel, or just what is the law about that.
Can a lady duel a man?
I'm not sure duelling
is a very girl thing. At the same time, I suspect standing up for oneself is a bit of middle aged behaviour. I don't let people get away with things I'd have ignored ten years ago - at the same time, if I can't win by force of personality/argument, I walk away. Sometimes I think it's better to walk away in the first place - these days people get stabbed for 'dissing' someone, whatever that means. It also seems that significant numbers of people have anger management problems, and even larger ones have no manners. As for guns -noisy dangerous things.
Angharad 5'7-8" and shrinking!
Angharad