I've never understood the concept of someone needing an outside force to be what they should be. I married into a matriarchal family. My wife's grandmother was a force to be reckoned with. From the first time I met my wife's family I could see that she was in charge and let everyone know what their role in the family was and made sure the filled it.

That included my father-in-law her son. She lived across the street and just helped herself into the house whenever she felt like it. The two houses might just as well have been one building. My mother-in-law sided with grandma and was her second in command. My wife, though the oldest child was last in the pecking order. Her sister, younger by a year was a matriarch in training and bullied my wife, who had, at the time, a very submissive personality thanks to her whole family except her dad telling her what to do.

I didn't meet them until my wife and I were engaged. When we set the date for the wedding, we announced it nearly a year in advance, my sister-in-law just couldn't stand the idea of her sister getting married first. So she convinced her current boyfriend that they too should get married. So we ended up having a double wedding.

The boyfriend was a little on the submissive side and my sister-in-law tended to take advantage of that. When their marriage was having some problems, they held a family meeting sans the couple in question, to see what they could do about it. Basically it was grandma and mom directing the rest of us how to get them to behave. (Read bully the husband into shaping up.) When I (ever the rebel) voice my objection saying that it was wrong to enforce their will on him, my mother-in-law said, "Don't you think he needs it?" I emphatically stated that, "No man needs to be walked on like that."

I told my wife that the meeting was a farce and that we were leaving. You should have seen the look on grandma's face when we walked out. No one had ever walked out on her before.

I don't know why people seem to think that other people need to be managed. Just who do they think they are to impose their standards on other people?

BTW that wasn't the last time I defied grandma.