“I don’t know what it is dad, I’m trying my best.”
“Before you finish up son, you need to give me those final 7 push-ups”
“Yes dad” Billy replied as he saved those until the end and pushed them out.
This was becoming a big concern that would have to be addressed. How was Billy going to explain the gradual loss of strength? Was he getting in way over his head? Should he call it quits on the hormones? This may not be the right time.
Billy woke up the next morning feeling energized.
He slept like a baby with a sense of calm that he had never felt before.
He got up and looked at the mirror on his door. Did he look different? Of course he didn’t but he stared nonetheless.
“Stop checking yourself out dork!” Billy’s younger brother Jonathon yelled. They both shared the bedroom which usually didn’t bother Billy that much.
What would happen when he changed though? Billy thought about it for a second but it seemed like such a distance away. Billy was the kind of kid who lived for the present. In the back of his mind he knew that things may get out of control from the hormonal effects, but he would worry about that when it came. For now, he just knew that he felt wonderful from the fact that female hormones were coursing through his body.
As usual, the boys met downstairs to do their daily exercise.
“You seem like you are in good spirits today Billy. Get a good night’s sleep?” his Dad asked.
“Yes Dad, I feel like I could conquer the world!”
“Good good good…give me an extra 5 push-ups then.”
His other siblings giggled as Billy happily gave his dad another 5.
It took a couple days for Billy to notice the first breakthrough…the usual erection that enveloped his pajama bottoms was not there.
He had grown accustomed to the “morning wood” and would constantly try to hide it until it lessened. His brothers were just the opposite as they would joke about theirs as most boys do.
There it was…or wasn’t. His penis was limp and felt like there wasn’t a great risk of it growing.
He cracked a smile.
Day after day Billy found that there was nothing going on down there in the morning or in the afternoon or anytime. Sure, he could still get it up although it took more effort than before. Even that sex drive had dropped significantly though. Where he once had masturbated once or twice daily, now it was once a week just out of habit.
Day 34 on hormones. It had been over a month now and not much had changed. Billy sort of forgot about the whole thing. He was used to his routine of taking his meds and the idea of his body changing was put in the back of his mind. It all seemed like such a distance away.
The one thing that was discernible though was how his daily exercise was becoming increasingly more difficult. His dad laid into him a lot as did his brothers who couldn’t understand why Billy was always whining about how hard everything was.
“Come on Billy, stop complaining about doing your push-ups! We know you can do 25 of them. You’ve been doing 25 for the last 4 months so suck it up and just do it!”
Billy had 15 pushups under his belt and tried his best to muster up another 10. 16…17…..ughhh…18…..
”I…..can’t!” Billy shouted as his arms gave way and he fell to the floor.
“Have you been eating alright Billy?” His dad asked, “A boy your age only gets stronger with exercise but you seem to be slipping.”
“I don’t know what it is dad, I’m trying my best.”
“Before you finish up son, you need to give me those final 7 push-ups”
“Yes dad” Billy replied as he saved those until the end and pushed them out.
This was becoming a big concern that would have to be addressed. How was Billy going to explain the gradual loss of strength? Was he getting in way over his head? Should he call it quits on the hormones? This may not be the right time.
After breakfast, Billy’s mom pulled him aside.
“Honey, Dad is worried about you struggling during exercise. Is everything ok? You are eating correctly and sleeping alright aren’t you?”
“Yeah Mom, I’m fine. Maybe I’m just going through a growing spurt and all my energy is going towards that.”
“As long as you are feeling OK, I will talk to Dad. You know how he is.”
“Yes Mom and I will try harder.”
This was indeed a big cause to worry. Billy knew his dad. He would not let up. The harder his exercises would become, the more his Dad would push and push and push.
This was not the right time.
He looked at himself in the bathroom mirror…pills in hand. If he stopped now he would go back to being riddled with testosterone. If he continued he would fall further behind and life would become hell. Talk about a no-win situation.
This hormone idea was bad thinking right now.
Billy dropped the pills back into their containers and tightened the seals.
He took a deep breath and broke into tears.
To Be Continued...
Comments
Poor Billy it seemed such a
Poor Billy it seemed such a good idea at the time!! Trouble is he did'nt think things through, Still where there's a will there's a way!!and just maybe the hormones have had more effect than Billy's noticed?...This is a good story Ashley and i'm looking forward to your next posting
Kirri
Billy
Needs help if he is to truly become Billie.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Oh, Billy ...
How can you give up so fast? What would you do if you stop hormones?
I know it may be difficult with your farther, but what you want is to change isn't it? Make your mind up, and perhaps, stop caring that much about what your farther says. You aren't as strong as before, live it fully. Don't be ashamed of it or try to hide it. And your farther will notice it at one point, and perhaps stop being so demanding (hopefully).
Another great chapter, if only it wasn't that short :)
Thanks.
Mildred
Do Billy/ie's Pills worke that fast?
RAMI
I know it is fiction, but do Billy/ie's pills really work that fast? (hat is the result of just stopping cold turkey? Would he be safer to slowly stop the usage? These are sincere questions, not just in the context of the story.
His family is aware that something is going on, I think that he will be receiving more scrutiny from the family. Sharing a room with a brother, makes hiding things more difficult.
The aunt has likely received a credit card statement by now. If she is the kind of person who reviews her statement, a query on the charge either to the company if their 800 number was included on the staement or to the Credit Card company has been made. Even if she normally does not check the statement, a purchase that was likely several hundred dollars would affect the total due, resulting in the check. If she is married and her husband is in charge of that the same result would occur.
