This is the last of the stories that were written in advance for this series, so don't expect updates every two days any longer. It will probably be a week before Chapter 6 is ready: Dawn

May You Live in Interesting Times

Chapter 5

William rose early and found Joe sleeping in the hall outside his door. He prodded the boy with a foot, waking him.

“Is it time, milord?” the boy said, quickly getting up. “I’se ready to go.”

“Don’t you have a bed downstairs?” William asked.

“Aye. A right fine one,” Joe said. “But I wants to be ready, you see, so I curled up here. This carpet ‘s a finer mattress than most I’se slept on lately.”

“Good. Well, can you run and get James from the stables? Bring him to the kitchen where we will break fast. He should bring two others with him, and have others get the horses ready.”

“Aye sire,” Joe said, running off. William smiled at seeing the urchin run. He seemed so happy in his new position. When they had freed him, William had wondered about Abigail’s judgment, but it was clear that she was right. He headed off to the indoor latrine, and soon after was in the kitchen, where there were already several undercooks present, although not the cook. Instead Abigail was up early, keeping things organized for breakfast. She then intended to head out shopping while the undercooks prepared dinner. She planned to cheat and buy a cooked roast for the main meal of the day.

When Joe returned with the men, there were five bacon buns ready for them, using the remains of yesterday’s hog. The men (and Joe) ate as they walked back to the stables. The four carriage horses were saddled and ready, and there were 10 sacks made from grain bags on the saddle of the Earl’s horse.

The four men mounted, and Joe said he would run alongside. William wouldn’t allow that, and had him mount double behind the smallest of the stable hands. They set out and reached the stage inn shortly, where William purchased a common horse that would serve as a baggage horse, as well as being a mount for Joe, who was proud to ride a horse of his own. He named his steed Jerry and petted and coaxed it along for the ride.

It took the men an hour to get to the spot they sought. They came to the big tree that William, James, and Rich, the guard, had pushed to the side of the road to allow the coach through after the attempted robbery. It had been chopped into small pieces so it could not be used again by another gang. Looking at it, it was clear that farmers or others had taken some of the pieces of the trunk, and most of the kindling created by the smaller branches. No doubt in another few days there would be no sign left of the fallen tree.

Joe took the lead from this point and they walked their horses through narrow paths away from the road for another half hour. The cave was on the side of a low rise, and was only about three feet high at the entrance. Inside it opened up, and most of the men could stand upright, although William needed to stoop a bit. Joe ran to the back, where firewood was stored, and knocked the pile aside, then kneeled down and started to scoop out the sand, looking like a dog digging out a rabbit hole.

The room was nearly dark, lit only by the light from the small cave opening, so William gathered some of the scattered firewood, and used a flint to get a blazing fire going that lit the room greatly. As the fire started, Joe let out a squeal of delight. He had found the first piece of treasure, a fancy bejeweled necklace that must have been owned by a Lady. He handed it to William, who admired it, and decided that it must have cost well over £100.

Joe had slowed down, and was pulling out something with every handful of sand. There were many rings, earrings, and more necklaces. There were male jewels as well, rings, gold and silver arm bands, pocket flasks of the same materials, and ornate jeweled buckles. By the time the boy eased up after an hour, there were more than 200 items. With Joe exhausted, William set another man to the task and a half hour later the third man replaced him. Joe went back in after that, and found that while the others had continued in a straight line in, he was able to find more by veering off to the left and the right. It was well after noon when they finished, and true to Joe’s estimate there were seven bags full of loot when they finished, and even Joe could not find any more items. The man took the bags out and put three of them on Joe’s horse, and took one each on the other horses. The bags were not huge, but much of the contents were gold, making them heavy.

As they followed Joe back to the road William apologized: “Sorry lads, but I don’t want to stop off anywhere to eat. I just want to get this all back to the house, and hopefully we can get a bite there.” There was a giggle from the front. “What’s that Joe?” William asked.

“Pity. Me hasing to miss a meal after all the good eats I’se gotten with you and milady. Afore that it were missing a week that was sorryfull.”

“And you won’t miss one this time either,” William kidded back. “It will just be delayed.”

It took almost two hours to get back to the house, since James knew of some back roads that allowed them to get home without riding down the busiest streets. Soon they had moved all the bags into William’s office, and placed them behind the desks. That allowed them to go down to the kitchen, were supper preparations were underway. A new younger cook was on duty now, and she was able to find some food for them from the dinner leftovers.

