I'm just ... so tired of these nightmares. I'm tired from the lack of sleep. I'm tired of the emotional drain. I'm tired of needing to go around the house, and turn on the lights. A lot of the time, I won't remember what I dreamed about. I'll just wake up, feeling scared, or angry, or something like that. I remembered what I dreamed about last night/this morning. I'm not sure if that's better or worse.
I was curled up, and laying on my side, in some place that was dark and cramped. I could smell turpentine, and other chemicals. The place I was in was made of metal, including the doors in front of me. I knew I was hiding, but not exactly why. I tried pushing the doors open, but they were locked.
My heart started thumping. I knew I'd be in trouble if I made too much noise. But I also really needed to go, and I knew I'd also be in trouble if I wet myself. My eyes started burning with tears. I was trapped, and no matter what I did, I knew something bad would happen.
It took me a while after I woke up, before I felt brave enough to get out of bed, and start turning on the lights, so I could get to the bathroom. I really wish I could get these nightmares to stop.
Comments
All Too Familiar
The kind of nightmare that you described sounded all too familiar. So does your experience with the psychiatrist, although not as personal, unlike the nightmares. They don't hear what you're saying. Ignoring a PHARMACIST? Not returning phone calls, and ignoring another professional as well as a client is an open invititation to a malpractice lawsuit.
All too late, I think of a good response such as, "What part of TREMORS don't you understand?"
There was a while, AFTER addressing my serious sleep problem (severe sleep apnea), that the nightmares got frequent enough that I was scared to go to sleep. I managed to address the problem partially: I took my evening anxiety medicine just before going to bed. (Not perfect, but several times after a nightmare, I realized that I'd forgotten the medicine.)
YMMV: my medicine is an MAOI. Quite effective, but two drawbacks. I've had no problems with food, and the contraindications have probably been overstated with today's food production. But I dare not test the issue of conflicting drugs. I always inform any physician intending to prescribe a medicine about the MAOI.
-- Daphne Xu (a page of contents)
The last time ...
... I was seeing a therapist, I was absolutely positive I didn't want any meds to deal with stuff. Lately, especially the last few weeks, I'm starting to think maybe I wouldn't be so against it. The only thing that still scare me about taking meds, is having them keeping me asleep, and not being able to wake up when a nightmare starts getting bad.
Prescriptions
Awww! ::hugs::
The only thing I would recommend is if you're prescribed medications, get a second opinion from a different office. My 1st co-wife was prescribed a drug to help with essential tremors and it turned out that the drug didn't help them at all... it was made for Parkinson's Disease.
Just be careful and know you are loved!
Thank you!
I really appreciate your advice and support. It really means an awful lot to me!
{{{hugging back}}}
The Right Meds
They have to be the right meds, or close enough. This means that one has to be willing to try repeatedly. It probably helps to have a spouse or SO to judge. ("Have you taken your med this morning?" when I go grrr grrr with my arms and fists. Usually, I haven't yet.) Mine ("Parnate") doesn't cause any sleepiness, although the occasional time I tried to wake up, it was futile -- it's a property of nightmares for me.
A number of times I awoke from a nightmare, only to spot that I'd forgotten to take the med the night before.
Sometimes, needless suffering is caused by prohibition on meds.
-- Daphne Xu (a page of contents)
Experimenting ...
... sounds kinda scary. I'm already a bit of a mess. I'd hate to experiment, and find meds make things worse, rather than better. Still ... if things *do* wind up getting better, it might be worth taking a chance.
I have that problem also...
I have that problem also; night terrors. My therapist thinks it's PTSD, triggered by stress or by viewing something in the news which relates to the sexual trauma I experienced at the hands of my father when I was a child (repeatedly being raped). The folks at Mayo Clinic say that the intensity of them is related to the progression of my Lewy Body Dementia.
The latest nightmare was a repeat of my earlier ones--I am sleeping and then I am suddenly attacked by a shadowy figure and assaulted or beaten. This time, the figure jumped on me, landing on my chest with his knees and then stomping on my legs. The reality of it was unnerving. I could feel my ribs snapping and the sounds (and pain) of my legs breaking. My screams woke up my wife and it took her around ten minutes to calm me down.
I am already experiencing hallucinations from the dementia (vivid image flashes of things out of the corner of my eye) but nothing like this dream. I will be seeing the doctor who handles my meds later this week about upping my anti-anxiety prescription, so, hopefully, that will help lower the intensity of the problem.
charlie.
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/missing-without-a-trace-cha...
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/832524
Gah!
That sounds horrible! I hope things can be worked out with your doctor.