Billy/ie is smart to quit, maybe he will have the sense to seek some type of help.
The brother's seem to enjoy the physical regeime dad has the boys go through and there does not seem to be any sign that Billy objected or rebeled to this. So please do not make dad out to be an ogre.
RAMI
RAMI
diagnostic
Rami, thats part of why therapists consider hormones/blockers to be a diagnostic tool. First thing that happens is sex drive drops off and Mr Happy starts moping in the morning. Those that are enamored with girliness but still are attached to their male parts and orgasms will hopefully freak long before the pills do any permanent damage. Some are very good actors and can fool the gatekeepers (and themselves) and make it through surgery. I have known several and the end results are not pretty.
Mostly Right
RAMI,
generally you are right about hormones not working that quickly - most people i know who have taken oestrogens have seen no difference for three to six months, but rarely it turns out that they actually have a physiology that is quite largely female, as well as being psychologically girls or women, either due to what is called Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome ( partial or total), or to some anatomical or genetic mixup, they turn out later to be defined as Intersexed rather than Transgendered - the two are totally different but hard to distinguish unless lots of tests are done and the doctors really know what they are looking for ( its a very rare thing that they do!).
Many intersex or AIS people will respond even within a month, with slight breast development for example.
Briar
Briar
I Believe that Billy
BigCloset TopShelf
TGLibrary.com
How the family handles this situation? We do not know just yet. And who are Billy's friends? The story has a lot more to go with introductions before we can begin to guess just where its going. I do know Ashely isn't going to make this story easy for us either. I know her.
Feminine Manerisims
My step father was beating me almost every day for being feminine. "He said he would beat the woman out of me.
Gwendolyn
Poor family
One thing hit me right off -- the fact his brothers call him names, shows Dad's not a fit parent. The fact that he thinks being macho is the epitome of manhood will ultimately fail his sons, because they're all emotionally bankrupt, except for Billy.
I'm expecting macho Daddy and his clones will begin to harass and physically abuse Billy, and hopefully social services will come down hard on macho military "man".
List of names
Well let's see, there was Sissy, Sunny Jim, Freckle face, Gwendolyn, Squirt, and Piss Pants and those are just a few. The bridge troll was extremely abusive and so were my brothers. This is real life people. This shit really does happen.
Gwendolyn
I don't think Billy will
I don't think Billy will give up that easily. If he's as desperate as it seemed, he'll be back on them in short order. The brothers and father are a real problem, though. Hopefully he'll figure something out.
Keep up the good work, but make it longer! ;)
Saless
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America
Billie vs. The Military Despot
Billie's father is an asshole, probably a lot worse, and so are his brothers. I think there are many sadists who find shelter in the military. I retired after 21 1/2 years and in my time saw many of the type described here, but I also met met fair, compassionate, and well adjusted members. My TI in basic was one of them. I taught in Officer Training School for five years and I took the approach far different than some. Being a dictatorial SOB wasn't necessary, and I certainly didn't get off on it. A reasonable approach worked just fine and several students who previous instructors wanted to eliminate made it just fine. Many of them made full colonel. Had they been eliminated a great resource would have been lost. Billie's father's type are destructive whether or not in the military. I just hope she survives without too much trauma.
I can certainly understand the way she got her hormones. Desperation and fear sometimes lead to unwise choices. It will have to come out eventually. Hopefully, there is shelter for her. :) Portia
Portia
I have to agree with
I have to agree with Portia's comments about various "leaders" and how they treat the people under them. I too, saw this same type of person as Billy's Father as I grew up in the military, spent 27 years in it and then my civilian police career. There are the "hard A**" ones and then there are the leaders who know how to get others to do what is needed without resorting to being a tyrant AND were respected by their subordinates. Billy's brothers seem very real to me as I remember my own brothers and their friends as we grew up. Very macho and very much into sports and such. I do wish Billy much luck and hopefully a wise and knowing Mother who will protect her new daughter. J-Lynn
Effects and Speed of Effects of Hormones Showing
Unless a very high dosage is used, I would not expect any significant changes after only one month. The first noticeable phenomenon is that the male subject will suffer something akin to Morning Sickness. After about 2 months, unless a "mini-pill" was used, the penis would sart to be less able to erect itself, especially in the morning first thing. After three months it takes longer to climax when masterbating. The 'Morning Sickness' eases off at this stage.
It usually takes six months before the breasts begin to grow, starting with the nipples swelling and then the areaola becoming slightly larger and a small mass behind it forming. Teenage acne clears up somewhat, and by 9 months there should be a significant redistribution of subcutaneous fat to the female pattern.
Individual responses to oestrogens do vary, but the above is what commonly happens.
Briar
Briar
Re: Effects and Speed of Effects of Hormones Showing
The story specifically told us that Billy had ordered several months worth of the highest possible doses using his aunt's card.
So yes, slight physical changes might be taking place already, although they likely would not be significant after a month. The biggest change would be, as the story says, the loss of physical strength, as the hormones are slowly eradicating overall muscle tone.
It is possible that breast growth might be starting, but I would think it would be at the budding stage at most, even with such high doses. Visible breast and hip growth might take another month or three, but it will happen, and at that point, I can see lots of trouble for Billy.
With such high doses of the meds, time needed to climax would be longer even after such a short time on the meds.
The morning sickness thing doesn't always happen, it's similar to some pregnant women never experiencing it during their pregnancy. I've been on female hormones for most of the time since late '92 and I have never experienced that particular effect of the hormones.