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To those of you who have been displeased with the turn of events in If It Was Your Husband; I apologize and ask that you bear with me as a writer. I’m trying to grow my craft. IIWYH is a departure from my usual fair in that it is edgy, not the usual fluff that I tend to write. I can see that I’m still unskilled in putting that kind of story together. This is my first attempt at a story so long that it demands to be posted as a serial.
I’ve had two or three readers comment along the same lines in that Carrie is not a loving wife and that Alex has become submissive. The commenters make a good case for their view. What it seems to me they are focusing on are Carries actions. What I intended for the focus to be was Alex’s reaction and internal struggle as he comes to the realization that it’s not just and experiment, but hidden deep within him is a cross-dresser and the experiment has surfaced it. Due to something drilled into him at about 8 or 9 years of age he had buried it so deep he didn’t even know it was there. However, I failed to put the emphasis there.
IIFWYH was a difficult story to write. As a writer, I struggle to find a new approach to TG fiction so that it doesn’t seem to be rehashing the same old trope and the same old solution. The premise of IIFWYH seemed to fit the bill. What I didn’t realize was the enormity of the tale to bring it to fruition. My normal storyline runs somewhere between 17 and 20K words. This one comes in at over 40K
To those who have made negative comments about the story, I want you to know that I take your criticism seriously. It disturbs me that my story disturbs you. My goal in writing and sharing my work is to bring others enjoyment. The last thing I want is to cause anyone to be uncomfortable with what I write.
That said, IIFWYH is complete. I won’t post any story, or part of that story, that hasn’t been completed. In my mind, worse than writing a bad story, is leaving a good story unfinished or any story unfinished.
While I take your thoughts seriously, at this time I don’t have the energy to rewrite any portion of the story. With the last post it’s less than half way through. To make changes would wreak havoc with the flow of the rest of the story.
If you are truly distressed by the story at this point and quit reading, I’ll understand. I’ve done that myself. A good example is “Tuck.” When Tuck began having romantic liaisons with the male of the species, I quit reading. Not my cup of tea.
If you are so invested with the story that you can’t bear to quit reading please know that things in the next section lighten up considerably. Alex voices his displeasure at the way Carrie handled things with Ann when she suggests the he let his hair grow and that he go to her hairdresser to have her keep it in shape while he does. He accuses her of doing the same with the hairdresser that she did with Ann.
“What? Are you suggesting we tell someone else about our experiment? …Or did you already talk to your hairdresser?”
They discuss just what Carrie will tell the hairdresser. Carrie agrees to tell her that Alex wants to recapture his lost youth and that Carrie insists that the long hair be kept neat and tidy and ask her to oversee him growing it out. Carrie keeps her word and the hairdresser knows nothing about the experiment or Mike and Lisa.
Alex begins to get a handle on his feeling regarding cross-dressing. And while Carrie is still Carrie and fails to think things through she does tone down her pushing him forward. That is partly due to Alex consistently dressing androgynously without prompting. But Carrie doesn’t know that Alex is experimenting beyond her plan and hiding it just as most cross-dressers hide their activities.
At long last, Mike does come into the picture and Alex has a talk with him about the situation and lets him in on what’s going on.
Comments
As one of those who has repeatedly expressed……
How your story has bothered me, I would like to let you know that it is NOT because of your writing. On the contrary, the fact that it bothers me is a testament to your skills - you have written something that is compelling, but unfortunately the activities of one of your main characters (Carrie) has caused me, and apparently others, some discomfort.
I greatly appreciate your taking the time to comment on this, and I do in fact appreciate not only your skill, but also your desire to write something more original and not just a variation on a much covered theme.
Yes, I have been bothered by the aspect of forced fem which the story has entailed through Carrie’s actions and attitude toward Alex. However, because of how well written the story is, and based on your on-going dialogue with me regarding the story, I have persevered through my own discomfort. It has caused me lost sleep (my fault due to reading it just before going to bed), and more than a few tears - but I trust you enough to see it through to fruition.
Based on your descriptions, this will not be the first story which has upset me at first, only to leave me feeling fulfilled at the end. Hopefully I still feel that way when I have read the whole tale!
I will look forward to seeing how you resolve the “experiment”.
D. Eden
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
Thanks for your understanding
This story does have a hard edge that I never saw or appreciated until you pointed it out. And as the other commenter mentioned it really was supposed to be about helping Mike. However to reach that point there was a whole story about how Alex, a totally vanilla guy became a cross-dresser to help him. Then comes the story of just how he did help him. I suppose that's why it took more then twice my usual word count to finish the tale. There were really two stories to tell and the second (helping Mike) wouldn't make sense without the first.
The fact that the story really was supposed to be about helping Mike, contributed to my rushing the plot line and making Carrie pushy and careless. I needed to get to the helping Mike part. If I had slowed down the process to make it more genteel, it would likely have taken another 20K to write it.
That and I doubt that it would have been in keeping with the fact that Mike had the threat of divorce hanging over his head. Not only would the story have been longer, the time frame would have necessarily been expanded to account for a more relaxed transition leaving Mike at risk of losing everything before Carrie and Alex could help.
The last half of the story deals with things done to help Mike. First by knowing that Alex knows and is OK with it, then by knowing that Alex is experiencing what he is and can truly be a kindred spirit and finally by confronting Lisa with the realism that cross-dressing doesn't have to be a big deal and...
.
.
.
that there can be consequences in repressing trans gender feelings.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin eine Mann
I know those consequences well……
And were it not for the love of my family, and a certain text from one of my sons, I would long ago have taken the coward’s way out. Sometimes the only way to make the pain stop is at the business end of a gun, or through a pile of pills, or some other drastic measure.
My middle son saved my life with a text that he sent me one night, and I read it every few days to remind me that I am not alone.
I have been very lucky in my life, and eventually faced who and what I really am. I have lived my life full time as a woman for the last eight years, and thanks to love of a very good woman, my three wonderful sons, and a group of caring friends, I am still alive and kicking.
It wasn’t easy, and it hasn’t been without problems or confrontations. Hence why I feel the way I do about Carrie’s actions in the story.
D. Eden
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
How astute
You know right were the rubber meets the road when they do confront Lisa.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin eine Mann