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Back in December I was admitted by ambulance to the local first aid station (hospital) with "Ventricular Arithmia / Tachecardia" which is a fancy way of saying I was having an electrical storm in part of my heart... and this was causing blood to slow its circulation and because it wasn't getting enough oxygen... it was beating faster and faster.
Now I should mention that I weighed 200kg, I'm pre-op living my RLT for 13 years and depressed up the wazooo. This often manifests itself in poor hygiene. I had gone 5 days without a bath or shave and stunk to high heaven. My nightie which I made with my own hands was also 5 or 6 days without taking it off... it too smelled similar to myself.
So I arrive at the hospital with 5 days beard growth (I can't afford electrolysis) and greasy hair, reeking to high heavens... and the Dr calls me Ma'am and I resign myself to the embarassment of being dirty and having a beard. The nurse walks in she too treats me like there is no doubt that I'm a woman.
I'm eventually moved to a curtained off cubicle once they determined that my 'heart attack' is likely not serious and they put me on 3 IVs and put me into a hospital gown and left me to allow the IVs to deliver their payload. Course eventually with 3 IVs in me... I had to pee!!!
A man responded to my pleas and brought me a bedpan... I told him no I'm transsexual you'll need the other pee-in container... oh no he says... women use BEDPANS with emphasis and tries to offer me the bedpan again. I was sooo confused! I've come to be amused but at the time... I was like?? "what does he see I don't".
It was another week before I was allowed the simple pleasure of a bath and a shave. I was put into the women's ward without question and nobody ever said anything that let me feel discriminated against in any way... In fact I was sure they were bending over backwards... but that fellow with the bedpan has turned around my life somewhat.
I'm back to being happy to bathe and the depression has lightened some. I have lost 40kg since then also.
Just a quiet comment for those who are feeling like life isn't worth living...
but isn't quite bad enough to kill yourself...
I post my story to bouy you up.
Nobody.
Comments
Pardon . . .
But being "boyed" up is part of the problem most here have. :-)
That's a pun, son, that's a pun! ;-)
They know they can survive
Congratulations on overcoming the depression
Life is often what you make it, and I'm glad you have found the glass to be half full. Good luck with the rest of your life, and remember you can help make things better as well as worse - you can see obstacles as challenges or allow them to beat you. That you can lose 40Kg is a sign that that you can overcome pretty big challenges. Well done.
Angharad
Angharad
Agreed!
Sometimes, it's the damn'est little things that short-circuit the depression cycle. It can be hard to spot them in the middle of things, but keep your eyes open, and keep friends nearby!
Congratulations on the 90 lbs. *is very impressed!* :-)
-Liz
Successor to the LToC
Formerly known as "momonoimoto"
Thanks
Thank you for sharing. It gets my hopes up to know that some people are incredibly respectful and understanding despite appearances.
-Christelle
"Fun-loving geek-chick looking for someone who doesn't give a damn about her past"
-Christelle
"Fun-loving geek-chick who's addicted to sunlight!"