Today was the first day of the rest of my life and I hated it. I bade goodbye to my husband the night before. He looked into my eyes and told me he loved me before he died. I can take comfort in that, at least. Now I am left with this yawning emptiness in my soul, a hole in my heart that can never be filled.

I suppose I can take some solace in the fact that I am now free to transition, to become the woman I have always wanted to be and he could never stand, but the truth is, I’d rather be tied to my ugly male self and have him to hold me at night.

I think I’ll just cut my wrists and join him in death. I can’t imagine living without him.