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I would like to say that I have been transgendered all my life, but when I was growing up, it was something that wasnt even talked about. There was no internet; web; or anything that we know now. There was only the print, and you were looked down on if anyone but your MOTHER caught you with a Penthouse Forum. I think that the magazines were the first that any of us had in finding out that there were others like us.
These magazines would wisk all of us into a world of fantasy that we could read and sadly...enjoy! Each of us didnt connect with the male in the stories, we conected with the FEMALE! We would read about him putting his strong hands around... OUR WAIST!! We could feel his embrace. Through these stories we became the people that we are now, and I, for one, am proud to say that I am transgendered.
I am a pre-op M2F, but I am too old for SRS, and I get tired of the way that trans-people are treated. First like most stories, I knew from a very early age that something was wrong with me, but in the early '50s nothing was said. Nothing could be said because this country was not ready to hear it. Now that I am too old for any permanent help, We have entered a new phase.
As a crossgendered person, I resent being lumped in a catagory which still has us associated with Crossdressers, Bisexuall and Homosexuall. When I was with members of the opposite sex, I felt wrong, with members of the same sex I felt wrong. Then I started to think for myself and Dammed what the rest said, I came out as a transgendered person. I was not Gay. I was not Bisexual, AND I definately wasnt a transvestite.
Since I have been out, I have been fired from jobs, treated like the scum of the earth, and beat. I AM DECLARING WAR ON MODERN SOCIETY. If anyone knows of a good reason why I shouldnt, pleast contact me at my WEeb-site which is in development now or just leave a comment and I will read and respect your advice, because over the last 30 years I can handle anyones comments.
Thank you and I love you all.
P.S. Please forgive typing mistakes, They are due to poor eyesight and a new developing cataract, as well as an old keyboard.
Comments
Miss C
I read somewhat similar comments from some nitwit in the U.K. awhile back, only she was a lesbian wanting to know why the "T" was in GLBT. I was all prepared to write some scathing response when I stopped to think about it, and I realized it wasn't a bad point. I've always been of the opinion that we had all better hang together, the bigger the numbers the better. Then I got to thinking how quickly the "GLB" part cast the "T" part adrift this year to get an anti discrimination bill through Congress.
For me, it was a natural fit. I first remember expressing my certantity that I was a girl when I was about 6, and trying on my best friend's good dress after kindergarten class while waiting at her house for my mother to get off work. It just seemed natural to me that I should get to wear dresses too.
The other thing I've known from not too much later than that is that unlike you I prefer girls to boys. So I figured I qualified for GLB status as well as T.
And when we (the CD/TG/TS community) were adrift and looking for a home over on AOL, it was the GLB community that (grudgingly) took us in.
But I also recognize, that to all the "normal" people out there, we are part of some amorphous blob that they don't know much about and don't care to learn. And that in their minds, we are lumped in together with the perverts, child molesters, and the rest of the fringe. And I don't want to be there anymore than the GLB people do. So it seems, like it or not, we do share some common cause.
I know this is a lot of talk, but not much in the way of an answer. The best I can say is, I'm still feeling my way towards one, but I don't know what it is. Our betrayal by the GLB side still hurts, and I don't know just now where we go from here. That's all the answer I have, maybe somebody better than me will devise a solution that will allow us to move forward.
I'm a little younger than you, and transitioned completely years ago. My partner is dead, killed by a teen hot-rodder, and I really haven't been identifying to my coworkers and associates either my L or my T status. I got tired of that battle not long after Robyn was killed. I cut a bit of a swath through the bar scene, picking up a succession of younger women who used me and discarded me when convenient. Nowadays, I kinda stick to myself. I've been burned and I'm just not interested in being burned anymore.
So, no, in the end I don't have any answer for you. It may be up to the next generation to figure out a way everybody can coexist peacefully. Sometimes I'm so tired.
KJT
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
why the "T" was in GLBT...