Hockings was in his cubbyhole of an office, meeting staff one at a time and trying to determine how much pay they wanted. William had left him with a substantial stack of pound coins, and each staff member was given one. A few pleaded for more for some reason, and if the reason seemed valid, additional arrears were paid. Most were willing to wait the three weeks to quarter day, when full arrears were given. And even then most staff would only be taking a quarter’s pay, with the arrears all going into a savings account. The staff had argued over the plan through the night, and at breakfast, and most agreed that it was a boon that they would take up. Having retirement money was unheard of for their class and they wanted to take advantage.

---- -- ----- -----

Abigail finished serving breakfast about an hour after William had left, and headed out on her shopping trip using the carriage her brother had sent for her. The first stop was at a seamstress, who was happy to find that Abigail was ready to pay for all the arrears from the house, some more than two years old. She then was even more surprised to learn of the new order. Abigail ordered five gowns for herself, and three each for the Duchess and Gabrielle. One gown was ordered for Gloria. Then the big sale came up. Abi wanted three new outfits for each of the staff in the house. There would be two normal outfits for working, and one special one to be used when special guests came. This totaled over 100 outfits, and the seamstress noted that it would take several months to finish the order. Abigail asked if it was possible that she share out the work with others in her trade, since she wanted it fulfilled in a month. The seamstress agreed.

Gabrielle was in heaven. The little girl hadn’t had a new gown created for her since she was an infant, and she reveled in selecting fabrics and styles. The Duchess was more restrained, and several times Gabrielle chided her mother for choosing styles that were out of date. Abigail wondered how the girl was so up in fashion: women’s magazines were still 300 years away.

Abi selected four gowns that Gabrielle claimed would be very stylish, and in the fifth one she specified something new: a keyhole neckline that would plunge down her impressive cleavage. If she was going to have to carry these things around, she wanted to make sure that people didn’t assume they were stuffed with whatever the 17th century equivalent of Kleenex was. She said it was a new style from France.

They spent two hours at the seamstress, and then had to rush to get the rest of their shopping done. The next stop was at the tinsmith where they used the list that the disgraced former cook had helped create to make a large order of pots and pans. The shop was full of ready-made goods that Abi picked from, with the assistance of her maid Gloria, who had worked in the kitchen until recently.

“Those,” Abigail pointed to a tall, thin tin that seemed to hold about a quart. “Do they have lids?”

“No milady, but lids could be created,” the master said. “I have 2 ready to sell. Do you want one, or both?”

“I need 12,” Abigail said as she examined the sample. “With lids. And I also need a large pot that will hold all of these, with several inches of space in between. None of these on display are large enough, so I suppose it will have to be custom made for us. And a lid for that. The pot should be good copper, but the lid can be a lesser metal, perhaps the same as these little tins.”

The selected goods were loaded into the carriage, and Abigail was ready to go home, when Gloria pointed out a final shop. It was a soapmaker.

The master in this shop was a woman, who inherited the business when her husband died. “I hope you can give me some information about soap making,” Abi said.

“I’ll not give out my formulas so youse can make yer own soap,” the woman said curtly.

“Oh, no. We don’t want anything like that. I was just wondering: soap is rather hard, isn’t it?”

“Aye, most folks like it that way. It lasts longer, yer see.”

“Yes,” Abi agreed. “And that is perfect for household use. But I wonder if a softer soap could be used: for personal use in the bath?”

“Why that’d be possible. In fact, I ‘spect that nobles such like yerself would be interested in that.”

“Yes, especially if you were to use scent in the formula. Imagine soap that had a faint smell of rose, or berries,” Abi said.

“Aye, that’d sell to the nobs,” the woman said then realized she had used a derogatory term for nobles. “Not yerself, milady. Yer seems more like a normal person than a noble.” Abigail smiled, remembering herself in the kitchen this morning. Nothing noble to that image.

“One last thing. Is soap ever made that is not solid. Runny like a liquid?”

“Not in my shop, milady,” the woman said. “They’s some that make mistakes and the soap won’t go solid. I’se knows the tricks to firm it up though.”

“Could you make me some liquid soap?” Abi asked. “Preferably scented once you get the hang of that. It would be for cleaning that hair. Ideally it would foam up as it was rubbed into the hair.”

“Aye. I ‘spect I could do that,” the woman said. “That’s another thing that nobles would like. Milady, your ideas will make my shop famous with them.”

“Not just nobles,” Abigail said. “I suspect when word gets out the better off merchants will adopt the new soaps. The liquid version is called cham-poo by the women in India, where I grew up.”¹

“Sham-poo,” the woman said. “Is there a name for the other?”

