metaspace questions

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Like... why does everyone go ape dookey when they find out I hate myself?

For that matter, why does it matter that I realize how fugly I am? As far as I'm concerned, I'd rather be wrong about the truth than wrong about a lie.

Get this "Hey world, I'm such a beauty and you should all worship me because I'm hot dookey!" Meanwhile I'm a pile of mud on legs. Blarg. That's hooey.

I'll keep telling people how fugly I am and if they think differenty, fine, they are allowed to be wrong. [shrugs]

Then there are all the people that go "God doesn't make trash yada yada yada". All well and good. God made me just fine. I'm the one that screwed up His good work, though, admittedly with LOTS of help. Lots and lots and lots.

And the people who are all: "everyone is beautiful in their own way" or "your beautiful on the inside and the outside doesn't matter". Again, BLARG! It's a well studied fact that people who are more physically attractive, as a rule, make more money than their ugly, or even average, contemporaires. Beautiful people have natural advantages. The outside *does* count. Please don't think I'm so shallow to think that the inside is not *at least* as important, if not many times more so. But the physical cannot be completely neglected. If so, then being homosexual or lesbian would be moot because the outside would be all that matters.

(*PLEASE NOTE* I don't care who you bump uglies with. I hate sex. Have all you want with whom you want. Just leave me out of it)

Isn't that a kick in the head? I can't wait for the arguments to that when I present it to the naysayers. You, my dear readers, are the first to see this new perspective . Don't you feel special? [smirk]

No one has ever been able to give me a coherent reason, however, of why I should not hate myself. Basically what I get is: "You're a nice, sweet person" yada yada yada "God doesn't make ugly" yada yada yada "it's the inside that counts, not the outside" yada yada yada "I love you so you should love you, too". Piffle.

If you love me, fine. There is no controlling love and no accounting for taste. I love peanut butter and cheese. I've met exactly 1 other person on earth that agrees with me. Everyone else thinks I'm nuts (and I'm not, I'm brain damaged. Huge difference.) but it is a matter of taste, not mentation.

I have great taste and I can prove it. I hate me. [shrugs again]

Anyway, enough ranting tonight. Well maybe not, but enough for now

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