I tend to agree, because I don''t think there are any *qualitative* differences between gay, lesbian, and bisexual individuals and transsexuals. Mind you, I used to think there were, but this fantasy disappeared back in the Eighties, when it seemed like half the butch lesbians all decided to come out as FtM transsexuals over a single long holiday weekend. (I exaggerate slightly, of course)
I go back to Freud, that sexist twit, and his theory of polymorphous perversity. I think the old guy had the merest glimpse at the grain of truth behind this quackery and missed it. The key is that people are flexible, that almost any behaviour can arise in response to multi-dimensional extravagances in the spectrum of natural variation.
There are only so many possible responses to changes in "gender-appropriate" identification:
One can change external behaviour, one can change internal identity, or both.
The human brain is quite adequate to supply "reasons" for any "feeling," and in fact is quite brilliant in invention. That's what brains do.
When I was somewhat younger, I had an accident which left my upper body paralyzed for a time, at least until I had spinal surgery to fix my little problem. In the meantime, my brain had to figure out what was happening to my body, which was comprised of just two things, really, horrific pain, and a profound inability to move my arms.
With no help from me, my brain figured out how to reconcile its "inappropriate" internal sensations with "reality." My arms were, in its fond belief, floating off "somewhere" away from my body, possibly on an astral plane; they were on fire; and the arms I could see weren't actually mine, but someone else's, and somehow *glued* to my real body.
This is so common in paralysis and amputation that it even has a name: Phantom Limb Syndrome.
It so *innate* and compelling that I was (at the time) hostile and angry toward the "fake" arms attached to my body, and almost lost in confabulations created by my brain to "explain" its predicament. Its solution was, in fact, "monstrous," a logically impossible but internally consistent narrative that led me to believe that the arms I'd been born with were "duplicates," not my actual body.
There's a series of adventures called the Whateley stories (not really my cup of tea, but the concept of the "Body Image Template" --- BIT --- struck me as particularly interesting) in which similar sensory distortions have an external reality, in which these internal phantasms become *real*, leading to changes in the actual bodies and behaviours of the characters.
There's a neurologist, Vilayanur S. Ramachandran, who's written extensively on this subject and other conjurations of the brain, and I highly commend him to your attention, but assuming that the brain has a BIT of some sort, and similar conceptions of the world around it, all things are both possible and "normal."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vilayanur_S._Ramachandran
If one's internal "wiring" predisposes one to attraction to the "same" sex, rather than the "opposite" sex, the brain is perfectly capable of coming up with any of the *many* possible scenarios commonly used to "explain" the feelings: The Devil Made Me Do It; I Must Be Crazy; Demons Have Taken Over My Body; I'm Queer (or Bisexual, or Perverted; or A Sinner; or whatever). That's what brains do. That's their job.
If, on the other hand, some of these same sensations also affect an internal "BIT" such as "gender" (whatever the hell that means), a similar series of "explanations" can be constructed whose exact dimensions vary by culture and personal history.
These days, some people have an internalised narrative which includes "transsexuality," but in former times, or other cultures, the same sensations might have connected to another narrative (I am Called by the Goddess; I have Shamanic Powers; Demons inhabit my body; and so on). The current narratives might also include: I'm a Drag Queen; I'm a Fag; I'm a Sissy; and a hundred other narratives, but these are all of them tales that the brain spins to itself, and the same brain will spin different tales depending on what's come into it before. The internal reality may be the same, but the stories are ever-changing.
Five Thousand years ago, there were people who had "strange" body image templates, but they weren't all sitting around trying to come up with a word that was "just on the tip of their tongue," Turt... tra... trund... and so on. They were embedded in their culture, just as we are, and explained their internal reality in the language and narrative of the time: I am called to be a Priestess of Attis; I am a Shapeshifter; God hates me; and so on.
Cheers,
Puddin'
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As far as I'm concerned,
being any gender is a drag.
--- Patti Smith
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Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
Sometimes I'm so tired
Karen, I do know how you feel. Being older, I have gone through almost all of the feelings that you have. I too lost someone that was veery dear to me. She was a GG, about 14 years my senior, and she knew me when we met. Everyone has an aura and a sensitive can pick up on the mixed feelings of a GLBT with no problems.
