*Chapter 30*
Iron Madchen

"What was all that about?” Jules enquired.
"I dunno.”
"Oh?”
"He probably wants me to sing, which I am so not doing!”
"Sing?” my sister pressed.
"Gab did a storming rendition of Run to the hills last time,” blabbermouth Strechau told them.
"Cool!” Boris enthused.
"So what's with the Erdbeeren stuff,” Boris queried.
The Dark One grabbed one of my bunches and waggled it at him, "Dur!”

Any further conversation was halted as the PA system screeched into action and Stefan's voice rent the air, ‘Hello Bonn, we are BlauHase!’

And so the evening’s entertainment got going, I even sort of recognised some of the self penned stuff, happily joining in with the many others tunelessly singing along. It’s certainly not disco music, not stuff you exactly dance to, think more bouncing up and down loosely in time to the band. I grinned across at Max who seemed to be having a po-going competition with my sort of brother in law, yeah this is good fun.

‘Okay folks, I need a bier, back in fifteen!’

The enthusiastic crowd clearly had similar thoughts, I nearly got crushed in the rush! Jules dragged me to the side as the lads headed for the bar.

"Good gig, eh?” Jules enthused dabbing at her fevered brow.
"Yeah,” I agreed fanning myself.

Indeed what had started out as a comfortably warm room was now like a sauna despite a couple of industrial grade fans trying to circulate the heavy air. It seemed like an age but the guys returned with liquid fuel which I gratefully necked.

"Hey steady, sis,” Jules suggested.
"Don’t worry,” Bo mentioned, "We got extra.”
"Bo, she’s only a kid, a tiny one at that, she doesn’t do alcohol well.”
"I've been practising,” I protested.
"I'm supposed to be keeping you out of trouble,” she pointed out.
"Ah, there you are,” Stefan opined joining us for a second time, "You ready for your fifteen minutes, Erdbeere?”
"Hmm?”
"Go on, girl,” Bo encouraged.
"This I have to see,” my sister added.
"Pretty please,” the BlauHase singer appealed.
"Whatever,” I agreed, secretly enjoying the attention.

"Okay folks, I hope you’re ready to rock?”

The crowd cheered back in agreement.

With that the band started ten minutes of assorted Lizzy and metal covers pretty similar to last time, I was bouncing with the best of them but this time from the side of the tiny stage. The music trailed off and Stefan grabbed the microphone.

"You all happy?” he didn’t wait for a reply before going on, "We’ve got a treat for you tonight, a special guest I'm sure you’ll love as much as I do ever since I first heard her, please welcome Gabrielle Erdbeeren!”

It wasn’t my idea, honest. I strutted out onto the stage having removed my jacket, well might as well distract them all from my singing. Stefan passed me the mic and with more confidence than I felt I stood at the front of the stage, the band started the crowd pleaser’s first bars, I sing it to myself out training quite a lot. Everyone recognised the first bars and a lot joined in the first spoken stanza.

Hast du etwas Zeit für mich?
Dann singe ich ein Lied für dich
Von 99 Luftballons auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont
Denkst di vielleicht grad an mich?
Dann singe ich ein Lied für dich
Von 99 Luftballons und, dass sowas von sowas kommt.

The music’s pace picked up and I started my solo warbling,

Von 99 Luftballons auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont
Hielt man für Ufos aus dem All
Darum schickte ein General ‘ne Fliegerstaffel hinterher
Alarm zu Geben, wenn’s so wär
Dabei war’n dort am Horizont
Nur 99 Luftballons

Well I'm sure you all know the lyrics so I won’t repeat the rest here, buoyed by the reception I got I gave Stefan the signal we’d agreed that I was okay to go on and they segued into the much more restrained tones of Amerika.

Meine Koffer sind Gepackt
Paar Minuten, bis ich geh
Es tut mir jetz schon weh
Ich steck das Bild von euch ein
Es soll bei mir sein
Bis wir uns wieder sehn
Ihr guckt mich so traurig an
Und eure Augen fragen wann
Bist du wieder da

I was getting well into it now and by the lack of jeering as I went on suggested the audience were okay with it too. Someone was working the stage lighting and dimmed it right down as I finished the ballad. I got my breath in the moments before the lights came up and Stefan sang the first words of my last song.

Lena?
Nee, heute nicht Lena, sondern Gaby!

Hey that's not right, he’s changed the words!

Augenringe erzählen die Nacht
Fremdes Hotel, bist fröstelnd aufgewacht
Mit nem Gewisse, das dich ständig beißt
Oh, du fehlst mir so

… Nena, wie ‘n klarer warmer Wind
Wenn die Tage stürmisch sind
Lass ich mich zu dir trieben
Seelen aneinander reiben!

There was some cheering and whooping as I got my breath back and Stefan rejoined me at the mic stand.

"How about that, folks, our very own rock Goddess, Gabrielle Erdbeeren, we know she can sing the girly stuff, how about some proper metal, Gaby?”
"Go for it,” I agreed stretching up to the mic.

