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Okay, I've done the google thing but didn't really find what I was looking for. A character of mine is going to die. I need a really top notch embarrassing way for it to happen.
Kind of like an abandoned space station burns up in the atmosphere, but not all of it. A fully intact toilet seat defeats reentry heat and lands on her head in the middle of a crowded plaza.
What are the odds?
That example was stolen from the defunct Showtime series 'Dead Like Me'. So I can't use that. The character is male, so that should narrow the way to die somewhat.
Any help would be... erm, helpful.
Lili
Ninja Edit: For a plot synopsis follow the link below to the blog post in question. I've prepared it for all the questions that I have received.
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/2009/06/22/the-embarrass...
Comments
Dude took Cialis a bit
Dude took Cialis a bit before his wife was due home from work to surprise her. She was late, but the plumber (he had forgotten about since when Jr. is rampant, most of the blood leaves a guys other brain), complete with plumber butt exposed by jeans with a waist band challenged by the stereotypical dunlop disease (his belly done lopped over his belt buckle) was working on the sink in the kitchen. Our hero enters the kitchen rampant, falls over the plumber who gets the wrong idea and he hits him in the head with a pipe wrench? He remains rampant throughout the investigation and autopsy, of course. The plumber gets off on mistaken identity. Well, one way or another.
Or, he is driving home in his convertible, top down, from a well described, somewhat really depraved assignation he blackmailed somebody into, goes through a clover leaf exchange, gets lined out on the highway he wants, when a wheel breaks off an axle from a truck or bus (so it will be suitably large) and plunges to the highway below at a combined speed (forward momentum plus falling velocity) of 95 mph and lands on the dude's head. The one sticking up from the shoulders, not the one in the pants. Splatter city.
Is this plot line gonna be like the reincarnation in "Goodbye Charlie"?
CaroL
CaroL
Synopsis for the Embarrassed Dead Guy Story
Here's the synopsis for the story. I haven't read Good Bye Charlie so I couldn't say.
I created this blog post to answer a number of questions I've been receiving about the story plot. Follow it and be enlightened.
Lili
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/2009/06/22/the-embarrass...
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
There Was A Case In New York
There was a case in New York where this Chinese immigrant got drunk and urinated on the middle rail of a Subway track. Needless to say, he was toasted rather well done. The family sued the New York Transit Authority claiming they were negligent, because they didn't post warning signs in Chinese. The guy was DRUNK! I seriously doubt that some intoxicated guy is going to take the time to read a sign anyway no matter what nationality they are. There was also a death in the first episode of "Dead Like Me" where a woman was walking past a high rise apartment building just as a work crew was hoisting a piano up to a fourth floor window. The cable snapped and the piano fell on the woman. In the foreground you see a parking meter click over to "Expired" Maybe you could have them fall in a manhole or have a vat of wet cement fall on them from a newly constructed building. They could then wind up as the newest statue in the city park and be dive bombed by the pigeons every day. Just a few ideas.
Throwing some in
When I was working at a hospital, there was a Teenager getting a Cat scan to make sure that he was okay. He had gotten drunk at a party and passed out on the front lawn. one of the drunkards leaving the party ran over him with his car.
I always liked the guy who is running his card at the filling station as his car (in neutral) starts rolling away and ends up in a water storage pond. Could have him run over while trying to stop his own car.
Just throwing some out there.
A.A.
We may have a winner!
A few that I found on the interwebs that didn't totally suck.
1. Choking on a lollipop after an airbag in a car forces it down your throat. (This would be my luck)
2. A mixture of mentos and Coca Cola. (This is an urban myth, but yanno...one in a million)
3. falling on a little kid that was running with scissors (I actually kinda love this one)
4. killed while walking on a sidewalk after being struck in the face by an airborne fire hydrant; A passing car blew a tire and swerved onto the sidewalk, striking the fire hydrant. The resulting water pressure rocketed the fire hydrant into the victim. (Actually happened.)