A goon example: you pass on a continuious basis. you are very sure of yourself. Then sudennly you are read by a teenage boy. all he has to say is "Hay Queer!" and you start back at square one. Yes I am tired also.
Catlin Michelle
Catlin Michelle
There is another side to the way ENDA was passed, Karen
My own congressman, Mike Hinda, and one of San Jose's congresswomen, Zoe Lofgren, are both supporters of an all inclusive ENDA. They both state that the reason they agreed to let the Transgendered be removed fomr ENDA in 2008 is quite simple.
They knew there was no chance that GWB would sign it into law in any case.
But they also felt that if it took dropping us from the bill to get it through Congress this year, it would be worth it.
They felt that if ENDA was allowed to fail in Congress in 2008, it would be next to impossible to pass it in 2009, when they were hoping to have a more tolerant administration.
It was more important to get some form of ENDA passed by Congress this year, when it could never become law,than to let it be killed.
There are always a number of new Representatives and Senator that need to be brought on board, and they were also hoping for more liberal representation in both houses, too.
It looks as if they have gotten that part of their wish. Now it is up to us to try and educate the new members of Congress in both houses before it comes up again next year.
I was in touch with my congressman, whose name was on as a cosponsor, long before the vote and our removal, and they were and stil are, strongly in favor of an all inclusive ENDA when it can not only make it past Congress, but the President's desk, too.
So don't get down on what congress did last year. Yes, there were some who appeared to have betrayed us, but they claim to have have had good reason to remove us, this year, but not next.
Holly
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
Holly
Half a loaf
Yes, I've heard that also. The old half a loaf theory. From where I sit, we got thrown out of the lifeboat so the other three could survive. A cold, pragmatic decision. Democracy in action. Betrayal.
I wonder what the excuse will be next year.
KJT
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Some Voted "No" Because the "T" Wasn't There
I believe it was eleven congressmen including Jerald Nadler (D Manhattan).
ENDA
Politics makes strange bedfellows, and entails substantial compromises, and when *some* of the players are idiots, they impose idiotic concessions on their opponents for their grudging support, usually in the form of requiring votes for *their* boondoggles in return for voting for what *they* believe (or profess to believe) are the boondoggles of the other side of the aisle.
Transsexualism is different from GLBT status in several important ways, although they may not seem important to many.
1. Transsexualism has a DSM-IV diagnosis code, which is a mixed blessing. The code allows ethical medical treatment to ameliorate the condition. It also means that transsexuals can be described as "mentally disturbed." Damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
2. Homosexuality or bisexuality is, since DSM-IV, a "normal" variation in human behaviour, and the medical establishment pretty much agrees that the variation is innate and intractable, "deserving" of protection just as "race" and religion are protected. Transsexualism, on the other hand, isn't "normal."
3. The Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 generally prohibits discrimination against persons with disabilities, but specifically exempts pyromaniacs, pedophiles, and transsexuals.
I personally disagree with this particular slicing and dicing of who's "weird" and "dangerous" and who isn't, but Strom Thurmond didn't, and successfully insisted on this exemption as the price for his acceptance of the legislation in 1990. Mr. Thurmond had a long history of bigotry and hate, the lynchpin of opposition to civil rights laws as early as 1957, and continuing through far too many years.
The process of implementing the "special non-rights," though, is less important than the presence of this "special" status in the legislation. The fact that it exists means that there is a core caucus of people (let's be bold and identify them as *men*) who hate transsexuals with a special hate, even more than they hate homosexuals, so they're extremely unlikely to "play ball" when compromises are made.
So transsexuals and other transgendered individuals were left out in the cold.
The fact that it's a "condition" gives the idiots cover.
Get transsexualism removed from the DSM-IV and that particular cover disappears (to some extent) but treatment also disappears. Catch-22.
