Unrequited love, loss, self-pity. If you look at them they all demonstrate the feelings of the individual, they're all about me and how I feel, which is what reality is, we can only know how someone else feels if they tell us and sometimes that is very difficult to impossible. Sometimes we care or do things for others because we have a need to do so more than they need us to, if they need us at all.

We spend most of our lives in our own reality, feeding our own desires and needs which may or may not meet with others. It's part of being human and sometimes not one of our better aspects.

I agree with you. And there's more than just love for that one person.

I know that's the first thing that people tend to think of when they hear the word love, but there's a reason there are many different words for it in languages other than English.

My wife is the most loving person I know, always helping others, taking them where they need to go. If they need something, she'll look online and find what they need. If we can afford it, she'll buy it for them.

Many times, I feel like she's not paying enough attention to me, but the fact is, I would love to be out there helping her help others.

It can get abusive, yes, and we've had people try to take advantage of us. When that happens, we nip it in the bud. We've had to say no to people we've helped before because it's turning into something they depend on.

Even then, we help as much as we can, but expecting us to stop everything, even our jobs, to come to their side, all the time, just can't be done.

The strange thing is, philos, or brotherly (sisterly) love is so much easier than keeping a marriage alive. As I said, many times I feel like my wife doesn't spend enough time with me. I was a minister in the past, and I guess I still am, because the mindset of "charity" is strong in me. But I still get frustrated sometimes because I can get overwhelmed easily.

The fact of the matter is, she does this out of her love for others. If I was able to, I would be doing this right along with her. Since I'm not physically able to, I handle things at home to the best of my ability, and keep in mind that I'm doing what I can so she can show her love to others.

I suppose it may be thought that since there are times when I feel my needs are secondary, she's not taking care of my needs. I don't believe that's the case. She knows that I'm a minister and that helping others has been my life's work. To see that stop because of my physical problems would be something I don't think I could handle. In a convoluted way, I would be placing my needs over someone else's.

Would this work for others? Perhaps not. But there are many ways we can put others needs before our own because we love them.