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
your #2, Mentos & Coke
Lillith,
Not sure if it's an 'urban myth' or not, but here's a link with explanations:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mentos_and_coke
-KR
Diet Coke and Mentos Death
I should have explained a little further. The urban myth was that some kid drank a whole bunch of Diet Coke and then ate a handful of Mentos. His stomach subsequently erupted, thus killing him.
It was the same myth perpetuated during the Pop Rocks era.
Some show interviewed a gastrointerologist (sp?) and he poo pooed the idea. While yes it would produce gas in the stomach, you couldn't help but burp it up. Nobody has died from it. It's always been somebody's third cousins friend that heard about a person dying.
But I suppose it couldn't be out of the question if someone had a disorder or injury that prevented them from burping, kind of like seagulls. That's where the one in a million thing comes in at.
A nasty, painful, and embarrassing way to die.
I was told... that if you fed Alka-Seltzer to Seagulls that the same thing would happen. Supposedly they have no way to expel gas rapidly. I dunno if that is an urban myth or what. I never really cared enough to find out. And since I'm not a sadist I never experimented either.
I still kinda like Number one though. I'd have to think of something else that had to be sucked on other than a lollipop. Nothing crude, since I'm aiming for the teen crowd.
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
There was a book I read...
Where a successful businessman (previously construction worker) with his family and a business companion were transferred in another world on his yacht by the Three Magi (yes, those same from the Bible) who were completely insane due to being senile for 2.5 thousands of years. His idea of stopping the seagulls from soiling his yacht? Feed them some unhydrated lime covered in bread. The seagulls literally exploded!
Faraway
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
There is no embarassment in death
Please have your character die with dignity. heart anourism, shot by a stray bullet or an arrow to the head from someone practicing with a bow and arrow. Even dying int the bthtub with the elctric radio falling in.
I've seen death up close and there is no embarrassment in it. Horrific perhaps byt not embarassing
Jill Micayla
May you have a wonderful today and a better tomorrow
Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.
Points of view
Please... I have also seen death up close. I've seen friends of mine up close as they dosed on bad heroin. They died a nice tortured death with whitish foam trailing from their nose and mouth. It was self-inflicted and horrific. Just say no, kids.
This is fiction. Fiction is entertainment, sometimes mixed with humor. Virtually everything in the world is funny if looked at from a certain point of view. If you don't find the humor in the worst parts of life (and death) then you fester in self-absorbed depression. I for one have been there and don't plan on returning.
I used to take life way to seriously. It ate at me and ate at me. So in defense against the debilitating dark times I turn to humor, which you will see mixed with even my darkest stories.
In my opinion there is plenty of embarrassment in death. Just take a look at a number of posts above this one. Or if you believe in an afterlife perhaps you can ask David Carridine if he felt embarrassed being found the way he was. I think there would be a resounding yes in reply. See, I used a little humor there.
Relax. Have a nice cup of hot chocolate or a mint julep.
:)
Lili
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
The after life for me is Peaceful and harmonious
In a program I belong to we have a principle "We find humor to be healthy." I seem to read it a lot as we do the groups.
I grew up wanting to be a mortician/Funeral Director.
while in Viet Nam I was surrounded with death. when I came home from war I never even gave it a thought about working in a funeral home.
Death is an end. How we die is how others often remember us.Dead is dead, the human body is a non-functioning carcass. Having your character slip on a banana peel and then landing in a large vat of cement could be seen as a slip and sealed event.
Jill
Jill Micayla
May you have a wonderful today and a better tomorrow
Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.
>> there is plenty of embarrassment in death...
Perhaps not personally, but conceptually. I was told as a child to wear nice underwear, lest I be taken to hospital and look like a tramp. While the possibility that I might be taken to hospital dead was not explicit, the fact that I would be helpless to prevent people seeing my undies was, so it's an iconic fear, somewhere between the bogeyman and the "thing in the cellar."
Cheers,
Puddin'
-
Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
Static electricity
Getting out of a car in dry cold weather creates a good static charge. One I've experience frequently in late fall and winter. Walking across a carpeted floor on the same type of day, creates up to 35000 volts of static charge which is released when you touch the doorknob. Having your unfortunate charged victim touch an improperly grounded device in the presence of ingnightable fumes such as a gas cooking stove, or flatulence (Burp/f--t) or a gasoline/petrol tank while being filled will result in a quick and suitable demise. This does happen rarely.