The trick is, to have what I suspect is a normal variation in human brain structure, endocrinology, or *something* removed from the list of "mental disorders" whilst still preserving treatment options, which are available in many parts of the civilised world, even in Iran. It's a delicate problem, and one which will require a lot of "horse-trading" before it's finally accomplished.
The dickering about removing the "T" from ENDA was a part of those negotiations.
I personally can't figure out why a "moral victory" *this* year would affect its chances *next* year, and secretly doubt that it would, but a lot of fairly clever people said that it would, so what (or who) does one believe?
Damned if I know.
Puddin'
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Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
Unspeakable rage! ! ! !
I know how you feel. Lots of us are in the same boat from hell. I was born in '47 and came out at 5. In those days, they just beat the hell out of you until you started acting like they wanted you to.
It's been a debacle for lots of us. The worst of mine started 4 years ago on December 23. I wept for a long time; thought I'd never make it. This year, curiously I am just Mad! Mad as hell! and I'll never make nice to the shits!
Still, we can't go doing all this male shit and offing some of them. I won't because that will mean complete failure on my part. Ya know, some 50% of us off ourselves thanks to the tender mercies of the sanctimonious.
This is a community here and they have been extremely supportive to me. Just hang in there. For me Christmas is the day from hell; yeah and I used to be one of those Christmas light insane wacco obsessive freaks! Couldn't get enough praisin' the Lord and pass me another string of lights.
It's been almost 62 years since I was born and the attitude toward T folk has changed, though it seems maddeningly slow. Now, some people are smart enough to help the little ones.... that's a step in the right direction.
I'm a little pumped. Been listening to "Highway to Hell" while I was writing this. Yeah, Rock rocks ! ! ! !!
I find this astonishing
That the supposed 'leader of the free world' is so repressive.
As far as I am concerned, GID is a variation on the norm, which is patient led (unless some bichemical/DNA test become available -which I doubt), and treated by some sympathetic medical regimes.
If it were an illness, the cure would be enabling the individual to change from one sex to the other, in as much as possible a physical, social and legal sense. People who pass the Gender Recognition Panel's criteria, can seek legal reassigment as well as physical, which gives them full status in that role; ie I can marry as female, retire at 60 instead of 65 and so on. There are also anti discrmination laws against discrimination on the grounds of sex, gender, and sexual orientation, which specify transgenderism as protected against discrimination.
In terms of social discrimination or acceptance - some of that is the responsibility of the individual. I've lived in 'stealth' mode for most of my adult female life. I feel no reason to declare my past history, except for a need to know basis. At the same time, I try to lead a useful and fulfilling life, integrating into the general population. So those who who know or find out, see me as a useful member of society. If I get the chance to educate I do, but it's no longer the crusade I might have felt years ago. Now, my birth certificate says, girl, so as far as I'm concerned, that's what I am. End of problem, and I have legal backing to that statement.
I cannot believe this doesn't happen in the world's so called leading democracy.
Angharad
Angharad
GIRL!
That is what we all reach for and want. I, however, can't even afford a bottle of NiQuell, because 1). I can't get a job, 2). I live on disability and 3). i AM AT THE MERCY OF THE STATE WHEN IT COMES TO MY HEALTHCARE. This is what I am POed about. that a woman can have all kind of fertility treatments, given the best healthcare, (even changing sex) under the state Medicaid program and Medicare, but let a man go in with a displaced bone and they pull it back out and tell him to go back to work. I would like to be able to have Girl on my birth certificate. I did for about 6 months. After that they figured out that I was male and that is what it was.Catlin Michelle
Catlin Michelle
SRS age limitations
I too, am a child of the 1950's. I had my SRS just three years ago. I do not believe that age is an issue when performing SRS. I have come across quite a few others who have been much older than me and have had their SRS recently.
I suspect, MissCatlin, that there is more that you have not disclosed that is preventing your surgery.
My decision to finally commence transition about six years ago was the best decision I have made. My life since then, though still stressed and turbulent, is absolutely wonderful.
Robyn B
Sydney
Robyn B
Sydney
SRS
Catlin Michelle