It's 5:24 on a Monday morning and I'm just sitting here at my desk waiting for day shift to relieve me. This hospital is fucking dreadful and the desk beside me is covered in vomit that EVS still hasn't cleaned up. So anyway, I've made some progress on the Mockreet, two more chapters have been written in between dealing with patients, and I have therapy on Friday. Now that I'm on a once a week schedule I've started reading more, finally getting back into my Brandon Sanderson novels and hopefully in between I'll come up with more creative chapters for the Mockreet. I already have the entire outline written, I know how it ends, and I wanted to let you all know, while I'm in my horrific sleep deprived state, that while it was originally planned as three books, I've combined all of them into this one single thing. It's long, it's tedious, and it's very rapidly sucking away my sanity like vodka through a bendy straw.

Ultimately, writing takes a lot out of me and if I don't keep myself in check I start doing very odd things. I'll lash out at people, become irritable, and just be generally pissed off. The good news is that the more pissed off I am, the better the story is going to be. We went through this with Allison's Pledge, and then Woodcrest after it (which never got finished because I crossed the line between being pissed off and full mental breakdown which landed me in psych for a week). So you're probably wondering(or not), what the big problem is this time because I only write when I'm experiencing trauma. I think it can be narrowed down to my current diet as I'm trying to accelerate my weight loss. Two months ago I was 318 lbs, and right now I'm sitting at 269 and hoping to be under 200 by the end of the year. As you can imagine this is taking a severe toll on my body and the only thing keeping me upright is a desire to finish this story.

Truth be told I'm sick and tired of being fat and hating myself every single time I look in a mirror or see a picture. This weight loss goal is one that I've wanted to achieve for a very long time and the fact that I've made it to 269 is nothing short of a miracle. So let's let Lyra carry me through this last stretch and we'll see if I get those grippy socks.