I was in my mid 20s driving my GP 20 miles for chemo treatments back in the late '70s. He was so weak and frail I had to carry him to the car. Quite naturally he was in great pain and discomfort. I was just coming off my 4th knee surgery and was hurting too. We talked as I drove. I commented that I could never recall he was ever depressed, even after losing my GM and now the cancer. I'd seen him angry, but once he blew off the steam he was back to his happy self.

He replied: "I learned early on how to beat depression. It takes a bit of effort but I did it and you can too. First off, there's something good in everything that happens. Train yourself to look for and find the good. Then clutch it to your chest as you handle the bad. That way you have the good as a shield for your heart as you deal with the bad."

Since we were both in pain I asked him what was so good about pain? He chuckled and winced from the pain, then replied "As long as I hurt I know I'm alive!"

I've followed his advice and can not recall ever being depressed, worst was a few minor bouts of frustration. At 49 in 2000 I had my right knee replaced, the culmination of 9 surgeries over 30 years. Later that year my wife slipped on ice and fractured 2 vertebrae, which was aggravated by MS. She refused treatment and for 6 months I dressed her, took to school (she was an elementary librarian) then made our meals, bathed her and put her to bed. Finally the pain overwhelmed her and she went into the hospital, for 47 days as they stabilized her, fusing the vertebrae. That left her paralyzed from the waist down and unable to sit for more than an hour leaving her bedridden. I remodeled our home to accommodate her needs and for 9 years I took care of her while working full time. (One of the ways I handled that was with humor. Since she could not use the toilet, each night I had to glove up, roll her on her side, and digitally clean her bowels. I could have groaned about the deal but I laughed, after all, how many husbands can say their wife's doctor told them to be a pain in my wife's butt.) She passed in 2010, ready to go with no regrets. I've soldiered on alone.

My left knee was replaced in 2015, the 2nd surgery on that knee. In 2014 I had major back surgery. In 2016 I became short of breathe at work and went to the doctor. Because I had it checked early I never had a heart attack. However, I did have a sextuple bypass. I retired and after a year got bored and took up driving school bus. I endured all this without depression by following my GPs advice. Holding that good close is a lifesaver! The hard part is training yourself to look for the good.