“That is just called hand and body soap,” Abigail said. She then bought several months supply of hard soap for the house, and they left, returning to the house at eleven.

Back at the house Abigail headed down to the kitchen immediately, putting on one of the new aprons that had been bought the day previously. The cooked roast that they picked up at the cook house was put in the oven to keep warm, and Abi found that all the undercooks had prepared the sides and dessert for the meal.

“The Earl and his men are not yet back,” one undercook said. “Do we do dinner for noon, or wait till they return?”

Just like a man not to phone, Abi thought, then giggled. She was well aware that cell phones were a long way from being invented. “No, we won’t make all the staff wait just because the master is late for dinner,” she announced.

There was silence throughout the kitchen for a few minutes. The staff could not believe what they had heard. The needs of the staff coming before that of the master was just not something that was done in 1642. Slowly things were made ready for the meal in a half hour.

Just then a young woman of about 30 came into the kitchen, and started talking to one of the women making bread dough for the evening meal. After a bit the undercook brought the woman over.

“This is Delilah Summner,” the undercook said. “She worked with us five or six years ago, and then took a job at Lord Tennes kitchen as a cook. She had heard about some of the changes you and the master have made, and wanted to talk.”

“Is it true that you allow your staff to court?” Delilah asked.

“Yes ma’am,” Abi said. “It is a one year program so that staff can be sure they are compatible. After that they can marry, and continue working for the house.”

“Wow. That sounds incredible,” the woman said. “I have decided that I need to look at getting a family. I have met a man from another house, where he is assistant to the head gardener. We have spoken a few times after church, the only time we can meet. He said he wants to marry me, so I told the housekeeper at the Tennes house I would be leaving at Christmas, the end of the next quarter. She got quite upset, and said I couldn’t leave then because Christmas was so busy and new cooks would be hard to find.”

“So a few hours ago some woman comes in … from here I understand … and says she is a cook. The housekeeper hired her on the spot, and paid me my quarter wages. I offered to stay until Michaelmas, but the new cook claimed that she didn’t want another cook around. I was paid my quarter but now I am out. I was hoping that there would be a job here, but it seems that you have beat me to it.”

Abigail realized that the woman thought she was the new cook. She was about to explain that, when an undercook took the meat from the oven. “How is it that your oven is not hot if you are making bread?” Delilah asked.

“There is a roaring fire under,” Abi said. “I thought the heat would transfer up to the oven.” The oven was situated right above the fireplace where the spit usually sat.

“That will never get hot enough for bread. You need a very hot oven for bread. Have you ever made bread before?”

“Not with an oven like this,” Abigail said. Douglas had made bread as a hobby at home, but hadn’t found anything to explain bread making in 1642 in his research. “What should I do?”

“Well, normally you start a hot fire inside the oven. Burn it for a few hours, and then the oven will be hot enough. You just sweep out the ashes quickly, and then put the bread in. But your bread is already on its final rise. It needs a hot oven in 45 minutes to an hour or it will over rise and be ruined.”

“Oh my,” Abi said.

“There is a trick though, if you have coal. A coal fire will burn hot quicker than wood, although you will need wood for a starter.”

“There is a coal bin behind the oven, milady,” an undercook said. “There might be some coal left.”

She took Abi and Delilah back to the rear of the stove and fireplace, where they found two metal doors for the oven and for the firepit on one side, and a dark room on the other side: the coal bin. Abi picked up a small shovel and rooted around the bin, finding about five lumps of coal left.

“There seems to be five lumps left,” Abi said. “But there is a great deal of coal dust.”

“That is good. Coal dust burns much quicker than the lumps, so if you put five or 10 shovels full in on the burning faggot it will heat up quickly. Then add the lumps. They won’t burn completely in 45 minutes, but you can put them in the firepit when you clear out the oven,” Delilah said.

Abi saw that someone had put a faggot of small sticks into the oven from the other side, as well as two branches from the fire that were burning on one end. She started scooping in coal dust, and when her count was to ten, she added the lumps. The faggot was now fully ablaze, and most of the coal dust as well. As she was adding the coal, Delilah continued to chat: “I heard one of the undercooks refer to you as milady. Is it normal for the staff here to call the cook milady?”

Abi laughed as she shoveled. “No, no. I am not the cook. I was about to tell you when you noticed the oven was not hot. I am the sister of the Earl who owns the house. When I fired the old cook for theft, I decided that I needed to help out until we found someone to take her place? Do you want the job?”

“Milady,” Delilah curtseyed. “And I let you shovel coal! Normally the spit boy does that. It can be quite dirty work. Forgive me.”

“No need,” Abigail said. “A little work never hurt anyone. And a little dirt will wash out.” She stepped out of the bin, slamming the rear oven door shut as she did.

“Oh my,” Delilah said as Abi got into the dim light of the kitchen. Abi looked down at her hands and lower arms, which were black with coal dust. Abi realized that her face was probably the same color.

“Milady, we needs take you to a sink immediately. But how to do so without the staff all seeing you?”

“Nonsense. It won’t hurt them to know I do a bit of work when needed.” With that she walked out into the kitchen where everyone stopped again. Although this time is was not to silence, but giggling.

“I know, I look a fright,” Abi said with a chuckle. “I want you all to take note that Delilah Summner here has accepted the job as cook, so you are no longer being led by an incompetent. Now all of you stand back until I get to the sink where I can get rid of this mess. And you may laugh now, but remember who will have to clean this soot from my clothes.”

With that she went to the sink. Delilah got a tub of lard from an undercook, and brought it to Abi. Apparently you can coat the coal dust with lard, and then it will mix in. When you scrape off the dirty lard, it will take most of the dust with it. The dirty lard would then go to the stables to grease wagons.

Abi and Gloria spent the next hour cleaning her up. First the lard on her face and arms, and then several bars of soap were used until they were black. As one bar was replaced by the other, an undercook scraped the sooty layer from the soap, so it could be used again. Finally, Abi was clean, although her gown was filthy. She stripped right there, since there were only women in the kitchen. The gown and apron went straight to the laundry while Gloria sped up to her room to choose another gown.

One interesting thing was that every woman in the kitchen came over at one point or the other to peer at Abi in her underclothes. Apparently many of them had insisted that she wore padding, and were duly impressed by the massive breasts that rode on the cups of the corset.

When she was dressed, she noticed that servers were returning to the kitchen with platters from the dining room. “Did I miss dinner?” Abi asked.

“You did say you wanted the meal served on time. The Duke, Duchess, and the girl have all eaten. But we can take another plate up for you,” an undercook said.

“Well, all of you will be eating now, as well as the men, right? I will join you.”

The meal started quietly, with the staff afraid to speak out in front of their mistress. Abi broke that up by telling the men about her experiences in the coal bin. Soon the entire table was laughing merrily as they ate, bonding as a team with the new cook and their mistress.

“We need more coal,” Abi said, starting the chuckles again. “Although this time I shall not be involved. Who looks after that?” Delilah looked at Kensing, the literate stablehand. “Normally the stables pick it up when the cook says it is needed,” Kensing said. “The coal seller’s right near the grain dealer.”

“Can you pick up a load?” Abi asked.

“Consider it done,” he said. “How much is needed?”

The cook guessed that the bin could hold 200 pounds.

“Two sacks then?” Kensing said.

“Make it five or six,” Abigail suggested. “It there room to store the rest in the stables or a barn? We don’t need to scrimp on supplies any more.”

“Aye,” Kensing said. “That’ll make a load then. The dealer will deliver. I will send a boy over to make the order. I wonder if we have an account with him.”

“If we do, it will be in arrears,” Abi said. “Get five pounds from Hockings for your boy to take with him, and tell the merchant that the rest of the account will be cleared in full when the coal is delivered. If the master is not back yet, I will approve the account.”

The master did arrive at the same time as the coal, with several interesting bags that were stored in the office next to the satchel. He and his men ate a late dinner in the dining room, which embarrassed the stable men not used to being in there. They had barely warm beef, but covered in a tasty gravy the new cook had made, as well as sides that had been reheated for a few minutes in the now cooling oven. They also had a bonus: fresh bread only a half an hour out of the oven.

Shortly thereafter William went up to his room, finding the workman’s clothes that Abi had picked up for him at a rag merchant next to the seamstress. Once he put it on, he no longer looked noble. Luckily he had the short hair of the roundheads, not the long locks of a Cavalier, which would have made concealing his status impossible. He made sure that the only coin he had were pence and a few shillings. Carrying gold pounds would immediately flag him as a noble or a thief.

He sent Joe to find James, and then the two men slipped out a side door, unseen. They appeared to be two workmen when they entered the tavern at the stage office, where several people recognized James, and invited them to their table.

1. I surprised myself on this one. In researching Wikipedia to check, I find the idea of shampoo did come from India, where it as called Cham-po. It didn’t come to England until the early 1800s, so Abi is just causing an earlier arrival. Of course Abi will not know that her story about India rang true.