We all have dreams, at least I hope you do. Our dreams, not aspirations, probably reflect many of our desires, fears, hopes and events in the past and expected. I see it expressed in many of the stories concerning transformation that the persons dreams are permeated with the individual being in the physical form they have desired. They dream about finding their ideal partner, and other fantasy filled scenarios relating to their transgendered state.

My dreams seldom go that way. I am me, an unseen individual, and the dreams are as insane as dreams seem to be. About 95% of my dreams take place outdoors. I can run forever, walk great distances in a short time, and of course I can fly. Most of the dreams are asexual. Some times I do find an elusive companion (always female); however, the dream always ends before anything is resolved. The relationships are always very warm and loving.

Recently, I dreamed about being properly attired as a female. Someone helped me and when I was through, I felt so damned good about myself. I didn't look great, but I would pass. It was a happy dream. Then two nights ago I had another happy dream. For some reason, I was visiting a hospital (given my experiences last fall this should have struck terror in me). I was dressed for surgery and a doctor (female) approached and asked if I wanted to have my SRS now. Of course I said yes, and practically raced the doctor to the OR. Everything was ready for me, but as I got on the operating table, I woke up. Reality is a bitch.

Transitioning is not in the future; however, I thought it was interesting that I dreamed, not of being a genetic woman, but instead dreamed of going through the transition process and looking eagerly forward to do it. Oh, to be 40 years younger.

Happy dreams.

Portia