British singer/songwriter Frank Turner never got on with his father, who was apparently quite abusive towards Frank as he grew up. Then his father took the name Miranda and transitioned. An event Frank could not forgive and they didn't talk for ten years. Eventually Frank got to know Miranda better, they reconciled, and Frank has written a song about the experience. Take a listen here : "Miranda".
Singer reconciles with Trans father after 10 years
A word from our sponsor:
Comments
Hummm?
My daughters have been driving me insane the past week. One wants to share all her ills and problems. I love her dearly but she's a grown woman. Kissing owies and changing diapers is past tense. I have my own thank you sweety. My other daughter loaded up my phone with a half dozen songs. I dumped all of them after a few seconds. I don't claim to be musically gifted but mom and I were doing better than that when I was eight. Bless mom, she taught me harmony, scales, etc. Momma was musically gifted.
I don't know where Frank sings but I'm glad I had the opportunity to disconnect after twenty seconds.
Hugs Mandy, each to their own taste
Barb
Life is a gift, treasure it.
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
I'm with you girl on Frank's
I'm with you girl on Frank's style. But somehow he has a large fan base. It's good to see a positive message being put to song by a successful artist.
Talking
It's sad how common the knee jerk reaction is that we do it for the jollies and for sex without even knowing about the person first and talking is absolutely essential.
The main issue I think is this conflation of trans with gay culture where, yes, there is a reputation for a lot of Randy liasons.
The irony of course is the removal of said source of randiness, namely the testicles tend to Reduce sexual drive rather than increase it but in this scientifically illiterate bigoted world where every ignorant asshole has an unfounded opinion that contradiction will never occur in those pinhead's brain cell.
Reconciling with my Own Son.
In 2005 I came out (I honestly do not know if it was the Psych. Drugs, and a huge Mistake). I've been estranged from the whole family since. On December 1st, my son came by to reconcile. It's been 16 years!
Gwen
Forgetting or Neglecting
It seems that readers are focusing on Frank Turner's father's transitioning, and not paying attention to the history of abuse.
Apart from that, I was reminded of this story about a reconciliation: Returning Home for Christmas.
-- Daphne Xu (a page of contents)
Good point
Forgiveness is a good thing. But I agree that little is addressed regarding the devastation to the family his father wrought. Transitioning does NOT change character or personality; reconciliation did not arise from hormones and/or other interventions. Everyone, male or female or non-binary, etc., is capable of making unselfish choices as parents, regardless of gender. Miranda was always capable of being a loving parent all. She did not suddnly become responible because of transition. Her persona might have changed, but she's still the father whose actions necessitated a reconcilliation in the first place.
Love, Andrea Lena
It's not all about gender & transition
One annoying thing about a lot of the commenters here is that they tend to focus on "being a girl" and transitioning as the be-all and end-all of life's issues, and ignore all other factors.
As Daphne points out, there's been little discussion of the parent's abusiveness. There's no reason to believe that she would become less abusive just because she transitioned. (There are certainly plenty of abusive trans people out there.) There does seem to be a trope here at BigCloset of a mean person turning out to be mean because they're really trans, so that they turn into an angel once they transition, but I've seen no evidence that this happens in real life. (It's like the theory that homophobes are homophobic because they're gay but in denial.)
Actually, even assuming that Miranda isn't abusing Frank as much as when he was a child, a more likely explanation is that she simply doesn't have the opportunity to abuse Frank. As a child, Frank couldn't get away from the abuse, but now, if Miranda behaves badly, Frank can simply cut off contact for as long as it takes. This is a fairly effective way of dealing with most abusers.
I'm just glad
that they seem to be reconciled, as I didn't have that chance with my son.
Angharad
More details...
Thank you all for your comments. There are some very interesting opinions here with viewpoints I didn't anticipate. Not being that familiar with the full story, I felt that I should dig into it a bit deeper and found this article from The Guardian
I was wrong to say that his Dad's transition was the main reason for the split. As the article points out, it was the preceding animosity between them. That Miranda became a better person was probably more due to leaving the stress of the banking profession and finding a new social group as she transitioned rather than the transition itself. However the end result is good with Miranda and son reconciled. And the song will no doubt give cause for thought within Frank's fan base.
Love the Story
This is truly a Homecoming story where different lifestyles and mental attitudes finally mellow out after years of discord. Personally I don't fault Miranda for trying to reign in her son after he had gone completely off the rails expressing his rebellion in every antagonistic way he could. Tattoos, Mohawk hair? Wonder if it was some punk color too? Thus he blamed his father, who never beat him, for the friction in the home? Right! Try being a parent trying to raise one or more kids who are trying the boundaries of the family home and hoping they grow up to be responsible parents themselves.
Miranda no longer has parental responsibilities so she can relax and let Adult Frank be the rebel or whatever he wishes. Trust me, I understand very well as I have stopped trying to bail out two grown daughters who can't get their lives together. Where the hell did I go wrong? I believe we gave them too much trying to give them what we never had growing up. It obviously was the wrong approach.
As a mother-father, I empathize with Miranda after reading the story. She was trying to reign in a run a way rebel who was totally out of control. Frank blames his "mother" for everything going wrong. Still not accepting his wild lifestyle as the root cause of friction in the family home. Personally I think Miranda is being more than a gracious loving mother going to his concerts. I'd have to bring along my own music and ear buds to handle that. I love a wide range of "music" from Celtic, classical, country western, religious, rock and roll, etc. But it must be music not two dogs howling in a pipe at one another with wanabe off key guitar plucking added in. I'd probably sell my soul to reach all the scales Leah does and in two different languages. There are others.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vF03kI5HbbQ
Hugs Mandy
Barb
Life is meant to be lived. It's too short to take seriously, have fun with it. God has a sense of humor. She made me.
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl