Chapter 7

After Susan had left we discussed what we were going to do. I think Talia was conflicted because she had emotionally committed to having Kalie cloned and all that might entail. That meant, if I was unable to cope, that dream would be gone. I thought she was brave to agree in the first place. In a private session with Susan, Susan suggested that it was a bigger deal than I had even imagined. Talia would have to give up or admit that the Kalie lying in the hospital bed was never coming home.

I believed I would be able to clone Kalie since Stormdancer had mentioned it and I had most of the skills that would be required, but the Kalie clone would never have the same memories and possibly a different soul. To counter that Talia had been talking to the unresponsive Kalie, explaining what we were going to do and requesting that her soul move across. Begging would be more accurate.

I had three different ideas of how I might be able to succeed, but I wouldn't be able to try until I had an egg to play with. My power wouldn't let me take an ordinary cell of mine and replace my DNA with Kalie's. I think that was because of the read-only files and a safety feature. I didn't want to turn into Kalie as that would mean the death of my identity. That did mean I would have to go through one period which I was not looking forward to. It's hard to complain, especially to a woman who has the same issue every month of their fertile life.

So I was fairly confident that I could clone her, but the mental aspects hadn't been properly considered. I mean I knew the intellectual idea and I had read a few transgender stories, but feeling it for yourself is a different ball game. Neither of us could refute Susan's argument which meant, big gulp, I was going on a crash course in femininity. Some of it I wasn't going to even attempt. Looking for a partner sounded like a bad idea with all that was going on or maybe that was an excuse because the thought of having sex scared me. And I would never accept a casual partner. I hadn't liked the idea of that as a man and I certainly wasn't going to lower my standards because I was now a woman. For me, sex had always been more of the making love scenario, a profoundly emotional experience. If I was looking for pleasure, well that could be done on my own, so I accepted Susan's masturbation challenge. I was looking forward to it with a curious optimism.

Dressing femininely would have to be under Talia's guidance. My body had finished rearranging itself so we went upstairs and I was remeasured. 32DD, 24, 38 were my measurements. Big jugs and wide birthen' hips. Quite narrow up top which made me look and feel a bit delicate and emphasised my larger chest. Talia then left me to go to the shops and buy me some clothes.

Left alone in the house I decided to give my body a spin, so to speak. I straight away realised it was going to be a completely different experience. I won't go into details, but it took some time to work myself up and even longer to get there but the pleasure was much more profound. I had chosen the DNA configuration of my vagina based on the woman who gave birth easily and I wasn't going to change that and my breasts and nipples were carefully chosen for easy breastfeeding. My clitoris I could change out fairly easily, so I chose one that had more nerve endings and activated my body for that change. I also went online and bought a few adult toys. I also took the time to meditate to see if I was emotionally uncomfortable in any way from playing with a very different body. I was beginning to suspect that I wouldn't have any problems and that might be part of my superpowers coming into play. Or it could just be the knowledge that nothing was permanent, I could change in whatever way I wished. Becoming trapped in the wrong body was never going to be an issue.

Talia came back and I got my first experience of female clothing. The bra was quite the contraption. As a previously married man, I had enough knowledge to know about doing it up at the front, shifting it around and then getting my arms in. It wasn't comfortable though and Talia had to walk me through how to adjust my breasts within their cups.

Putting on panties was also a mind opener. These were just plain white panties although Talia indicated that if I wanted to go with the feminine crash course, I needed to upgrade to proper sexy lingerie. It was putting them on and feeling the complete lack of anything to get in the way that blew my mind. For some reason, putting on panties reminded me in a very visceral way that my groin was now female. There was nothing to support, it was merely a case of hiding my secret garden. The dress that followed just confirmed what the underwear was saying.

I explained that to Talia and went over my feelings which were mainly shock, but no negative emotions. I also talked about my belief that I wouldn't have a problem with being female but thought Susan had a good idea. With that in mind, we brainstormed ideas and Talia being the organised person that she is, took notes and started immediate action.

Before I went out she thought I should have some girl training. Practice wearing heels, putting on makeup, walking, talking, girl mannerisms like crossing legs, sweeping my dress into place before sitting down, walking with a book on my head and things like that. Some of it you can't teach, it either comes naturally or doesn't. I also needed a couple of days for my hair to grow out. My first trip out was going to be going to a salon and spa. Manicure, pedicure, facial, massage, hair cut. The works. Then I needed to go shopping, female style, which I was dreading.

We were both joining a gym for a month and would go to aerobics and yoga. Talia wanted me to go to ballet. I think that was revenge for making her go when she was a child, but her mother got the majority of the blame for that. Ballet wasn't really suitable for my lush frame so Talia looked for what was available and came up with belly dancing or grass skirt dancing. We had a look on youtube and decided on the Hula dancing that was being run by a New Zealander. Both looked very female, but we connected to the Hula more. We also signed up for some Salsa dancing.

It was going to be an interesting month.

Chapter 8

The next three days went so wrong, so often, that I literally broke down in tears of laughter. It was a good exercise in learning to laugh at myself. I put the difficulty down to mental inertia. I had spent sixty-eight years thinking of myself as a man and therefore spoke, moved and acted how I thought a man should. When I pretended to be a woman, which is weird considering I was one, I overexaggerated everything and looked ridiculous.

It was easier to get to what Talia thought was acceptable by constantly playing a female actress. I could tone down my excesses and even when I got it wrong I still appeared to be very much a woman rather than trying to add a lifeless femininity to my normal movements and, as Talia reminded me, I wasn't pretending and I really was a girl now. It was also a lot more fun.

My voice was an interesting experiment to get right. Obviously, I already had a higher register than a man, but I still came across as stilted. We tackled the difficulty by watching movies followed by attempting to talk like one of the actresses. Youtube was a great resource and had great explanations about the difference between the phrasing that men and women use.

I also took the opportunity to try and improve my singing voice. I thought since I had a huge selection of DNA, I could alter my voice box and develop a decent singing voice, but it wasn't that easy. Funnily enough, it required altering my perception and appreciation of sound to be able to correct my tonal errors. We both agreed that I could now carry a tune pretty well and I liked how I sounded.

Makeup was a completely different adventure. My first attempts were disastrous, but I didn't really need a lot as a fifteen-year-old girl. I decided this was another opportunity to practice using my superpower. I had Talia perfect my makeup for everyday and special occasions and then used my DNA to alter the colour of my skin to mimic the same colours. It meant, after a bit of experimentation I could permanently keep a mildly made up look and an evening look. The change between them took about an hour. I could mimic the colours but I struggled with the shininess. My lips looked stained rather than covered in lipstick. Talia disagreed with me and wanted me to learn all about makeup as well as applying it. We compromised by having discussions and watching a program that was about the best makeup artists. I just couldn't get used to the feeling of having all that stuff plastered to my face so my version was my idea of compromise. If asked I would say that I had permanent makeup. The hardest element was my eyebrows. I tried removing the hair and creating makeup eyebrows but it looked like two caterpillars had taken residence. I restored the hair, allowed Talia to pluck them into shape and then did a reverse healing to stop the hairs from growing. I didn't enjoy the plucking and didn't want a repeat.

I couldn't believe how much fun I was having swishing my hips, looking over my shoulder with my hip pushed out and either winking or blowing Talia a kiss. We were having so much fun, even with a toned-down version that I think we both felt a bit guilty. How could we be happy while Kalie was in a coma in hospital? Talia was still visiting frequently and I knew we had a plan that would involve leaving Kalie behind which also made us feel bad, even if we were taking a DNA double with us. Still, I thought we were doing the right thing.

After those three days, it was time to take my acting out into the public which gave me a bit of stage fright. Still, regardless of how I looked, I had sixty-eight years of life experience and usually didn't care what others thought about me. It was still uncomfortable thinking that everyone was looking at me even if that wasn't the reality. Rather than give in to it or hide behind Talia, I leaned into my acting, gave an extra sway to my hips and smirked at anyone brave enough to catch my gaze. My stomach fluttered a few times in anxiety, but I had dealt with worse.

Wearing a dress or skirt felt out of my comfort zone when I first put them on mainly because they are so different to trousers. There is a vulnerability involved that relates to easy access to private areas with occasional breezes getting to places that I had never experienced to remind you of the difference. The same could be said of bras, another very female item that constantly reminds you that you are not male anymore, especially when you have large breasts. When I no longer was breastfeeding I would be tempted to reduce their size. Both wearing tops that showed cleavage and dresses or skirts that showed off my wide hips pushed me emotionally, but also fit with the female persona I was developing of a feminine, flirty, confident and playful woman. Quite a difference to the calm, quiet, serious but confident male that I had been.

This did worry me a bit but speaking to Susan reassured me. I thought I was faking it until I made it. She suggested that aspects of my personality that I had repressed were coming out. I respected women, but after I was married, didn't want to admit that I found any other woman attractive, as that would hurt my partner. That would cut out a lot of my playfulness and my daughter agreed because I had been playful with my children.

By this point, my hair had grown to almost reach my shoulders, but Talia wanted me to try having longer hair so my haircut was a simple shape and trim. I still had to learn how to blow dry and brush my hair as well as a few different ponytails. One low in back, one a few inches up and one relatively high which kept the wet hair off clothes if I didn't have a chance to dry it. Kalie had always had long hair and Talia had played with it, putting it into all these different styles, so I didn't want to upset Talia with objections as this seemed to be a healing moment for her.

I enjoyed the facial and loved the massage. I have always enjoyed having a massage but my skin was now softer and more sensitive so a massage became heavenly. The mani and pedi I suffered through but didn't enjoy. The different colours did help to make me feel pretty, which was something I was beginning to appreciate. I slowed down the growth rate of the nail beds so I wouldn't be cutting them all the time, hopefully reducing the need for more active care.

Most of my DNA makeup was done with shades of brown or increased blood flow to pink an area subtly. I wanted to be able to colour my nails but didn't have any human DNA to use. I had colours in skin, hair and the iris of the eye, but that was very limiting without mixing to create a fuller palette. If I wanted to experiment I would probably have to use non-human DNA. I wasn't prepared to do that yet although I had thought about it because I was sure I could use animal DNA to make myself stronger. In my sixty-eight years, I had been to numerous zoos so I had quite a catalogue of DNA to chose from. Colour changing pigments from either an Octopus or Chameleon sounded interesting but how would you consciously control it? I think I would need to add something to the nervous system and that idea scared me.

For the moment I would stick to human DNA. I had wondered about using DNA from supers to give myself powers but when I examined other DNA I didn't get the same deep level of information that I managed to get off my own about their read-only files which included where their powers came from. For this reason, when I tried to experimentally add that DNA to mine, it didn't work and I knew that was because I needed to completely understand it first. My power was not saying no, it was saying it would be dangerous to mess with what you didn't understand.

If I was being honest, I didn't have much desire to be a superhero or superheroine. I didn't like violence and I didn't like getting hurt. I did have a level of protectiveness that had prevented me from looking away when I saw somebody in need or being bullied. I wouldn't want to search for it though or enjoy the repercussions.

I loved the hula dancing and found it forced me to learn proper hip movements. I could now move my pelvis in ways that I never had as a man. It made me feel sexy. It was almost like you were demanding that people look at you. The looks from men did nothing for me, but also didn't offend me. The occasional woman who gave me appreciative glances felt exciting. According to Talia, I was a mild tease, but confident enough to pull it off without offending anyone or giving them green lights.

On the few times we went out dancing I did draw a lot of attention despite not being that beautiful. There were a few men who didn't want to take no for an answer but I just told them I was fifteen which deterred them. I was careful with what I was drinking and had no interest in playing with alcohol. We stayed away from anywhere that required ID since it would be another couple of weeks before my female ID came through.

My period, when it came was mildly painful, but I think it was the hormonal changes and general feeling of not being at my best that I didn't like. There was also a sense of wrongness. Why should my body bleed when there was nothing wrong with it? I did feel more emotional and some of the emotions didn't make any sense. I felt it was unfair that I had to go through this and men didn't, even though, until recently, I had been a man and had chosen to be in this position. I felt vaguely angry at men in general and pampering myself with chocolate seemed to mollify my feelings somewhat. I guess emotions don't have to make sense or be logical.