Today, as I sat in my car after grocery shopping. It occurred to me that once again, I had an offer of assistance from a man as I was hoisting 40# box of kitty litter into my cart. I already had it lifted to the top of the basket so that it rested there as I braced to put inside. I said, "I've got the hard part done, but thank you anyway."

Then a little later I was at the deli counter waiting my turn so I could buy some ambrosia. The lady before me had a complex sliced meat order with at least three different meats being sliced to order. It was taking some time. As I waited, she came over and thanked me for being patient. We had a short conversation about how few workers there were in that department.

Then as I was checking out, the man in front of me say as I was loading my groceries on the belt, "Your cape is lovely." (I was wearing a black and red reversible cape with a long fringe.)

Reflecting first on that and the previous six or seven months when that sort of thing happened, seemingly, more and more often. When I used to shop in drab, none of these things happened. It occurred to me that that I was being treated as a woman. Men offer to help with tasks that require strength or were difficult to do; women striking up conversations none of whom I know or could remember seeing before. That's the kind of thing that women expect and experience on a regular basis. However to me it's a new experience. Oh, women talking to me has happened occasionally in the past few years, but it seem to be nearly weekly now and never until last June has a man offered to help me or in any other way shown me the deference he would show a woman.

Does that mean I've arrived? The world looks at my gender expression and sees me on the outside the way I've seen myself on the inside all these decades. Food for thought.