The strains of ‘Run to the hills’ sounded around me and I was soon lost in a duet with Stefan

Soldier blue in the barren wastes
Hunting and killing their game
Raping the women and wasting the men

Run to the hills, run for your lives
Run to the hills, run for your liiiivesssssssss

I was really enjoying myself now and so were the audience, I was really a bit disappointed when the set finished.

"Thank you everyone and special thanks to our guest singer tonight, Gabrielle Erdbeeren!”
I gave the audience a theatrical wave and soaked up the applause.

"More!”
"Absheid!”

"Another,” Stefan whispered.
"You guys know Bo Rhap?” I suggested.
"Who doesn’t, give us a minute.”

A moment later the drummer who has more than a passing resemblance to Animal from the Muppets started tapping the base line and I took the mic off the stand, the crowd quieting down seeing something more was afoot.

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality
Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see
I'm just a poor girl, I need no sympathy
Because I'm easy come, easy go, little high, little low
any way the wind blows doesn’t really matter to me, to meeee

The band were enjoying themselves, I was enjoying myself and I guess the audience were happy enough as a few joined in here and there. But finally even the encore was over and my fifteen minutes had run to best part of forty five.

"Mein Gott,” my sister allowed meeting me from the stage, "You girl, really are something else.”

Then it dawned on me, something that’s been niggling all evening, she’s speaking very good German.

"Your German’s improved.”
"I should hope so in two years.”
"But you always use English at home.”
"So?”
"We hardly ever do these days, even Mands.”
"Why not?”
"Dunno, never thought about it, I mean we use German everywhere else.”
"Here,” Bo thrust a bottle in my hand.
"Hmm, my girlfriend the rock star,” Max added as he somehow managed to hook his tongue in my nose ring.
"Geroff, that tickles!”
"Gaby!” Stefan called out, "You forgot this.”

‘This’ was my jacket. He came over and returned it to my custody.

"Cheers.”
"Sure I can’t interest you in some regular gigs?”
"It was kinda fun tonight, Stefan but I’ve got other career plans.”
"My sister is a cycling World Champion,” Jules proudly supplied.
Stefan chuckled, "No wonder you’ve got a good set of pipes, I mean it though, if you want to hook up for some gigs give me a bell.”
"I will.”

We stepped out into the cool night air, I was still buzzing from the gig, the others more from alcohol.

"Where are you off to?” Jules asked.
"The flat, it’s this way right?”
"It’s far too early for going home.”
"It is?” my watch reckons it’s like eleven thirty.
"Of course,” Boris chimed in, "We can get Frites at Ulli’s Kellar.”
"Count me in,” Max grinned.

Ulli’s Kellar? Sounds a bit of a dive.

"Oh come on, Gabrielle Erdbeeren, let’s party,” my sister insisted.
"Okay, I could fancy some chips.”
"You know what? I played in that band for over a year and never had a stage name, you’ve already got one, that must be some sort of omen.”

“Urr,” I managed cracking an eye open.

It took me a moment for my head to supply any useful information from my senses, although to be fair the signals were a bit mixed. Something nearby is snoring, something else is laid on my kidneys and my tongue feels like a dried out flannel. A few random bytes of information swam into my consciousness, Bonn, bier and singing?

The snoring ceased as something, an arm maybe landed across my shoulders, "Mornin’, Gab.”
"Max?”
"Hmm?”
"Why are you in this bed?”
"Trying to sleep.”

The weight on my kidneys moved and a moment later I was staring into a feline face.

"Meow.”
"Hello, Felix,” I managed.
The cat leapt off the bed and out of sight.

I quickly ascertained that I was wearing nothing beyond lacy knickers and a BH, I glanced at my apparently naked bedmate, we didn’t did we?

"Morning, sis, good night, eh?” Jules greeted me far too chipper given how I feel.
"Er yeah.”
"You want breakfast? I’m doing us a fry up.”
"Max is in my bed.”
"Lucky you.”
"I erm think we might have done it.”
"My little sis has become a woman, toast or fried bread?”
"But we weren’t meant to.”
"Mum said you’re on the pill right?”
"Er not this month, Jules I can’t get pregnant from once can I?” I started to panic.
"Bugger, good ole mother nature, yep once is enough, sis.”
"But I can’t be pregnant, I can’t even remember doing the deed,” I started to sniffle.
"Come here, you daft bint,” she pulled me into a hug.
"Everything okay?” Boris queried as he joined us in the kitchenette.
"Girl stuff,” Jules advised him, "Can you finish breakfast, liebchen?”
"No sweat.”

"You been bleeding?” Jules asked as I shivered under the shower.
"No, is that good?”
"Well there’s usually blood the first time, you know when your Hymen’s broken.”
"I never had one remember?”
"Well that’s no help then, you sore down there?”
"Not especially.”
"Let’s not panic, I'm supposed to be the daft one.”
"Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
"Right, we’ll go get a testing kit after breakfast.”
"Can they tell this soon?”
"Dunno,” Jules admitted.
"Okay then, now can I panic?”

Maddy Bell © 27.05.17