All you need is 2 dissimilar materials (rubber and nylon/wool skirt) rubbing together in dry air to create the charge and a metal object. Have fun, use your creativity to set up a situation when these events can happen.
Trish-Ann
Hugs,
Trish Ann
~There is no reality, only perception~
hmm
how about on a motorbike crashes against a farmers gate and flies into the back of a cow
term used in afterlife
Sh t Head
Okay,..
Eww.
'nuff said.
That 'would' prompt a lot of jokes, but a little too crude for this story. I'm trying to keep it in the Teen Fiction category. I didn't mention that earlier. Sorry.
And didn't that actually happen a dozen or so years back with an elephant at the zoo?
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
similar scene
I saw something similar to this in the movie Police Academy where the instructor was riding a motorcycle down a traffic jam and hits a car then lands head on into Horse's ass then the call goes out for a Proctologist. The only thing he did not die but it sure was embarassing later.
Hugs,
Jenna From FL
Hugs,
Jenna From FL
Moderator/Editor
TopShelf BigCloset
It is a long road ahead but I will finally become who I should be.
I seem to recall ...
... a film/book in which a man is killed when a pig falls on his head. The pig was being fattened on the balcony of an upstairs flat and eventually the fattening exceeded the ability of the balcony to support the animal. As a vegetarian I find an element of poetic justice in this - particularly as the victim so breaks the fall of the pig it survives whilst he, alas, doesn't :)
In my case, the only embarrassment I'm likely to experience at death is if I find there actually IS an afterlife LOL
Geoff
Actually is...
Nah. Who'd believe it? There are so many to choose from, including No Self, in which case there is no one to be chagrined. Being surprised by which one turns up, if any, is something like being surprised that a three of hearts is dealt in a card game instead of the seven of clubs. One looks at the card, shrugs, and moves on.
Cheers,
Puddin'
-----------
That I exist is a perpetual surprise...
--- Rabindranath Tagore
-
Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
Another one to add
Back in the early seventies, got out of the bath and opened the door a crack to let the steam escape. He drained the tub then leaned over to wipe it out. While he was in that position, the dog wandered in the open door and cold-nosed the dangly bits. Dad shreiked and tried to leap over the tub but there was a wall on the other side. He was agile enough not to really get hurt but he did bruise his forehead. :) The dog ran out, rolling his eyes with his tail between his legs and we all had a good laugh.
But the odd thing was, I had read just the previous month a newspaper account of someone in a big eastern city doing the same thing and knocking himself out leaping into the wall. His wife called the ambulance crew and they loaded him on a stretcher for a trip to the hospital to check for concussion. While they were carrying him down the stairs, she told them what had actually happened and they dropped him while laughing! Broke his arm, but it could as easily have been his neck.
It's pretty funny and very embarrassing but my Dad enjoyed telling it on himself. :) He also caught up to the dog and apologized for scaring him, that was my Dad. :)
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Slip Slidding Away, The nearer your destination the more...
For some reason this city's interstate is shut down at least once a year due to jack knifed trailer trucks haling pig entrails. Some times they don't jack knife, they just leak out either way the whole road is covered in a slimy, stinky, slippery mess that causes massive disruptions and occasional pile ups. Now add to that the potential victim attired inappropriately and sliding into another vehicle that would fit the situation? Example a racing bratwurst suited person headed to Miller Park rams into either a bread truck, or Oscar Myer Wiener Mobile. The city? Milwaukee
At one point or another
I've had characters
Get raped and strangled
Die in a plane crash
Die in a car crash
Die of respiratory failure due to Lou Gehrig's disease
Drink themselves to death(They were drunk when driving and wrecked their car)
Knifed
Shot
Decapitated
Thrown out a 33 story window
"I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens."- Woody Allen
Daniel, author of maid, whore, bimbo, and sissy free TG fiction since 2000
What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.- Oscar Levant
Iconic fear
I loved Puddintante's phrase there, and the suggestion that we all have a fear of an embarrasing death lurking there in our collective almost-unconscious.
