That's One
The young farmer offered his hand to his new bride and helped her up onto the seat of the buggy for the ride back to his farm, her new home. The trip was not unfamiliar to her since she had grown up next door to him on her parent's farm. They were boyhood friends, and now through a twist of fate, they were husband and wife.
No one else in town knew that this girl was the boy who had left home several years before and apparently disappeared. But her husband, he had always loved him, really her, he knew.
The horse's hooves clopped-clopped on the packed dirt road. As they got further out of town the road was bordered by high grass on each side. The approach of the buggy flushed a pheasant from the verge which startled the horse who whinnied and bucked, threatening to upset the wagon. The farmer settled the equine then said: "That's one."
Another mile out of town they came to the creek crossing, dry much of the year, but now a foot-deep ford. The horse stopped and even after much prodding by the farmer wouldn't proceed. The farmer climbed down from his seat, grabbed the horse's bridle and led it across, soaking his trousers in the process. After remounting the seat he firmly said: "That's two."
Two more miles and they were almost to the turnoff that led to his farm. The horse pulled up and almost fell having stepped in a gopher hole. It favored it's left front leg and refused to take another step, even with much urging by the farmer.
The farmer reached behind the buggy seat and pulled out his shotgun, loaded with double-aught buckshot. He dismounted, walked around in front of the horse, and said: "That's three." He put the barrel to its head and fired. The horse dropped where it stood.
The new bride was shocked beyond belief. She yelled "How could you kill that poor beast, you brute! I don't know who you are anymore! I hate you! Take me back to town!"
The farmer said, "That's one."
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos!
Click the Thumbs Up! button below to leave the author a kudos:
And please, remember to comment, too! Thanks.
Comments
Another variation on an oldie
Another variation on an oldie.
Kris
{I leave a trail of Kudos as I browse the site. Be careful where you step!}
That's one
Yup I just read this as an anniversary story and I was happy to share it with everyone I could and usually got a smile and a comment that it sounded familiar. But they always smiled.
Time is the longest distance to your destination.
It favored
It favored it's left front leg and refused to take another step, even with much urging by the farmer.
The bride seeing his anger at something the horse had no control of was quicker than he was and got the shotgun loaded.
Pointing it at her new husband she smiled as she said.
"That's Three."
"That's one for you, now give me my shot..." The bride gave him both barrels. A couple of hours later the bride cried as she led the horse to the farm after burying her husband. He should have remembered she loved horses more than anything.
Sorry had to change it up.
Sara.
Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Contemplation, yet duty
Death, yet the Force.
Light with dark, I remain Balanced.
Good one!
Good one!
Kris
{I leave a trail of Kudos as I browse the site. Be careful where you step!}
Heard this before, but...
I heard this one years ago, but never read it. Even reading it it's still humorous.
It's that farmer on two?
Others have feelings too.
I read the title & thought....
I read this story's title when it popped up on random solos and thought
"Surely this can't be the old joke about the psycho hubby + the horse..."
Surely it was! But with any joke the artistry is in the telling,
and the pacing + details made it a pleasure to revisit.
But I really, REALLY loved Sarah Hawke's version.
I'm a total sucker for "counterforce" tales
(like Randalynn's forced fem stories)
in which bullies + abusers get theirs
~hugs, Veronica
What borders on pure insanity?
Canada and Mexico.
.