It suggests to me a scenario of someone obsessed with this, who spends their whole life so scared of an embarrassing death that they not only actively try to avoid situations but also manage, by dint of overvigilance and auto-suggestion, to become notorious for a long string of near-death experiences of potentially staggering embarrasment (all of the above could be episodes) so that in the end, their great and appreciative public all feel deeply cheated that our protagonist has somehow, and shamefully, fallen short when they die peacefully in their sleep.
Or have I missed the point?
XX
AD
I don't think so...
In one of Heinlein's books, Beyond this Horizon, duels are not only legal but mandatory for armed citizens. One fellow, the protagonist, has an antique pistol constructed that uses gunpowder and lead bullets, and his theory is that it will discourage duels, because "blasters" leave such a neat corpse, the loser's hair barely mussed, that people will be more cautious about dying if it means having big holes blown through your body.
Moreover, we see people coerced to "die with dignity" in history and even in the present day, with condemned prisoners derided as "cowards" if they flinch or struggle.
Assuming that one doesn't plan to look down on the scene whilst floating off to Bardo or Paradise, what's the point of co-operating with the people who plan to murder you unless one considers the possibility of embarrassment?
Many murders are deliberately designed to humiliate and degrade the victim. Having particular villains hanged, drawn, quartered, and thrown to the dogs as snack food was a particular favourite in certain eras, but if "dead is dead," there's no particular point, other, perhaps, than to terrorise other potential victims.
Cheers,
Puddin'
-
Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
Momisms
After finding the killing yourself scissors thing I looked for more momisms to see if I could work something with them and ran across this page.
I think my mom actually used every single one of these on me... several times.
http://www.mothersdaycelebration.com/momisms.html
The only one i found was: What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you do it, too?
But that one was a little too obvious.
There was one that my mom always used that I never got. "My name is not Julie and I'm not your cruise director." That was usually in response to me saying, "I'm bored."
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
Julie...
Um, that would be Julie "I'm Your Cruise Director" McCoy, on the television series, The Love Boat, from from 1977 until 1986. It was usually paired with Fantasy Island, which made "Ze plane! Ze plane!" a popular introduction to or punch line of countless jokes.
The series was more popular among women, but many men liked it as well, as they usually had three stories, one of which was the love story one might expect on "the love boat," while the other two were straight comedy and comedy/drama.
Cheers,
Puddin'
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http://www.cbs.com/classics/the_love_boat/
Season One - Episode Two features a cross-dressing episode.
-
Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
My ambition is to die peacefully ..
... in my sleep like my uncle and unlike the passengers in the car he was driving at the time LOL I have few ambitions left.
Geoff
Hey, y'all...
Hold my beer and watch this!
No, it doesn't have to be a redneck thing -- though the reference, if handled properly, will be an eye-catcher. It's pretty much a standard boy thing to like to show off.
So now, our intrepid hero does something stupid and crashes and burns. Maybe he's too busy looking back at his would-be girlfriend, which distracts him enough to cause his untimely death.
Maybe he's riding a bike over a ramp, or grabbing the back of a moving car while riding a skateboard.
Or, maybe he's whipping around a pair of nanchucks (or however you spell those martial arts thingies that consist of a couple sticks connected by a short chain.) He clocks himself in the nuts, falls down, and curls up into a fetal position. By the time everyone is done laughing, he dies through internal bleeding.
If you want to add a bit of pathos to the story, you can have him/her meet Susie on Earth. Susie wistfully tells him/her about how she was really interested in this one buy, but he ended up killing himself trying to impress her.
Ray
Hows this ?
Cavrider----Just another " Grunt."---While showing off her "skills" , she chokes to death on a banana .
Cavrider----Just another " Grunt."
That must of been deep
I swear I stared at what you wrote for like a minute. I couldn't figure out what you were talking about, and then it clicked.
/facepalm
Then I laughed. That is a pretty good one. But he's a guy at first, before he dies, so I'll use that somewhere else.
I did receive an email with the one I'm going to use. Thanks to everyone who submitted something!
Lili
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
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